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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff      Home login  
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 Sentin
Joined: 6/18/2005
Msg: 51
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuffPage 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Ok...so the way i see it, nobody here has responded to the real surprise of this thread....
that being: there was a guy out there who had the opportunity to hook up with you on a regular basis and passed it up???
sigh...some guys have all the luck.
Y.
www.mcgillunderground.com/subjectx
 SexyandBrainy
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 52
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 7/13/2005 10:59:19 PM
don't get me wrong passion I agree with you these are some very confusing times for the genders. Women have gained a lot of power in the workplace and this spilled over into the dating world. Financial independence is what makes women more "picky" these days it's not necessarily that we are shallow it's just that we literally "don't need" men to survive anymore of course we want you in our lives because life is better loving you but it's not a necessity to form a home anymore. Now back to the topic...within the one night stand women there are two kinds of women: "I'm doing it and I am cool with it." they enjoy their sexuality and they are happy living like this. Then there are the types of women that "think" they can handle it and can't and that's where the famous question "why don't men call after one night stands" arises. If you are truly honestly just out for good time, you shouldn't care if "they call". But I know even guy friends have told me THEY don't even feel good about one night stands after they happen...so what we should all do is stop to think that maybe sex should be something we share with someone that means something to us...and not as a tool of "getting" something.

And this is for both genders: if you don't respect yourself enough to know what you want, why sould somebody else?
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 53
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 11/29/2005 1:39:23 AM
Number 1 rule - anywhere , anytime...if you dont want to have sex you dont have to

every adult, male and female, under the sun, could get worked up in that situation...but if you dont wish to proceed any further just say so. Its up to both adults to behave responsibly. S---xual disappointment/ frustration doesnt only happen to men, it happens to females as well. In a way it can be fun to stop ,start, stop and build up the tension between you over a while i fyou intend to date a while. Just make sure you are clear BEFORE you get into those situations and tell them in future BEFORE you start kissing and making out you dont intend to have sex. If either of you change your mind down the track then say so, but remember the other one always has the right to say no and that it goes both ways. That's including for men. [ Yes men do say "no" also ]

But if you are really worried about those situations dont go home alone with men you dont know ...and with whom you dont have some kind of idea how you both interact together

Cheers !!
 Tinkle
Joined: 11/2/2005
Msg: 54
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 11/29/2005 5:08:24 AM
Don't go back to his house to begin with? Get number go out on a date later to get to know him. Rinse and repeat til u feel good about the sex?
 TiredDaddy
Joined: 5/20/2005
Msg: 55
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/8/2005 11:19:22 AM
I know that women believe that men won't have a relationship with a woman who has sex with him on the first date.

I personally don't believe that. I think men fall in love too and if she is the "right one" then he will be calling her right away whether she had sex with him or not....

There are men that are out there trying to fill up a score card...but I would hope you would see through that bull long before the trip to his house....
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 56
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/8/2005 1:13:46 PM
I wish that has happened to me but with a woman , ... I can dream , they are free anyhow.

Yup alot of women do go to clubs to find relationships with the same guy all chicks screw with , guys look to get laid , best place to find women otherwise it is agonizingly hard unless you pay for a hooker
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 57
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/8/2005 3:47:52 PM
I am celibate , women in bars still will not give me thier numbers normally , if by a miracle I ge to dance with one , still not easy to get a number , too beneath them I guess , yeah that is how I think womenin this site see me , beneath them , yeah you too.
 bluemystery
Joined: 9/18/2004
Msg: 58
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/8/2005 4:17:17 PM
Absolutely have to agree with rockwell. The vast majority of guys at clubs are there for not only sex, but for trophies, games, and to feed their own egos.
In my experience, women who agree to sex on the first night will probably lose my respect and I likely wouldn't call until the next time I wanted non commital sex if at all. (This has only happened twice in my life anyway)
If I meet someone at a club, and they are still interested after the charm of their alcohol buzz has worn off, and in the light of day, I am more likely to stick around and explore the deeper possibilities.
 kitsguy4u
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 59
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 3/22/2006 1:46:56 AM
First off she made a bad choice in going back to his place. unless she knows she wants sex. she doenst know if he is a nice guy or if he is a drunk player that isnt going to take no for an answer.
As for sex on the first date...this wasnt a date..this was going out clubbing and getting lucky and is a hook up nothing more...she shouldnt expect a call back. He might call if he is interested but if he just wanted sex then he has had it and wont call.

There is that problem of when is it too soon or too late for sex...have it too soon then he might just be in it for sex and if it doesnt happen he might give up.

For women it would be best to assume that the guy is wanting to get laid when he askes you home after the club. he might say he isnt but he is probably thinking he will just charm you or the booze in your system will change your mind.

If she really likes him then she should just tell him not tonight we just met...when she leaves she can let him know that she really does like him and why not ask him out for another day?

Just because he is hot and horny doesnt mean he has to have it and she has to give it to him. He wont die. And if he gets mad then thats all he wanted...if he is interested in the girl he will be looking forward to the next meeting.

She should never feel guilty..he was the one working himself into the frenzy. But she should realize that going to a guys place after the bar she has to expect him to paw her. If she wants a date to watch a movie she should just give him her number and say she is free the next night and would love to see the video..at 2:30 am its not the time to start a date. If he doesnt call then she knows he wasnt interested in her but just sex.

Any guy that is really interested isnt going to need sex the first meeting!
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 60
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/7/2006 7:54:29 AM
I would not know , never took a girl home after I picked her up .... mmmm in fact I have not gotten a date for over a year , I wish I had your problem onece in a couple of years .
 Ghost of EO
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 61
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/7/2006 1:57:40 PM
the worst mistake that someone in this position can ever make is to assume that the guy will just shrug it off and be okay. in cases like this many (not all) women stick to the belief that at any time u can just stop. situations like this are very agrivating to men who only see that something is about to happen and then a second before everything stops. " a women should be able to say stop and i guy do it" a common belief of women and it is true but one must be wary of getting one's self into a situation where u end up ruining a potentially good experience based on cold feet. if u don't want things like this to happen when u meet a guy at a club and he walks u or drives u home. if u don't want to be phisical just say so and stick to it most guys and in the case of men most women will respect that.
 jeffieb1
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 62
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/7/2006 2:50:23 PM
prolly not safe going to a guys place unless u know him. Too many freaks ya know
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 63
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:48:49 PM
she should leave

even better, she shouldn't go back to his home in the first place, especially when she didn't know him... and after a night drinking together...

if she wants to get to know him and the feeling's mutual, then perhaps meeting up the day after, sober and able to chat without slurring might help in achieving that aim, with less likelihood of said pawing sessions
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 64
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:08:44 PM

They get to his place and the paws start goin...... she sais no, they just met, ( not because she doesnt want to , but because she likes him and wants to get to know him) After a while she feels guilty because the guy has worked himself into a horny frienzy

IF, she said "no" when the "pawing" started, how did he get so worked up? It doesn't sound like the "no" was as forthcoming as described, but perhaps said after the frenzied, horny state was attained. That, to me, sounds like a tease (based on the description of the rest of the evening and signals) and would explain why no call back.





~ds~
 TJ615
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 65
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 10:11:03 PM
Well first of all never bring a guy back to your place from a bar. If course they are only going to be thinking about one thing. If you are really interested and his intentions are true he won't mind shooting you a text or giving you a call in the next day or two. Slow and steady is always the best bet.
 farmboy294
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 66
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:10:17 PM
I am very glad a woman has asked this question, because to be honest i have been that guy she is referencing. If i've been enjoying some adult beverages and a girl agrees to come back to my place, honestly, I'm all but expecting sex. If sober circumstances are much different. In fact i've liked a few of the girls that I met on what i thought was a 1 nighter, but get ready for this... she was the one just looking for sex and didn't call me back. My personal advice is give him your number, but just because he doesn't call doesn't mean he's not interested. In fact at the moment i have a girls number from a party earlier this weekend and i'm debating whether to call or not because i'm not sure she likes me.
 swtsunlvr
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 67
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/14/2008 10:05:37 PM
I think it's important to let the guy know right up front what your parameters for the evening will be.BEFORE the alcohol kicks in.
You just made eye contact across the floor.......
Everything looks about right,the height is good,dresses apropriately....
They flash a bright smile that says "yes, I have teeth"...........
They meander up by you and ask you to dance,politely....not gettin' right up on ya grindin'............
You have a nice dance that doesn't give all your secrets away the first five minutes.
Next step is to try to find a place to sit and chat a few minutes to get to know one another and let them know,you like them so far,but their won't be any sleepovers that same night even if all goes well.If you like each other,the chemistry is good,you've had a great time,then maybe they can take you home,and/or get your number for the second date.
This lets the guy know you like him,but you aren't an ole HO.Believe me,he'll respect you for it. Plus,men are wired to like the thrill of the chase.Give him enough flirts to be fun but not slutty,and the game is ON! He wants to be able to win that 2nd,3rd,4th date!!!
Don't be afraid to talk a little in the beginning just so both of you will be on the same page.
WHOO HOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 mister magoo
Joined: 12/23/2004
Msg: 68
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:39:43 AM
Ok, you are asking what goes on in our heads and only a few have answered that particular part of what you are looking for.. So here goes..

You came home with me, we are actually watching a movie, we touch, start to kiss... it has already gotten hot.. I am expecting or going to try my best to make it fo further... testign the waters but seeing you came hoem with me from a bar ai m not expecting a no or stop... now this is where it splits, depending on the guy.. one type (not me) will be so worked up he will neeed some kind of staisfaction.. he doesnt want "Blue Balls", he will either have to do it himself and be pissed off or you can help him out... we all know how.. but that might e degrading and he will agian expect you gt go further...

Or senondly, there is the type( me) that can handle that and making out is sufficent for the first "date"... and I have enough respect for a lady that I abide with her wishes,, ot sayign i am not disappointed fofcourse, but that would make me want to call or be called to carry on tgtting to know who you are and taking it further eventually... If the kisisng was nice.. there was a connceitio then I am so gonna call you the next day to make a dinner date or something...

Basically I guess it depends on the morals of the guy what goes through his head but it will quite honestly end up in wishing that they had gone further and

Alsohol will obviously effect the seenario as well and blurr some peoples judgemtns and moods..but you can be sure guys are usually horney and expecting to get laid if you are at his place after a club...Probably even if you have told them it isnt going to happen...
 cheryl000
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 69
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:03:00 PM
Even though I am a woman.............I totally agree with you Rushwi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said: SOME of us have hearts and brains as well.
Dont speak for us "hetrosexual" males OK ?

Maybe he feels it is what she wanted and thinks she is great. we all have feelings and who knows. she needs to communicate though...I wonder why she feels guilty or responsable for hi8s getting allhot and bothered...she shouldnt be going along with it all if she didnt want sex. what did expect him to do if not get turned on? soundslike he is getting mixed messages.
I met my last boyfriend in a bar and he was going for a beer after work and so was I. we were together for years and nearly got married but life didnt permit. I dont regret a minute of it. thunderstruck and lightning hit. lol
theproblem with adults is they all have additudes and baggage and no one can see others at face value anymore.
there are many good men out there and they should get the benefit of doubt just like the good women like me.....I listen to men complain about women who misused them in their life and i never did any of the things they talk about........
Dont be a SEXIST all you old farts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 whata1986
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 70
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/12/2011 5:34:23 PM
I have found it to be helpful to just be yourself. Tell him your boundaries. But let him know that you genuinely like him and Don't want to have sex with him because you don't want to ruin anything. If he can't accept that, then he isn't the right guy for you...

If I was dating an amazing woman in every single way, I wouldn't be angry at her becasue we didn't have sex.

And as far as what goes on in the mind of a man, It's 50 percent sex, and 50 percent relationship, that's if the lady is amazingly hott : )

Cheers
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 71
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/12/2011 11:17:27 PM
What goes on in his mind???? Can't speak for everybody but I myself am evaluating the situation but maybe not with common critera. I am applying standards to her but they seem to be unconventional ones.

A girl who puts me off for any reason is automatically out. -- If I wanted to pull teeth I would have gone to dental school like mother wanted.

Someone who is into it gets serious consideration because:
She is not obstinate.
She is not a game player.
She puts herself out there despite conventional wisdom -- she is brave.
If she makes it easy for me then I figure that I should make it easy for her.
After all these years I have been able to learn that first nighters love no less, are every bit as loyal and are abundantly more congenial.
An overall better bet.

This is not to say that everyone who sleeps with me gets a relationship but they all have a good chance if they want one. The others? Everybody gets to tell me "NO" once -- on the last moment I see them.

I offer this bit as a counterweight to the aholes who press girls to sleep with them then turn around and call them sluts and to the prigs. More "affectionate" girls are not automatically disqualified. I don't know absolute numbers but they are not zero. More guys, especially older ones, are adopting my strategy all the time. Women, especially older ones, do not really have to worry about "making a mistake" and screwing things up anymore. More older guys are beginning to take it for granted that you have a history, hoping like hell you have some desire left and like it that you show them that kind of interest. The "reputation" song and dance sends them the other direction. They heard it ten thousand times and it is getting old. There are few things more unpleasant than a crone that harps on being respected. There are few things more prized than a wife who still "has it".
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 72
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/13/2011 4:55:34 AM
F^%K N Chuck syndrome <------- This is too funny.. I've never heard it called that before.

OP, while there are guys who do have sex and leave there are also women who do the same thing. Men do this because they love sex and women deny they do it because they want a moral high ground.

However, I have never in my life heard a guy say, "I had great sex with a woman last night, I'm never going to call her again". Think about it for a minute, would you dump someone with whom you have had great sex? No. Chances are, there are other reasons like that person being married or having a significant other. No sane person throws away something good, it just doesn't happen. And, if a guy got good sex once you can bet he'll be back again so it really can't be the sex.

I'm sorry this happened to you...
 4asongkc
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 73
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 10:59:08 AM
Never, never, never, go home with anyone the very first day/night that you've met them. You don't know enough about them (nor them about you) to be doing that. It's a matter of personal safety more than anything. Make no mistake, you both may want to go to Disneyland with each other, that's no mystery. But what do you actually know about them? Beyond what they've told you there and then?

And what about the next day? Actor Ron Davis, son of the late former President Ronald Reagan, said his dad once told him, "Never sleep with anyone whom you'd be embarrassed to be seen walking down the street with". As attractive as the guy (or girl) might be, you don't know enough about each other to be doing something like that, so soon. Get to know each other first, as human beings. Your hormones will still be there when you DO finally go to Disneyland! ;-) Just sayin'...
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 74
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 7:22:28 PM
A large percentage of 1st nighters turn into one nighters. You should not sleep with someone you just met. You might actually not like each other later on. It turns into a mess.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 75
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 9:23:37 PM

But what do you actually know about them? Beyond what they've told you there and then?

Online? Almost always far more than I would have thought anyone would tell me before meeting me in person. I'm quiite surrised by people who meet each other and wasted the time before meeting them by not talking to them enough to know anything about them.

A large percentage of 1st nighters turn into one nighters. You should not sleep with someone you just met. You might actually not like each other later on. It turns into a mess.

On the other hand, you might. Good judgment counts.
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