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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Christmas present, Christmas past.      Home login  
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 lostsoullooking
Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 61
Christmas present, Christmas past.Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
...Don't cry because it's over...smile because it happened. Memories are a good thing to hold on to.


A great thought but it has been less than a year since she passed away suddenly. We thought we still had several years before dementia claimed her. This would have been our 26th Christmas together.

I am getting there but it is not an overnight project.

Now let us have one more course of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

lsl
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 62
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/24/2009 9:48:44 PM
If it doesn't move.......I decorate it!!
Christmas is my favorite time of year.
Yes, I'm single.....not dating......no kids at home....money is tight.....stressed out...BUT
like a few others said.......I do it for "me".
Yes, family and friends love seeing it.......but I find the lights of my trees and village
(OK.....metropolis) very cozy ....soothes me after a long day of work.
I work in Mall Management.....it would be very easy to let the ridiculous-ness
of Christmas put me out of the mood.
But I refuse to let all the commercialization jade me.
Santa is alive and well in my world.
and later today.....My family and I will be having a birthday party for Jesus.
It is a tradition to have a birthday cake for him....so we all remember what this
day really means.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 63
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/25/2009 4:51:35 AM
Merry Christmas to all of you!

Miss Mae, thank you so much for this lovely thread! I am lucky to have my girls and their beloveds here with me today, the house is festive, and I got up at 5:00 to get the cooking done.

Because of this thread, next year, I plan to have an open house in the afternoon. There are so many who do have family,but for whatever reason, they are not spending the h0lidays with them. I may be one of them someday, so I do hope to start a new tradition next year of a holiday open house for all of my single friends.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 64
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/25/2009 6:27:43 AM
That's an awesome idea amethyst!!

I will be spending my afternoon at our local Veterans Organization fixing dinner for about a dozen Vets that have nowhere to go for Christmas.
This has become tradition for the last 4 years and I think I come out of there feeling better than they do!
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 65
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/25/2009 6:45:57 AM
My younger daughter and her boyfriend served Christmas to the needy yesterday here in Houston. She loved helping others and the spirit of giving without spending. My older one does community work as well. In our house, Christmas is about giving time to others, whether it be those we love or those who need to be loved. There are presents under our tree, just a few, but overall, it is about the spirit of the day, not the gifts, much like Zenbeth spoke about in her reply.

Good for you to be with our Vets today, MisMicki, they derserve to have a very special day.
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 66
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/25/2009 8:35:52 AM
In the past , it generally depended on what my life was doing , as to how far I got into decoration and such . I don't have kids ( prefer critters ) - so that was not a factor .

Last year , for the first time , I did no decorating at all - and found it was very freeing . This year , I waited to see if the urge would come - and it didn't. And it's ok.

There are a few factors in my life right now that are causing me to stay in emotional "neutral" - no family here , Mom had a stoke earlier this year , a major road widening project that is causing many huge magnificent trees to be destroyed all around my neighborhood ... : (

As I write , it's raining nicely , my house smells of yummy baking treats , for a gathering later today .

Life is still good in so many ways , and I have much to be grateful for - so I remain positive , and hopeful !

We each need to do whatever it is that works best for us !
 Jim in NB
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 67
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/25/2009 10:50:16 AM
Merry Chirstmas Everyone

Well kids are with their Mom today - we alternate on a yearly basis were the kids spend Christmas = they will be home early tomorrow morning and we will celebrate Christman then - otherwise I would not be on here today! LOL

Decroating - it has slowed down a bit with the kids getting older but the spirit burns alive and bright. Sharing cards and calls and visits with friends and the special memories of Christmases past and the hope of Christmases future ...

And today, this day alone, fells like an absolute bonus day. I have been puttering around the house listening to alot of my favourite music - Van Morrison on now - and I have such a wonderful peaceful feeling I wish this day could last forever ...

Merry Christmas to you all!
 I sure am looking!
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 68
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/27/2009 6:43:05 PM
I almost didn't put my tree up this year. My children are grown with families of their own and we all gang up in one of their houses. Why put up a tree when no one would see it? But my 3-yr old granddaughter is the joy of my life and I wanted to make it exciting and memorable for her. I wanted to see her face when she saw the tiny christmas mice and angels and pretend ice sickles hanging on my tree. I wanted to see her face when she got to hold the special ornaments I have specifically for little hands to touch and feel just like her mother did. I wanted to hear her say, "WOW"! She was there only a couple of hours and it was sooo worth it. And I noticed the tradition of putting up the tree and decorating was comforting and reassuring. Yeah, it's getting harder to keep the tradition alive of my childrens' lives but it's worth it to keep them going.
 pomolive
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 69
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/27/2009 7:17:37 PM
yes the Christmas tree went up along with the lights on the windows as well as wreaths in all the windows and its just me and the cats at home.....BUT my sons and the grand kids will be here Christmas day for dinner AND new years day for dinner so for those 2 days i spent hrs decorating for them and i love it. p.s. i even decorate a small tree in the family room in the basement.......
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 70
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:07:22 AM
My friend did something pretty interesting this year:
He volunteered to drive people from the retirement home to the hospice center, where the retirees sang Christmas carols.

He said it was pretty fulfilling, they were quite accomplished singers, but that they were told to leave by SEVERAL hospice people (just told to "get out!"), which he found amusing and sad at the same time.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 71
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 9:34:35 AM

Miss Mae, thank you so much for this lovely thread!


And thanks to all those that contributed.


Because of this thread, next year, I plan to have an open house in the afternoon. There are so many who do have family,but for whatever reason, they are not spending the h0lidays with them. I may be one of them someday, so I do hope to start a new tradition next year of a holiday open house for all of my single friends.


...I think that's a smashing idea. I just happen to have a few single friends that might enjoy something like that.

...maeflowers
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 72
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 10:34:33 AM

My friend did something pretty interesting this year:
He volunteered to drive people from the retirement home to the hospice center, where the retirees sang Christmas carols.

He said it was pretty fulfilling, they were quite accomplished singers, but that they were told to leave by SEVERAL hospice people (just told to "get out!"), which he found amusing and sad at the same time.

It is not my intent to be a wet blanket however I can understand why so many of those hospice patients did not wish to listen to the carolers. When people reach the acute palliative/hospice stage of their lives, most are often in a great deal of pain, often are incoherent and are praying for the end to come quickly. I have spent time in the acute palliative unit of a hospital and when you are so sick and so scared of the thoughts of what may eventually transpire in possibly the very near future, singers or carollers would have been the last thing I would have wanted to be subjected to. Often those dying want to be left to review their thoughts and memories of a lifetime lived. While the gesture in theory is well-intended, in reality it could be construed as an intrusion of one's last remaining time .
 vwgal00
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 73
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 11:45:54 AM
I put my tree up, mostly because I like it so much. If I did not have the beautiful expensive pre-lit that my ex and I bought several years ago, I would not have done a damn thing this year. I love this tree so much, if I could, it would be up all year. We used to decorate inside and out. Bake and have friends over. Mountains of gifts under and around the tree. Drive around and look at decorated houses.


But, after this Christmas, not sure if I can do it again. I spent Friday alone, did not even get dressed, ate a frozen dinner, took a 6 hour nap, and cried when I was not sleeping. My ex did bring me our son, a few gifts and a plate of dinner (unannounced) about 8:30pm. But really, I was not in a very festive mood.

I grew up in a big family. I am used to chaos. I like chaos. I moved here, away from my family, when my now ex came here for a new career. Now, we are divorced, he has a new family, including our son, and I have no one. He was my family for the last 20 years. My family is spread out along the west coast. I am here by myself.

I now understand why the suicide rate jumps during the holidays.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 74
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 11:55:57 AM
"He said it was pretty fulfilling, they were quite accomplished singers, but that they were told to leave by SEVERAL hospice people (just told to "get out!"), which he found amusing and sad at the same time. "

Wow, sorry but that is very insensitive, and very uneducated to the situation the people are going through. You may end up in palliative/hospice stage yourself, then you will understand things very differently.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 75
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 12:58:04 PM
I'm not sure whom you are calling insensitive. The carollers, the friend, the hospice person, or me. And I don't care, because YOU missed the poignant point of the story, anyway.

Since the hospice invited the group to sing, I'd think THEY--the people who WORK there every day with the dying ones--would know better than the peanut gallery what is and is not "appropriate".

WOW--maybe this is why people don't volunteer, because self-proclaimed know-it-alls/holier-than-thous come and burst the happy bubble.
"Those people in hospice are DYING! They don't want any singing!"
"You can't possibly tell me you serve at the soup kitchen?! They make it easier for people to stay on the streets without addressing the REAL problem!"
"You gave $100 to your favorite charity? You greeedy fktard, you have LOTS more money than THAT!" [this one is a true story from a thread here]
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 76
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 1:09:09 PM
Cassa - doesn't it seem like sometimes a good deed just can't go unpunished? Sucks.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. I think for me (who is a Christmas lunatic, just love it)...I've learned to live with the fact that what WAS, is no more. My moment this year was driving home from my brother's - and having such a pain in my heart, remembering my deceased fiancee on Christmas Eve seven years ago (my God, is it that long?)...driving down that same road after the family get together. Sometimes, on rare occasions, I miss him so much it's like I'm walking out of the hospital that day 5 years ago, and I think I will truly die.

Life, and actually, LIVING, really is a choice. Remembrance can bring laughter or tears - and whichever they bring, I'm glad my heart has experienced things in my life that rise to the level of spectacular.

How were my holidays? They were wonderful, thank you, and I say that with all sincerity.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 77
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Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 1:26:35 PM
"Since the hospice invited the group to sing, I'd think THEY--the people who WORK there every day with the dying ones--would know better than the peanut gallery what is and is not "appropriate". "

Hard to believe that hospic would be so insensitive. I too have worked with the dying, so you are not talking to the peanut gallery.

"WOW--maybe this is why people don't volunteer, because self-proclaimed know-it-alls/holier-than-thous come and burst the happy bubble. "

I have spent my whole adult life volunteering for various charities, as have all my best friends. I love it when one of my friends tells me in detail how someone has lost it with them because that person just know what they are talking about but were so sure they did.

I had to learn the reality of what people actually need in volunteer work. I realize that unless people have been involved they don't get it and get all upset and use words like holier than thou and burst the happy bubble.

People who volunteer to help other understand the holiday spirit. People who voluneer to make themselves feel good just don't get it. People of self never will. Season Greetings!
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 78
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 1:29:02 PM
I put the lights up on the outside of the house and wrapped the front palm tree with a string of lights, (gotta keep the neighborhood festive) however i don't see a need to decorate the inside of the house anymore.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 79
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 4:54:30 PM
the holidays bring such mixed emotions for so many.



...Yes they do. I am currently in another province visiting my sister for the holidays. I usually spend time with my best friend while I'm here, but unfortunately this year that won't be possible....she just passed away a few months ago.

I spoke with her husband on Christmas Eve and we made arrangements to get together on Thursday. That is no doubt going to be difficult for both of us. He is still so grief stricken and I'm not sure I am handling it all that well either.

On the other hand I am so enjoying spending quality time with my siblings. Yesterday my two brothers came by and the four of us spent the afternoon joking and laughing about old times. Pulling out the old photo albums brought back some bitter sweet memories. But it was fun....And I felt a warmth, a closeness I had been missing for a long long, time. Without a doubt, I can say it has been good for the soul.

And I couldn't have chosen a better place to celebrate my birthday today. My sister baked a cake and she put lots of candles on top.... and they didn't even set off the fire alarm.(lol)

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy New Year

...maeflowers
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 80
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 4:56:34 PM
^^^Happy Birthday Mae
I hope 2010 sees all your dreams come true!
You're a gorgeous girl x
 *mandrake*
Joined: 9/19/2006
Msg: 81
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:13:09 PM
Happy Birthday sweety.


Sorry to hear about your friend...Xmas seems to have that "bittersweet" edge for many as time goes on.
 CynthiaMw
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 82
Christmas present, Christmas past.
Posted: 12/28/2009 5:24:58 PM
Although I love the decorations and baking this time of year I'm not Christian so don't have any Christmas traditions to maintain. But, if I broaden the subject to the 'spirit of the season' then the question becomes 'what spirit are you trying to keep alive?'

I just got home from a 9-day cross-continental visit with my fishie (he came to my place for 6 days over Thanksgiving). He has rather unpleasant memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions involving many of the elements people have listed - expected/required meals, expected/required 'togetherness', expected/required rituals.

So this year we purposely did only what we, jointly, wanted to do. Not a turkey or pumpkin pie in sight on Thanksgiving, nor ornaments, gifts, or tv special in sight on Christmas. No hours of cooking followed by an emotional meltdown from stress, fatigue, family drama, or dashed expectations.

What we did have were 2 holidays that, no matter what happens with this relationship, I'll always remember as very special days because we made them ours, not anyone else's expectations. The spirit we kept alive was both the spirit of the season (if not the ritual) and our spirits through co-mmunicating with each other, communing with nature, and giving thanks for what we have.

Peace
CynM

Edit: Happy birthday Mae!! My son's birthday is tomorrow so it will be party time here
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