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 AtomicGogol
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 21
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THINGS I FIND FUNNYPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Here's something for everyone. I hope you get a laugh as I did...

I was talking to this Peruvian guy a while ago, and he was telling me how everyone was scared in the 1960's that the Soviets would blow up the world, even in Peru. So this entrepreneur decided to buy up 100,000 acres in the Sechura Desert in northern Peru. He paid about $1/acre because it was totally desolate wasteland and the gov't didn't want it. He then started advertising that people should buy his land because he was POSITIVE the Soviets wouldn't bother to nuke this godforsaken real estate, and people did just that. He sold for like $250/acre or something and ended up making a hell of a profit.

I laughed my butt off when I heard this....
 brian6to4to3
Joined: 12/7/2009
Msg: 22
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/11/2009 10:38:06 AM
When I was a kid we had a quick-sand box in the backyard. I was an only child....eventually.
...Stephen Wright
 zircon909
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 23
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THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/12/2009 9:53:40 PM
How about some quotes....
"Blessed are they who clip coupons, for they shall be redeemed." Author Unknown
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.--Groucho Marx
It aint my ignorance what done me up but what I knowed that wasn't so. >Uncle Zeek<
I support everyone's right to be an idiot.I may need it myself someday......

I eat my peas with honey. I've et them all my life. It makes the peas taste funny, But it keeps them on my knife. -- Unknown

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 27
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/14/2009 7:17:50 PM
I like "TOBY" You know the Steam Clean your carpets commercial.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 34
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/27/2009 8:21:29 PM
Marmite

messages this to the point may not be posted unless you have superpowers and can rhumba with elephants
 Jeeep4Fun
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 35
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/29/2009 4:44:20 AM
Ok, so continuing with the funny quotes...

"One time I walked across the entire country looking for my dog. I turned around, and he was behind me the whole time."

"Once a spaceship landed in front of me and three-inch-tall green men got out. I asked them, 'Are you really three inches tall?' They replied, 'No, we're just really far away.'"

"I'm a peripheral visionary, which means I see into the future, but just off to the side."

All by Stephen Wright
 bernta
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 36
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 12/29/2009 7:48:40 PM
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my Mum or my Dad, or my
older brother Colin, or my younger brother
Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
 Worbug
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 41
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THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/2/2010 2:56:06 AM
I once seen a sign in a parking lot handicap spot, it said "Warning, if you are not handicap when you park here, you will be when you leave"
 zircon909
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 42
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Posted: 1/7/2010 2:27:41 PM
More quotes....
Let my words, like vegetables, be tender and sweet, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.--Author Unknown

Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools

"Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?"

The trouble with trouble is that it starts out fun.
 ratsorizzo
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 45
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:16:33 AM
You can pick your friends,
you can pick your nose,
but you cant pick your friends nose.

when you see your own boogers or excrement its not gross,but look at anothers and its just plain sickening.

one way to tell if your suit is a hand me down, you try and wipe a booger off and find that all the best spots are already taken!
 ratsorizzo
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 46
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:46:01 AM
When a couple is having an argument and each has to have the last word,its so important that you leave the bathroom door open while on the crapper so no part of the conversation is missed.
 ratsorizzo
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 48
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/12/2010 10:12:24 AM
A head on one end of a skateboard,a cup with pencils for five cents on the other end.
A sign next to the skateboard says,"I'm lucky I was wearing a helmut at the time"
 rossomycoo
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 50
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Posted: 1/13/2010 8:58:27 AM
I had a one nite stand with this woman and after sex she just wouldn't stop rubbing and scratching my balls. She said she loved doing it.

When I asked her why she loved it so much she said...

" because I miss mine so much"
 ratsorizzo
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 51
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/13/2010 3:35:37 PM
Why comedy?
Theres just not enough stand up tragedy,... Robin Williams
 hazleyedgal
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 52
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/13/2010 6:25:25 PM
That in Arkansas you can legally buy and use tobacco products at 18. Yet, you can not enter a public building that allows smoking if you are under 21.
 ron5000
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 53
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/20/2010 6:25:04 AM
I love this one. (post number 25)
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”

On a similar note, I also like the one that goes something like “I thought I was wrong once but it turned out I was wrong about that”.
 tractor_guy83
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 54
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/22/2010 9:15:02 AM
So I went to the hospital the other day for a icc physical ( its a cdl thing ), and I'm looking at the callendar on the wall and I see the name on the bottom of the callendar is from none other than THE LOCAL FUNERAL HOME.
So a few minutes go by and the doc walks in and I tell her what a nice callendar she has and ask if they give them out to their top customers, she said she didn't know and then I pointed out the name on the callendar and we all got a good chuckle out of it...
 bernta
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 55
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/22/2010 11:41:09 AM
Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of the boat??

Because if they felt frontwards they would still be in the boat!!
 every1inline
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 57
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/23/2010 10:14:31 AM
I think it is Jackson Pollack, the painter that scribbles and throws paint on a canvas right out of the can. But how is it used, what context?
 adventurer652
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 58
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 1/24/2010 12:28:22 PM
oh PuhLEEESE !!!

who ever said the description "Pollacks" is derogatory needs an enema !

what, if not a "Pollack" is someone who lives in, or is from, Poland ? you call people from England: "Brits"; people from Holland : "Dutch", people from Mexico: "Mexicans", people from America: "AMERICANS"
are these also all derogatory?

we don't need to be SO anal retentive as to refer to everyone as "that human being from the country of _________"

methinks someone has been reading the liberal handbook of political correctness with a jaundiced eye

FYI - my entire family on both sides is 100% polish and we all refer to each other and other "persons of Polich ancestry" as - you GUESSED IT - P O L L A C K S - and in 58 years i've never heard any of my realtives or their friends say they were offended by the term

chill
 111Enigma
Joined: 2/6/2010
Msg: 62
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 3/26/2010 5:04:20 PM
Weiner Dogs (dachshunds) make me smile everytime I see one. I just adore them.

~ How about a package of Smoked Almonds with the following warning :
"May contain nuts"
No, really! You think? So you saying my chance to find nuts in this package is what? 50/50 more or less? But either way, I may find some ? Right?

P.A.
 rocknsunshine
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 64
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THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 3/26/2010 9:55:33 PM
I think its funny when you end a relationship, and he says..." you'll never find any one like me." Well, DUH dumb ass! I sure hope not. If I didnt like you, why would I want someone just like you!!!!
 sexee14u
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 67
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 3/27/2010 7:52:30 AM
And how about this one.......If ignorance is bliss.......why aren't more people happy? lol
 HereN916
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 68
THINGS I FIND FUNNY
Posted: 3/27/2010 11:54:09 AM
I know my sense of humor is odd and I'm probably the only one amused by this, but here goes: during a football game when I hear the ref make a call of "Unnecessary Roughness. I laugh everytime I hear it and think to myself, what the hell, c'mon look at these guys, what are they about 6'6 300lbs crying about being hit too hard??? Makes me think of being a kid and running home and telling mom that big kid down the street was picking on me.........they need to call it something else and don't ask me what, I don't have any suggestions, it's just one of many things I find humorous.
 rocknsunshine
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 69
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Posted: 3/28/2010 5:43:41 AM
Why do they call them gynocologists? Why not vaginacologist? And this was a commercial for Chilli's that came out soon after my identical twin daughters were born. Completely identical teenage girls, sitting at a table. Same clothes, same hair, everything. And a teenage boy walks by and looks at them, then turns around, and looks again...double take. And one says, oh, he was look'n at me! And the other one says, no, he was look'n at me! Then the other one says no, Im pretty sure he was look'n at me! Why would he be look'n at you, when he could be look'n at me? I mean, look at you, (sarcastic) and look at me!!
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