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 angelo674
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 83
I'm too old to have a babyPage 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
the 35 year is right. when a women hits the age of 35.... there is 1 in 4 chance that the baby could have birth defects. then comes the issue of wanting more kids.... by that time she will be pushing close to 40... it does happen in today's day and age.. but it is RISKY...it aslo easier for a twenty something to get pregeant. then a women that is a lot older.... big issue
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 84
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I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 3/21/2010 1:03:35 PM
That risk level at age 35 sounds WAY to high to be right...
 PerfectlyUnperfect
Joined: 5/6/2007
Msg: 86
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I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:41:02 PM
That's terrible! You are NOT to old to have a baby. I have known people in their 40's who had very healthy happy children.

Ugh, that makes me mad that some men think like that.
 new_sl4ng
Joined: 3/22/2010
Msg: 87
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 3/25/2010 7:09:58 PM
I think you are being extremely paranoid and cynical. Calm down.
 eroot
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 89
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 3/26/2010 7:50:53 PM
birth statistics tell us that there is a measured increase of birth defects after the age of 35.

it is not guaranteed, and more women are having children later in life.

at 35, looking to date a 20 year old... that's just creepy.

you, my dear, are better without such an individual.
 Pirate Mollie
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 94
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 5/4/2010 6:47:48 PM
i like to post in this forum cuz i am going to be over thirty someday and i just want to be prepared. like kitty litter.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 95
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 5/12/2010 2:08:30 AM
According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, "At 35 you're half as fertile as when you were at 25; at 40 you're half as fertile as when you were 35". This means that it can suddenly take much longer to get pregnant when you hit your late thirties or early forties and you may have problems conceiving at all.....Another problem is that the odds of having a baby with a genetic defect increase as you get older. Figures from the Office of National Statistics for 2005, show that the risk of having a baby with a genetic abnormality such as Down's syndrome rises from 2 per 1,000 births at ages 35-39 years, to 4 per 1,000 at age 40-44 years up to 14 per 1,000 at age 45 years or over. If you're almost, or over 40, you should strongly consider genetic testing because the risk of genetic problems increases significantly.

Because chromosomal abnormalities are the most common reason for miscarriage, the risk of miscarriage also increases with age. It has also been suggested that higher rates of stillbirth for women over 35 could also be attributable in some part to chromosomal abnormalities.


Seems to me this shows that there isn't that much risk having babies over 40. If 14 out of 1000 have a problem that means 986 are born without problems (The majority of the babies). Yes the risk goes up, but it is going up from almost nothing to a tiny chance.

If I had it to do again, I would not have considered having a baby until I was at least 30.
From what I have seen in life, children born to parents over 30 have a far better chance of growing up in a stable home.

Now that I am older I think it is better to wait until you are at least 25 to get married, and then wait at least 5 years to establish yourself as a family before you bring children into it.

The op is nowhere near too old to have children.

Not to mention that a man who thought the main reason for getting married was to have children, would cause me to drop him like he was the worst habit on earth or anywhere else for that matter at any age. I feel the main reason at any age that you should get married is because you love each other and that you want to become a family with that person. Every marriage is a family with or without children.
 DiscoveringSelf
Joined: 4/30/2010
Msg: 96
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 5/17/2010 10:09:10 AM
Nope. I had my first baby at 38
If you are healthy. No smoke. No overweight.no diabetes, ANY midwife will take you all the way to 45 and WITHOUT all the high risk crap. I did no ammnio. My midwife prescribed food based natural prenatals and I elliminated all fried food and white flour during pregnancy.

Regular doctors need to go by average statistics for liability issues.

My son is 2 and he is super healthy. Has never used antibiotics on him.
Unfortunately commom knowledge in this topic is just wrong.

If there is history of down syndrome in your family that would be a risk factor

Please forgive spelling, answering from phone

I
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 97
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 5/18/2010 9:52:46 PM
I am personally too old to have a baby. I am probably infertile anyway but even if I wasn't with my physical issues it would be a bad idea to get pregnant.For other women who don't suffer from my physical issues then I don't see 36 as too old.Both my grandmothers had healthy babies over 44 years old.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 98
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 5/20/2010 7:37:02 PM
The 35 year old told me he is looking for a girl in her early 20's to have a baby because I am a RISK of having a deformed child! He wants a young womb!


I know lots of men like this - still holding out for kids and a young wife even at 50.

Personally, my father had a child late in life and he felt that his child missed out because he was older.

I decided not to have children because the child could very possibly end up with an illness. This has prevented me from dating a lot of men. Not much one can do.

There are many people who have babies at 40 - I would never because I would prefer not to be too old while raising a child, but if others wish to do that - go for it!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 99
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 6/9/2010 11:06:07 AM
too old to have a baby.
Hell welcome to the party, I was there at 18 ;)
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 100
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/5/2010 9:31:29 AM
Why? Because old women want him to? Hardly seems like a good reason to pass on young hotties when women love older men (at the least the ones who don't let themselves go).

It is not hard for a 37 year old to get a woman in her 20s. At all. It's actually kind of dumb for him to even date a woman in her 30s at all outside of short term bangathons.


I'm not saying it's wrong - what I'm saying is that I don't meet too many men who actually STAY with a woman in her 20's. Most men (including my dad who told me after his experience - wisdom talking) tell me they can't relate to those women and they have nothing in common - they let years pass dealing with this issue and rather than sacrifice something, will continue to chase that golden dream and continue to bemoan their situation. So what I garner from your post is that men don't care about anything but looks, they will sacrifice fun, and good conversation for someone hotter? That's like saying all women will go for the rich fat guy. My biological father put it very well - dating a 24 year old was all about the ego. He told me he would not have done that had he known better and when I tell him about the older men I know who want kids and a younger wife, he laughs at them. After the glitter faded, he had ZERO in common with her.

See, I'm one of those women who DID want a husband and kids in my 20's - didn't happen and then lots of bad crap happened to me after that where I had to refrain from dating, so I do get where you are coming from. I guess I should have been selfish and put all my baggage on a man back then instead of waiting? Yeah, there's the ticket, then I'd be well taken care of now, with a man who buys things for me and drives me everywhere. I believe in treating people better than that. I've been alone a long time for a few reasons, but one of them is that I don't want to be selfish and just be with someone because I'm alone.

Personally, the man I was going to marry in my 20's? He sure didn't make me feel like my sexual value was that great. But yeah, I should've snagged that man.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 101
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/5/2010 10:40:54 PM

This is why a woman should've done everything she could in her 20s to snag a valuable man when her own sexual value was at its highest. Another failure of good ol' American shortsightedness just like the rest of our economy.
So many 35+ woman who still indicate they want kids. If you are a smokin hottie it's hard enough at that age let alone 'average'. On top of that some of them are STILL super picky and looking for mr sexy/the one!!! .....lol...O.....K. But there's not much sense in reasoning. 5 year countdown till crazy cat lady time.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 102
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/6/2010 10:43:14 AM

So many 35+ woman who still indicate they want kids. If you are a smokin hottie it's hard enough at that age let alone 'average'.



Contrary to some mens ignorant views,like the one above,even ugly women have sex and any time you have sex,so long as your reproductive organs are working,then you can get pregnant.You need not be a smoking hottie to get pregnant.




On top of that some of them are STILL super picky and looking for mr sexy/the one!!! ....


You just described so many men.No matter how bald,fat,toothless,haggard,grey and ugly some still think they are Adonis and will only go for the goddesses.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 103
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/6/2010 11:37:37 AM

Contrary to some mens ignorant views,like the one above,even ugly women have sex and any time you have sex,so long as your reproductive organs are working,then you can get pregnant.You need not be a smoking hottie to get pregnant
I wasn't speaking 'literally'. I was alluding to the desirability factor.


You just described so many men.No matter how bald,fat,toothless,haggard,grey and ugly some still think they are Adonis and will only go for the goddesses.
I agree men do that too and it's positively idiotic as well. People need to get REAL and quit existing in la la land.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 104
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/7/2010 5:08:04 PM
Actually older mothers are better. That is why grandmothers are so important in successfully raising a child. As a pediatrician, I can tell you that the children with mothers in their 30s/40s are much better off than those with mothers in their 20s.
I haven't met a mom in her 50s so I can't comment on that but I am sure the improvement continues with age.

Fathers, however, are better when they are younger because the things that make good fathers (in general opinion) usually require more youth and energy than the things that one considers to make a good mother.

Children with old fathers definitely miss out- and they complain to me about it....
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 105
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 7/8/2010 9:19:42 AM

The risk of having a child with down syndrome goes up exponentially with a womans age.


While the risk goes up it does not go up exponentially. Anyway this is why there is testing you can do before the fetus is born so that if a fetus has any serious defects you can abort.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 107
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 8/17/2010 11:07:27 AM

I think that its funny when I hear a chick tell everyone shes waiting to have a kid until she's "Ready". By the time that happens, her shelf life has past. :P
Don't bring rationality into the mix. If they want to do things bass akwards (career first, kids last) let them. Much like a man should start his sports career AFTER 35...............um actually that would probably not be the best plan of action.
Women got their 'free liberation/independence'. Only problem is nature doesn't care. It has it's own plan.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 108
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/2/2010 5:24:49 PM
Why can't you be happy without a baby? True contentment comes with just living life and not being obsessed with being someone's mommy.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 109
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/3/2010 8:03:44 AM
I think anyone who is 35+ whether you are a man or a woman should just give up wanting a baby and get a reality check because at this age you can't move as well and you would not be able to play with your kids and do the same things with your kids as you would be able to in your 20's.

Bottom line is a 35+ year old will not be able to keep up with your children and It is not fair to the child that has parents that can't interact with them as a parent should and on top of that is very unhealthy to have a child at that age anyway

 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 110
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/3/2010 10:16:20 AM

I think anyone who is 35+ whether you are a man or a woman should just give up wanting a baby and get a reality check because at this age you can't move as well and you would not be able to play with your kids and do the same things with your kids as you would be able to in your 20's.

Bottom line is a 35+ year old will not be able to keep up with your children and It is not fair to the child that has parents that can't interact with them as a parent should and on top of that is very unhealthy to have a child at that age anyway
My father is in his 60's and is an exercise FREAK. He has and can beat men much younger in bike racing. He could probably out-hike a mountain goat if the challenge presented itself. BUT he is an exception. Many people let themselves go big time YET STILL hold on to all these unrealistic desires it seems. I think it's a bit of a shame as many people COULD turn their health around if they really wanted to.....they don't obviously otherwise they would have. If the horse doesn't want to drink let him die of dehydration......his choice.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 111
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/3/2010 11:17:35 AM
Your father may be able to beat someone younger but in the long run he will get exhausted much faster which goes for the same for a 35 year old as well. Whether you accept it or not at 35 you just don't have it anymore even if you are the most health person with a 6 pack, your stamina has decreases a lot by this age and on top of that you run the risk of serious/permanent injury.

A child needs someone that can keep up not lag behind
 FloridaGal00
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 112
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/19/2010 10:50:49 PM
There are many woman having 2nd familes or starting families in their late 30's and early 40's you have time
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 113
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/20/2010 12:15:25 PM
Do you actually want a baby? I think that is the main question here.

As for some men thinking you are too old well, that is their perogative. We all know of at least one women, more than a few in my case, who have had babies over the age of thirty five, some over the age of forty. Not one of them gave birth to a chid with deformities, or learning disabilities. All of them were born perfectly healthy, got a top score on the APGAR test at birth, and are developing normally, even precouciously in some cases and I think that has a lot to do with the mothers being more stable, balanced women who have more patience, more money, took better care of themselves throughout their pregnancies, and now have more time to spend with their children enriching them.

How many twenty year olds do you know that read prenatal books, eat a proper diet, take prenatal vitamins, set up their environment in such a way as to accomodate a baby before it arrives, understand child development because they researched it, and have prepared themselves in every way possible for the arrival of their baby? Not too many that I know of. Most of them just take it for granted their child will be born healthy, wander aimlessly through their pregnancies, have no idea what to do for, or with the child after it is born, and god forbid it does not come out healthy and well formed because they are lost. Older women on the other hand think these things through for fully for the most part and have the emotional, intellectual, social and financial wherewithal to have both a succesful pregnancy and raise a child succesfully as well.

Older women who plan their pregnancies and do whatever is necessary to ensure a healthy pregnancy and birth usually end up making better mothers in the long run. Remember, a baby is only in the womb for nine months but, it requires care, nurturing, guidance and love throughout its life. If an older woman is physically capable of carrying a child and is smart enough to do all the right things pre and post birth I think the men out there over the age of thirty five that are contemplating parenthood would be well advised to think twice before knocking up some twenty something thinking that is going to give them the best chance for a healthy, happy baby.

All you are probably going to end up with is two kids to raise instead of one until one of them grows up and leaves home. And it will usually be the childmother you chose to be your babymomma, when she decides to go back to enjoying that youthful life she gave up to bear the fruit of your loins.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 114
I'm too old to have a baby
Posted: 9/20/2010 12:41:45 PM
^^What an asinine assumption about young mothers. Just as stupid as people who assume an older woman cant have a healthy baby. I ate healthy, took my prenatal vitamin each and every morning, amassed a library of child development & baby care books, had a wonderful environment for my daughter, and had a healthy happy vibrant little girl. i worked to provide for her and gave her plenty of quality time. At age 19. Set the haterade down.
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