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 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 101
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ED over 45Page 5 of 36    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36)
You know, if testosterone is too low, the guy won't be thinking about women 24/7, so may never really notice he has a problem.

Psychological reasons in later age? How about finding themselves divorced and financially crushed? How about having to visit your own kids in what used to be your home? How about coming to the realization that your "career" has peaked and you are on your way out rather than up? How about any of the many middle age crisis things that hit us all? What amazes me is that any of us can plow ahead at all!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 102
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 2:40:24 PM

Rear, I think most people are capable of deep emotional connections UNTIL they get hurt once..

That's an ambiguous conclusion, at best. I don't think it's logical to presume someone who has never been hurt has the ability to gain a deep emotional connection over someone who has been hurt.


that is why some think that a man with ED isnt worth getting to know

I agree, somewhat. When peope gauge their association with another person based on sexual performance, I sincerely challenge anyone to claim the relationship is a deep emotional relationship. I say that because, if the man suddenly has a problem and is diagnosed with ED, that emotional connection will weaken rapidly and the woman will leave for another person who can get an erection.


I am not a man but I have certainly read on the subject

I always chuckle at those who read an article(s) and they've become instant know-it-alls. Why do we need Doctor appointments if we can read? Doctors must be stupid if they have to take 10 years of schooling to learn what some people can read in a half hour. (sarcasm)


Just curious as to why they have developed psychological reasons as they aged?

Maybe because of threads like this? Maybe because those who chose the cougar lifestyle (possibly an exwife) have to openly belittle men (and/or ex husband) as they age, just so they can justify being what they are? Maybe he had a whore for a wife?

I know of a wife who openly talks about her husband's small penis. This woman knows a lot of "regulars" at one particular bar she frequents without her husband. This woman also does a lot of "Weekend shopping trips" out of town.

It doesn't take much to beat down someone's self esteem..... some spouses (both genders) are very good at that. Yet, they can't understand why the other spouse (victim) "has issues."
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 103
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 3:14:52 PM
Emotionally I won't handle a man with Ed making me a victim especially before we even get to dating.

Hello, I don't think any here said they would walk away from a relationship where ED developed. There is a huge difference between a long term relationship where Ed became a problem, and a man we haven't even dated yet.

I am getting a little tired of reading that women are bad/not nice if they won't taken on a problem, and that she has not emotional depth, and only is capable of fking. It is especially bad when other women try to score brownie points by going on about women who won't accept a lack of a normal sexually life in a relationship before even getting involved.

FAL you crack me up. Rock on
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 104
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 3:37:22 PM

I agree, somewhat. When peope gauge their association with another person based on sexual performance, I sincerely challenge anyone to claim the relationship is a deep emotional relationship. I say that because, if the man suddenly has a problem and is diagnosed with ED, that emotional connection will weaken rapidly and the woman will leave for another person who can get an erection.


This is the number one reason listed why men leave women.. Just heard that on a show I was watching while cooking dinner. Women on the other hand can live without it much easier and have for long periods of time.

I think that a lot of women that have waited a number of years to have a relationship would like to think they have a few good years before getting hit with ED? The OP is only in her late 40's if my memory serves me correctly and most certainly is entitled to want what she wants.. The same way men are entitled to want what they do.. Be it looks, age, performance level or whatever.

thecatsmeoww
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 105
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:35:12 PM
"Maybe because of threads like this? Maybe because those who chose the cougar lifestyle (possibly an exwife) have to openly belittle men (and/or ex husband) as they age, just so they can justify being what they are? Maybe he had a whore for a wife?

I know of a wife who openly talks about her husband's small penis. This woman knows a lot of "regulars" at one particular bar she frequents without her husband. This woman also does a lot of "Weekend shopping trips" out of town.

It doesn't take much to beat down someone's self esteem..... some spouses (both genders) are very good at that. Yet, they can't understand why the other spouse (victim) "has issues."

Hello Myself, and many women like me didn't do that to our husbands. Why should be have to suffer for the sins of what you let yourself live through with your spouse, and now you claim is the cause of your ED.

Part of my reasoning for not wanting to get involved with someone who has ED, is because they still haven't healed from their past. Not here to fix your head .... either one of them................that is your job. I feel the same way about any women who doesn't want to have sex with a new man because of what her ex did to her.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 106
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:37:16 PM
There is a joke about why women gain so much weight after they get married...

a single girl comes home opens up the fridge...see whats inside and thinks nothing worth eating and then goes to bed....

a married woman comes home and looks in the bed...and then goes to the fridge to find something to eat :P


Some are capable of emotional connections...others arent...it doesnt make one group better than another...that wasnt what I was implying.

.what I was trying to get people to realize is not to give up and not think that cause one or two posters (or more) wont be interested in you..there are more who will.
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 107
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:37:53 PM
and is this the example people over 45 want to exude to the younger set?? Come on folks, there is a topic/subject line here.

as much as I fail to understand the mentality that goes with the subject here, some men DO experience differing degrees of dysfunction, some of it physical, some of it phsycological, and, in some cases, a combination of both. Some of the responses to such a delicate matter are NOT flattering, and not healthy for self esteem.

This is not a problem I have ever encountered personally. Having been a body builder for quite a few years, and a jock most of my life, I have always been in very good shape. My job/work today is physically demanding, and I think that has kept me reasonably healthy, both emotionally and physically.

Staying in shape can help prolong ED to some degree, eating healthy also helps. The only thing I have to say to any man that experiences this problem is, PLEASE seek help. It is treatable, and it's not the end of the world. Find people who understand and show support, compassion, and empathy if possible. Doesn't look like you'll find it here in these threads.

Godbless.!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 108
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:48:44 PM
Profile hidden only from search, not the forums...
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 109
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 4:52:41 PM
Goodness! I think we should all meet at a mud wrestling place and finally have it out with this man vs woman thing. Real mud slinging! And think of the money we can split selling tickets!

^^^damn..couldn't fix my earlier reply to your post rearguard^^^^

Why, its likely to be so exciting it will provoke an erection!!!!

I know, I know!!!
Yah, this would be a great test to see who can get it up and who can't!
~no?...nevermind.........~
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 110
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 5:43:12 PM
clockwork - msg 180

How the hell are you seeing my profile? It's supposed to be hidden.

There are actually two separate systems, that are linked together
1) main system with profiles, search, emails
2) forum

Both systems use the same password information, but the forum system utilizes the long-term cookie rather than the shorter term login. The image processor used for picture editing is yet another separate system/file server that is tied to the main system.

a) If you hide your profile and try to access it from within the main system, the hiding works as it should (logged in or logged off)
b) If you are logged off from the main system, you can still read the forum posts but can't see hidden profiles
c) if you are logged on in the main system, and click on poster's id in fora, you can see his/her profile

I don't know whether this is an intentional "design feature" or overlooked program bug, but that's how it works at the present.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 111
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 7:31:17 PM

Why do you constantly post this bs in the Over 45s forum, clockwork lime? Are you so powerless in real life that this is your only way of paying back perceived grudges and slights? Mock and insult strangers because of their age?

Unless my eyes are decieving me, as I ponder throught this thread and others, I don't think this kind of behaviour you speak of only exists with him... or his gender.


Between you and Pitbull and a couple of the others whose names fortunately escape me...wow. What a sad space your heads occupy

Just because some of you women word things in a nicer manner, that does not make some of you any better than these guys you speak of - or insult. I can almost predict what some of you women will post in these threads before you even post it..... that speaks of the space occupying the heads of others. *sigh*

On topic:
I'm not talking down about women's choices regarding ED and having to deal with it in a relationship. I do find it hypocritical that some women make posts in other threads claining that "size doesn't matter", "Sex isn't the end-all to a relationship" and "It's what's in the heart that matters, nothing else." Yet, they failed to mention above all of that rhetoric, "It also requires an erection."

If a woman is over weight men may have the same resistance to start a relationship because of her size. Yet, reading some of the posts in other threads, there are women in this thread who feel that isn't the way you judge a woman. However, if you think about some of the women's responses in this thread about ED.... it suggests a double standard.

My argument is: Barring women with medical conditions and other problems beyond their control (re: over weight), I think it is less acceptable for a woman to be overweight than it is for a man who has ED.

Is that a fair comparison?
 rmm426
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 112
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 7:35:26 PM
I am over 60 and date women from 40 to late 60s. When I hit 60 I began to notice during sexual experiences that I wasn't able to keep arousal after initial foreplay. Since I was an active athlete I contributed some of my problem to my training regimen.

I met a women in her 50s and we hit it off perfectly. She and I had a good romatic experience...except that I was having trouble keeping aroused. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed Cialis. When I need it I take 1/2 pill about 30 minutes before becoming intement. It works like a charm and that small dosage lasts for 3 to 4 days. If I wanted to I could keep an erection the whole night...although you know what the TV ad says about if the erection lasts more than four hours you may need help...First, if the erection really would last that long...I wouldn't call for help...I would call all the women I knew and let them know....and second to cool off I could put an ice pack on it and it would shrink up fast!
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 113
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 7:45:26 PM

My argument is: Barring women with medical conditions and other problems beyond their control (re: over weight), I think it is less acceptable for a woman to be overweight than it is for a man who has ED.
Is that a fair comparison?


Hmmm....let me see here.
So are you saying Fat Chicks = Limp D*cks
OR that
Limp D*cks are acceptable but Fat Chicks aren't.

 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 114
ED over 45
Posted: 11/26/2009 8:00:07 PM

Hmmm....let me see here.
So are you saying Fat Chicks = Limp D*cks
OR that
Limp D*cks are acceptable but Fat Chicks aren't.

I'm not "Saying" anything; I'm asking. Hence the question at the end of my post. Both are contentious issues. Why would one physical condition be of less concern than the other? Afterall, as we age we do gain more weight and that does interfere with sexual performance - which is the concern many women have.

I'm just asking if women's concerns about sexual performance should be considered more valid than a man's concern about sexual performance in a relationship?
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 115
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 2:38:07 AM

Some are capable of emotional connections...others arent...it doesnt make one group better than another...that wasnt what I was implying.

.what I was trying to get people to realize is not to give up and not think that cause one or two posters (or more) wont be interested in you..there are more who will.


Glad to hear that Sapphire.. I guess I misunderstood your post and having been very much in love with 2 younger men in my lifetime I took exception to it. If either of them had developed ED I would not have loved them any less.

As for posters interested in me I believe I only met two that have posted in the forums and both were very nice gentleman..One I see from time to time and is becoming a good friend and the other lives at some distance..

It is really nice to meet men that truly do like women..

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 116
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 2:50:47 AM

I met a women in her 50s and we hit it off perfectly. She and I had a good romatic experience...except that I was having trouble keeping aroused. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed Cialis. When I need it I take 1/2 pill about 30 minutes before becoming intement. It works like a charm and that small dosage lasts for 3 to 4 days.


Nice to hear you took the bull by the horns and did something about it. You took ownership of the problem and set about fixing it.. Unfortunately some men (how do I put this) do not want to take ownership let alone announce their problem to a medical professional who can possibly be of help to them..

Glad to hear you have not be in need of the ice pack afterall you might just get frost bite.

thecatsmeoww
 markdafedman
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 117
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 4:05:32 AM
Acoording to every woman under 40 I have talked to, men over 40 all have this issue. How their scientific minds have determined this, while not being able to park the minivan in a space the size of a football stadium is beyond me.

There is another factor here, and its atmosphere. Its a little difficult to stay focused when her Yorkie is climbing on the bed licking your balls, the kids are beating on the door asking for the car keys, and her text messages are coming in like rockets into Gaza! Add to that her constant yammering, and its little wonder ANYTHING happens in the bedroom.

Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't women the ones who want romance and atmosphere for love- making?
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 118
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 4:54:40 AM

There is another factor here, and its atmosphere. Its a little difficult to stay focused when her Yorkie is climbing on the bed licking your balls, the kids are beating on the door asking for the car keys, and her text messages are coming in like rockets into Gaza! Add to that her constant yammering, and its little wonder ANYTHING happens in the bedroom.

Correct me if I am wrong, but aren't women the ones who want romance and atmosphere for love- making?


Indeed women like candlelight and soft romantic music..

There should be no pets in the bed, children banging down the doors, or text messages coming in like rockets into Gaza.
Is there even a woman alive that can perform under these circumstances?

thecatsmeoww
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 119
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 7:26:09 AM

According to every woman under 40 I have talked to, men over 40 all have this issue."


Not in my experience.. As a matter of fact know men well in their 60's that have a very active sex life with their wife.. I chat with them in the gym from time to time. You see and all these couples keep themselves very buff.

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 120
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:15:29 AM
Hmmmm....let me see.....he keeps fit and in shape, she keeps fit and in shape, and the two of them have an active sex life.......

My goodness...what a concept! I really wonder why more people don't realize that! I mean, what woman would not want to have sex with a guy with a strong hard body? What man would not want to have sex with a woman with a strong lithe figure? And...they even love each other!!!!
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 121
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:21:02 AM

Hmmmm....let me see.....he keeps fit and in shape, she keeps fit and in shape, and the two of them have an active sex life.......

My goodness...what a concept! I really wonder why more people don't realize that! I mean, what woman would not want to have sex with a guy with a strong hard body? What man would not want to have sex with a woman with a strong lithe figure? And...they even love each other!!!!


Indeed they book their treadmill time one after the other.. Some of them were even college sweethearts..

thecatsmeoww
 Pfilly08
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 122
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 9:23:34 AM
Dear "Markdefedman",

LOLOLOLOLOLOL. . .

OMG! ROFL!

Hug and thanks for the laughter:)

Pfilly
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 123
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 1:08:24 PM
I have had some of this type of pain following indoor rugby sessions. Only thing to do is take aspirin or one of those anti-inflammatory medicines. Lots of exercise over quite some time appears to lessen the incidence, and "letting her do all the work" has some merits as well. The good news is that there is nothing mechanically wrong with the skeletal structure, but I too wonder about the prevalence of back issues as we get older.

I gave up using the trapeze a few years back as well......
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 124
ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 1:28:06 PM

The good news is that there is nothing mechanically wrong with the skeletal structure, but I too wonder about the prevalence of back issues as we get older.


Work on your core muscles and focus on doing some back extensions..

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 125
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ED over 45
Posted: 11/27/2009 1:31:21 PM

Work on your core muscles and focus on doing some back extensions..


Sound advice. But then again, perhaps its because I stopped using the trapeze!
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