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Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 376
eHarmony...STAY AWAY FROM THIS SITE!!!Page 7 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Boy, are you right about eharmony deciding who you're going to date and LIKE IT!! They refuse to match you with anyone who is outside of what they consider an appropriate age range for you. Well, I like to date younger men (younger than 50) and not much older than middle-60's. I also indicated that I wanted people within a 25-50 mile range, because more than that eliminates a lot of spontaneous dates. So, who do I get? Men in their 70's, men who live in northwestern Virginia, men who live somewhere in Maryland. Please! The couple of men who may have been ok never contacted me, we never met, big whoops. Eharmony is the biggest rip-off on here - oh, excuse me. Maybe is a close second.
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 377
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:24:44 PM
While I'm not very particular about height, I do like to be told the truth right off the bat. What I've found is that a lot of men on their profiles or these sites shade the truth about their vertical height. If they are legimately 6' or over, they're telling the truth. When I see 5' 11" or shorter, I automatically deduct two inches. I've never been wrong yet! I can't count the number of men I've met who said they were 5' 10", 5' 9", etc., and whe we meet, they turn out to be not much taller than I am, and I'm 5' 7". And, when I see "a few extra pounds", you can nearly always figure that they've got to lose twenty-five lbs or more. Not all; some have been totally honest and totally real in person. Yeah, yeah - I can feel the stones hitting me now. NO, I'm not perfect, but I don't misrepresent myself on my profiles. Maybe there are more women out there who are tired of meeting men who literally don't measure up in person, in many ways. I won't even get started on the poor hygiene guys I've run into!
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 381
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:08:50 PM
It’s interesting to read that so many people had negative experiences with eHarmony. I, for one, found it to be an awesome website, and I had way more success with it than I’ve ever had with Plenty of Fish. On eHarmony, I would get a ton of matches (average was about 5-10 a day) and of those women I messaged, I had a very good response rate (on eHarmony you go through several steps of communication before you can actually email each other freely—e.g. answering pre-developed questions about your interests, etc.). I was on the site for about 4 months and met some amazing women, went on several dates, and one even turned into a serious relationship (which is why I closed my account, no hassles from them).

Compare that to POF, of which I’ve been a member for about 3 years I believe, and have gone on…I believe one date in all that time, and that was years ago. POF has been, for the most part, a useless website for me. When I send messages out, it’s rare that I get a response, no matter what I write or whether my message is sincere, funny, or whatever. I’ve changed my profile and pictures a billion times; same result. My profile info, writing style, etc. were very similar for both sites, so I’m not sure why on one site I was successful, but not on the other. I found that, for the amount of time invested on both eHarmony and POF, I got way more value and return from eHarmony.

Neither site is perfect (I really don’t like how on eHarmony, they pick your matches for you, and you can’t do a search on your own), but I just wanted to let you folks know that there are some people who have actually had success with that site (though it sounds like it’s a rarity). In all honesty, I’ll probably re-join in the near future. There are lots of aspects about POF that I appreciate, which is why I’m still on here despite my lack of success thus far. So I guess I’ll keep plugging away! Good luck, everyone.
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 383
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:57:46 AM
Hello grog27
That was your first mistake by joining the 7 day trial,hopefully your last. When you go searching for those site be warned they will ask for you to have your credit card number, even for the 7 day trial. All those site are scams.

That is my 2 cents worth.
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 386
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:27:03 PM

I tried it only to find that my matches were religious fanatics. Some of them were also conservative Republicans. One was an anti abortion zealot. These things turn me off royally.

I guess you won't be voting for Sarah then...
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 387
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:06:11 PM
I was on e-Harm for one month... lots of matches right away, I sent notes to several but never - NOT ONCE - heard back from any of them. I had specified a mileage range of within 50 or 75 miles - which they ignored and kept sending me "matches" that were 4 and 5 and 6 hours' drive from me! And then they'd send "matches" that were way older than my specified age-range.. then started sending ones that were way too YOUNG. I'm just 61, so I specified 55 to 65, and to be here in VA... yeah, right - I was getting them from TEXAS and IDAHO and FLORIDA. Then after the 2nd week - no matches at all! Zip - nada - for over 2 weeks. So I searched til I found the place where I could cancel, and did. And they ask "why are you cancelling?" to which - well, you can guess what I said!

Then after a couple of weeks I got onto the e-H "members advisory" board... just like this on here on POF. I was reading thru the rants that were posted and someone suggested Craig's List, and mentioned that there were several free sites. So I joined the local (Roanoke, VA) Craig's list and posted my own personals. Right away, got a note from a nice older fella who said to try I did, and joined, and I've had lots of emails and phone calls with various men...although I've only met one so far, they are all interesting. So I was back on the e-Harm "love advice board/forum" recently and decided to post my own rant ... I told how great POF was and it was free, etc. Within 24 hours I got an email from them telling me that it was against the rules for anyone to advertise other dating sites. I immediately replied that I was doing what someone else had already done - they replied back that this was a warning, one more time and I'd be kicked/barred off of e-Harmony's site. Well, by then I had cancelled my "membership" (at least 10 days before the expiration, so they wouldn't charge me again) so I wrote back " GO AHEAD, e-HARMONY SUCKS AND ALL YOU GUYS WANT TO DO IS MAKE MONEY WITH NO REGARD TO THE PURCHASER OF YOUR SO-CALLED SERVICES". Yes, I did it all in caps - I was shouting my anger to them. But they wouldnt' allow my rant to be posted - yet the "advisory forum/board" is supposed to be FOR the use of members - it's not supposed to be watch-dogged by the management. So they revealed their true colors to me right then and there. Now I have read that this is a conservative Christian site? wow - had no clue - and I'm surprised they allowed me to join even for one month! why? because I'm agnostic and liberal.

Something else though... they keep sending me emails making these great offers of so many months for so little $$ - and I keep replying back how sucky they are and how fraudulent they are. After 3 months they finally quit sending me emails to rejoin.

I'd NEVER EVER go back there...
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 388
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:13:37 PM
if you had such a great relationship from e-Harmony... what happened??? why are you here on POF?
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 389
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:18:14 PM
if you had such a great relationship from e-Harmony... what happened??? why are you here on POF?
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 390
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:32:08 PM
It’s sort of a long story lol… It definitely was a great relationship (similar senses of humour, interests, great conversation, etc). Unfortunately, there were some pretty big differences in terms of our values and goals for life that came out as time went on. In the end, we both realized that despite how much we cared for each other, those differences would ultimately do us in. So we decided to part, but we’re still great friends and still care for each other.

I’m still on POF because there are a lot of great people on this site who I’d like to meet. I just haven’t seemed to figure out the secret formula for getting them to write back. So you can imagine how frustrating it is to spend so much time writing messages, and not get a response back (on eHarmony, on the other hand, you could, in the space of 5-10 minutes, initiate contact with 10 people. If they didn’t respond, at least you didn’t waste much time.). I’m intrigued by a lot of the women who post on here though, so I keep sending messages in the hopes that some will be interested.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 394
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:59:52 AM
All women on eHarmony are really hot chicks with boots and short skirts! Just like POF!
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 395
Posted: 9/21/2008 5:33:49 AM
Ya I agree! I did a free weekend trial of eHarmony and I didn't like the idea of pre-set messages or you can only ask them certain questions. Plus it's like continuous blind dating cuz you can't see anyone's pics til you send them x-amount of e-mails or messages or whatever... and I am not generally a patient person. I like this site much better and I'm hoping to find some good fish again soon
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 396
Posted: 9/21/2008 6:32:26 AM
btw, if POF is such a bad site for you why are you still on it?

Many of us are on POF for the forums.

if you had such a great relationship from e-Harmony... what happened?

As with many things in life, the quality of the product depends entirely on the quality of the individual ingredients. If both people are totally honest with eHarmony's questions, there is a greater chance of success, though there are no guarantees. Many people, however, answer the questions as they either think people see them or they want to be seen, thus skewing the results.

Bad ingredients make for bad products.
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 399
view profile
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:56:03 AM
NEIL CLARK WARREN MUST DIE!!! ....He might as well be Nigerian. Money grubbing piece of sh!t. I wasted 50 bucks on that site 2 years ago. My "soulmates" were allegedly 400 pound black women in Orlando. What a joke
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 400
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:01:04 AM
E-Harmony...What a Joke! I tried it way back when they started, and look where it got me! Anyways, costs too much money for what they don't give you. I don't know about the rest of you, but besides, what I might find appealing about another(height, weight, hair color, etc) wasn't an option I was ever asked or given, and I find that having hobbies, interests and such in common with another is very important too! I was never asked what my interests were, hobbies were, things I didn't like to do, etc. And the screening process....what a joke too! Supposedly they screen out those who are not suitable...however, I got a profile from a "supposed" gentleman on that site, and the only word in every answer on his profile was "sex". I reported this and never got a reply from e-Harmony about their standards. Honestly, I have met others through other venues and well meaning friends and family and fared a lot better. In summation, don't waste time, effort, money, or hopes on e-Harmony.
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 401
view profile
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:04:41 AM
There is a way around being sucked in by the paying sites. DON'T use a credit card. Mail a money order, and you won't have to worry about automatic billing. I've done this with 2 paying sites, and never had a problem with billing, and the one was in Austin, Texas, and my snail mail reached them in 2 days from Eastern Ontario, used to take a week from Parry Sound to Huntsville, a total of 60 miles by road, go figure. The big drawback to any paying site is there are always a lot of non paying members who can't write you back, and a lot of paying members haven't figured they need to include their e-mail in their first contact. Yes, some paying sites do allow this!
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 402
Posted: 9/23/2008 7:12:36 AM
This thread was first created in July 2005, and I can see by scanning the last few posts eHarmony is still I would never go back to any pay site unless forced to (meaning there are no free sites left).
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 405
Posted: 9/23/2008 4:23:58 PM
i wonder if Grog27, the one who started this back in July 2005, found his true love on eHarmony?
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 408
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:22:33 PM
Wow, eHarmony wouldn't even give me a chance to let them screw me. I was one of the "20 percent" unmatchable folks, based on that two hour questionnaire I filled out.

I made the mistake of being bluntly honest on the questionnaire, thinking it really would help them find me compatible matches. I said yes, I am a smoker, and yes, I am an atheist and yes, I tend to take more than I give, and so on and so on. When they rejected me, I was annoyed. Just for fun, I went back and filled out the questionnaire as a robot would. Christian non-smoker, healthy lifestyle, drinks socially, likes walks on the beach, always honest and kind, healthy sexual attitudes but won't jump into bed with just anyone, demure and sweet and giving and perfect and so on and so on. Obviously, the second questionnaire accepted me.

I ended up at instead and met someone as imperfect as myself and married him last Saturday. Ironically, he'd wavered between eHarmony and Match himself but chose Match because it was cheaper.

For me, sites that allow you to contact whoever you want and vice versa are better. I don't like having only a limited number of choices. I had great luck on Match, but more than a few people told me not to bother with it because they hadn't had any luck at all.

I think that online dating is part chance, part perseverence. I met fifteen guys before meeting the one I married. I felt like giving up but could never quite bring myself to turn off the screen for good. It paid off for me.
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 410
Posted: 9/25/2008 2:42:20 PM
about 5 months on EH
424 closed matches
392 matches i closed
88 matches without a photo posted
31 matches that i found attractive
7 matches go into "open communication"
4 girls i exchanged #s/emails with
2 scam artists (& poor ones at that!)
2 girls i met in person who didn't look exactly like the pics posted but who were friend material
1 girl i like now who a friend introduced me to...we're going to coldstone for ice cream tonight!
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 411
Posted: 9/25/2008 3:05:47 PM
i forgot to put this lil gem up, it's the message you get when you try to cancel. THEN they hit you with...wait for it.................................ANOTHER questionnaire !:frustrated:
" I know that some people expect to find their soul mate quickly. However, I'd like people to know that it took me over a year to find the right one. I want them to know they should never give up! "
--David, matched with Debbie
on July 19, 2005
yeah uh david, you can kiss my bum.
so the questionnaire looks like this, with my response as to importance of reason for cancellation:
Help us improve our service
Please indicate how important each of these factors is in your decision to cancel your eHarmony subscription:
The length of time it took to receive a match I wanted to communicate with:
Very Important
The subscription price: Very Important
The number of matches I received: Not at all Important
My concern about what others thought about my appearance:Not at all Important
eHarmony's matching philosophy:Very Important
The safety and security I felt using eHarmony:Not at all Important
The quality of matches I received:Moderately Important
The number of people I communicated with:Not at all Important
The discomfort I felt about communicating with my matches:Not at all Important
Please tell us, in your own words, the #1 reason why you are not renewing your subscription, and any other comments you may have:
The ice-breakers are mostly absurd, the price is too high with today's economy, most of my matches are "ghosts" (non-paying people), I can't pick which body types I like, there's no IM function, EHadvice is more interesting, lack of racial diversity.
Before you cancel your subscription...
Please take a moment to review these tips to improving your eHarmony experience. Before you cancel your subscription, why not communicate with each of your matches and find out why eHarmony brought you two together? Your subscription doesn't officially expire until November 5, 2008 You never know who is worth a second look. *Review your Match Settings*
Compatibility and chemistry are special qualities that often take time to find. Remember, each match you receive has been chosen based on the 29 Key Dimensions of compatibility proven to be vital to a successful relationship.
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 412
Posted: 9/25/2008 3:26:37 PM
It is the same with match and true . they wanted my c/c , for get that their went my free dates
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 415
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:10:39 PM
Yeh they are crooks I think the profiles are phony too.

Cash cow did you notice they chat you up then you renew and poof!
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 416
Posted: 9/26/2008 5:31:04 PM
I am not sure about eharmony either.

I foolishly spent way too much time on their ludicrous profile questions. Then they ironically matched me up with a fellow I had been involved with some 19 years ago. He must be telling the same lies he told back then!

So glad I didn't pay for that!
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 419
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:54:28 PM
Here in the U.S., we're pretty much an instant-gratification society. We want the high-paying job ... now, the fancy car ... now, the nice house ... now, the perfect significant other ... now. Same thing with dating. We want to be attracted to The Perfect One ... now.

We don't want to wait like our parents did. We detest "courting." (does anybody even use that word anymore?) eHarmony is all about waiting and searching and such. Not much instant-gratification there, unlike, where you can see The Perfect One...or you hope so.

Life is a crap shoot, so why should internet dating be any different?

Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 421
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:17:27 PM
I do agree with alI of ya guys ... that site is crap, I remember after I went on another dating site decided to try eharmony and I spend (WASTED) my time filling out the questionaire and all that shit and the at the end would accept me because at that time I was separated not divorced and I got a msg saying that at that moment they were unable to take my application because only SINGLE people can go on it ... then ... how the hell do you know if all the people is divorced, the can be separated for a long time and they assume they are divorced or some of them lie ... so ... that happened to me for being honest ... LOL ... anyway ... then they kept on sending me emails for me to sing up again ... F***G BS ...never tried again and don't regret it at all ... LO
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