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 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 81
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the datePage 3 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
darn you still in 2009 get the high paid jobs than women an paid more because your male so time too show us da money an stop crying around about it


I dont think any guy is crying about anything. I am just saying its very easy for any women to just say "men SHOULD pay", when they DONT have to pay.

I have said this over and over again. I have NO problem paying for dates, and I take care of the first couple, no biggie. I am just saying that guys take the finacial burden when it comes to dating. Its not cheap for us. Some women dont get that and expect to be taken out and paid for all the time.

If your a women and claim that men should pay the first couple dates, then just be honest, thats a pretty sweet deal if you think about it. If multiple men take you out a couple times a month and pay everytime, then you are out NOTHING. While the men who take you out are out some money, again..there choice so its not a big deal.

With that said, women have it easier dating when it comes to the finacial side of dating. Its a double edge sword for men. We take out women the first couple times trying to impress them. Then it starts to hit us in the wallet, so we suggest alternative things that dont cost as much and all of a sudden we are not romantic anymore. "He used to take me out to romantic dinners, we dont do that anymore"..

Im a normal guy, I make normal money. I will take out women for dates and pay. It comes to a point for me where I have to find out if she is somewhat serious about me, or if we are just "hanging out" and im in the friend zone.

Lets be real here, Im not going to wait for 3 or 4 months paying for everything waiting for her to decide if im the one she wants to be with....that just doesnt make any sense for me...
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 82
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 7:44:13 AM
What I am seeing as this thread continues is that most men want the woman to at least offer to pay. They are not expecting the woman to pay, but they would like to see her offer as a sign of courtesy, equality or whatever "happy" phrase you want to call it.

And really while it is nice for the guy to pay, it never hurts to offer to pay, or just surprise him and pay. The worst that will happen is the guy might be a little put out. Then again maybe I am odd, but I figure I have a job so I can pay for the things I want, and if I want to go out w/ someone(friend or lover) I try to find venues I can afford or verify before hand they can afford to at least pay for themselves. It's really not that difficult.

It has nothing to do w/ age groups, I have seen men over 40 expect the woman to pay, and guys in their 20's be a bit put out by a girl offering to pay.

In the end it is best to just communicate w/ your date. But that seems to be sommething so many have a problem doing.
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 83
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:03:39 AM

In the end it is best to just communicate w/ your date. But that seems to be sommething so many have a problem doing. .


Herein lies the problem...is there a tasteful way of bringing this subject up without coming across like a cheapskate? Discussing finances with someone you don't know all that well can be pretty tricky
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 84
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:13:00 AM
yes!! be honest and tell her that you think she should start paying.

Then get on with your life because you know she isnt going to call you EVER!!

Thats the good thing..because she is a leach anyway and you are better off without her
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 85
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:15:38 AM

is there a tasteful way of bringing this subject up without coming across like a cheapskate?


dead on...it will come across as tacky no matter what. Women will come to one of two ideas...
1. Your cheap
2. Your broke

I was once told by a women "I dont need money spent on me to have a good time, im not that type of girl, I just want a guy to suprise me on a date..you know..something different"...

I took her to the batting cages on a first "date". I left her two messages after the date..nothing. She finally sent me a text saying the following...."You honestly expect a women to call you back after taking her to batting cages on a first date?"...I give up...

 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 86
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:33:35 AM

I took her to the batting cages on a first "date". I left her two messages after the date..nothing. She finally sent me a text saying the following...."You honestly expect a women to call you back after taking her to batting cages on a first date?"...I give up....


Did she ever mention that she liked playing baseball? I enjoy the sport, but can't play for $hit so if someone put me on the spot like that I wouldn't be too thrilled either-lol
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 87
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:37:48 AM

I took her to the batting cages on a first "date". I left her two messages after the date..nothing. She finally sent me a text saying the following...."You honestly expect a women to call you back after taking her to batting cages on a first date?"...I give up....


I would have laughed my ass off, tried my best to out do you...then took you out for icecream
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 88
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 8:50:26 AM
Did she ever mention that she liked playing baseball? I enjoy the sport, but can't play for $hit so if someone put me on the spot like that I wouldn't be too thrilled either-


she told me she was bored of men who come up with just "dinner" she said she wanted to be "suprised" (her exact words)...so with that said I took her to the batting cages. I will admit I love the batting cages, I have played baseball and softball all my life. She struggled with hitting the ball, was trying to teach her, we had fun(at least I thought)

What she should have said was ...."go ahead and make plans, suprise me, but make sure you read my mind and make sure I like it"
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 89
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 9:08:14 AM

she told me she was bored of men who come up with just "dinner" she said she wanted to be "suprised" (her exact words)...so with that said I took her to the batting cages. I will admit I love the batting cages, I have played baseball and softball all my life. She struggled with hitting the ball, was trying to teach her, we had fun(at least I thought)

What she should have said was ...."go ahead and make plans, suprise me, but make sure you read my mind and make sure I like it" .


Well, you chose something that YOU enjoyed. You didn't take into account something that she might enjoy....maybe skating, a picnic in the park, a drive in movie...

Meh, at least YOU got some ball practice...although she probably felt like a fool trying to hit the ball...
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 90
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 9:19:12 AM

You didn't take into account something that she might


This is my whole point. Suprise me..... as long as its something that I like. She didnt phrase it that way, her whole point was she was sick of boring guys who just take her to dinner...she wanted something different...

off topic...agree to disagree Tracy...
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 91
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 10:53:08 AM
scd,

Just curious, how long do you pay for a women before realizing one of two things...

1. She wants to be with you long term
2. She is just getting free dinners

If your stance is to always pay for a women, and stop being cheap, when does it stop? If im dating a woman for about a month and im always paying is it cheap for me to ask where its going?...and she says..."we are just dating, dont want to rush anything"...so...do I keep on paying while she goes out with other men paying for her, and I date other women and also pay for them?...

Not trying to bash you, if that is your theory, so be it. I am just saying for a "normal" guy making a "normal" paycheck it gets expensive. I am just saying it would be nice to have a women offer to pay the tip, or at the very least offer to cook me dinner or something....

If by the 4th or 5th date she is doing niether, its a turn off to me. If that is being cheap so be it. I think it is being smart on my part...

there was a women who posted she wont offer anything for two months. Fine, so be it. If I go out with a women for two months and I pay for everything and she is doing nothing money wise and after two months she decides she doesnt like me anymore, all she has invested is her time, while I invested my time AND my checkbook...again, if that is being cheap...so be it...
 MsStackhouse
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 92
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 11:19:34 AM

Just curious, how long do you pay for a women before realizing one of two things...

1. She wants to be with you long term
2. She is just getting free dinners
.


I don't care how hungry I am, I could never use someone for a free dinner....
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 96
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:08:14 PM
Perhaps she doesn't want to pay for a date with a man who refers to her as a "chic"??

I always insist on going dutch for the first date...after that I prefer the "every other date" rule of paying.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 97
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:44:22 PM
Money matters in dating when it involves the big picture. Look, I dont know what kind of guy Donald Trump is, nor do I know if he is very romantic, but I am willing to guess he wouldnt be landing hot supermodels if he was a manager at walmart...just a guess on my part though...

Im sure there isnt a guy alive that hasnt been taken for a couple free dinners in there time. Just as much as there isnt men that have gone out on "dates" to bars with females and get all there drinks paid for...it happens.

Which is why I go back to my original point of if I take a women out more than 4 or 5 times and she has not at the very least offered to take care of the tip...its a turnoff..
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 98
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 1:45:59 PM
I only read the original OP...not everything that came after it.
But I would say you should dump her.
You obviously don't like her if you're referring to her
as this chic. The fact she's not paying for anything is just
a sidebar and apparently you're not enough of a jock to
just talk to her about it.
It's either a match made in heaven or hell...your choice.

I just thought of something else I noticed in one of the posts.
Do guys seriously think women go out with guys they don't
fancy just for a free meal? Really? I'm sorry...can't think of
any food I like that much that would be worth that little.

 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 99
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 2:52:50 PM

Do guys seriously think women go out with guys they don't
fancy just for a free meal? Really?


yes it happens. It happens all the time.

Im pretty sure there are guys that sleep with women they dont fancy cause its a piece of tail...

same difference...
 brownize123
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 101
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 3:38:48 PM
What has happened to the men these days???? If you want to date a woman you should be prepared to do the paying. When should you ask her to start paying NEVER!! Come on now, have woman gotten so desperate to date a man that she is willing to do this? Maybe if men continued being men then maybe they would find a woman who would reciprocate by cooking a meal, treating with tickets etc. But, to actually think that a woman should pay on a date, you got to be kidding. If you can't afford to be going out all the time then think of other things to do together. Don't you men want the respect of being the man???? All you woman who are going along with this way of dating can make up all the excuses I've read about being your own person, not owing a man anything etc. But if a man really wants your company he would find a way to do it. That's called dating. (not friends paying their own way)
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 103
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 3:52:33 PM

If you want to date a woman you should be prepared to do the paying.


We are prepared. Your ranting and yelling over nothing.


When should you ask her to start paying NEVER!!


never huh?...well gee, thats very easy for you to say since you feel like you shouldnt pay ever.

So if your dating mulitple men, and you cant decide which one you want to be with, you feel like they should just keep on paying for you till you decide which one you want to be with?...sweet deal if you ask me...


But, to actually think that a woman should pay on a date, you got to be kidding.


no one is suggesting that. We are suggesting that after a few dates you should help out in the dating finances if your somewhat serious about us. If your not sure about us, then we fall into the friend zone, then you should pay half your way anyway...


But if a man really wants your company he would find a way to do it.


again, very easy to yell from the rooftops..."You should pay!!!, you need to find a way!!!....when you dont feel the need to pay for anything...

We cant afford to take you out for months and months and pay for everything while you decide to make up your mind with us.


That's called dating.


so according to your theory as long as its "dating" then men should always pay?....wow sign me up for that...so your telling me that if I date a women for lets just say 6 months, I should take on all the financial burdon because thats "what a man does"..really?...

I will say it again...if I take out a women more than 4 or 5 times I will pay and NOT have a problem with it. If after that she isnt offering to take me out, or cooking dinner, or even so much wanting to buy me a 4 dollar coffee at starbucks....see ya...
 brownize123
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 104
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 4:11:53 PM
I guess when someone doesn't agree it's called ranting and raving which I wasn't doing.

I did say that a woman should cook a meal or pay for tickets if you would have read what I wrote. I never said she should not do anything in the relationship.

Also, a man paying on dates does not make a woman an escort or hooker.

This is so comical.
 brownize123
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 107
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 5:27:29 PM
You have to give a little and paying for a date is not the end of the world.


If a man asked me out on a date and wanted me to pay, I would not call that a date.

If he is paying a small fortune on the dates, and it's building resentment, then he should be chosing dates within his means and enjoying your company. Like I said before there will be times I do treat too, but not on a date that he asked me on.

I wouldn't be enjoying his company if resentment was growing.

I've been lucky to never have come across this circumstance, that a man expects this from me, for instance, even running into the store for groceries we wanted he would not let me pay. Spoiled NO, treated like a lady, special and cared for, YES. They were respected and treated the same, special and cared for.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 108
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 5:49:38 PM

Don't you men want the respect of being the man?

if yours has to be purchased, i don't want it.

You have to give a little and paying for a date is not the end of the world.

the same argument can be applied to sex. do you want to make that tradeoff? consider a blowjob the coin with which you buy my respect? didn't think so.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 111
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/23/2009 7:43:01 PM
I do it upfront by saying we're "equal" and I'm a gentleman to MY lady. Until a woman is My lady, she's a lady and just as much of a person and me. We can split costs, take turns or whatever, but special treatment goes to the "special woman" in my life a.k.a. my GF.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 112
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:13:46 AM

yes it happens. It happens all the time.

Im pretty sure there are guys that sleep with women they dont fancy cause its a piece of tail...


Really? There are restaurants that let you eat with the lights out
and a bag over your head?



 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 114
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/24/2009 3:28:46 PM
Tonight she wanted to meet up just for coffee, so I meet her at the coffee shop, we order our drinks, and I'm thinking because she invited me out that she would offer to pay....but no, she just stood there staring into space. I didn't want to cause a scene there and tell her to pay, but this is just now getting ridiculous...So should I have a talk with her and tell her she needs to start paying when we go out?
Dude, you set a bad precedent. You had your opening to have this discussion. You coulda said right there at the coffee shop "hon, isn't it standard etiquette for the inviter to pay for invitee?" Then either she modifies her behavior and pays for the date, or you have to make an executive decision on whether or not you want to continue to date a woman who seems to be either looking for a mealticket, is mentally stuck in the 50s, or is simply clueless and rude.

Now let's say you get past this hurdle, and she seems to be unwilling to come up with date ideas. Now you keep the dates simple and completely within your own financial comfort zone. If she's seeking largesse or looking for a mealticket, she'll break up with you. Best to find out early on if someone is looking for a reciprocal, equal relationship or one that is clearly tipped in their favor.

I have noticed with the responses to this thread that it is the men that are under 40 that think a women should split the cost. The men over 40 think the man should pay most of the time.
I'm 42 and I think whoever invites pays. It's common etiquette. The man winds up paying because the woman rarely initates any date ideas. That's the way it is if a man volunteers to date a woman who rolls her eyes in her head when asked "what would you like to do tonight?"

Well without the traditional courtship you can pretty much kiss goodbye the title of 'man of the house' or 'who wears the pants' etc. You can't have it both ways.
But you can date a open-minded, modern, reciprocating woman who looks GREAT in a pair of well-fitted jeans.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 115
How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:13:05 PM
Somebody was ****ing about LA women always expecting the man to pay...please don't paint us ALL with the same brush. On a first meet up, I always open my wallet to offer up my share of the bill whether it's a drink or dinner. Then again, since I'm learning that it seems to be an LA thing, may be I should play the game. ;) Just kidding.
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