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 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 66
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?Page 3 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Wowza! Where is the empathy for those who were unknowingly infected and or became infected, even with safe sex? All of us who are sexually active are at risk, all of us. Promiscuity definetly ups the odds, but it just takes one encounter at the wrong time to change our situation. Practicing safe sex along with regular blood tests are the only smart things to do and as one poster pointed out, you may just have to ask outrightly to be tested for Herpes.

Every person who knows that they are infected then has the responsibility to any future partner to disclose that they are infected. It is the right thing to do and says tons about their character. It may limit their pond, to be sure, but it is what it is. It is no wonder why some will not be honest, just look at the acrimonious attitude on this thread.

I do not understand how anyone can be so judgemenal on this issue when every time we have sex, we are taking a chance, even with someone we believe we are in a exclusive relationship with. Sex is a part of living and I want to live life to the fullest and that does involve risk.
 Gue$$who
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 67
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/24/2009 8:45:18 PM
Excuse my ignorance on this topic but I've heard if people take medication to control this, they can't give it to another person, it's only if they have a breakout?
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 72
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/25/2009 1:23:06 PM
FarmEXe

My ex-husband cheated and gave me HPV, which within two years after our divorce and then eight years later, a second bout, is what I suspect caused me to develop me cervical cancer. All of my blood tests before that had been fine,and we had been married for over 20 years. Being bitter at him for giving me a very common STD is not going to change all that I went through over it. He had been my one and only sexual partner my whole adult life until after I divorced. He did not knowingly pass it on to, he did, however, make the choice to cheat without thinking of all of the consequences.

I do not wish him anything other than happiness. Life is too short for that kind of negativity. I loved him dearly, chose him to be my husband and father to the most wonderful two children, and shared much happiness through our marriage. How could I wish him or anyone else for that matter to go to hell? I think people with a moral thought in their head, feel very guilty about any hurt they cause others, maybe not a that given point in their lives, but it does dawn on them that they have been incredibly selfish at a later time in their lives.


As Grace woud have it, I am well now, have had a hysterectomy, and my last four blood tests have shown that HPV has gone away on its own. It does do that and I feel blessed to be a healthy and a very happy woman.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 77
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/26/2009 9:42:29 AM
I am one of the 80-90%who has Type 1. My first outbreak, I was in 4th grade. I have learned over the years to decrease the severity. Those nasty looking cold sores have been allowed to become infected. At the first sign of the tingling, I get out the blistex, and apply it frequently to keep the skin moisturized. When the blister is full, I carefully clean it and open the bottom of the sore with a sterile needle, allow it to drain, keep it clean, and still use the blistex. The top layer of skin will come off after it is heeled underneath, and sometimes, the skin reattaches itself, without peeling off at all. So long as I can keep it from drying out and scabbing over, most people do not even know I have a cold sore.
I know I can pass this to my genitals, myself. Afterall, we dont wash our hands "before" we go to the bathroom. Only after, and we know a lot of people who dont even wash after.

When I first started reading this thread, I was impressed with the comments, they were open, honest, knowledgable. Then, sure enough, after a while the rodents come out of the wall, with their judgmental attitudes. The ones who need to read this thread, and the many others on here, like it, will never read it, or acknowledge they could possibly have either type.
What I find surprising, is that with the herpes rate at 80-90%, very few will even admit to a cold sore, or acknowledge it being in the same group as Type 2--genital.
Sorry to burst the bubble with all the testing, but, I dont believe it for a minute. I have dated maybe 35 guys off here, mostly a first meet type of thing. I have spoken to dozens and dozens. Not ONE man has ever brought up the STD question, let alone testing.
None of us are so perfect that we do everything right, everytime time. I think that's being "human".

One last thought, I always get a kick out of the Valtrex commercials. Those beautiful actors and actresses. They feed on the publics fear, get them to spend hundreds of dollars a month, $265, the last I heard, but if you really listen to the ad, at the end, it says it MAY not reduce the risk of transmission, only decrease the risk of outbreak(in Some people), and we all know you can transmit the disease without an open area.
JMO
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 79
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/26/2009 1:56:55 PM
So here's a question relative specifically to the above as a given: you meet Him/Her. Everything is mostly as you've been dreaming and hoping it might be. Amazing potential romantic. Then you learn S/he has herpes. You don't.

Would you jump in anyway? Why or why not?


Nope. because they have a sexually transmitted disease.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 80
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/26/2009 3:19:03 PM
^^^^^^^^
I would consider the person, and not the degree of "injury", if in fact there was a degree.
Honestly most people seem to go on with their lives, quite well, with herpes.
Is hsv 1 a std? It could go either way.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 81
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:38:02 AM
Nope. Unlike love, herpes is forever.

I'll pass.
 Feasterner
Joined: 12/13/2009
Msg: 82
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/29/2009 1:21:48 PM

How do we know the Tiger has been have "unprotected "sex?
That the Tiger has not been wearing his raincoat?

Nobody cares about that. It's his and those women's business. However, there should be some people who get hurt from his scandal. A study from UOC shows Tiger Woods's scandal costs his main sponsors up to $12 billion, which absolutely causes losses of these sponsor organizations' shareholders. It's not only a moral problem but also an economic problem. Maybe the first golfer'll disappear in his scandal...
 Feasterner
Joined: 12/13/2009
Msg: 83
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/29/2009 3:28:27 PM

I'm sure most people who have herpes today weren't informed by their sexual partners beforehand.

First of all, these people are trash. Second, people who want to have an intimate affair should be patient before getting physically checked. It's surprised that some people here don't care about the herpes.
An American study shows that young women who don't know they have the virus that causes genital herpes could be unknowingly fueling the herpes epidemic. Although they have no symptoms of the disease and have not been tested, many women are actively shedding the virus in their genital tracts. In the United States, at least 45 million people 12 and older, or one out of five adolescents and adults, have genital herpes. Now I can understand why they don't care...
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 84
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:11:59 PM
Maybe we could leave Tiger out of this forum. Great way to spread rumors. If, If, If. We dont know 5% of what actually happened.

Second of all, Feastener, 80-90% of the population are not "trash". The majority of people on here DO care about herpes, among other stds. Men AND women shed this virus.
I didnt learn of a "genital" tract in my college classes. Gastrointestinal, and urinary. No genital. I did learn of the reproductive system, or genitalia.

There should not be a stigma associated with having the herpes virus. (since only 10% of us are clear). Not having it, is now abnormal. Only passing it along nonchalantly, not informing others, depriving them of their right to choose, that is where the violation is.

I dont differentiate between either type. Honestly, at least if I had type 2, it would be hidden from public view. herpes is herpes. either can be in either place.

Oh, JMO
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 85
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:48:10 PM
Well STOP kissing Sweetheart.: Do you Google?


Treatment
Causes
Tests & diagnosis
Prognosis
Prevention
Complications
When to contact a doctor
U.S. National Library of Medicine

Find this content and more from trusted sources.
MedlinePlus
Herpes simplex
Overview

Herpes simplex is an infection that mainly affects the mouth or genital area.
Symptoms

* Mouth sores
* Genital lesions -- there may first be a burning or tingling sensation
* Blisters or ulcers -- most often on the mouth, lips and gums, or genitals
* Fever blisters
* Fever -- especially during the first episode
* Enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin

Treatment

Some cases are mild and may not need treatment.

People who have severe or prolonged cases, immune system problems, or frequent recurrences may need to take antiviral medications such as acyclovir (Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), and valacyclovir (Valtrex).

People who have more than 6 recurrences of genital herpes per year may need to continue taking antiviral medications to reduce recurrences.
Causes

There are two different strains of herpes simplex viruses:

* Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) is usually associated with infections of the lips, mouth, and face. It is the most common herpes simplex virus and most people develop it in childhood. HSV-1 often causes lesions inside the mouth, such as cold sores (fever blisters), or infection of the eye (especially the conjunctiva and cornea). It can also lead to infection of the lining of the brain (meningoencephalitis). It is transmitted by contact with infected saliva. By adulthood, up to 90% of people will have antibodies to HSV-1.
* Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) is sexually transmitted. Symptoms include genital ulcers or sores. In addition to oral and genital sores, the virus can also lead to complications such as infection of the lining of the brain and the brain itself (meningoencephalitis) in neonatal infants due to infection during birth. However, some people have HSV-2 but do not show symptoms. Up to 30% of U.S. adults have antibodies against HSV-2. Cross-infection of type 1 and 2 viruses may occur from oral-genital contact.

A finger infection, called herpetic whitlow, is another form of herpes. It usually affects health care providers who are exposed to saliva during procedures. Sometimes, young children also can get the disease.

The herpes virus can infect the fetus and cause abnormalities. A mother who is infected with herpes may transmit the virus to her newborn during vaginal delivery, especially if the mother has an active infection at the time of delivery.

It's possible for the virus to be transmitted even when there are no symptoms or visible sores.
Tests & diagnosis

Many times, doctors can tell whether you have a herpes-simplex infection simply by looking at the lesions. However, certain tests may be ordered to be sure of the diagnosis. These tests include:

* Blood test
* Viral culture of the lesion
* Direct fluorescent antibody (DFA) test

Prognosis

The oral or genital lesions usually heal on their own in 7 to 10 days. The infection may be more severe and last longer in people who have a condition that weakens the immune system.

Once an infection occurs, the virus spreads to nerve cells and stays in the body for the rest of a person's life. It may come back from time to time and cause symptoms, or flares. Recurrences may be triggered by excess sunlight, fever, stress, acute illness, and medications or conditions that weaken the immune system (such as cancer, HIV/AIDS, or the use of corticosteroids).
Prevention

Preventing herpes simplex is difficult since people can spread the virus even when they don't have any symptoms of an active outbreak.

Avoiding direct contact with an open lesion will lower the risk of infection.

People with genital herpes should avoid sexual contact when they have active lesions. Safer sex behaviors, including the use of condoms, may also lower the risk of infection.

People with active herpes lesions should also avoid contact with newborns, children with eczema, or people with suppressed immune systems, because these groups are at higher risk for more severe disease.

To decrease the risk of infecting newborns, a cesarean delivery (C-section) is recommended for pregnant women who have an active herpes simplex infection at the time of delivery.
Complications

* Meningitis
* Encephalitis
* Eczema herpetiform (widespread herpes across the skin)
* Infection of the eye -- keratoconjunctivitis
* Prolonged, severe infection in immunosuppressed individuals
* Pneumonia
* Infection of the trachea

When to contact a doctor

Call your health care provider if you develop symptoms which appear to be herpes infection. There are many different conditions that can cause similar lesions (especially in the genital area).

If you have a history of herpes infection and develop similar lesions, tell your health care provider if they do not get better after 7 to 10 days, or if you have a condition that weakens your immune system.

Illustrations
Herpetic whitlow on the thumb

Herpetic whitlow on the thumb
Herpes simplex - close-up

Herpes simplex - close-up
News More »
Maternal and Neonatal Herpes Simplex Virus Infections
New England Journal of Medicine (subscription) - 9 hours ago
by Corey, L. To the Editor: In their informative review article on infection with herpes simplex virus (HSV), Corey and Wald (Oct. 1 issue) 1 do not make it ...
Vical gets US patent cover for herpes simplex DNA vaccine
pharmabiz.com - 1 day ago
7628993 covering DNA vaccines for herpes simplex virus type-2 (HSV-2). HSV-2 is a sexually transmitted virus which is the leading cause of genital herpes. ...
Vical and the University of Washington Receive US Patent for Herpes Simplex ...
CNNMoney.com (press release) - 1 week ago
7628993 covering DNA vaccines for herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). HSV-2 is a sexually transmitted virus which is the leading cause of genital herpes. ...
Vical Inc awarded US patent for herpes simplex DNA vaccine Trading Markets (press release)
Patent Issued to Vical and UW Xconomy
Vical says gets US patent for herpes DNA vaccine Reuters
all news 4 articles »
Google Scholar More »
Herpes simplex viruses and their replication
B Roizman,AE Sears - The human herpesviruses, 1993 - books.google.com
Herpes simplex virus-1 entry into cells mediated by a novel member of the TNF/NGF receptor family
RI Montgomery,MS Warner,BJ Lum,PG Spear - Cell, 1996 - www.cell.com
Attenuated multi–mutated herpes simplex virus–1 for the treatment of malignant gliomas
T Mineta,SD Rabkin,T Yazaki,WD Hunter,RL Martuza - Nature Medicine, 1995 - www.nature.com
Search Trends
People who searched for Herpes simplex also searched for:
Conditions

1. infection
2. cold sores
3. hiv infection
4. shingles
5. genital herpes
6. pregnancy
7. human papillomavirus infection
8. skin rash

Symptoms

1. fever
2. headache
3. cough
4. inflammation
5. sore throat
6. back pain
7. fatigue
8. diarrhea

Drugs

1. acyclovir
2. valtrex
3. regular insulin
4. abreva
5. hydrocortisone
6. metronidazole
7. rid
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 86
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 1/19/2010 8:54:31 AM
Nope.


Unlike love, herpes is forever.



:(
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 87
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 1/20/2010 8:21:43 PM
Once daily Valtrex?.... if its in your medicine arsenal we are not dating.

And yes, I get all my dates tested if they are moving from buckle bunny to girlfriend material. Until then, double wrap the monkey.
 duck25
Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 88
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 1/21/2010 2:01:00 PM
A few yrs ago I was involved with a guy who had it and didnt even know it. Couple months later I have an outbreak and go see the doc. Well needless to say surprised the crap out of me. Since then Ive told everyone Ive been with about it. So yes I would cause I already have it. Plus over half of the population has it. Not going to kill you.
 C2H5OH
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 96
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 4/30/2010 6:13:08 PM
As long as it's not Space Herpes.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 98
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 5/2/2010 1:09:22 AM
date 3 or date 4 is the clinic. No clinic date, then we really dont have any trust issues that would validate dating further.
Just cuz you got it, dont expect me to enjoy in the idea of 'sharing' it; especially for a lifetime.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 99
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/1/2011 4:16:52 PM
No I won't. STDs are my biggest fears. But I will commend and praise and be VERY grateful for the guy for being honest with me. Well, actually, I will find out anyway because my rule is to get tested first before intimacy. I am clean and disease free and I expect my partner to be too. No offense.

Sorry but I am amazed how some people still don't have the compulsary STD testing AFTER the AIDS era.... makes me shakes my head.
 luanne_obs
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 100
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:56:11 AM
My feeling Taoistic is that as long as they tell you "prior to having sex" or being intimate with you, then why should they "define themselves" as herpes. People are so much more than "herpes". You may find out that you truly like "the person". You won't die from herpes, it's simply an inconvenience for most.

On the flip side though, I do understand you not wanting to contract herpes, but there is absolutely NO WAY to get all "honesty" out in one conversation. I'm sure you well know it takes a very LONG time to get to know someone real well. Some things are not worth being "judged" for. Other things which might be "deal breakers" for some are past interracial relationships. Of course, that then becomes another issue for you as the dater to either be able to cope with or not.

NOW, if they have sex with you and DON'T tell you up front....... you're right and you should and could have every right to be angry.

Honesty is the very best policy in all relationships.

Just sayin'
 Potrice
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 101
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/9/2011 1:34:19 PM
Absolutely not...if they have herpes, it's a bye bye for me.
 RedRani
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 105
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/15/2011 5:39:53 AM
If he or she is honestly Mr or Mrs right; I like to call very compatible/perfect match (not perfect person) I would hope most people that are looking/seeking a REAL long term relationship and are over 35 would not be bothered by it at all. There's A LOT of people out there that have it and will lie to your face or they will be hoping stds are never mentioned. IT IS possible to contract it even with medication and condoms. Oral can be passed to genital (which is becoming HIGHLY common) and genital to oral. It is a SKIN condition cause by a virus. Chicken pox is a form of herpes as well. Most humans have herpes type 1 or maybe it is better to say oral herpes as the two are commonly found on either end these days. HSV-1 is actually more dangerous than HSV-2. People's biggest issues is that is on the genitals.

I am looking for a GREAT match. Life style, MORALS, goals, culture. This in it self is hard for most (look at divorce). HONESTY is becoming harder and harder to come by (look at divorce). Many people will lie to not get rejected; to get what they want; to" have their cake and eat it too".

Good Luck Everyone!
 pauliesusan3
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 106
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/18/2011 7:26:18 AM
what a great reply! especially the last bit about "not the boogie man"
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 107
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/18/2011 11:17:02 AM
I would say no...not because I am scared or uninformed, for my sister (due to a cheating partner) has this condition.
I have seen how this has effected her, her children and future relationships (which there's has been none).
This is very selfish and perhaps superficial but I do believe if given the choice I would decline.
BUT
I would have a harder time with this question if the "One" was standing in front of me.
If the crystal ball said "This is your Soul-Mate", truth be known...I would say yes.
And
Understanding the condition, respecting the person, caution and compassion can all led to a healthy relationship.
So
How can I really answer this...Hard

All good...for my chances at a soul-mate have been next to nil.
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