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 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 31
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
yes, lysine helps the sufferer, but not necessarily the recipient. there are numerous herpes viruses. let's make sure you all understand that the one from the cats is not transferrable to humans. shingles (herpes zoster), in case you all don't know, comes from the chicken pox virus. if you've had chicken pox as a kid, then later on in life, you might get shingles. there is only one herpes virus that the blood banks will eliminate a donor, should s/he have that strain. it is neither herpes 1 or 2.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 33
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 2:09:33 PM
""It's always a balancing act between drawbacks and benefits, no matter what it is."

People seem too compliant to the idea that getting an STD is fairly normal, and taking drugs with serious side effects is just part of daily life. STD's can lead to death, as can taking the drugs to stop the STD's.

I will do everything I can to prevent from becoming just another stat."

ps A friend of mine runs a cat sanctuary. She picked up an eye infection from one of the cat's she was treating. When being treated for the infection at the hospital, she was told that this was the first case ever of this type of eye infection going from cat to human. I can't remember what type of infection it was. I will ask her when she comes over at Christmas.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 34
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 3:36:06 PM

Half the partners of people taking daily valacyclovir became infected with the virus, and half did not.. So no guarantees which half you would fall into..

I'd like to clear up an apparent misunderstanding, upthread ^^, of the Valtrex study. Or maybe I misunderstood the post. Either way though, the Valrex study did NOT show that half the couples contracted H. Or anything even close to that.
Even without using an antiviral (the placebo group), the study showed the transmission rate of H is less than 6% which is inline with other studies, give or take a ercentage point or two.
The group taking Valtrex ended up with a less than a 3% transmission rate. The reduction from 6% to 3% is the 50% reduction they talking about.
In other words, out of 100 discordant couples NOT using an antiviral, you can expect about 6 transmissions to occur. That means *94* couples would NOT experience a transfer.
But with Valtrex, less than 3 couples out of 100 would transfer the virus and *97* couples would not.
.... just sayin'.....
Carry on!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 35
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 3:41:47 PM

People seem too compliant to the idea that getting an STD is fairly normal, and taking drugs with serious side effects is just part of daily life. STD's can lead to death, as can taking the drugs to stop the STD's.

I will do everything I can to prevent from becoming just another stat."

ps A friend of mine runs a cat sanctuary. She picked up an eye infection from one of the cat's she was treating. When being treated for the infection at the hospital, she was told that this was the first case ever of this type of eye infection going from cat to human. I can't remember what type of infection it was. I will ask her when she comes over at Christmas.

It's not being complaisant or compliant. There are many illnesses which cross species boundariss, are hosted by one species and infect another. The one that's gotten the most press in the previous decade is bovine spongiform encephalopathy, popularly known as mad cow disease. It's also spread to a lot of wildlife all over the north Anerican continent.

Then there are some people who appear to have stronger natural immune systems than others. High blood pressure runs in my family, though it's passed over me. But I have family members who deal or have dealt with it with everything from meds to faith healing. My first husband got one std after another, but they never affected me - and at times, I think he did his best to infect me, but he failed in that. My late husband had hepatitis C, but I don't. I worked with a lot of clients who had HIV, some more active than others, but I don't.

Simply being alive is in itself a balancing act. Have you ever studied human anatomy and physiology? The human body is an incredible collection of interlocking and interdependent systems, and when just one of them gets out of wack, all are affected to some degree. Instead of proclaiming yourself superior to all and sundry because you don't 'need' any meds, try being grateful that they are there in case you ever do need them.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 36
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 4:25:30 PM
"These "stick with their own kind" comments are laughable considering most of our kind don't even know they're our kind. I wouldn't wish an STD (or other illness) on anyone but at times like this it is sooooo tempting."

Test and find out........how hard is that.

I have had a different serious medical problem in my 20's. If people weren't open to all the surgeries I had, I never was tempted to wish them illness. I have always respected other people's person preferences. I don't feel the slightest bit of bitterness to anyone who doesn't want to be involved with me for whatever reason.

If someone tells you they have herpes then you can choose to get involved or not. I would still ask for testing, even if they said they didn't have it.

"This is certainly one nice thing about being married to a trusted partner in this way, amongst others."

I totally relate to that.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 37
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 7:13:28 PM
sores in the mouth are canker sores and not herpes viruses. there was a guy on pof who damn near died from a blood transfusion which gave him hep C. i believe canada is suing the usa source for that.

actually, as mentioned above, herpes is not part of standard std testing. if the doc is hmo or govt. salaried, they often get in trouble for prescribing the test, unless you have a blister. they are evaluated for keeping costs down. many docs nowadays are not the old timers who do the research. they are forced to get the patient through in as little time as possible and follow the written protocols which are most concerned with "cost". with 80 percent of the population walking around "latent", let alone demanding treatment to protect their partners, they cannot afford to test and treat all these patients with their limited per capita patient annual fee--irrespective of what transpires with all the patients' health lumped together. thus, they prioritize. this is a good topic in any health related "ethics" class. who lives and who dies? what does one test/treat and what does one leave alone until after the fact demonstrates "need". it's a number crunching statistics game. but, when you are immune compromised already, you need to take "more" precautions.

valtrex has just been challenged by the generic. soon that will diminish in cost. a full discussion of treatment is in the book i suggested that you download.

so, if you are immune compromised in any way or really feel that you need to know, go to another dr. not in your hmo or lie-- and tell the dr. who refused you, that you think you were "exposed".

having been in charge of many physician projects, i believe that I am the general contractor of my own body. if i want to test my plumbing, i insist until i get it tested. with this in mind, i have many friends who have gone back and gotten the tests they felt they wanted/needed and many have "paid for" the washington university test which distinguishes which herpes you carry, if any. the cheaper herpes test, says you have h1 or h2, but does not distinguish. again, not part of the regular std panel. geeze, now they aren't even allowing mammos unless you are 50! i just met a 35 year old with breast cancer. but, they have a budget and go with the highest numbers for the highest good. the rate of actual herpes blistering is low. so, they don't want to be bothered. the rate of 35 year old's getting breast cancer is low, so they don't want to be bothered. i myself get thermograms and pay for them. some cannot afford to do this and some do not take responsibilty for their own bodies and their own health strategies. they just sit and blame the "last" person they sleep with . but the fact is that s/he may not have been the one who gave it to them. that is what is "sad".

once again, please download the book i suggested above. terry warren is considered "the expert". i too was married and a bit naive when i started out in the single world. you need to be responsible for "whatever" decision you make and whatever strategy you take. living in denial and misquoting stats is not being your body's own general contractor! if you've done any "home improvement" you know where that leads!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 38
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 8:17:05 PM
Thanks for all the info serenitycw.

Bottom line is as with anything with our health, take charge of our own bodies. Research and make informed decisions. Stick to our boundries, and guard them well.

Here in Canada, we don't pay for health care, but that could change. However, finding the right doctor is extremely important. Creating a relationship with that doctor so they know who you are, and that you are a take charge person who experts to get whatever it is that you need to take care of your body.

I did a little research on herpes, (will do more later) and was surprised that the last info I could find on herpes with statscanada website was from 2006. Nice one govt. The info I found was on people in 2006 between the ages of 15 and 20. I was hoping to find stats on people over 45.
 RobN8tor
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 39
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 9:09:47 PM
the more i read this thread,the scarier it is....i would like to thank you for the info about the cats too,as i have a cat.

after reading all this,its enough to make you want to stay in the house..unfortunately..

especially those statitistics..aiiieee..
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 40
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/21/2009 11:34:21 PM
i've been asked privately "how" to free download the herpes manual i keep insisting you all get? w/o my giving the url and getting in trouble with pof rules? okay, here is "how" to find it. google "westover heights clinic" in portland, oregon and go to the herpes section, listed on the left. i am not talking about warren's new book which you must purchase. instead look for the "updated herpes handbook". click on that, read it and/or download it. simple as that! well, it is now being updated monthly as FINALLY more research is being accurately published. i think as mentioned above, facial plastic surgery and the threat of herpes 1 to the eyes, is gaining a new market segment in the field.


aaamm, thank you for your "updated" info which oddly enough comes from terri warren who is the primary consultant for web md and who writes the free handook i cited above. my copy did not have this info, as it's about one year old. it used to be updated yearly, so i now know to keep current when someone asks me about it. i am not doing as much child advocacy as before, but lately a lot of adults are "finally" looking into it.

aaamm, the full description in the handbook does , however, stress the rarity of the occurence you describe --which it appears will happen in adults who have the virus for the first time. i believe most people first contract herpes 1 as children and this is not considered sexually transmitted, because let's face it, mom's are constantly kissing their children! but, now they know more.

this outbreak is not as deadly or painful as you describe because it occurs mostly on the lips and face. however, many people do think that canker sores are herpes blisters and they are not. i get canker sores every now and then (not enough vitamin C) and boy, they are painful! PLEASE JUST READ THE HANDBOOK.

the handbook also reiterated something i had not thought of, which is that the h1 virus does "shed" from the inside of the mouth, even if not "seen" or "felt". also ONE THIRD OF GENITAL HERPES COMES FROM HERPES 1--the other 2/3 from HERPES 2. again, as said above this is not that many people. but, i bet the ones who have genital herpes from h1 did not know anything about their partner's herpes OR neither knew s/he was shedding at that time.

also, i will repeat the valtrex "study" was not longitudinal, so the cutting in half only applied to short term use. yes, i understand that some of you don't like taking drugs. as for me, with my lymes, i mix and match traditional and homepathic drugs. whatever works for whoever "chooses" to proceed. there are good homeopaths and bad ones, just like regular MD's. for example, one of my lymes docs is both MD and homeopath and he's good!

i personally would not let someone with herpes walk by me if i saw him as a serious partner. some, however, would rather be single than take on this virus. i believe this is more due to social stigma and ignorance about the disease and the stats. but, that is my opinion. nonetheless, having lymes, i would take special care.

i've taken antibiotics for lymes which some people cannot take and by the same token have not been able to take antibiotics that others find "easy". i would imagine the same for antivirals and antifungals. i always check my liver. that is where these drugs often will show up, if a problem. tamiflu for example is an antiviral and many people with ms take other antivirals. by mixing in homeopathics, etc. you are building up the immunity that makes you susceptible in the first place. remember most people are walking around w/o even knowing.

so, i'm bowing out of this thread. there have been many herpes threads on pof for the four years i've been on the forums. this handbook is the best around, free and montly updated. the author is considered "the" international expert. i guess because she took the time to collect the research and distribute it to the lay public in a comprehensive manner.

it seems many with herpes only want to find someone with herpes. but, many with herpes have non herpes partners who never get the disease. nonetheless careful then! because if you have genital herpes caused by h1, that does not make you compatible with someone with h2 automatically!

to me, this is limiting like saying if you had a mastecomy you should find someone with prostate cancer! well, almost a match! but, to each his/her own. two grownups make grownup decisions together. just be sure to make "educated" decisions. this takes work.

btw, cdc says lymes is not catching, but some think it is. they have found lymes spirochetes in the partners of those with lymes. but so far, cdc says they both could have picked it up in the same environment. i tell this to my mates. so far, knock on wood. i don't worry much because i take my meds. but, i leave it to my mate to decide. he too is an adult. i just present the facts and the controversies. i figure he may catch way more in carriers of many illnesses who are not in tune with what they carry.

many people are also walking around with lymes antibodies, just like viral antibodies. they feel fine and years later, with stress or toxins in the environment, suddenly their lymes comes out. a whole new theory of germs is being written as we speak. germs no longer want to be eradicated in plagues. they just want to live with us (literally) and keep us alive--so they can eat! many of the autoimmune diseases where we attack our own bodies, occur because germs such as lymes spirochetes hide in our cells in a latent form. so, we attack the germ and in so doing "ourselves". sorry, but many germs are everywhere and with a good immune system, you are very lucky. i used to have one. but, part of life is in the learning. so far, i'm alive, but w/o antibiotics i might not be. for me this has been going on almost 20 years. so far, i've still managed to accomplish a lot, fost/adopt three kids and have relationships. but, grrrrrrr.......
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 41
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 4:47:15 AM

Can you provide me please with this documentation..

I Googled "Valtrex study" and an article entitled "Valtrex For Reducing Transmission of Genital Herpes- FDA Hearing: FDA panel votes 11-0 to recommend approval Written by Jules Levin" was at the top of the list. That's where I went for a quick memory jogging. But there are numerous sources with other more detailed information regarding the study that confirm that article. Pub Med for instance. The study had a number of other interesting findings, btw. The abstract on Pub Med is worth a read.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 42
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 12:44:51 PM
I would like to thank the OP for starting this topic. Obviously I have learned a lot from certain posters, especially senerity.

Topic posted 12/20/09
Would You Become Involved Romatically is s/he Has Herpes?

"Inform yourself before you open your pie hole... how hard is that."

I and others are responding to how we would react in Dec. 09, not as to what happened decades ago before testing was available. I have always been a person who suggested research, taking control of our own health, and demanding that medical profession give us the testing we need.



I wouldn't be upset if I had herpes (would always inform dates) and someone didn't want to be romantically involved with me after I told them. Why others would be upset that people rejected being involved romantically with them makes no sense to me. People will always have personal preferences for themselves. It is nothing personal against the other person.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 43
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 1:29:10 PM
"What offended me was your comment which I copied and pasted."

"You repeatedly offend people by exhibiting the same condescending, holier than thou, know it all tone in your posts, yet behave as if it is others who have issues when you're called on it. At least I've learned from the mistakes of my past. I guess it's a d*** good thing for you that humility ain't catching. "

Please think about that fact that the topic is not about testing years ago, but is addressed to how people would decided today.

I said what is so hard about getting tested. If you want to be offended and blame me for asking why is it so hard to get tested (today) then I have no idea how to not offend you.

My mentor used to say that when I got upset with someone, I was actually either upset at myself or I was upset not at the person but at the issue. Took me a long time to figure out what than meant.

"You repeatedly offend people by exhibiting the same condescending, holier than thou, know it all tone in your posts, ....."

If people consider it condescending to post that I would make different decisions than they may like, ie. "Would have myself and demand that a future partners be tested for all STD's", then I guess that makes me condescending.

Not once did I critize anyone for getting herpes before testing was able to obtained. Not once did I say that it was their fault for getting. If people are offended that I have spent a good part of my life with one partner, there is nothing I can do about that. Didn't plan it, just happened that way. I can remember him saying how glad he was that we didn't have to worry about the downside of not being in a monogamous relationship. We didn't cause others to become single again and to have to deal with those issues.

"holier than thou, " Sadly, too often in todays world, people are seen as bad holier than thou types simply because they haven't been through what others have been through. Sometime it is by choice, sometimes by pure luck.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 44
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 1:39:12 PM

"holier than thou, " Sadly, too often in todays world, people are seen as bad holier than thou types simply because they haven't been through what others have been through. Sometime it is by choice, sometimes by pure luck.


Whether you do or don't intend it as such, that is exactly the impression that I get from every one of your posts - that "I am wonderful, I am better, I am superior" because of whatever. It doesn't matter what the topic is, you always have to have the last word - good grief, the one time I actually agreed with you and said so, it resulted in a vocabulary lesson! The only posts I can think of where you've shown any compassion for anyone were the ones in the widow/widower thread. Most of the time, I find your attitude offensive and the negativity detracts from whatever topic is being discussed.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 45
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 2:20:31 PM
I post to topic as I have done it this thread. I didn't single anyone out. I post to discuss this topic on any other topic of the thread I post in. If people read my words as ""I am wonderful, I am better, I am superior" that is what they are understand not what I am saying. Many people don't like it when others don't sugar coat everything, many people prefer that people don't sugar coat. If people don't like my posts, just don't ready them.

People can choose to call opinion that don't agree with their ideas as negative.

Regardless, in 2009, I wouldn't get involved Romatically with someone who had herpes". Those are my boundaries. Those who don't like my boundries won't like me, and I won't have to deal with them. Then everybody is happy.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 46
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 3:00:47 PM
"nobody planned on contracting an STD, and I'm sure many didn't plan on having several partners in life, it just happened that way."

I never said anything close to that. I was agreeing with a previous male poster who said one of the good things about a monogamous relationship was wonderful. Last time I looked monogamous relationship meant no cheating. Excuse me for saving I want testing.

I am not an enabler. If other people want to be an enabler, that is their decision on herpes and any other issue.

This topic is not about me but about herpes.

I never said another about a partner's track record that is ancient history. How many times do people need to hear that TODAY I would ask for testing.

Sad that people picked up herpes way back when. I can't remember seeing anyone in this thread saying that in past years when testing wasn't available they still should have been tested.

Sorry but I still say I won't do sport sex. I never refered to anyone personally as having done sport sex. Hello. You agree there should be testing but I can't say it.


Whatever, just don't read my posts then.........problem solved.

Feel free to complain further, but getting back to the topic might help others.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 47
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/22/2009 8:53:57 PM

"a 75% reduction in transmission of symptomatic genital herpes infection,
and also showed a 48% reduction in the acquisition asymptomatic acquisition of herpes-2 documented by HSV-2 seroconversion during the study."

That is not to say that these numbers correspond in anyway with how many people will get it.. It is merely to state how effective this particular drug is in stopping the transmission of it.


The part you quoted doesn't sayanything about how many people will get it OR effectiveness in stopping infection.
I honestly don't know where the confusion lies here. In a nutshell, the overall transmission rate with Valtrex was less than 3%, not 50%. And that was the point I was trying to make.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 48
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/23/2009 4:46:54 AM

Ok... the part you are missing is that the test period for that study was only 8 months...

I don't think anyone could miss that. The extrapolated 12 month rate would be 3.6%.
I was simply trying to point out, for anyone who has no information on this topic, that the report did not say half the couples in the study contracted H. Even the placebo group wouldn't have a transmission rate close to that.
No comment on extrapolating out to 100% except to say there's all sorts of reasons why it doesn't work that way. I think you probably already know that.

As for length of study, yes, longer would be better. But many studies are cut short for ethical reasons when the final results becomes obvious and putting anyone at risk in the placebo group isn't necessary. I don't remember if that was the case with this one or not.
As for condoms, the full report breaks down the differences between subjects that used condoms and those that didn't. It just confirmed what previous studies had found, which is, condoms prevent transmission at about the same rate as Valtrex. But the study showed that the rates are cumulative.
I think the questions raised here are valid but most are addressed in various articles online.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 49
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/23/2009 6:47:58 AM
I think Moraima is misunderstood here, as far as her motives when she posts. She is a black/white person, as I see it. She says what she means, and she means what she says. There is no fluff or candy coating it. I like that about her, personally. I think that we should try to see the best in one another and accept that we are all cut from a different cloth. I am a southern lady and we say it with sugar, but it is the same message. I can see how she could offend, but if you look at what she is saying, it not meant to be arrogant, just matter of fact, IMO.

I dated someone herpes years ago, and we were very careful. I bought a book on it and read it cover to cover. I wrote down a list of questions and went to see my doctor. I did baseline blood tests and then did them every three months afterwards. I never contracted it. We have not been dating for about five years now. I have always tested negative for it since. I get blood tests frequently because of having an illness two years ago. We did practice safe sex and I am going to say outrightly, it does limit your activities in the bedroom. We have broken up and I am very glad that I did not get a lifetime reminder of our relationship. I am very lucky. Would I take that risk again? I doubt it unless I honestly believed he would be my forever partner.

I cannot afford the monthly cost of taking care of it. Plus, you cannot have free and uninhibited sex if one partner is unaffected. It is a serious choice to make, to get involved with someone who has a STD.
 Stumbled In
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 50
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/23/2009 1:10:44 PM

" But the study showed that the rates are cumulative".
That was also what I mean to add in my post is that... at 3% every 8 months or 3.6% per year... is that the total transmission rates are cumulative... it's not like anyone is getting cured... so each year, more and more get infected...

Total transmission numbers are cumulative, that's true enough, but that's not what I meant.
Just meant that Valtrex cuts transmission risk in half. Use of condoms can cut it in half again. For example, an infection rate of 8% would be cut to 4% with Valtrex. Add condum usage to that and the risk would drop to 2%.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 51
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/23/2009 2:35:47 PM
cat - msg 91

I would have preferred an independent study was done with more of a cross section of people and for a much longer time.

When it comes to romantic involvements, I would think that most men would prefer an independent study with large cross section of people (preferrably of female sex, without herpes), and over a long period of time.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 52
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 2:28:07 AM
so, seein' as how 3/4 of the population are carriers, i would like all of you who would "not" become involved romantically with a person with herpes, to please raise your hand and say that YOU have been tested. not for std's, because as mentioned the herpes test is not part of the standard std test. i am asking, which of you have been tested for herpes--both h1 and/or h2? because that's the problem right there. you probably haven't and 3/4 of you are unknowingly carrying the virus already! more of you are in this "box" than the narcissists who don't bother telling someone when they "do" have it. enough is known "today" to assume the responsibilty to make this virus known to your mates.

remember, it does not always "show". so it's very nice that someone may not sleep with you that night, but that will not necessarily protect either. yes, it depends on the recipients immune system. but, how do you know if the recipient is healthy enough to ward off what YOU are unknowingly carrying. or is it no news is good news for those of you who assume you are not carrying? or will you say, my dr. won't test me because i haven't blistered?

furthermore, if you shockingly find out that you are carrying, but never blistered, what would you do about YOU? you may have slept with only one or two people in your life, but that is the cumulative experience of all who they slept with and all before them who either of them slept with--ad in finitum. or you may have contracted as a child and passed it on orally or genitally years later during a period of stress in your life. also not knowing.

just curious, because i see that as the greatest danger. not knowing and not wanting to know.

ps for those who have not read this entire thread, i've made references before to this disease and am not repeating what i said. so, if you "don't get" this question, then read the rest of this thread.

i said i wouldn't post on the disease again, but this is a secondary thought about those who claim they don't have the disease and have not tested!!! they carry, but they are just not personally symptomatic. not good enough, if you really want to make an "informed" decision.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 53
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 6:41:40 AM
I do get blood tests, it is the responsible thing to do if you are sexually active. Condoms only protect so much. I cannot imagine being so cavalier about my health that I would not routinely be tested when I am sexually active. Not knowing may let you sleep at night, while in the meantime you may be infecting others and not taking care of preventing the ravages of whatever disease you may have living in your body at that time.

I have a dear friend who contracted HIV from her live-in. He cheated on her once, and now, she is living with HIV. She is not doing well and frankly, it costs a great deal to treat it effectively. Knowledge is powerful when it comes to protecting your health. STDs are a reality of being sexually active and you can take precautions to lessen your exposure to what your partner may or may not know that they have.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 54
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 6:59:48 AM
One and only one partner since '86. Tested for practically everything communicable annually through the '80s and '90s because of where I worked. Lots of vaccines of various kinds because they were required by my job in the '90s. Major blood work done in 2001, required by social services and social security. I am as disease free as it's possible to be. Unless you count arthritis, and that's neither communicable nor a disease, it's structural disintegration. And it's not that bad, anyway.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 55
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 7:58:20 AM

I think most of the people in the 45 + forums wouldn't become involved romantically w/ anyone, so the chance of herpes or any other std (or the swine flu, chicken pox or even THE COOTIES!!!) just gives them yet another excuse

LMAO (Funnnnnny! Too bad it's soooooo true!!)

~OT~ I would have to address the herpes issue if it happened. Much like I've had to deal with other things: addictions, criminal history, emotional disorders, etc., etc., etc. Everyone has something that needs to be disclosed it seems and everyone has their own set of issues, past and present (and most likely future.) Health issues are just more issues in a long line of issues. JMO
 Into The Wind
Joined: 8/30/2009
Msg: 56
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 8:06:15 AM
Yes, HSV is very manageable with medication and a little common sense. I may be biased since I was given HSV2 by someone that didn't tell me, but I was married for 11 years and my spouse was never infected. I manage my HSV with Valtrex and keeping the trigger factors as low as possible (stress, diet, etc.) HSV is a simple virus that is easily controlled and monitored, and it is mostly only infectious during an outbreak. However that is not an absolute so common sense needs to be applied. If in doubt, use a condom. Simple. To turn away from someone just because they have HSV would be a mistake. You may miss out on something special. It is not something to be ashamed of, but I would expect someone I was interested in to tell me as soon as appropriate (as in early on). I even have the fact that I am HSV2+ listed in my profile.
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