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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff      Home login  
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 Ghost of EO
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 61
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuffPage 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
the worst mistake that someone in this position can ever make is to assume that the guy will just shrug it off and be okay. in cases like this many (not all) women stick to the belief that at any time u can just stop. situations like this are very agrivating to men who only see that something is about to happen and then a second before everything stops. " a women should be able to say stop and i guy do it" a common belief of women and it is true but one must be wary of getting one's self into a situation where u end up ruining a potentially good experience based on cold feet. if u don't want things like this to happen when u meet a guy at a club and he walks u or drives u home. if u don't want to be phisical just say so and stick to it most guys and in the case of men most women will respect that.
 jeffieb1
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 62
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 4/7/2006 2:50:23 PM
prolly not safe going to a guys place unless u know him. Too many freaks ya know
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 63
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:48:49 PM
she should leave

even better, she shouldn't go back to his home in the first place, especially when she didn't know him... and after a night drinking together...

if she wants to get to know him and the feeling's mutual, then perhaps meeting up the day after, sober and able to chat without slurring might help in achieving that aim, with less likelihood of said pawing sessions
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 64
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 8:08:44 PM

They get to his place and the paws start goin...... she sais no, they just met, ( not because she doesnt want to , but because she likes him and wants to get to know him) After a while she feels guilty because the guy has worked himself into a horny frienzy

IF, she said "no" when the "pawing" started, how did he get so worked up? It doesn't sound like the "no" was as forthcoming as described, but perhaps said after the frenzied, horny state was attained. That, to me, sounds like a tease (based on the description of the rest of the evening and signals) and would explain why no call back.





~ds~
 TJ615
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 65
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/4/2008 10:11:03 PM
Well first of all never bring a guy back to your place from a bar. If course they are only going to be thinking about one thing. If you are really interested and his intentions are true he won't mind shooting you a text or giving you a call in the next day or two. Slow and steady is always the best bet.
 farmboy294
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 66
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/7/2008 2:10:17 PM
I am very glad a woman has asked this question, because to be honest i have been that guy she is referencing. If i've been enjoying some adult beverages and a girl agrees to come back to my place, honestly, I'm all but expecting sex. If sober circumstances are much different. In fact i've liked a few of the girls that I met on what i thought was a 1 nighter, but get ready for this... she was the one just looking for sex and didn't call me back. My personal advice is give him your number, but just because he doesn't call doesn't mean he's not interested. In fact at the moment i have a girls number from a party earlier this weekend and i'm debating whether to call or not because i'm not sure she likes me.
 swtsunlvr
Joined: 9/20/2007
Msg: 67
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/14/2008 10:05:37 PM
I think it's important to let the guy know right up front what your parameters for the evening will be.BEFORE the alcohol kicks in.
You just made eye contact across the floor.......
Everything looks about right,the height is good,dresses apropriately....
They flash a bright smile that says "yes, I have teeth"...........
They meander up by you and ask you to dance,politely....not gettin' right up on ya grindin'............
You have a nice dance that doesn't give all your secrets away the first five minutes.
Next step is to try to find a place to sit and chat a few minutes to get to know one another and let them know,you like them so far,but their won't be any sleepovers that same night even if all goes well.If you like each other,the chemistry is good,you've had a great time,then maybe they can take you home,and/or get your number for the second date.
This lets the guy know you like him,but you aren't an ole HO.Believe me,he'll respect you for it. Plus,men are wired to like the thrill of the chase.Give him enough flirts to be fun but not slutty,and the game is ON! He wants to be able to win that 2nd,3rd,4th date!!!
Don't be afraid to talk a little in the beginning just so both of you will be on the same page.
WHOO HOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 mister magoo
Joined: 12/23/2004
Msg: 68
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 8:39:43 AM
Ok, you are asking what goes on in our heads and only a few have answered that particular part of what you are looking for.. So here goes..

You came home with me, we are actually watching a movie, we touch, start to kiss... it has already gotten hot.. I am expecting or going to try my best to make it fo further... testign the waters but seeing you came hoem with me from a bar ai m not expecting a no or stop... now this is where it splits, depending on the guy.. one type (not me) will be so worked up he will neeed some kind of staisfaction.. he doesnt want "Blue Balls", he will either have to do it himself and be pissed off or you can help him out... we all know how.. but that might e degrading and he will agian expect you gt go further...

Or senondly, there is the type( me) that can handle that and making out is sufficent for the first "date"... and I have enough respect for a lady that I abide with her wishes,, ot sayign i am not disappointed fofcourse, but that would make me want to call or be called to carry on tgtting to know who you are and taking it further eventually... If the kisisng was nice.. there was a connceitio then I am so gonna call you the next day to make a dinner date or something...

Basically I guess it depends on the morals of the guy what goes through his head but it will quite honestly end up in wishing that they had gone further and

Alsohol will obviously effect the seenario as well and blurr some peoples judgemtns and moods..but you can be sure guys are usually horney and expecting to get laid if you are at his place after a club...Probably even if you have told them it isnt going to happen...
 cheryl000
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 69
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 12/15/2008 5:03:00 PM
Even though I am a woman.............I totally agree with you Rushwi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He said: SOME of us have hearts and brains as well.
Dont speak for us "hetrosexual" males OK ?

Maybe he feels it is what she wanted and thinks she is great. we all have feelings and who knows. she needs to communicate though...I wonder why she feels guilty or responsable for hi8s getting allhot and bothered...she shouldnt be going along with it all if she didnt want sex. what did expect him to do if not get turned on? soundslike he is getting mixed messages.
I met my last boyfriend in a bar and he was going for a beer after work and so was I. we were together for years and nearly got married but life didnt permit. I dont regret a minute of it. thunderstruck and lightning hit. lol
theproblem with adults is they all have additudes and baggage and no one can see others at face value anymore.
there are many good men out there and they should get the benefit of doubt just like the good women like me.....I listen to men complain about women who misused them in their life and i never did any of the things they talk about........
Dont be a SEXIST all you old farts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 whata1986
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 70
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/12/2011 5:34:23 PM
I have found it to be helpful to just be yourself. Tell him your boundaries. But let him know that you genuinely like him and Don't want to have sex with him because you don't want to ruin anything. If he can't accept that, then he isn't the right guy for you...

If I was dating an amazing woman in every single way, I wouldn't be angry at her becasue we didn't have sex.

And as far as what goes on in the mind of a man, It's 50 percent sex, and 50 percent relationship, that's if the lady is amazingly hott : )

Cheers
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 71
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/12/2011 11:17:27 PM
What goes on in his mind???? Can't speak for everybody but I myself am evaluating the situation but maybe not with common critera. I am applying standards to her but they seem to be unconventional ones.

A girl who puts me off for any reason is automatically out. -- If I wanted to pull teeth I would have gone to dental school like mother wanted.

Someone who is into it gets serious consideration because:
She is not obstinate.
She is not a game player.
She puts herself out there despite conventional wisdom -- she is brave.
If she makes it easy for me then I figure that I should make it easy for her.
After all these years I have been able to learn that first nighters love no less, are every bit as loyal and are abundantly more congenial.
An overall better bet.

This is not to say that everyone who sleeps with me gets a relationship but they all have a good chance if they want one. The others? Everybody gets to tell me "NO" once -- on the last moment I see them.

I offer this bit as a counterweight to the aholes who press girls to sleep with them then turn around and call them sluts and to the prigs. More "affectionate" girls are not automatically disqualified. I don't know absolute numbers but they are not zero. More guys, especially older ones, are adopting my strategy all the time. Women, especially older ones, do not really have to worry about "making a mistake" and screwing things up anymore. More older guys are beginning to take it for granted that you have a history, hoping like hell you have some desire left and like it that you show them that kind of interest. The "reputation" song and dance sends them the other direction. They heard it ten thousand times and it is getting old. There are few things more unpleasant than a crone that harps on being respected. There are few things more prized than a wife who still "has it".
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 72
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/13/2011 4:55:34 AM
F^%K N Chuck syndrome <------- This is too funny.. I've never heard it called that before.

OP, while there are guys who do have sex and leave there are also women who do the same thing. Men do this because they love sex and women deny they do it because they want a moral high ground.

However, I have never in my life heard a guy say, "I had great sex with a woman last night, I'm never going to call her again". Think about it for a minute, would you dump someone with whom you have had great sex? No. Chances are, there are other reasons like that person being married or having a significant other. No sane person throws away something good, it just doesn't happen. And, if a guy got good sex once you can bet he'll be back again so it really can't be the sex.

I'm sorry this happened to you...
 4asongkc
Joined: 5/13/2011
Msg: 73
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 10:59:08 AM
Never, never, never, go home with anyone the very first day/night that you've met them. You don't know enough about them (nor them about you) to be doing that. It's a matter of personal safety more than anything. Make no mistake, you both may want to go to Disneyland with each other, that's no mystery. But what do you actually know about them? Beyond what they've told you there and then?

And what about the next day? Actor Ron Davis, son of the late former President Ronald Reagan, said his dad once told him, "Never sleep with anyone whom you'd be embarrassed to be seen walking down the street with". As attractive as the guy (or girl) might be, you don't know enough about each other to be doing something like that, so soon. Get to know each other first, as human beings. Your hormones will still be there when you DO finally go to Disneyland! ;-) Just sayin'...
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 74
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 7:22:28 PM
A large percentage of 1st nighters turn into one nighters. You should not sleep with someone you just met. You might actually not like each other later on. It turns into a mess.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 75
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/15/2011 9:23:37 PM

But what do you actually know about them? Beyond what they've told you there and then?

Online? Almost always far more than I would have thought anyone would tell me before meeting me in person. I'm quiite surrised by people who meet each other and wasted the time before meeting them by not talking to them enough to know anything about them.

A large percentage of 1st nighters turn into one nighters. You should not sleep with someone you just met. You might actually not like each other later on. It turns into a mess.

On the other hand, you might. Good judgment counts.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 76
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/19/2011 1:18:50 AM
some will think that a drunken roll in the sack on the first date is the best you got to give, and everything beyond that is drama, politics, tedium, and 'commitment'
and if you have given it up - he got his cookies, why stay around to see if the recipe improves.
 rtr73
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 77
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/19/2011 9:54:08 AM
Hate to say it but that is all guys expect from the clubbing scene. Otherwise he would have gotten your number and not invited you back in the first place. Clubs honestly are not a good way to meet a guy unless you are wanting to get laid. Maybe JMO but I think it holds some merit.
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/19/2011 12:41:56 PM
hello, um right off the bat there's a flaw here. you are dealing with a big fallacy,because first off in a case such as this we have to know what our intention is
the women in question at the club is playing the same game the guy is playing.
it's all about showing off the goods, so yes the women is leading the man on as he is leading her on . the intention is the same.

clubs are not places where people go to find a relationship, clubs, pubs ,bars, etc, are places where people go to hook up or get laid . in most cases there are no intentions of anything other then sex. haven't you ever gone to a zoo & saw the animals in action? take for example the male or female pea**** in this case we will speak about the male pea****what does he do? he exposes his beautiful feathers by floping his wings & singing songs; by floping his wings ;his feathers will be exposed showing forth all of his deep rich beautful colors. the females are attracted to bright rich colors.( human women are also attracted to bright objects hmm are you thinking diamonds ;gold etc?) he will then show off his building skills by building the best & biggest birds nest ,which he knows will attract a mate for mating his nest is bigger then the other nests in the area, so she will see it better & think wow that bird is rich.

hmm are you thinking Elvis Presley dressed in a gem studded jump sute singing on stage ,& sweating up a storm yet? He's the pea****in action.

notice in the end of your scinario he asks if she wants to come over to his nest ie house apartment. so he's the pea****showing off his big nest after singing & floping his feathers on the dance floor, & she's the female pee****showing off her goodies on the dance floor, so in the end she accepts the invite to come over.
the 2 birds are gonna have sex; no doubt about it the sex will happen, but we arent talking about birds are we, we are talking about humans.
so let's talk human.
in this case , she should have sex with the guy ,because she did lead him on & play the role with him,so it would be proper to have sex or do some foreplay or fool around ,maybe a little oral sex, but going all the way doesnt have to happen, but most likely it will end up going all the way because it has gone past the point of no return.
someone ie either gonna have to give in or get raped. it's that simple.

& if the sex does go down in many cases don't expect to make a relationship out of this because in the mind of the man he's thinking if she's willing to have sex with me on the first date; she's willing to do the same thing with another guy on the first date. so in cases such as this the women & the man is expendable. personally speaking if that was me, I wouldn't call the women back,because if she's doing me she's doing some one else, besides what women in her right mind is gonna call a guy the next day & expect to have a relationhip? she & the guy can't be trusted
clubs are designed for hook ups she's not looking to marry me, & vs versa.

I AM GONNA MAKE IT CLEAR NEVER NEVER EVER GO TO A STRANGERS HOUSE THAT YOU JUST MET ON THE STREET OR CLUB, CAUSE NOW HE'S IN CONTROL OF WHAT GOES DOWN,SO DON'T BE STUPID. & TAKE THE RISK.
WOMEN END UP EITHER DEAD OR STUFFED IN SOME CLOSIT. THERE'S ALOT OF PREDATORS OUT THERE & THEY TEND TO SEEM HARMLESS THEN THE TRAP IS SET. BE WISE , BE SMART , DON'T BE STUPID.
I hope this helped you & everyone else.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 79
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/19/2011 4:45:24 PM

- A girl goes to the club with her friends, she looks great, carries herself with class, in no way acts slutty. Sometime throughout the night she hooks up with a guy she would like to get to know, they chat dance, she in no way leads him to believe that she is going to sleep with him, but makes it obviouse she is interested.

-The end of the night comes and he asks her if she wants to come over for a bit to watch a movie, she accepts.


- A classy woman would not "hook up" with some guy right away. She would actually spend that first evening at the club TALKING to the guy and getting to know him, then arrange a proper DATE where she could double-check everything he told her the first night.

- A classy woman has all the time in the world. She doesn't need to rush over to some stranger's home the very night that she met him - indeed - in the late hours of the night when "classy" women are at home asleep.

OP - It's very clear you don't understand what "classy" means or the behaviors associated with it.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 80
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/19/2011 11:24:50 PM
Sex on the first night does at time lead to a relationship. The first time I met my ex wife, we had gone at it all night long!

What would turn the guy on the most? If the girl was being aggressive and forward!!!!

Why does he not call? Sure seems that he was interested in one thing.
 leadpipe1958
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 81
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/20/2011 8:57:49 AM
I have had long relationships +3 years and had sex on the first date.It just tells me that sex is not a hang up and that is not a bad thing.I put sex at about third behind trust and intelligence.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 82
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/20/2011 8:57:10 PM
First off, if she goes home with him on the first night, it's assumed that means hookup! Second you admit that she says NO "Not because she doesn't WANT TO..." Which means she WANTS to but feel it necessary to play games and try to gain the upper hand in the relationship! She isn't ready to date or have sex! ...Not until she grows up and learns to have sex when and IF she wants regardless of circumstance or perception... or to gain something....like respect, security, love, etc..


A free person has sex when they WANT to regardless of the other persons intentions... do that and you'll never get "played' again! .....And your sexual experiences will be much more enjoyable.
 xXBlindXx
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 83
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/21/2011 12:38:12 AM
judging guys on a whole is a lost cause. Every person is different. you could get into the mind of a priest and the next guy could be a serial killer.. "kinda freaky example" anyways same goes for sex. Even if you have sex on the first date with with 2 different guys you might not get the same result twice. If you say no to him on the first date. Than call him the next day and explain the reason why or maby he will call and ask who knows. If he doesn't answer try back again later "hang overs suck" he will probably wake up the next morning either embarrassed or feeling really stupid especially if you work together or have friends together "word travels quick". If you just met this guy call him and go out for a coffee or something and get to know each other and see how he acts not in the wild environment of a club or bar.

life's all about risks. gather your info and see if its worth taking the plunge, if you haven't gathered enough info and want to wait a bit longer hold back and try another day.
 mikel1964
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 84
Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/22/2011 3:53:09 PM
The number one problem is the meeting at a club,i try to be polite on here and get shot down and i'm a good man in my opinion.there are so many men that mis treat ladies that they tend to get tired of real gentle men.because all the buttheads pretend to begentlemen and confuse women.men that you meet at clubs are truly looking for one thing only.if you want a good man meet for a soft drink one time then dinner the second time and then let things grow into what they will.that's about the only sound advice i can give without sounding preachy i hope this helps in some way.
 GreenEyeItalianGuy
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 85
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Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff
Posted: 6/24/2011 8:50:43 PM
you went over his house the first night you met him! i have my pants off right then and there if that was the case.

i will say this though, the girls that i have banged the first night i met i usually lose interest in. marked my territory and on to the next spot
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