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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 163
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
A big picture way to look at this:

Marriage is a human creation. More than that, it's a creation on the part of CIVILISED humans. By that, I mean that it is, and has always been more of a social contract with your entire village or neighborhood than it has been a natural, spiritual and emotional link-up.

Long before people started living in large groups and creating governments, they still linked up, had sex, and raised kids, and lived together. We don't know much in detail about this, but we can be certain that what we call marriage today, did not always exist.

With this view, I can easily see that if all of the financial and governmental aspects of marriage are removed, that people will most likely revert to the ancient ways, and simply live together when it is something they want to do.

From this viewpoint, the number of divorces has nothing at all to do with whether or not marriage continues to be a common choice.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 164
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 1/25/2012 9:09:29 AM
a 'Life' sentence in jail is really only about 7 years
why do you expect it to be any longer in the marriage venue
it is the same pedantics perpetuated by the American Legal system.
get out of America - it all changes.

Ie you bring a divorce suit in Moldova that is unfounded (ie no infidelity, no abuse, no fraud ) and the LAWYER gets fined as well as the plantiff. Funny, there is not alot of divorce in Moldova
 Leib ben Yitshak
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 165
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:46:26 AM
This question CAN NOT BE ANSWERED AS STATED. In fact, according to the 2010 Census Bureau reports and the AARP journal the divorce rate among people younger than 45 is on the decline whereas the divorce rate among those over 45 is increasing.
The question must be asked why is there a difference between us old fogies and you youngsters.
 Luke_Mason
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 166
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:21:04 AM
I did find it interesting that non-Christian marriages are around 60% for divorce, while active conservative Protestants that led to divorce is only 35%.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700112586/Christian-divorce-rates-disputed.html

From a Christian perspective as noted in the Bible, both men and women have to be TAUGHT to love their spouse. Unfortunately the average family or secular society does not teach children or adults HOW to love. If the God of the Bible is the very personification of LOVE, and he directed that people have to actually be taught how to love, it's not hard to see why those who are not taught what love is, and how to love, end their marriages in divorce.

Just my opinion but I have a feeling the majority of the 35% Christian marriages ended when one or both partners decided to stop serving Christ. Unless people are taught what genuine love is, and how to love, outside of what the media and Hollywood teaches the divorce rate will probably only get worse. The epitome of a non-Christians life is selfishness, trying to make a marriage work when none of them have any idea what love is would be a miracle indeed.
 Stevieno
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 168
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:33:28 AM
I was married for 22 years. I thought It would be forever. Yes I am a man and I truly wanted to be one of those married couples that celebrated their 50th anniversary. But that all went away a year and a half ago. Marriage is wonderful If you have someone who sees eye to eye with you and has the same beliefs . I want someone to grow old with and travel the world with. I want the same woman in my bed every night. Intimacy never goes out of style. My divorce wasn't because the flame or intimacy went away it was other reasons. We didn't see eye to eye and I didn't know that until it was too late. I will get to know my next best friend and I will communicate and (YES) listen more than I did before. Yes men!!! we don't know how to listen. I learned my lesson and I will work harder, love harder and yes listen harder. I loved having my best friend around all the time. Marriage is great if you can handle being with One person for the rest of your life, if not then just date...Dating is wonderful and you have to do it to find that special someone. It takes time to find that special person. Time, conversation, listening, loving and living. Good luck..steve
 JoseMadre
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 169
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/19/2012 11:36:07 AM
If marriage were on the way out there would be fewer divorces because almost no one would be getting married.
 starlight334
Joined: 6/18/2010
Msg: 170
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/19/2012 9:51:53 PM
I knew when I was a kid that I don't want to get married. I don't think I will ever.
It has nothing to do with love, friendship, partner. Seems that is more of a way of extorsion of feelings, time, attention, ones life. Marriage is more like a pressure to "get you now" and if later you don't want me anymore you need to pay...you will be punished potentially. AND..let's involve society into it also. What a BS !. Friendships require sacrifices at the right time in life. Marriage does not mean anything to me other then trouble. People should do together things that they have in common and not what it differentiates them.
If I don't like hockey don't force me to watch hockey. If I am not hungry please don't ask me to eat. Also don't insist please. These little things screw up relationships big time.
 Leib ben Yitshak
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 172
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/29/2012 3:11:28 PM
Please forgive what I'm about to say. In asking if marriage is on the way out you are asking a vague question. Dissolution of marriage is on the decline for those under 45 and on the increase for those over 45. Futher, it is on the decline for some groups of people regardless of age and in the increase for others.
You need to un-vague the question if you wish to get a reliable response from your audience.
Leib
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 173
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/29/2012 3:49:28 PM
People don't take their vows seriously when it comes to marriage these days. So quick to pull the trigger on divorce so little time in seriously getting to know and understand each other. Marriage shouldn't feel like a prison, if it does then you shouldn't have married.

Maleman999 smh wow. So how's divorce life treating ya? found any decent females yet, with that shitty attitude you got a long way to go.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 174
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 3/29/2012 4:21:44 PM

marriages dont seem to last very long these days, thats if your married at all and not just living together, which used to be known in my younger day as living in sin.

does this mean that marriage ( by this i mean forever) is on the way out.


Don't blame marriage; blame the cheaters and liars that ruin marriages.

Morals and character are so bad for so many. I knew a person who married a lawyer. she was faithful. Well in 3 years she caught him cheating. Found out he had a kid with someone last year.

His answer? "Honey, dont' be mad; everything happens for a reason". NO Everything happens because of your choices.

She asked him if he was sorry and he said he has no regrets in life. mmm

Those 2 statements are what some people live by. No accountability; no responsibility, no conscious.

Half of people in relationships are cheating. Don't blame the relationship; blame the people ruining them.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 176
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/1/2012 6:57:49 PM
yeah, well, like, where are we all learnin all this shit from?

you know, like;
I have no regrets
do what makes you happy [how come no one IS then?]
etc...
 Krissie59
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 177
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/1/2012 7:57:19 PM
One of the reasons why marraiges have been allowed to be devalued is because lawyers need a paycheck too, okay? If you divorce someone every 6 mos..that's money in the bank for them! Not to mention the therapists, courts etc etc.
 GatesMW50B
Joined: 4/6/2011
Msg: 178
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/1/2012 9:47:18 PM
Someone earlier said"If I ever get 'married' again - this is it. I think I'm going for the 5 year installment contract".

Somewhere I read that in Mexico you can get married for a 3 year period and then the marriage legally dissolves. Maybe we need that here.
 7nylcim
Joined: 5/5/2011
Msg: 179
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:13:19 AM
In todays world of instant gradification and little commitment it does'nt seem there are many people that believe marriage vows mean forever anymore. When I said my vows I dont remember anything about honoring my wife for as long as i coud stand it, but I may have missed something because my wife obviously heard exactly that.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 180
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:37:14 AM
People grow apart over time and most are working couples so why continue the misery?

Been there and done it!
 Leib ben Yitshak
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 181
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 4:51:17 PM
While it is true that the number of divorces is half the number of marriages cmparing the number of marriages with the number of divorces has no meaning. It is used by the naive and who have something to gain to convince us that we are immoral and that things need to be changed and they are the ones that can change them.. If we want to project the possibility of a divorce we should compare the number of married couples in the United States with the number of divorces. In 2000 there were about 55 million married people and only 1.157 divorces - about 2%, not 50%. (Statistical abstract of the United States)
 Myprofileisme
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 182
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:10:19 PM
Divorce is acceptable where years ago it wasn't. Also, money. Many women today work so they aren't reliant upon their husband to have a roof over their head. I don't believe marriage is on the way out, though.
 1womanman33
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 183
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 5:11:10 PM
As with most everything else discussed on these forums, the truth lies somewhere between the extremes. Face it, divorce was taboo and frowned up from a time and place where women couldn't vote, black people were treated less than (bad example...lol), and people used leeches to treat headaches! I mean, as we evolve and opportunity expands for all people, so too do the options for those who receive it. Where women were once locked into marriage due to a lack of prospects to support themselves into adulthood, now...while still not on equal footing...they obviously are able to provide for themselves infinitely better than in days gone by.

In addition, or perhaps because of this...the idea of commitment is not as all encompassing as before. Sometimes though, I wonder how much 'better' these days were. I've heard stories from elderly women like my paternal grandmother to my best friend's grandmother...and they endured more so than they thrived. Part of me wonders why you should be obligated to remain in a situation you are unhappy with. Who you are at 22 is not who you're going to be at 37 or 42. On the flip side, I do agree that too many people take the specter of marriage lightly and fail to understand what the vows they are entering into mean. Again...somewhere in the middle.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 184
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/2/2012 11:31:48 PM
easy; there are so many divorces because our society has less morals and character.

Many more people cheat and lie and they "live with no regrets" so they have no conscious when they hurt someone else. I knew one friend who's slimeball lawyer husband had several affairs and one ended up with her having a kid.

His reaction to her,"honey, everything happens for a reason".

We have a society of insensitive narcissists who care more about getting off than doing the right thing.

If you are a cheater and/or a liar; dont get married. Sleep around all you want.
 blondiein2012
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 185
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/3/2012 8:36:33 AM
I think conventional marriage is going the way of the do do bird. It is a social construct that is failing to meet the needs of the individuals who engage in it and the greater society in which it is happening.

We live in a world of options so expecting most people to choose only one is probably not very realistic.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 186
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/4/2012 12:52:40 AM
I have to add to jmark4 list of non-quaulified to get married: a selfish person (but most don't think they are) because it will never be we-us-ours. H/She will always thinking in his/her head....it's me, my thing, my way, and my happiness! Anyone wants to take on this notion?
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 187
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:42:02 AM

If we want to project the possibility of a divorce we should compare the number of married couples in the United States with the number of divorces. In 2000 there were about 55 million married people and only 1.157 divorces - about 2%, not 50%. (Statistical abstract of the United States)


I think you need a course in statistics especially sampling methods.
 graytemplesandeyes
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 188
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:02:15 AM
Marriage is the creation of God. So long as there are those who love Him and seek Him then marriage will continue as the most important institution of any culture. But culture has impact on the details.

The wider the variance between His prescribed details and those of the culture, the less successful marriages as a group will be. It is still the best environment for children to be nurtured and reared. And whether some, even the majority of people disagree with that, it is no less true.

Divorce is culturally easier. When I was a kid, you had to have a reason to divorce, now you don't. And just one person of the couple can do it, and the result can't be legally stopped.

A lot of truth has been written just in this page of the thread. That women are less in need of their men is a factor. That lawyers have changed the rules, to make it easier in order for more lawyers to earn a living is a factor. The general lack of commitment is a factor. That fewer people believe in God generally or find value in doing things his way, is a factor.

But marriage will not become extinct, like the dodo bird. And historically, when variances become temporarily popular, somebody figures out that God's way actually works, and some will make that way more culturally common, just for common sense sake. Married men and women live longer and better.

Wise people figure that out and make the sacrifices necessary to keep their going if it's possible.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 189
marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:34:23 AM

Marriage is the creation of God.


Marriage is a man made institution nothing else and nothing more. If you are one of those bible thumpers you will try to make something else of it. Church law means nothing in the court room so get over it.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 190
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marriage on the way out?? if not why are there so many divorces?
Posted: 4/14/2012 11:05:35 PM
if not why are there so many divorces?


because we want, and we want, and we want, and we want..............................................................and we want.

the wrong things.
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