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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > My son is a "deal-breaker" because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 51
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

No. The only one who would care would be a racist.


NOT TRUE AT ALL

use your brains everybody.

you would possibly have to deal with the mother and that means dealing with the mother's CULTURE.

and that is where the friction would come in.

some people can see this as a huge problem.... and it can be.
just as different religions can be a problem.

so consider that before you bad mouth someone.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 52
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 6:03:45 PM

By all accounts she is not a racist, but a separatist.

You can't be one without the other. You really just can't. I understand that people like to tell themselves this so they can think they're not racist, but separatism is racism. Without racism there's no reason for separatism; it's a subset thereof.

I'm not going to say, I'm fine with racist jackasses, I just don't want any marrying my sister. I'll tell you the truth straight up. I don't like racist jackasses and I don't want one marrying my sister. There's an inherent difference because the racist jackass can learn not to be a racist jackass if he so chooses. No one can learn to be a different color.

Not that the semantics matter much anyway. The OP got some good answers. Clearly most respondents believe this woman to be in the minority, or at least hope that she is. I'm glad to see that.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 53
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 6:14:11 PM
I have a hard time swallowing this thread. We all face discrimination for different reasons at one time or another. I'm empathetic to your situation OP for reasons other than racial.
You saved yourself future heartache. I have epilepsy and raised two disabled daughters (now married) and face unbelievable challenges myself especially in the work place.
Be more accepting of yourself as the parent of a bi-racial child and you too will find others to be more accepting of your special gift- YOUR CHILD.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 54
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 6:59:18 PM
p.s. It's Bin Laden's Catch the " ' " in there? And it's "RocK Man" not Rockman. Please be perfect if your going to get that childish trying to mock me over grammar or punctuation. Because it makes you once again appear to be a hypocrite!
For your edification, RocK Man (and that is such a perfect name for you), there should NOT be an apostrophe between the 'n' and the 's' in "Bin Ladens". It was plural, not possessive. Until you learn proper grammar and spelling, I suggest you not try to correct someone else's (See? Now this is possessive and, therefore, calls for an apostrophe. Got it?). It just show's your ignorance in the matter.

And how is pointing this out being hypocritical? I have little patience and tolerance for fools and ignorance. I'm not being hypocritical, just honest.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 55
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 7:07:03 PM
I contend that there are MANY North American women (particularly from the US) who would feel the same way but not be able to voice it.

She is not alone.

OP, I don't know if you are even still reading this but I noticed that your profile on here states that you have a mixed-race child. Did you write that because of your experience?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 56
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 7:11:14 PM

Op I read studies on this, not easy for many to accept a Bi-racial child, well
lets be more precises Black and white or what Obama IS REALY Mulatto!
He ain't Black since his mother side is white.


This just goes to show the continued ignorance of people. "Mulatto" has largely fell out of use, and not only that, a child born of two races is BI-racial any way you consider it. Regardless, a child is a child, eh?


The study Concluded


What study? Who conducted it?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 57
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 7:16:59 PM


No. The only one who would care would be a racist.


NOT TRUE AT ALL

use your brains everybody.

you would possibly have to deal with the mother and that means dealing with the mother's CULTURE.

and that is where the friction would come in.

some people can see this as a huge problem.... and it can be.
just as different religions can be a problem.

so consider that before you bad mouth someone.


WHOA, spoken like a closet racist....

No matter the make and model of a child, there is going to probably be a parent... These parents can be true pain in the butts, and can the grandparents from his and her side...

They can be white, German, Russian, English, Canadian, Jewish et al... If this child's race was NOT obvious, she wouldn't have said a word, after all there wouldn't be anything to notice that this child was anything other than Caucasian.

Saying these examples listed would strictly be an issue for a noticeably mixed race is a totally fallacious, and is NOT limited to any race... The things listed are a people thing, that is just as big of an issue for full Caucasian as for anyone else...

She was a racists, and didn't even find out if the mother was an issue, or they had an amicable relationship, she straight out said Caucasian women don't like mix raced kids, and thinking other wise was naive...

The things YOU listed can be a problem, just because a child exists from a previous relationship, she made her distaste of his child being bi racial the issue.... She's openly racist....



If you're not ashamed - why wouldn't you be open and honest about the ethnicity of your child?

Why hide it?
Deny it?
Fail to reveal it?


WHY would he need to reveal anything??? His son is his son, not a race, not a bi racial, just his wonderful son......

I am bi racial, in the fact I have many different races from Europe, as well as Native American, so does that mean I need to spill all about my heritage too??? After all since 75% of my heritage is German, that could easily make me have ties to Nazi's wouldn't that be offensive too???

shakes head...

I don't see dad as ashamed, he sees his son as a person, not a race, or bi, tri, et al racial...
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 58
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 7:21:53 PM
No I did not miss the comment Rock Man. It's not any more dramatic. As a parent that has faced discrimination on many different levels I was simply empathizing.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 59
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 8:52:59 PM
Obviously this woman is a bigot.
No "most" caucasian women dont think this way. I see a child, and all i see is a precious little person, not their race.
She is better suited for a redneck man, be glad she showed her ass and you didnt have to waste another minute with her.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 60
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 8:54:18 PM

I don't know where you have been living but black is not a culture, it's a skin tone.


?????

No! Black can be a skin color; it can also be a very unique culture. Denying that a person is different because of their color is as racist as condemning them for their color. You need to embrace people for who they are at every level. Embrace their differences. Acknowledge the color of their skin, realizing that this color may mean that they represent a culture that is different from your own. And this is A Ok!
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 61
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 10:19:46 PM
As I see it, you're lucky Keith! You know this about her before you put too much into the relationship! If it's a problem for her now, it will be a much greater problem to her later on and divorce is VERY Expensive! Good riddance! You will be happier alone than with someone like her anyway!

Well, that's what I think anyway!
 6fo300
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 62
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/2/2009 11:05:31 PM
Simply put, throw up the peace sign and tell her to kiss your ass.

As for are many women like this,.. I can only speak on where I'm from, and in Tampa, well Florida in general it's way too diverse for people to act like that in abundance,.. are there some, absolutely but that's with anywhere, but they are looked at like 3 eyed freaks, we don't want anything to do with em'
 Torika
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 63
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 10:19:50 AM
Honey Ignorance Is Bliss, she's not worth a second thought and thank God she showed her true colors soon enough before you guys were more serious she needs prayer lol. Celebrate the fact that she is HISTORY
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 64
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 10:31:12 AM
~OP~ I have a bi-racial cousin, it used to shock the hell out of me when people would ask her mother when she adopted a child. It happened quite often and all these years later, I still don't get it. She was biologically born into our DNA pool. Even in a metropolitan area (where they lived) people assumed she must have been legally rather than biologically added to our clan. **shrugs???** People think as they think and you'll never change a bigot's mind. They see things as they do and that's that. There is a website out there and "friends" openly show on the profile. I have more than one African American man on that list and as sad as it is, I have received mail from men telling me that I must have serious issues if I am not opposed to "friends" of a different ethnicity. Yep, racism is alive and well and it's not selective to gender/age/nationality or anything else. It's sadly, one component of human nature for some. JMO
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 65
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 4:29:13 PM
igorfrankensteen wrote:

OH, and a little scientific note... about that "descended from apes" thing, that aint accurate. Apes and humans are all descended from the same creature, which was actually neither human nor ape. So we're cousins, which is probably even MORE insulting to our ape relatives.

True - but my brain, while knowing this, couldn't figure out at 1:30am how to express this concept, so it simplified!

Gwendolyn2009 wrote:
This just goes to show the continued ignorance of people. "Mulatto" has largely fell out of use, and not only that, a child born of two races is BI-racial any way you consider it.

Maybe in the US, but I understand that in Spanish-speaking countries, using the term "mulatto/mulatta" has no pejorative connotation, and is in fact sometimes used as a term of endearment.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 66
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 5:41:44 PM
ERP msg 115, Judaism is a religion, but there are those of Hebrew decent, thus they are called Jews and were slaughtered as such, because of both race and religion. You can hear people say this person has a "Jewish nose" and that is because of that persons heritage to the Hebrews...

The other is this
Tay-Sachs disease, the most well known Jewish genetic disease, is an inherited metabolic disorder. http://www.mazornet.com/genetics/tay-sachs.htm
if they were not also a race of people, there would not be a disorder specifically genetically linked to them..

The point I was trying to make, and you pointed this out well, is that Caucasian are a blend of races for the most part, and the Jewish people have taken an extremely hard hit through out history for their ancestry, and or religion.

If this woman didn't like his son because he was Jewish, she would be considered a bigot; however she is a racist, because her issue was the child's race.

The point I want to make is that if it isn't obvious, and being of the Jewish faith if it is not through heritage can go unnoticed... Does this mean this father is required to disclose that about his son as well???

Does he have to disclose whether the childs' been circumsized, or that he has a mongolian patch???

This is NONE of that womans business, unless, and until she is to be considered a major part of the family, even then some things would not be her concern..

Why wasn't the bi racial aspect disclosed??? Because there shouldn't be a factor of whether that child is lovable, and worthy of being treated like a son... She took his race as a problem, that makes her racist, like it or not. People can defend her all they want, but the fact remains she had a problem with the child's status as bi racial, bigot, racist take your pick... What makes it worse is that she wants to lump a lot of other women in her world of racism...

There is racism a live and well, and people willing to defend it...
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 67
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 8:55:37 PM

Oh, and btw, if i were dating a white woman with another race baby i'd feel WEIRD walking around walmart with them. People WOULD look and question it. It'd be OBVIOUS it wasn't my kid. Who wants to deal with crap like that when they don't have to?


As if anyone needed yet another reason to stay the hell away from Wal-Mart...
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 68
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 9:53:13 PM
Did the Op ever say what 2 races were combined? I read the thread, but didnt see it. Are we just assuming it was Caucasion and Black? could be Indian, Native American, Black, Spanish, Asian, Hawaiian, numerous others. Really, arent we all a mixture of colors/cultures? I myself am a mixture, but my mix happens to be light skinned. Skin tone is a protection, anyway, from the sun. The closer to the equator, the darker the skin, usually. Silly thing to argue, really. Everyone has the same body parts, and the blood is interchangeable, unless there is some idiosyncrasy in it.
 1Keith7
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 69
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 10:41:06 PM
Thanks for all the wonderful responses.
You just proved what I knew all along that most women (Caucasian, black, yellow, green etc etc) and men will not make an issue out of the race of a child. Yes I did ask for a bit of an explanation when she said that and she said something along the lines of not looking like a complete/real family when we went out...something akin to what someone just posted about "walking in Walmart".

All in all, i am glad the my son met him only once and infact didnt pay much attention to her because he was all interested in telling me about his trip his mum's and all the places they went.

For those of you who asked - My ex is a beautiful BLACK woman.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 70
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 11:00:34 PM
I'm at a loss..I can't even imagine. All I can say , is that no matter how much you clicked or how nice she seemed...There is obviously a huge fundamental difference between you two..and you are lucky to be done with her.
I completely call BS on the statement that most caucasian women would have issue with it...most women I know, wouldn't even think twice about it, including me.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 71
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/3/2009 11:43:18 PM

I immediately thought black. Funny how that works...


Yep, and many of us did too! I have noticed the stigma going away more and more as the "old ways" die off. Or perhaps I'm just being hopeful LOL.

I know my parents were not keen on any of us kids dating someone black, and they also weren't keen on homosexuality.

I, on the other hand would have no problems with a child of mine dating any race they damn well please and homosexuality wouldn't bother me either, other than my initial worry about my child having to hide it for too long.

Remember, a parent's influence on a child is so strong.


LOL cjsmiles30, yes my parents said that to us kids too... You can take a look at my new husband, he's Korean/African American... Poor man's mother berated him and his sister to death for their black heritage... Until he met me he felt great shame for his heritage, and since he lived in Hawaii most his child hood, he would tell people he was Hawaiian...

I can't force him to embrace all of himself, BUT I can help him know that I love and accept him for the wonderful person he is, and that his unique mix gives him his exotic look, AND outlook on life...

I agree there is NO debating with these people, and I can also say my parents have been directly told if they have an issue they can f off, because my guy treats me with love, kindness, acceptance, just flat out treats me very good... We have our typical issues, I love dogs and have them, and he doesn't and never had them... BUT we get past it by compromise, and working through those things we have differing opinions...

Some one else posted we all face some sort of prejudice, which is very true, and it may seem hard to believe for some who face harsh judgment without merit...

OP I think you have gotten some good insight and understand some people are all about appearance, she spelled that out by stating we won't look like a family... WOW, just WOW, so if you have an adopted child you are less date worthy as well... Pffffttttt, you are better off knowing how shallow she is in her thinking...
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 72
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/4/2009 4:56:09 AM

2. Is it also true that most Caucasian women see this as an issue?


I've seen the same in other races as well. I seen a guy who was biracial black/white. Some of his peers told him he was not "black" enough.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 73
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/4/2009 7:47:15 AM
my son married a woman with a half black son...this child is 10 now and seems to have emotional problems...very shy and insecure...having a child out of your race is asking a child to live a life that is challenging to say the least...the parents have to deal with issues which create guilt and these mixed signals result in emotional problems for the child...my father and mother had issues over the fact my mother was hispanic...my brother married an asian and there were bigoted remarks by my mother about that...no one thinks they are prejudice...but those feeling bubble up to the surface because none of us is an angel even though everyone thinks they are...
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 74
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/4/2009 9:22:15 AM

All in all, i am glad the my son met him only once and infact didnt pay much attention to her because he was all interested in telling me about his trip his mum's and all the places they went.

Oh good. So from his POV she's just a random adult he met once; unlikely he'll give her a second thought. That's good, anyway! And it appears he had a good time on his trip with his mother. Nice!
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 75
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/4/2009 11:29:55 AM
That's rather insane. On the other hand, if that really is the reason, better that she extricate herself from the situation rather than letting your son deal with a racist idiot.

And no, race shouldn't be an issue here. I'd have no problem with this, and she's projecting her issues onto others. Chalk it up to idiocy and see her exit as another bullet dodged.
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