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Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 56
How do YOU stop loving someonePage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
May I suggest the following, it worked for me:
2lbs. Hershey's chocolate kisses
Ample quantities of the adult beverage of your choice
1 weekend and the following movies; Casablanca, An Affair to Remember, Love Actually, and Bridges of Madison County.

Mix thoroughly and repeat as needed.
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 57
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:44:55 AM
The correct form of the possessive is "Your" as in "Your village", but you are correct about "you're".
Used in a sentence, they would go like this, "You're an idiot, so pull your head out of your azz."
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 58
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:52:25 AM

And the correct contraction for "You are" is "You're" and not Your....

Piquancy, you've (you have) proven your ignorance once again.

Go back to your village, they must be missing you!!
This was written correctly. According to you, it should read, "Go back to you are village, they must be missing you!!" Some people like to show their stupidity by pointing out things they know nothing about. Good job proving you really are...what was that term...oh yeah, an idiot.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 59
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How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 6:53:52 AM
You put one foot in front of the other, remember the relationship for what it was, and recognize that even if the other party left, they did you a favor because you are now able to find the right person for you.

It just takes time, there isn't a way to rush it or move it along a little bit faster. Breaking up presents a grieving issue and until someone has gone through all it's phases, it is highly likely that the love is still there and if someone is healthy, that love in some form should never be totally extinguished from the standpoint of hoping that person is able to find happiness as well.

There is a line in Diary of a Mad Black Woman that was funny but also a little nugget of wisdom. If you have/had the opportunity to do someone harm and you ignored it, you are over them. Think of it in terms of that, when you have gotten past the point of doing a little revenge thinking, you have successfully pushed the get over it button.

Also the whole focusing on what they did to you, not productive beyond remembering that the person they were when you broke up is someone you don't want in your life. Lamenting how they could have done you so wrong will leave you sitting and spinning for a long time. How and why it ended doesn't matter beyond learning what you might have done differently so you approach the next relationship in a good frame of mind.
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 60
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 7:20:16 AM
u gotta have meaningless sex. then you will feel even more empty!
and 4 those that say grow a set, u've never felt true love.
time heals all wounds. thats it. for me, anyway. take time from dating, a long time. cuz whoever u meet will pale in comparison, and its not fair to either of u. love is a chemical reaction anyway. with a long half-life. let it work its way out.
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 65
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How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 8:07:16 AM
You go through all the phases of grief until YOU decide that your happiness, sanity and well-being outweigh your desire for the other person, to hold onto a mere memory is saying that you are not worth as much as it is.
Joined: 12/10/2007
Msg: 66
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How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 8:30:07 AM
OP, I agree with you that the love for the person does not have to go away. It's not archaic or old fashioned to feel what you feel. I'm alot like you, the love for my ex has not gone away, but it changed once I went through all the grieving stages.

My ex and I are on civil terms. The best part of our relationship is we had two beautiful daughters together. I would not call her a friend, but I would do anything within reason to help her out. Changing the way I felt about my ex allowed me to move on and find love again.

Everyone is different and relationships run their course. All have ups and downs. Some people can actually turn off their feelings and say a relationship has ended. But I believe it just changes and continues--sometimes as just as a memory, but the realtionship is still there. Just remember, take the advice what works for you and keep on healing.
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 70
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How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 8:57:08 AM

In Msg.64 I made two edits after you felt obliged to point those out. ( Two is hardly the same as several.)
BIG DEAL!! It really doesnt matter . I am not going to deny that I used the edit option.

Life is way to short to snake through these silly forums pointing out grammar errors. Not to mention to give out ridiculous advice to someone who might be feeling a bit vulnerable.
Are you missing something from your life, that you feel the need to do this?
Is this your desperate cry for attention that you crave so much?
Perhaps you might consider getting yourself a positive hobby.

Now that I have defended my integrity and admitted that Yes! I did indeed use the edit option (TWICE) is time for us to return to the topic of this thread and you can go back to where ever you came from.

Have a nice day!
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 72
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:14:47 AM
I haven't seen this many sexually frustrated people in one place since the last Star Trek convention
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 73
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 9:25:28 AM
start loving yourself. nobody is worth wasting your time or energy.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 74
view profile
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 10:13:37 AM
Start HATING them (or becoming angry when you think of them). Guaranteed cure for loving them.

Then, realize you don't like feeling angry or hating. That will help you forget them.

Then, focus your love on something else. That will COMPLETELY clear the old person out of your mind and heart.
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 75
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 11:26:33 AM

I haven't seen this many sexually frustrated people in one place since the last Star Trek convention

What does sexual frustration have to do with loving someone and trying to get over them? Geesh, some people have absolutely no comprehension.
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 76
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 11/24/2009 11:32:12 AM
I do not focus on him at all. I do other fun things and it works for me! I'll go out to eat, to a fest, a POF party, anything.

If he won't give me the time of day, it's time to go. I won't be on the back burner while he decides who he wants to be with.

Then I go to work where I realize there are plenty of my adoring fans. Just walk down hallway H and the laundry guy and maintenance guys get all riled up.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 79
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/19/2009 7:55:27 PM
In the words of my Nephew (wise beyond his years ~8)
Get another booger.... you never miss the last booger when you have a new one on your finger.

Telling, out of the mouths of babes.
And really, why would you spend all your time missing a booger?
Chances are there is another booger just around the corner ;)
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 83
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 7:44:11 AM
I hope I am posting and not sending one message to one person....still learning how to participate on these websites....I read something interesting in the book "Why Good People Do Bad Things"...she said she had a patient that couldn't get over this one guy she had broken up with and it was frustrating to counsel her on it because she couldn't get the woman to see that it was "her passion"

Hmmm, food for thought. "Her passion" that really made me think about what it is in myself that has me clinging on. That helped me alot to view it from that perspective.
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 84
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:12:23 AM
I just ask myself why I'd want to be with someone who does not want to be with me ....
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 86
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:02:11 PM
First i mourn the loss..then i get pissed.. then I work out, get in shape and Do things that make me feel great about myself.

Living well is the best revenge

Im in the mourning phase myself right now. My biggest fear is to run into him while he is with a bar ho. Ugh.. has happened and it was like fresh pain all over again.
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 87
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:05:31 PM
I move on. If he left he never really loved me to begin with. I do figure it's their loss. Lots of times especially with dating sites they don't give a relationship to grow before they start chatting up someone else--figure grass is greener elsewhere.
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 88
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 1:07:07 PM
You don't stop loving someone, but the feelings do fade. I was with my ex husband for 16 years and even though we both wanted a divorce-it still hurt both of us very much to go through it. Now almost 4 years later, I don't feel as strongly about him as I once did. I still love some things about him, but I'm kinda glad to be rid of him!
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 89
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:04:17 PM

If you really love someone. Not the friend type of love...but the man/woman, till death do us part type of love. But that person leaves.

How do you stop those feelings of love so that you can go on?

Do you focus on what wrong they did to you before they left? Do you just figure it is their loss and you push your feelings aside without further thought? What....

What do you do?

The feelings never stop. They will always be there, always.

Actually, I always blame myself for the feelings. It was my choice to love this person to put all the energy I had into this person I love so much. It's never their fault, it's mine for loving them in the first place. Of course the other person makes mistakes as well but I can't grow from focusing on what he did wrong. I have to focus on what I did wrong, and what I can do to change that.

I am trying to find other outlets for all this energy and love that I have for this person in different directions. I've decided to start volunteering, I've been looking into schools and doing some independent studies.

However, he's always in the back of my mind and has been for years. When you truly love someone you can't just put the breaks on that you just have to accept the reality of the situation and focus on you.
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 90
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How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 2:46:21 PM
Real [i/] love never stops because it is selfless.
You can still love someone without feeling attached or needing them. If there is neediness, it is not the true love. The emptiness we feel after a break-up is a subtle form of negative desire & can overwhelm if we indulge it too much.
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 92
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 7:12:00 PM
I totally stopped loving my ex husband.. he was evil..

i am free.. amen

but.. recent guy.. ive got some time on my hands to rid myself of him.
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 98
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:18:21 PM
'...The best feeling you will ever experience ...and the worst pain you can ever suffer through...!!'
~Aint it the Truth...!!!~
Mine didn't just 'leave'.....she Passed...!!!
I'll _Never_ stop loving her, but I want to fulfill a promise to her ...
'...To find someone new to strongly, and as well as you have loved Me...! '
* The search Continues *
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 99
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:44:51 PM
I don't think you can ever stop loving someone for whatever reasons, you just find ways to go on living without them...
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 106
How do YOU stop loving someone
Posted: 12/28/2009 11:54:53 AM
Well, first off. Remove all pictures, emails, numbers and when you start to think about them think about something that makes you happy. It's very hard and i just did it about 3 months ago. We were together for 10 years. Other than that, just time.
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