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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 79
How many guys let women do the chasing?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

I didn't read everyone's post, so I apologize in advance if I'm being redundant...but my guy friends have given me the impression that they don't like being chased in the least bit.

I couldn't tell you how many times one of them would say to me "GAWD! She texted me 3 times yesterday!!" or "She called me twice over the weekend! "

They told me that when a woman does that she comes off as clingy and its a major turnoff...

Big difference between chasing a guy without really knowing if he's interested/contacting him more than necessary and trying to fix what ain't broken, and showing clear interest and letting him know that if he wants to put an equal effort in it'll be beneficial. I agree that what you listed as clingy and pushy is, in fact clingy and pushy by either sex unless it's literally requested.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 83
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2010 5:05:11 AM
Personally I like more aggressive women who ask for what they want instead of making me guess... I let THEM initiate on here and IRL. Once I know they're not playing games I meet them halfway, but if They play that game of getting your attention then wanting you to chase.... sorry won't do it! If a woman lets me know she likes me I'll let her know I'm interested too and will participate equally in the courting.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 85
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:57:02 AM
I think both people should be willing to pursue each other. If one person is doing all or most of the work, then he or she may think the other person isn't that interested and will move on.


I agree for the most part. I'm pretty aggressive and will pursue a man I'm interested in, as long as he returns my interest. If I get the feeling I'm doing most of the work, I will back off. If he then steps back up to the plate, I will pursue again. Sometimes, it can feel like a dance---back and forth.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 89
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/23/2010 12:21:18 AM

I think both people should be willing to pursue each other. If one person is doing all or most of the work, then he or she may think the other person isn't that interested and will move on.


I agree with you in general. But even if I didn't know a woman wrote that, I could have guessed it.

What you say sounds nice--but the process isn't quite that simple. Maybe both people *should* be willing to pursue each other, but many more women expect the man to do the pursuing than vice versa.

Also, the risk and uncertainty isn't as even as you portray it. A woman doesn't have to do most of the work for very long--that is, stick her neck out very far--before she can reasonably decide the man isn't interested, and stop trying. She knows that generally, if the guy's interested, he's aware he's got to show it before too long, or the deal will fall through. If he plays very hard to get, he knows she'll probably take it as lack of interest on his part.

But it's not the same, the other way around. Men can't be so sure that what appears to be a lack of interest really is, because they've been trained to expect women--even when they're interested--to play hard to get. That makes it harder for a man to know just how long he should do most of the work before he calls it off. Is she really just not interested, or does she just want to see if I'll pursue her a little harder? And that means he usually has to do a greater share of the work, for longer, than a woman would do if their positions were reversed.

I'm not saying the process in unfair. I think that later on, as things get more serious, the woman tends to face a greater risk than the man. So it evens out. I can understand why women would like to think they worked as hard and risked as much as men to get a relationship started. But on average, I don't think that's true.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 93
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/11/2011 4:40:27 AM
WOW! The next time i see a beautiful women i`m going to simply stand around and look good in hopes that she walks up to me first for the intro...
Thats quite funny!
Don`t see that happening now or in the near future..
 thisisit11
Joined: 7/11/2010
Msg: 95
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/11/2011 5:38:10 AM
Ohlala,

I agree that a lot of good-looking women are not bein pursued, contrary to ppl thinking that there's a line up to date them. Often average looking have better luck because they appear more attainable.

I disagree that guys want better looking women than themselves. I personally have been told by guys that they married their wives because "they werent the prettiest" so that they don't have to worry about them getting hit on all the time!!!!!!!
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 97
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/11/2011 8:33:03 AM
if a woman is chasing a man- its because he has his back to her and his eyes on another.


he may take a peek behind to see you and take your life line you are throwing to him...


but in general it is an act of desperation on the part of women.


don't chase men women...
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 98
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/11/2011 8:59:10 AM

a lot of good-looking women are not bein pursued, contrary to ppl thinking that there's a line up to date them. Often average looking have better luck because they appear more attainable.


Correct IRL.. Here on POF most all the good-looking ladies must get 100s of emails a day, and hardly ever reply unless it's from POTUS, Clooney, Brad Pitts twin brother, or now maybe Arnold..

APPEAR attainable AND approachable if what you want is more "nice" men to approach..
DON'T require much pursuit,
as most mature men have had enough of those games and now appreciate reciprocity much more...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 99
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/11/2011 9:28:18 AM

if a woman is chasing a man- its because he has his back to her and his eyes on another.
he may take a peek behind to see you and take your life line you are throwing to him...
but in general it is an act of desperation on the part of women.
don't chase men women...

Close. I'd venture to say that this isn't gender specific. Chasing on the part of either gender is desperate. If you have to all out chase someone, they are either not very interested, or playing games. State your interest and let the other person either make the next move, or move on.
 jasonsgt
Joined: 1/30/2011
Msg: 101
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 5/12/2011 6:32:40 PM
I never understood the act of chasing, whether it be the man or woman doing the chasing. Its just a stupid game. What happened to being straightforward and upfront with people instead of playing silly games beating around the bush.
If youre running after a ball rolling out into the street, youre not going to run up to it and run circles around it and pretend to catch it, are you? People who like to waste time would do that I suppose.
Im not an agressive person at all, but if I knew someone was interested in me, and I was interested in then, I wouldnt hesitate to go in for the kill.
I dont read signs too well, so I need nothing short of a written letter stating your interest for me. Ok, Im joking, but am trying to put it into perspective.
If they turn and run while looking back giggling at me, Id say adios and let 'em have their fun by theirself.
 NonamousDog
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 103
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:00:59 AM
I'm not entirely sure everyone understands "chasing" in the same way.

I would tend to agree that lengthy and persistent attempts to gain someone's attention is rather desperate, but I've also noticed that some women disdain to take any initiative, believing it's "chasing".
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 104
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:11:51 AM

NonamousDog:
I'm not entirely sure everyone understands "chasing" in the same way.


You have a good point. Some women would define taking the initiative to send an initial message as "chasing", where others would have an entirely different definition of the word.
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 106
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:40:41 AM
It's been my experience so far on POF that the ones who contact me first are going to lead to an actual meeting 99 % of the time IF I also am interested.

So, I rarely initiate contact but when I do ... 99% of the time I don't get a response.
 sewfine
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 109
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 6/29/2011 10:19:16 AM
Citownguy40 I loved your answer! That is what I am hoping will happen
to someone that chased me and wined me and dined me and the chemistry was very evident from the start ... told me he was walking straighter and taller since knowing me .... but continued to chat and sign up for events.
If I was so amazing, ( and yes ... I do think I am too) why I ask do you think that means anything you say to me when you are still chasing other woman? It seems to me you would want to put your effort into someone you say is amazing ... rather than seeing what else could be amazing. For a while I did keep contact with this person ... who sadly I thought was amazing. Ultimately I found out my amazing man ... who by the way 14 years older .... was emailing his body parts to other woman. How sad .... just like the song " you had my heart and we could have had it all"!
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 115
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/19/2011 4:59:23 AM
In todays society whats the big deal? If a women wants to be the hunter, so be it. In the same token, a women should understand what she`s getting into when she chases her man...
When we`re chased, we expect to have physical contact immediately if not sooner.. Otherwise, its no fun...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 117
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:50:04 AM
If both aren't putting an effort in, than it's not worth it. If one has to chase, the other isn't that jazzed about it - showing clear interest is one thing, but chasing is too much . I like when a guy steps up to the plate with me and gives me an equal exchange. If I'm doing too much, or he is - someone's not that into it. *shrug*
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 118
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/20/2011 5:45:33 AM
Usually I don't mind but some are way too persistent and I can't say no. I know how difficult it must be for a woman to lay her ego on line. Mad props though to ones who do.
 sunvalleyvixen
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 125
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2011 1:08:32 AM
the whole chasing thing always has gotten to me, why cant we 'just be" i found that a guy i was dating chased me for 2 months before I ever went on a date and after about another month of dating...tables turned and i ended up being the one doing all the chasing, now, i guess he is either not interested anymore or...is busy but i would like to thing after 4 months of contact (2 of those months being much closer) that if he were not interested anymore he would simply tell me that!!!! just dont get all these dating n' chasing rules!!!!
 chinadol6977
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 126
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2011 1:26:25 AM
I love a man that puts in the effort that chasing requires......In the end I consider it an equal pay off......
 terri12
Joined: 8/4/2010
Msg: 127
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2011 11:49:49 AM
No woman with self respect would do the chasing. I wonder what type of woman yr attracting!
 Jersey125
Joined: 1/23/2011
Msg: 128
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2011 12:25:46 PM
No self respecting man would chase a woman. If she doesnt share the same level of interest and can't verbally express it then he's wasting his time.
 Forereels
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 129
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/22/2011 1:46:19 PM

No woman with self respect would do the chasing.



No self respecting man would chase a woman.



"Houston, we have a problem."
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 130
How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 9/23/2011 6:26:08 PM
I think if the guy is truly interested...then he will make the first move.
For example, asking you out for coffee or something for the first time.
If you're chasing someone, then maybe that person isn't really into you? lol
It should be a mutual effort after the initial first few dates, I think.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 135
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 10/1/2011 2:13:58 AM
This whole concept of "chasing" and who is the hunter is a bit skewed anyway

A "hunter" in the true sense of the word doesnt try for 100 gazelles and finally catch one, a fox doesnt chase 100 rats and catch one their success rate is FAR higher because they have the tools for their role and if they didnt they'd starve

There is however another form of "hunting" that is pretty passive, where a trapper will put out bait in a cage or similar which attracts the prey and when they take the bait SNAP, the "hunter" has them

So lets look at dating, women far more than men spend unbelievable amounts of time maintaining their appearance, small fortunes on their skin, nails, hair, makeup and perfumes. Many spend a fortune on plastic surgery, waxing, spa days, eyebrow shaping, false nails, mani-pedis and then you have the clothes which lets be honest here. Womens clothers FAR more than mens are designed to either accentuate good body parts and to hide ones that might be deemed less appealing or substandard. Then you have the padded bras, fillets, girdles or body shaping corsets pants and bras and the list goes on and on and on


When it comes to the actual dating dance itself if men were infact "hunters" they would pick a target and "overwhelm" them, the prey wouldnt have much say in the matter as that is how that particular model of hunter prey works

But is that the case?

Not really, what is far more acurate is the "hunter" lays out their bait for the prey to see and when a target comes in to sniff at the bait the hunter chooses whether or not to spring the trap on them or whether to let them walk by

So the real control isnt by any stretch of the imagination with the men as the term hunter implies, because you can "hunt" a woman as much as you want to, but if she doesnt like you it wont result in you eating her that night and hasnt really been anything like that since wives were bought based on how many goats you had to offer
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 142
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How many guys let women do the chasing?
Posted: 10/5/2011 4:00:08 PM
Sure a woman that does the pursuing does answer a lot of questions meaning you know where you stand. I think that falls under the category as someone mentioned above... "lazy daters".
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