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 C2H5OH
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 96
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?Page 5 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
As long as it's not Space Herpes.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 98
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 5/2/2010 1:09:22 AM
date 3 or date 4 is the clinic. No clinic date, then we really dont have any trust issues that would validate dating further.
Just cuz you got it, dont expect me to enjoy in the idea of 'sharing' it; especially for a lifetime.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 99
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/1/2011 4:16:52 PM
No I won't. STDs are my biggest fears. But I will commend and praise and be VERY grateful for the guy for being honest with me. Well, actually, I will find out anyway because my rule is to get tested first before intimacy. I am clean and disease free and I expect my partner to be too. No offense.

Sorry but I am amazed how some people still don't have the compulsary STD testing AFTER the AIDS era.... makes me shakes my head.
 luanne_obs
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 100
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:56:11 AM
My feeling Taoistic is that as long as they tell you "prior to having sex" or being intimate with you, then why should they "define themselves" as herpes. People are so much more than "herpes". You may find out that you truly like "the person". You won't die from herpes, it's simply an inconvenience for most.

On the flip side though, I do understand you not wanting to contract herpes, but there is absolutely NO WAY to get all "honesty" out in one conversation. I'm sure you well know it takes a very LONG time to get to know someone real well. Some things are not worth being "judged" for. Other things which might be "deal breakers" for some are past interracial relationships. Of course, that then becomes another issue for you as the dater to either be able to cope with or not.

NOW, if they have sex with you and DON'T tell you up front....... you're right and you should and could have every right to be angry.

Honesty is the very best policy in all relationships.

Just sayin'
 Potrice
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 101
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 8/9/2011 1:34:19 PM
Absolutely not...if they have herpes, it's a bye bye for me.
 RedRani
Joined: 7/26/2011
Msg: 105
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/15/2011 5:39:53 AM
If he or she is honestly Mr or Mrs right; I like to call very compatible/perfect match (not perfect person) I would hope most people that are looking/seeking a REAL long term relationship and are over 35 would not be bothered by it at all. There's A LOT of people out there that have it and will lie to your face or they will be hoping stds are never mentioned. IT IS possible to contract it even with medication and condoms. Oral can be passed to genital (which is becoming HIGHLY common) and genital to oral. It is a SKIN condition cause by a virus. Chicken pox is a form of herpes as well. Most humans have herpes type 1 or maybe it is better to say oral herpes as the two are commonly found on either end these days. HSV-1 is actually more dangerous than HSV-2. People's biggest issues is that is on the genitals.

I am looking for a GREAT match. Life style, MORALS, goals, culture. This in it self is hard for most (look at divorce). HONESTY is becoming harder and harder to come by (look at divorce). Many people will lie to not get rejected; to get what they want; to" have their cake and eat it too".

Good Luck Everyone!
 pauliesusan3
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 106
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/18/2011 7:26:18 AM
what a great reply! especially the last bit about "not the boogie man"
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 107
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/18/2011 11:17:02 AM
I would say no...not because I am scared or uninformed, for my sister (due to a cheating partner) has this condition.
I have seen how this has effected her, her children and future relationships (which there's has been none).
This is very selfish and perhaps superficial but I do believe if given the choice I would decline.
BUT
I would have a harder time with this question if the "One" was standing in front of me.
If the crystal ball said "This is your Soul-Mate", truth be known...I would say yes.
And
Understanding the condition, respecting the person, caution and compassion can all led to a healthy relationship.
So
How can I really answer this...Hard

All good...for my chances at a soul-mate have been next to nil.
 Lastchancehere4u
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 108
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:17:22 AM
Just like the thing before "Then" taking place on myself~
I think I would like to escape after the talk! But if I fall in deep love with the person, I will consider educate myself about herpes. One of my friend who works for a herpes dating site herpeslove,net tell me that Ignorance and denial is not the solution. Hope everyone is far away from herpes~
 VolcanoKing
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 109
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 9/7/2012 2:14:59 PM
HSV1 is oral herpes, aka cold sores. Alot of people have this, you can get it by simply having a relative who has an open sore give you a kiss on the mouth. HSV2 is genital herpes. They essentially work the same way, the breakout period lasting 8-10 days while the sore presents, breaks open and then heals.

The tricky thing about herpes is that it can also spread when there is no sore present..."viral shedding" which is invisible and can happen at any time. Also, condoms don't fully cover you because any skin to skin contact (legs, inner thighs, around the genitals) can transmit the virus. I knew someone who had terrible initial breakouts that spread down his butt and legs.

There are medications to help control the frequency of breakouts. But this doesn't make the person "more safe" to be with. You can still catch it via the viral shedding.

It's a situation of Russian roulette, you may be with someone for years and never get it, or get it the first time. Some people suffer bad breakouts and some people may have none. That's what makes it so insidious.

It's related to chicken pox. The same family of viruses. It lays dormant in the spine just like chicken pox does..as you know, once you have had chicken pox it's just being supressed by your immune system and can re-emergre later in life as shingles. But herpes can re emerge over and over again thru out someone's life.

This is why my definition of "Mr. Right" needs to include that he be STD free. But plenty of people aren't bothered by this sort of risk, or they already have it so it's no big deal.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 110
 SouthFLHerpes
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 111
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/10/2013 7:01:15 AM
Had I known that my first sexual partner (at age 20) had herpes I would have said no. I would have never put myself at risk. I've been mostly single the past 23 years. Every non herpes woman I meet disappears as soon as I tell her (I've read the books, I'm educated on how to have the talk). And honest in my area (South Florida) there aren't many women with herpes. I wasn't attracted to the three I met. I've been on herpes exclusive sites for 10 years and haven't met anyone even though I've introduced myself to nearly 1600 women over the past 10 years. And on this site, women (and men) find it humorous to send embarrassing messages to me telling me to stick to my own kind and keep my disease off the site. It's sad. I didn't want this. I used to dream of being married and having a family. Now I'm just alone and it appears it's staying that way. Avoid getting this disease at all costs. It's a curse.
 sassybaby2013
Joined: 12/31/2012
Msg: 112
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/10/2013 8:24:15 AM
Thats sad. So how can you protect your partner from getting it? Also the medication to treat Herpes must be very expensive.g
 DevilfromToronto
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 113
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 114
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:11:36 AM
If I found out the man I was dating had herpes there wouldn't be enough time for me to find out if he was Mr. Right, I would be out the door. Sorry, but I'm not risking getting infected with a disease that does not have a cure.
 rockstar_ocnj
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 115
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:12:04 AM
Interesting fact on herpes: Most of us can have it, and we'll never know or have a single sign of it for our entire lives. It's way more common than you'd think.

Luckily, at it's worst, it's really no more than a minor inconvenience, and medicine has been getting better at preventing outbreaks.

HSV1, most of this thread probably has it. HS2 isn't as common, but it's still up there, we just only know the people who actually show signs of it.

I'd have nothing against being romantically involved with someone, but I'd still be really careful. Even though it's just some discomfort for a few days whenever it decides to act up, it's really not something that I want to go through.
 ROHgirlzz
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 116
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:16:58 AM
Everyone deserves to have love in their life. If I met .. and after getting to know about him .. fell in love with him and we discussed the fact that he had herpes and he was very open and honest, I'm sure I would not want to end my relationship with him. So we would explore every way possible to deal with the situation, to help me feel as safe as possible, and go on enjoying our deepening relationship. I'm sure there are zillions of people who have herpes that are absolutely wonderful and can love someone deeply and enrich their life. It's a shame to punish all those who have contracted a virus possibly without having any knowledge at the time, and maybe miss out on the greatest love of one's life ! After all, how many partners have we all had that didn't have an STD that we knew of, but left us brokenhearted in so many other ways?

Compassion and common sense ... goes a long way toward happiness.
 DavidJoseph2013
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 117
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/13/2013 5:49:29 PM

Herpes is a very common infection that is caused by one of two different types of viruses:

Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) or
herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2).

Both of these viruses can affect the mouth or genitals. HSV-1 has traditionally been associated with an infection in the mouth, while HSV-2 typically infects the genitals. However, recent research shows that HSV-1 is becoming a more common cause of genital herpes infections as well.

HSV-1 is widespread—an estimated 80 percent of adults are infected with it, as are half children under age six. HSV-2 is also quite common and affects about 20 percent of young adults.

Source: http://medweb.mit.edu


....In other words, 4 out of 5 adults posting here will test positive for HSV-1 that is fast becoming a more common cause for genital herpes infections.

....Eventually, as with the thousands of viruses throughout the world, including the now common cold that initially caused a lot of grief, or the many types of influenza that killed millions, everyone will test positive for both HSV-1 and 2.

....Folks withe most serious outbreaks will typically have their immune system compromised by being overloaded with other inputs, including physiological and psychological, such as excessive stress.

....Personally, I test negative for both, but under the circumstances, I don't think it would be the end of the world.


==============
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 118
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/13/2013 7:05:29 PM
Lots of people are born with it so it would be sad to exclude them from being allowed to be loved. Are some of you people so shallow to discard someone because of a virus? Have you never suffered from the common cold? or other viral infections, either? Hmm, perhaps you're just trying to seek revenge for you yourself from being rejected due to a lack of intellect, emotional and otherwise.
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 119
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Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/13/2013 9:30:04 PM

Lots of people are born with it so it would be sad to exclude them from being allowed to be loved. Are some of you people so shallow to discard someone because of a virus? Have you never suffered from the common cold? or other viral infections, either? Hmm, perhaps you're just trying to seek revenge for you yourself from being rejected due to a lack of intellect, emotional and otherwise.


I'm not suggesting that people with herpes should be excluded from being loved, not at all. However, it is my preference to not date someone who has a communicable disease that has no cure and can cause outbreaks for the rest of my life. I don't think this has anything to do with lack of intellect or emotional maturity; it's a preference to not face that risk and then deal with the consequences of making that choice. Besides, if what everyone has been saying is true, that a sizeable amount of the population is infected, then there should be no problem finding someone who has already contracted the virus and therefore does not have to take a risk with an infected partner.
 DavidJoseph2013
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 120
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/14/2013 8:25:02 PM

New:
Besides, if what everyone has been saying is true, that a sizeable amount of the population is infected, then there should be no problem finding someone who has already contracted the virus and therefore does not have to take a risk with an infected partner.


....With now 80% testing positive for HSV1, unless you have been tested, you don't know that you are not now a carrier.

....Very few people go through life with not having a cold sore inside, or outside their mouth. Obviously, from oral sex, is why the growing increase of HSV1 as genital herpes.... including those smooth shaves and waxes creating microscopic sores that allow the virus to be transmitted

....Personally, I was actually surprised that I tested negative for both, but I would have to see the recent paperwork to believe someone might not have at least HSV1 and I say might, because there is an incubation period of like 16 weeks.

....There is a lot to be said about monogamy.

============
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 121
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/15/2013 3:51:07 PM

....In other words, 4 out of 5 adults posting here will test positive for HSV-1 that is fast becoming a more common cause for genital herpes infections

This is a deceptive statement because if you have HSV 1 .. you can't get it again.
 DavidJoseph2013
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 122
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 3/15/2013 4:44:54 PM

Stubi
This is a deceptive statement because if you have HSV 1 .. you can't get it again.


....I believe you missed that HSV1 (oral herpes) has increasingly become the causative for genital herpes that previously was dominated by HSV2.

....Absolutely nothing deceptive on my end and for the record, there are 8 known types of herpes, beginning with HSV1 through HSV8.... where virtually all of humankind unanimously carries types, 3, 5 and 6.

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