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 hazeleyedwitch
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 158
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???Page 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I'm not sure if my standards have gone up or my tolerance level has gone down. With me its about the way they treat me. I used to take a lot of bull$hit, but now when that starts I am gone. I don't have time to waste on a loser. And by loser I am not referring to looks, education or money. Its about the way you treat people. Last guy i dated treated people nasty and was so jealous I wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom alone or say hello to a man I knew since elementary school. I dont date much because its hard to find someone nice and well balanced.
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 159
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:57:20 AM
molly, i never said that being older means putting up with overtly crummy people.

but for instance maybe give the balding guy a chance, or the one that doesnt care about wine vintages, or doesnt like horseriding or doesnt read sandra brown novels, whatever.

as someone else said, not all intelligence is quantified on a piece of paper. I have a masters, but i have in my life met a few guys that were my peer that did not have college education. of course the reverse can be true also.

i just find it interesting that at say ... 45 a woman still expects to find that tall tom cruise look alike who drives a mercedes and would just LOVE to let a woman with 3 kids and 4 dogs move into his mansion.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 160
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:57:30 AM

Last guy i dated treated people nasty and was so jealous I wasn't allowed to go to the bathroom alone or say hello to a man I knew since elementary school. I dont date much because its hard to find someone nice and well balanced.


Sounds like my last relationship that ended in 2006.. I could not even go to the hairdresser without him having to watch what he was doing with my hair.. No surprising him when I got back with my new do. Got me to thinking why he was so jealous was he up to no good?

I do not date much either because although I have met one or two that are nice and well balanced there was no attraction..

I think my standards have changed now that I am older.. I have to hope he is not living out of a suitcase, like I was when I was younger.. Let's say I very settled now and enjoy my home and would like to find a man that enjoys puttering around his as well..

nativerock
 GoodChoice72
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 161
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:52:36 AM
I think my standards are right where they should be.
What blows my mind are the men my(57) age ( and in the low to mid 60's ) want to date younger women or someone still built like a Barbie.
The men are the ones with the standards out of REALITY.
These guys that say they are 60 but are in great shape and more like 40 just CRACK me up. These guys are going to be VERY lonely.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 162
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:03:28 AM

Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 820 AM
molly, i never said that being older means putting up with overtly crummy people.

but for instance maybe give the balding guy a chance, or the one that doesnt care about wine vintages, or doesnt like horseriding or doesnt read sandra brown novels, whatever.

as someone else said, not all intelligence is quantified on a piece of paper. I have a masters, but i have in my life met a few guys that were my peer that did not have college education. of course the reverse can be true also.

i just find it interesting that at say ... 45 a woman still expects to find that tall tom cruise look alike who drives a mercedes and would just LOVE to let a woman with 3 kids and 4 dogs move into his mansion.


Look back over the posts. A fair number of people have commented that they have learned that super good looks are not important--we are attracted to a broader (no pun intended) range of people b/c we understand the stuff that *really* matters. A number of people have said they have a much higher standard for how they are treated. Not sure where you get the idea that standards going up has ANYTHING to do with expecting BETTER looking partners.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 163
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 11:43:17 AM
1763 ... above ... has it right ...

the only person I've noticed who's talking about "putting up with overtly crumby people ... or balding guys ... vintage wines ... horseback riding ... driving a Mercedes ... intelligence quantified by a piece of paper" is ... one 32-year old person and he's complaining about women ...

the rest of us have said we're looking for compatible interests, people who treat everyone well ... people who aren't angry and ranting about how badly they've been treated ... we're not talking about something as frivolous as looks ... and, when I say I'm turned on by intelligence ... I've NEVER MEANT a piece of paper! shaking my head and sighing ...

 mscloverct
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 164
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/2/2012 6:15:38 PM
You got that right sister. I'm with you on that one.
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 165
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 1:22:03 PM
I find the title of this thread kind of offensive, it sounds like you are using a base of say the high school chearleader or quarterback and going from their.

I feel a more relevant perspective is have your needs, likes, interests, desires, etc.. been refined and better articulated as you grow older. It isn't an I deserver better than that person perspective.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 166
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:33:06 PM
I don't have standards.
Just preferences.
Preferences deal with the qualities I am seeking.

Standards is a form of being judgmental.
The pass or fail mentality warps people in my book.
It makes one impersonal as to dealing with others.
And makes it harder on yourself when you are in fail category.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 167
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:48:51 PM

I don't have standards.
Just preferences.
Preferences deal with the qualities I am seeking.




Don't cha just love it when someone comes along and says exactly what you wanted to say, only better. * big grin*


...mae
 NOjadedones
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 168
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/20/2012 8:09:23 AM
UP, no compromising, no games, no drama, no patience with adults acting like children.
 bronzcoco
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 169
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/20/2012 12:06:33 PM
Over the last couple years, my standards have definitely gone up. I think back at what I dealt with in past relationships and I know that I would not tolerate the same things now. I would rather be single and content than be in an unsatisfactory relationship and miserable.
 TOaks91360
Joined: 11/22/2013
Msg: 170
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/9/2014 8:03:23 AM
Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 171
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/14/2014 6:30:53 PM
My standards have never changed , just there used to me a lot that were inside those brackets ,now almost non are . So I now begin to look globally for possibilities .
 moonbeamlover
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 172
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 8:21:11 AM

Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.


sorry but that was funny :)



Standards are the same; but the amount of time I spend on something where the red flags hit is going down. I am learning from my experiences and getting out of bad fits faster, and putting more focus on the things I have learned are more important.

So it's not that my standards are going up; but I am shifting priorities in what is most important.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 173
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 7:24:06 PM
People thought that my standards were too high before I settled and got married. I shudder to think of how they would see my standards now. Seeing how often I hit the "No" button on the "Meet Me" feature and that the feature is struggling to even present me with any options, I would say that my standards are quite high. Some may think this is a defense mechanism, and they might be right. I am, however, finished settling even if it means a life alone.

My days are getting better somewhat; now I just have to keep the sub-conscience in check at night while I sleep.
 CrispyNoodles
Joined: 8/31/2013
Msg: 174
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/18/2014 10:41:25 PM
My standards have not changed, but, I am much less willing to compromise them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 175
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 2:06:03 AM

Definitely getting harder to keep my standard up.


Young hot women keep my "standard" up.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 176
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 5:15:26 AM

Young hot women keep my "standard" up.


^^^^But, of course, it does.....one would think the operative word would be "women" but my gut feeling suggests your smiley face was for the "young." And since you do not list any age specification on your profile, would this make my point? Hmmmmmm..... :) This does make me wonder.....do you need assistance in keeping your standards up if you considered a middle aged woman? And I am completely yanking your chain.....hahahaha! :)
======
Personally, I am not sure my standards have gone up rather than it being one knows a lot more just by way of life experiences. I think through life experiences, one's expectations may change up or down and adjusted accordingly. I like to think I go with the flow, I guess it all depends what waves I want to ride....?
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 177
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 6:19:03 AM
My "standards" have basically flat lined.

My expectations though, have gone down.

As low as I can go actually.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 178
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 6:26:16 AM

And I am completely yanking your chain.....hahahaha! :)


Is that a proposition?

Hot middle aged women? Sign me up!
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 179
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/19/2014 7:58:30 AM
My standards have gone up. That's because I now know far more things that can be deal-breakers or problems, and that limits the candidate list more than it used to.
 elmuchoburrito
Joined: 8/27/2013
Msg: 180
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/20/2014 10:07:30 PM
I have raised my standards
and lowered my expectations
Nurturing my indifference, harvesting my apathy
There is a large vortex of what I will not go near, and what I believe is even possible. It is jumping rope with the line between Priceless and Worthless - and the growing realization that it just doesn't f'n matter.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 181
Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/22/2014 2:28:56 PM
My standards diffently got way up. I know that I'm more picky and have more deal breakers now then before. On some issues I might be more understanding as life does teach you many things.
But with many other things I just can't, don't want to deal with any one else problems.
But over all I'm very happy with my life and don't mind being single what so ever. Cause I know that being picky I set my self up to be single for a very long time.
Bottom line is being single or not is really up to each one of us. We ourselves are responsible for what happens to us.
We are the ones who dicide what road to follow where to pull over and stop or what turn to take.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 182
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Middle aged:have your standards gone UP or DOWN???
Posted: 1/25/2014 1:16:31 PM
Mine are the same: I always liked honest, clean-cut, conservative in appearance, yet "open-minded" men who worked. And that won't EVER change.
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