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 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 151
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
My standards are where they've always been....up. I respect myself too much to be dragged down to be "grateful" and accept only 'what I can get'. That's just silly!
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 152
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 4:59:08 PM
what standards though? looks or personality?

its a reality that everything changes as one gets older- looks too. no matter how well you take care of yourself.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 153
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:16:25 PM
I'm sort of with Reefchik on this one ... when I was a kid, there was nothing more important than "he's the cutest guy in the room" and "he's smiling back" kind of "standards" ... LAUGHING ... those were no standards! that was little-kid-type-lust!

when I wanted to make babies, I was thinking along the lines of the genes my husband would be bringing to our children so I wanted healthy, intelligent and good looking ...

THANKFULLY, now that I'm older, I've realized the importance of compatible intellects, emotional balances, philosophies, attitudes, beliefs, goals, ethics ... on and on ... oh, it's so much more complicated now ...

I long for those days when the cutest guy in the room did it for me!

(I was so stupid back then!)
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 154
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:23:03 PM
right, but is that what people are discussing ? intelligence? i mean i havent seen one person say " i am okay dating a high functioning special education adult."
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 155
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:49:20 PM

" i am okay dating a high functioning special education adult."

not cool
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 156
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:43:07 PM
have you chatted on here long. seems like a fair share are barely coherent.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 157
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:04:24 PM
I suspect we tend to be attracted to the qualities we'd like to see in ourselves ... I am very drawn to highly intellectual men with a witty sense of humor ... some women, I've heard, are drawn to power ... men quite often claim women are ONLY drawn to money ... that always makes me laugh!

I'm sure if someone qualifies for "barely coherent" by your standards, they're probably considered intellectuals by other people's standards ...

it would be great if we could be attracted to anyone ... that grouchy man standing in the grocery line ... the dishonest man trying to sell me a house ... the angry cop who stopped me for speeding ... that would be lovely ... but we're not ...

don't know about you ... but who's attracted to whom is certainly a mystery to me! but I'm easily amused ...

 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 159
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:57:20 AM
molly, i never said that being older means putting up with overtly crummy people.

but for instance maybe give the balding guy a chance, or the one that doesnt care about wine vintages, or doesnt like horseriding or doesnt read sandra brown novels, whatever.

as someone else said, not all intelligence is quantified on a piece of paper. I have a masters, but i have in my life met a few guys that were my peer that did not have college education. of course the reverse can be true also.

i just find it interesting that at say ... 45 a woman still expects to find that tall tom cruise look alike who drives a mercedes and would just LOVE to let a woman with 3 kids and 4 dogs move into his mansion.
 GoodChoice72
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 161
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:52:36 AM
I think my standards are right where they should be.
What blows my mind are the men my(57) age ( and in the low to mid 60's ) want to date younger women or someone still built like a Barbie.
The men are the ones with the standards out of REALITY.
These guys that say they are 60 but are in great shape and more like 40 just CRACK me up. These guys are going to be VERY lonely.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 162
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:03:28 AM

Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 820 AM
molly, i never said that being older means putting up with overtly crummy people.

but for instance maybe give the balding guy a chance, or the one that doesnt care about wine vintages, or doesnt like horseriding or doesnt read sandra brown novels, whatever.

as someone else said, not all intelligence is quantified on a piece of paper. I have a masters, but i have in my life met a few guys that were my peer that did not have college education. of course the reverse can be true also.

i just find it interesting that at say ... 45 a woman still expects to find that tall tom cruise look alike who drives a mercedes and would just LOVE to let a woman with 3 kids and 4 dogs move into his mansion.


Look back over the posts. A fair number of people have commented that they have learned that super good looks are not important--we are attracted to a broader (no pun intended) range of people b/c we understand the stuff that *really* matters. A number of people have said they have a much higher standard for how they are treated. Not sure where you get the idea that standards going up has ANYTHING to do with expecting BETTER looking partners.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 163
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:43:17 AM
1763 ... above ... has it right ...

the only person I've noticed who's talking about "putting up with overtly crumby people ... or balding guys ... vintage wines ... horseback riding ... driving a Mercedes ... intelligence quantified by a piece of paper" is ... one 32-year old person and he's complaining about women ...

the rest of us have said we're looking for compatible interests, people who treat everyone well ... people who aren't angry and ranting about how badly they've been treated ... we're not talking about something as frivolous as looks ... and, when I say I'm turned on by intelligence ... I've NEVER MEANT a piece of paper! shaking my head and sighing ...

 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 164
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:15:38 PM
You got that right sister. I'm with you on that one.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 165
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 1:22:03 PM
I find the title of this thread kind of offensive, it sounds like you are using a base of say the high school chearleader or quarterback and going from their.

I feel a more relevant perspective is have your needs, likes, interests, desires, etc.. been refined and better articulated as you grow older. It isn't an I deserver better than that person perspective.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 166
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:33:06 PM
I don't have standards.
Just preferences.
Preferences deal with the qualities I am seeking.

Standards is a form of being judgmental.
The pass or fail mentality warps people in my book.
It makes one impersonal as to dealing with others.
And makes it harder on yourself when you are in fail category.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 167
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:48:51 PM

I don't have standards.
Just preferences.
Preferences deal with the qualities I am seeking.




Don't cha just love it when someone comes along and says exactly what you wanted to say, only better. * big grin*


...mae
 NOjadedones
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 168
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/20/2012 8:09:23 AM
UP, no compromising, no games, no drama, no patience with adults acting like children.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 170
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/9/2014 8:03:23 AM
Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 171
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/14/2014 6:30:53 PM
My standards have never changed , just there used to me a lot that were inside those brackets ,now almost non are . So I now begin to look globally for possibilities .
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 172
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 8:21:11 AM

Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.


sorry but that was funny :)



Standards are the same; but the amount of time I spend on something where the red flags hit is going down. I am learning from my experiences and getting out of bad fits faster, and putting more focus on the things I have learned are more important.

So it's not that my standards are going up; but I am shifting priorities in what is most important.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 173
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 7:24:06 PM
People thought that my standards were too high before I settled and got married. I shudder to think of how they would see my standards now. Seeing how often I hit the "No" button on the "Meet Me" feature and that the feature is struggling to even present me with any options, I would say that my standards are quite high. Some may think this is a defense mechanism, and they might be right. I am, however, finished settling even if it means a life alone.

My days are getting better somewhat; now I just have to keep the sub-conscience in check at night while I sleep.
 CrispyNoodles
Joined: 8/31/2013
Msg: 174
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 10:41:25 PM
My standards have not changed, but, I am much less willing to compromise them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 175
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 2:06:03 AM

Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.


Young hot women keep my "standard" up.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 176
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 5:15:26 AM

Young hot women keep my "standard" up.


^^^^But, of course, it does.....one would think the operative word would be "women" but my gut feeling suggests your smiley face was for the "young." And since you do not list any age specification on your profile, would this make my point? Hmmmmmm..... :) This does make me wonder.....do you need assistance in keeping your standards up if you considered a middle aged woman? And I am completely yanking your chain.....hahahaha! :)
======
Personally, I am not sure my standards have gone up rather than it being one knows a lot more just by way of life experiences. I think through life experiences, one's expectations may change up or down and adjusted accordingly. I like to think I go with the flow, I guess it all depends what waves I want to ride....?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 177
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 6:19:03 AM
My "standards" have basically flat lined.

My expectations though, have gone down.

As low as I can go actually.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 178
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 6:26:16 AM

And I am completely yanking your chain.....hahahaha! :)


Is that a proposition?

Hot middle aged women? Sign me up!
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