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Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 23
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Am I asking too much of someone?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Do not listen to anyone who tells you that you are asking too much!
That is narrow minded.. She ask if it is "too much of someone", follow the threads and you will find that men have the same kind of issues as women, and BOTH genders take issue with someone that has children, and aren't able to support their children...

We don't have to like it one bit, however it is easy to say there isn't a problem, when the reality is, guys in both of your age groups are hard pressed to jump into someone with a child, and no job...

I have seen the total party girls that don't miss a beat in their dating life, however that doesn't work for everyone...

I am not, not working through choice, and will gladly take any work that is offered to me, but I don't understand why being made redundant and trying to find another job, should make seem like 'burden' to someone.

No it isn't a matter of wanting to be unemployed, however even people who don't have children have problems getting dates while being unemployed... Not all of them, however enough to really stir up dust on the forums....

It would be great if we lived in a perfect world where people understood another' person's issues at the time, but that doesn't happen as often as we'd like... Once again read the forums and the intense complaints about being left out in the single abyss..

Continue what you are doing while you are trying to find a job, as well as keep your focus on balancing life with school, work, and raising kids...

As I said, I've been there, walked that path, and even back then the noses went up from both men, and even just making friends with women... Remember these people don't know you, and in a day and age where people are ruthless at taking advantage of others....

Keep yourself busy, happy and make it through the threes, the fours get really interesting...

Good luck
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 25
Am I asking too much of someone?
Posted: 12/10/2009 9:40:02 AM

Who picks up the tab?

The benefits system she paid into via the tax contributions she made until she was made redundant. It's what it is there for.

Using these benefits in the short term after losing your job is what the system is for. Staying at home by choice until your child is of school age and expecting the tax payers to foot the bill is NOT what the system is for.

As said in a different thread, what would happen if everyone made that decision? I am sure there isn't one parent out there that wouldn't rather be with their child than at work; but we understand that we must work to provide for our families (and apparently yours too)....
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 27
Am I asking too much of someone?
Posted: 12/10/2009 12:25:33 PM
1st off, a disability or injury is not the same as making a conscious decision to stay home because you "prefer it".

2nd, everything you have said in your post is about the costs of childcare and the difficulty of getting a good paying job with young kids. Suck it up princess, you and your ex had the children, it is your responsibility to provide for them. (again, exceptions made for honest disabilities and short term assistance)
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 29
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Am I asking too much of someone?
Posted: 12/26/2009 7:59:48 PM

I thought I'd update the thread by saying that I am now working after being offered a job just before Christmas. I now earn a decent wage earning well above minimum wage and am now more then able to support myself and family financially.
Was also curious if this changes people's views at all?

Of course this would change the opinion of many people. You now seem to be looking for someone that would compliment your life and make it better and do not come across as someone looking for a paycheck guy. (not that I took you that way but many would).
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 30
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Am I asking too much of someone?
Posted: 12/27/2009 7:27:55 AM
Hi gemk86, I just wanted you to know, that you haven't asked for much at all. Its called simply being treated as a human, first. It seems that single moms have to face so much encountering this world, being a young mother is not a crime. You are a mother that is trying to maintain your family and I applaud the way that you and the baby's father have come together and worked things out for now. I say, keep up the good work and don't take second in a personal relationship. As you continue to build yourself you will encounter those that are worth the time. Finding men that are understanding and considerate are out there you just have to have faith.

Continue being you, with love and grace javascript:smilie('')

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