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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > My son is a "deal-breaker" because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!      Home login  
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 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 76
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Wow a half black kid a deal breaker? Anyone remember a guy name Obama because last I checked, he was Bi-racial too and maybe I'm wrong but he's also the President of an incredibly powerful nation, I think it's Canada but not sure. Even if your close minded girlfriend was smokin hot, just dump that republican Ann Coulter wannabe to the curb and find yourself a nice openminded democrat.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 77
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 5:56:21 AM
If it weren't for the racists, there wouldn't BE a problem with people of multi-racial ethnicities. People are people and their skin color, eye color, facial features, etc. should be a determining factor in who they are or whether or not they are accepted by others. The only thing that should determine a person's worth is WHO he/she is as a person. Not their appearance.
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 78
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 6:55:19 AM
She really needs to stretch her mind . But until/or unless she does - losing her sounds like a very good thing , regardless of your other compatibilites !
Especially regarding your son . He sure doesn't need that kind of narrow-minded bigoted thinking around him !

And no - I'd say most woman are not like that .
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 79
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 7:24:42 AM

Is there anyone out there that honestly thinks anyone is going to come out and admit they would have a problem with it?


Actually most of us know that someone's child is their extended heart and soul, and would probably kill if need be to protect their child... Those of us who get that would find something else to state, because whether it has to do with the child being Bi racial or not, people with tact would know it was their opinion and preferences not others...

This POOR woman, who can defend herself, and isn't here, doesn't even know there is a discussion about her, so unless you feel the need to contact her for her view, what does it matter if a bunch of strangers think her action are racists, or behaving like a bigot...

Key words, "Action and behaving," that doesn't say she IS...

Sometimes being blatantly honest can be left alone...

As well we all have opinions and a lot of ours disagrees with your assessment that what you perceive as a "problem FOR the op", the mans child is once again his joy, bi racial or not, and he's NOT ashamed of his son, or the gf he had... Thus she was the one so worried about appearances...

I don't see a bunch a of people "crying foul", I see a bunch of people calling it like they see, just as you are doing...

As for this woman living in reality, who's, hers that apparently agrees with your reality???

Plenty of peoples reality that race, religion, creed, and personal choice is only a problem is someone makes it a problem... Bi racial is soooooo not new...

As for it being a preference, I don't think so in this case... She ISN'T dating the little boy, she's dating the father, thus she is still dating HER race... Having an issue with who he has been with in the past is a negative issue she has towards his son...
 makeba
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 80
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 7:46:57 AM

I have nothing against people outside my race, and respect and love them just like the next person, but to be intimate or a relationship, I prefer to stay with my own race.
Lisa ...who said the woman was to be intimate with the little boy? She is dating the man who is HER race. Refusing to date someone because he has been intimate with someone of another race is for all intents and purpose bigotry! Or that your race is better than the other race and hence you will be contaminated? Hmmm..!!! Quite interesting. It doesnt say in your profile that you want ONLY your race. And you are only a 1st generation Canadian? I wonder what you'll be like if you were like 4th or 5th generation.
And whiles at it, what is your race anyway? Because ALL my Portuguese (and also Italian) friends - school and work colleagues don't consider themselves as Caucasians.
 TOMic bomb
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 81
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 8:16:35 AM
some people don't like to have to deal with other cultures so there are legitimate reasons for not wanting a person with bi racial children.

jews don't GENERALLY like it when someone in their family marries or dates a non jew.

dealing with a culture that has different VALUES than your own can be extremely frustrating. you have to deal with the children's other parent and their value system.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 82
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 9:14:30 AM

my son married a woman with a half black son...this child is 10 now and seems to have emotional problems...very shy and insecure...having a child out of your race is asking a child to live a life that is challenging to say the least..


I was a substitute teacher in CA schools for seven years. During that time, I met literally hundreds of children. Emotional problems exist in all races, religions, and socioeconomic strata--in fact, some of the worst emotional problems I saw were in white children whose parents either abused or deserted them. Unless there is a biological problem such as bi-polarism that affects a person, the most important aspect of emotional well-being is how well parents do their parenting.


dealing with a culture that has different VALUES than your own can be extremely frustrating. you have to deal with the children's other parent and their value system.


This is very subjective, especially in the US where so many people of various cultures interact on a daily basis. It is even more subjective when it comes to people of color. For instance, last spring I had a class with two black students. One came from an upper class family, very well-to-do and she said she was raised in an all white neighborhood. The other student had a white mother and black father (dad was largely absent) and was raised in very poor socioeconomic circumstances.

So, the first young woman is black but her "culture" is affluent suburbia--with whom should she "consort"? The second young woman, extremely bright and creative, had the audacity (that sarcasm, folks) to marry outside both of her cultures and wed a Hispanic!

And not only that, she jokingly said to me that her husband's family had lived so long in the US that he "doesn't realize he is Mexican."


some people don't like to have to deal with other cultures so there are legitimate reasons for not wanting a person with bi racial children.


They should just admit their bigotry and not sugar-coat it with excuses. Weak people can't take conflict and can't work to overcome problems. Strong people forge on despite external conflicts.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 83
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 11:53:10 AM

And all this blahblahblah about values or people "of colour" having a "different value system"...what the hell...I don't know many cultures that don't value the same things "white" people do...love, respect, honesty, kindness, compassion...the golden rule...all of that is pretty much universal in all cultures.


LOL, I sooooo agree Danielle, going from well she doesn't date out of her race, to well it must be she didn't want to deal with the child "culture" is asinine...

My oldest daughters father is Hispanic, however he's a three generation American, and I am her white momma... She is no more culturally Hispanic, then I am culturally German, both her and I had American up bringing, and that makes us both of the American race...

The op never said this child' momma came from any other place either...

Not one of us has the same cultural styles even living in America... in 02 I went back to NYC, and was in shock to see them bumper bump when parking... Out here if the other person who owned the car that got their bumper bumped would be kicking ass if, or getting a license plate number to issue a complaint of hit and run.

As well some of the gals I met at the New years ever party was shocked I would fly out East just to check things out, and said that people back their always wonder what the other persons agenda is if another person is friendly...

Damn, that to me and the folks I'm around is common friendliness, not much more for the majority...

This isn't to pick on New Yorkers, but rather to say white, green, purple, orange, in the same country people can be as different as they can be the same...

I am glad people want to "rescue this poor woman's " intent as being understandable, but really, she demonstrated bigotry and racism... People hate stuff candy coated, but when a person is called out, other want to coat her behavior... Perhaps it is to justify their own lack of tolerance as well?????
 Ghost Reader
Joined: 9/12/2009
Msg: 84
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 2:34:36 PM
When someone distinguishes between races ...They instantly become an "ist"
what we need is a new "Politcally correct "term , for those , who judge them..
Uumm .... How about "Hypocrite"
 001-100
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 85
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 3:45:07 PM

still don't believe that this woman left you for this reason. I still think, based on your comments on other threads, she was one of many fwb and didn't dig that. I think you wanted to have an excuse and this would bring you sympathy on the threads

You sound very sour that the OP talked about FWB. Just reading that post, he never mentioned he had "many". If you support what this woman gave as the reason for leaving, just come out and say it like the Rock Man has done and stop castigating the OP because of a previous post.

Rock Man: Even though I disagree with your point of view, I respect you for sticking with it as a matter of fact.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 86
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My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/6/2009 6:16:00 PM

Most people would never come into the threads and openly say they are a racist and agree with her. They would be ripped to shreds. By nothing more then a mod of hypocrites!


Sure they have, some are less blatant about it, however now matter what color a person splashes on the issue, and is stating an opinion about the issue, they have came out and SAID what they felt about the issue...

I am not sure if people are arguing, so much as just expressing their opinion...

Rock you are more direct, I don't think it is hypocritical of others to state an opinion, because that is how they feel... No matter the side of the issue they are taking, that is what they think...

Society has "labels" generally to define someones behavior, or feelings...Stating what this womans behavior is with a label I don't think should be considered something bad, because it is being honest with how that person perceives that behavior, and or the situation...

LOL, call people hypocrites is certainly yet another LABEL that is being attached to how YOU perceive others behaviors...

I was raised with world class racists... In fact I am sure despite how hard I have work in over coming it, my oldest daughter at 15 asked me if I was a racists... I asked her why she would think that, and she said because I didn't like rap...

She was learning to grasp racism and bigotry herself, however not liking rap has nothing to do with how I see the people who perform it, no more than what I thought of those that play country... What would a be a bigot against country, because it isn't on my top ten list either???

One other term... Tolerance does have anything to do with having a bleeding heart, nor an inability to see the truth or reality... It just means that "THOSE PEOPLE" have gotten past looking at other peoples race, skin color, culture, creed and or religion as something good or bad, but rather they have a tolerance for it all...

I have to say I have no problem in stating my opinion about tolerance and acceptance, yet hold no ill thought towards those who choose not to have it...
 supersayianjim
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 87
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 12/7/2009 2:22:31 PM
well as a black man(with no kids) who dates white women (a majority) of them still(even though obama won) still don't like,appreciate,respect, and would never date a black man.
and accepting and being around the black gene(even if its 50%) is like the boogey man. they will not go for it. ask some white women on this site(take a poll) have they dated a black man(or even outside of thier race) and the pickings are slim.

and usually if they wont date a black man they wont like a "halfrican child".
So if youre in doubt ask that question and listen to the response. ask youre white women counterparts that have black children(thats youre best bet). seems that a lot of people ehat to keep the white race pure. so making interrical dating(or same race dating in youre case) very difficult..
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 88
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 3/28/2010 5:32:46 AM
Its really her choice, whether or not I agree with it is irrelavant........I don't know what other white women think of this...I have never done a survey and there are people of all races who might have a problem with it and ones who won't.

That is a fact.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 89
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 3/28/2010 6:40:21 AM
So the lady was

A. A racist (which would show honesty, wether you like or agree with it or not)
or
B. Was making an excuse. (which is dishonest)

People cry about wanting others to be honest but this is a perfect example of the hipocrisy around us.

Either way, just be glad she's gone (for your sons sake atleast)
 guyinacorner
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 90
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 3/28/2010 9:46:44 AM
my son is of mixed race. Ive never even thought of this as an issue. I hope it's not.
though race has become an issue where it shouldnt have several times now.

either way the woman your talking about sounds like a ****. your far better off without her
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 9/19/2010
Msg: 91
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 10/23/2010 7:38:16 AM
She is a bigot who you are well rid of.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever that should have mattered a whit to this caucasion woman; and if someone is truly that narrowminded and prejudiced that they would reject a parent because of an innocent child; you're very much better off.

No, she does not represent all us caucasion woman. And no, you should not have to vet the racial genetics of your child in the getting into a relationship.

What a sad, sad situation. She is the naive one.
 citygal95
Joined: 10/14/2010
Msg: 92
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 10/28/2010 7:52:23 PM
2. Is it also true that most Caucasian women see this as an issue?


It wouldn't be a problem for me. While I don't think this would apply to most white women ( or people in general ). It's not uncommon or rare for some people not to date someone with a mixed race child or even not to date someone who had a previous boy/girlfriend from a different race.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 93
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 10/29/2010 10:32:39 AM

It's not uncommon or rare for some people not to date someone with a mixed race child or even not to date someone who had a previous boy/girlfriend from a different race.

That's a bummer, even though you're probably right.

My most successful relationships, including my current one, have been with ladies of a different race and/or culture.
 lilly6229
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 94
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 10/31/2010 10:59:01 AM
OMG, is she serious? move on. this woman has an empty head and not worth your time
 1suburbs
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 95
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/2/2010 8:31:44 PM

It wouldn't be a problem for me. While I don't think this would apply to most white women ( or people in general ). It's not uncommon or rare for some people not to date someone with a mixed race child or even not to date someone who had a previous boy/girlfriend from a different race.


Unfortunately she is right. One of my ex-boyfriends ended a relationship with me when he found out that one of my other previous boyfriend was black.
 packard77
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 96
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/9/2010 9:23:36 PM
Why can't we all get along nicely. :(
 1eastshore
Joined: 11/3/2010
Msg: 97
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/10/2010 8:20:17 PM

It wouldn't be a problem for me. While I don't think this would apply to most white women ( or people in general ). It's not uncommon or rare for some people not to date someone with a mixed race child or even not to date someone who had a previous boy/girlfriend from a different race.


Sadly I would have to agree with this. It's one thing not to be attracted to other races. But not dating someone because of the race of their ex is narrow minded to say the least. If I'm in this situation with a man, I would lie and say that I never had interracial sex. But after having sex with him, I will tell him the truth.

 OSUguy99
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 98
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/10/2010 10:18:47 PM
you know, after the knee jerk reaction that it could be kind of discriminating, and looking at it subjectively i dont find it offensive. in my opinion it takes a hell of a person to step into a step parent role anyway, and there could be hardship with the kid anyway. this does change the dynamic and could add to the resentment of her by the kid. she was also honest about something so pc sensitive, which is respectable. it got me to thinking, i would be hesitant getting into a relationship with a woman with a kid anyway. i have to admit it would be even more so in this situation, because i think it COULD add resentment that there is a culture in the kid that wouldnt be represented in the home. could cause identity issues or a left out feeling. to me its not the situation itself, just another POSSIBLE hurdle in a situation id probably avoid anyway. i also think with something like this youll get alot of pc answers from people who wouldnt practice what they preach if the shoe was on there foot, not a hypothetical question to be answered. just sayin.
 packard77
Joined: 11/5/2010
Msg: 99
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/12/2010 2:44:00 PM

if I met a white woman with a bi-racial kid, I would view her as a woman that likes black men, and I would be sexually turned off.
WOW!!! Are you for real? Just because she has a bi-racial child. Hmmm!!! Im still stunned!
I thought your kind were extinct!
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 100
My son is a deal-breaker because he is BI-RACIAL! She says!
Posted: 11/12/2010 6:23:32 PM

The kid isn't the issue, however, I have a problem being with a white woman that gets down with the bruthas


I feel you my man. You will always think she is comparing you in the d .ck department. And your ego can't take that kind of beating. They don't call you guys cau asians for nothing.

I have a white friend that was telling me a story about going to a sex shop with his g/f. While in the shot he said the girl(who happened to be white also) picked up this big black toy and said to him " This reminds me of my ex who was black" he said every time he has sex with her after that he got a complex, knowing he could never compete with the size of that toy. So believe me I aint mad at you.....I know where u are coming from.
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