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 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 48
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I am an introvert and found the few relationships I have had have been extroverts. It would be hard for me to connect with another introvert like myself but not entirely impossible.

thecatsmeoww
 Deerclan
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 49
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 12/25/2009 10:22:10 AM
Extroverts are more welcoming. Introverts are more discriminating.

If you can't keep separate politics & the word "discriminating," you can change it to "evaluative" and still be correct.

God bless our politics, every one.
 mysticaries
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 57
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 12/27/2009 12:16:50 PM
According to the Myers-Briggs, introverts are best suited to be with extroverts in relationships. I'm an introvert, and I wouldn't want to be with another introvert. I need someone to balance me out.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 60
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History
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 1/13/2010 10:49:46 AM
Extroversion and introversion have little to do with how much you like to be with people, but more how you see the world, and how you react to it. Extroverts get re-charged by being with people. Introverts get re-charged by being alone. So it's quite easy for extroverts and introverts to date, as many introverts go out a lot, and many extroverts stay in a lot, and they balance each other out.
 indigo1357
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 62
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:37:38 PM
introverts dating introverts is like trying to stick 2 magnets togther with the same charge facing eachother. If you ever played with speaker magnets you would know what I mean.
 Jeeney
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 63
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:50:44 PM
Of course, there is me. I was in a relationship with very much of an introvert for 20 years, and married to him 15 years. Not sure what I am - I'm not an introvert but totally not an extrovert either. But, he and I were attracted to each other - we got along well. The problem we had in our marriage that when he would go with me to social events (places not with his family), he wouldn't talk or even attempt to socialize. Even with my family - he knew them for 20 years, and still my brother would say that he never knew my husband. Many times he would go to my parents and sit in the corner and read his book.

It got to be very frustrating to me. Eventually we started having marital issues. I would try to talk to him about our marriage, and he kept saying, "I don't know what you want me to say". So he would say nothing. That didn't help a relationship when it had problems. He was not willing to go to a counselor because she he would have to talk to another person. Eventually the marriage failed, and we divorced.
 Mr Bain
Joined: 12/6/2004
Msg: 66
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 1/13/2010 7:28:11 PM
This is a question that strikes near and dear to my heart. I am very introverted, and so was my ex-girlfriend. We broke up five years ago, because I was not happy.

At the time, I wasn't worried about her because I knew an attractive brunette who was almost 6' tall would not have any trouble finding a new man, no matter how insecure she was.

Well, five years later I visit her web site and find that she is still not yet married. She is a couple years older than me. For the first time in quite a while, I'm actually concerned for her.
 FatBottomGirI
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 70
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/23/2011 5:49:52 PM
I would definitely be an introvert. That does not mean I am shy, it's not the same thing. I will have conversations with people out and about. But I prefer the intimacy of a small group of real friends, as opposed to a group of aquaintences. Large groups (especially loud ones) are mentally draining to an introvert. It's hard to explain to an extrovert, because our brains are wired a bit differently. I have no problem going to a movie alone, going out to grab a bite alone, and yet sometimes it's nice to go with a couple of friends. I do go to parties now and then, ie play poker, swim etc. I do not however like wild, loud, out of control parties.
I have dated some extroverts and introverts and find myself most comfortable with an introverts. Though it depends on the degree of extroversion. I have a friend that is very bubbly and talks non-stop. In person she wears me out, completely drains my energy and makes me long for some space. I like her, but if we did not live in different states she would drive me nuts. lol
I have another friend that is outgoing/extroverted but not to the extreme my other one is. I am more comfortable with her for longer periods of time, and we do live in the same city. A guy thay loves to go to wild parties, or night clubs probably would not work for me.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 71
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History
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 12:43:09 AM
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Nope. We're attracted to all kinds of people. The world isn't just introverted or extroverted; it's a range of feelings and behavior.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 72
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 2:14:44 AM
well my boyfriend is very extrovorted. and i am an introvert. but we broke up 3 days ago. because he never stopped cheating on me with this other girl that i guess he is in love with.

i dated 2 introverted guys before. each lasted 2 months only. the relationships were kind of boring.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 73
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:39:07 PM

Extroversion and introversion have little to do with how much you like to be with people, but more how you see the world, and how you react to it. Extroverts get re-charged by being with people. Introverts get re-charged by being alone. So it's quite easy for extroverts and introverts to date, as many introverts go out a lot, and many extroverts stay in a lot, and they balance each other out.

Exactly. After all, if you want to stay home and get some space, another introvert would just be up under your feet. An extrovert won't be there to disturb the peace.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 74
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:45:18 PM
Yep, I agree with the above quote. Introverts don't have to lack social skills.
But gee they can be hard to read - especially for an extrovert like me.
Two introverts would mean a VERY quiet household (which has its benefits).
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 75
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 4:20:22 PM
I think introverts are usually attracted to good looking successful healthy people with as little life baggage as possible. I think extroverts are usually attracted to good looking successful healthy people with as little life baggage as possible.

If you are ridiculously good looking and/or wealthy, you don't need to outgoing to get a mate. They find you. Plenty of men will hone in on huge breasts like sharks to blood in the water and plenty of women will heat seek like a missile to big money like white on rice. All? No. Most? I suspect so in my opinion.

It's when a person starts sliding down the pole on that age, looks, money, status meter that they need to do more and be more aggressive to keep getting the best options they can get at the time.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 76
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/26/2011 4:34:08 PM
I don't mind being the LIFE of the party,

but you will have to go through hell to get me there..




It's when a person starts sliding down the pole on that age, looks, money, status meter that they need to do more and be more aggressive to keep getting the best options they can get at the time.


Yeah..serious. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^No more 10 minute notice either.

It's a real Bytch to have to fix your hair and slip in hose/heels and a dress when you used to could go out anytime looking ridiculously fabulous in ripped jeans, a Budweiser t shirt and chap stick in a pony tail.

That's another 30-45 minutes at least.

Not to mention some days you just have that PUFFY/LAWN CHAIR look from sleeping on your face and it stays that way half of the day.

I would not like to be" ON" 5 nights a week, so if someone is that social/extroverted..Not for me.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 77
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:57:27 PM

I'd rather be with another introvert than an extrovert.

It's been my observation that a majority of extroverts simply do not understand introverts.
As was pointed out earlier in this thread, extroverts "re-charge" by inter-acting with other people, while introverts "re-charge" by spending time alone. The problem is that most extroverts don't seem to understand, or respect, an introvert's need to be alone.

As someone who's a little of both, and need one or the other to feel right at times, I agree with this. I came from a family of at times, emotionally dependent people who felt that if I didn't want to be around people - specifically when they wanted me to join, that it was personal to them. I've been told that needing to be alone meant I didn't care about certain people...being a DJ is perfect for me as I like to people watch but don't always want to interact with those I am watching, at least not one on one. I have to be in the mood for one on one interacting, it tends to wear me out.

I admit too that at times I do the exact opposite and expect that extroverts learn how to be alone more, as I think being alone and truly enjoying it is a gift that most people should experience. I tend to also find people who can't be alone to be immature, to some degree. I'll say I can be judgmental about that; mostly because it directly affects me when they want to be around others.

It's been my experience that many extroverts seem to think introverts need to be pushed or dragged to being more outgoing. The extovert draws his/her energy from being around others, and it seems unthinkable to them that someone would not have a similar desire to be surrounded by others.

In this respect I feel lucky that during the times that I do want to be out and around people, I don't push that on others. I go out alone and interact with those who are up for it, at least during the time I want to.

I don't need the hassle of being around someone who refuses to understand, or be respectful of, my need for my time alone.

Agreed. I guess I don't assume all will be that way, though - a true extrovert won't care if I'm there or I'm participating or not - there are usually enough people around for them to interact with that I don't have to be one of them unless/until I want to be.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 78
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:44:17 PM
most of the guys i've been with are extroverts. i am an introvert. the ones i've been with that are introverts, my attraction towards them turned off pretty fast.

i am an introvert in the sense that i am socially inept, i do not have friends.i do not like to really go outside and socialize. i do not like to go to church. i do not like to go to parties. i do not like to go to clubs. i would rather dress homely clothes than girly clothes. you can see in my pictures that i usually just wear shirts and some shorts on. i stay at home all the time if i do not work. even at home, i do not really converse with the people i am with, i just stay in front of my laptop like what i am doing right now. most of my time is in front of the laptop. but the weird thing is i had several relationships with guys, mostly black guys and some lasted months.
 Becoming_Me
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 79
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:54:32 PM
I am also an introvert, and though I have been attracted to other introverts I in fact find myself most attracted to people who are more outgoing then myself in both my romatic relationships and friendships. I find that I really enjoy people who are diffrent from me. But I think altmently only you can know if you could find yourself attrached to someone who is an extrovert, but it is possible.
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 80
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 9:56:19 PM
I can only tell what my experience has been. Most women when they see a man that isn't as gregarious as they are, tend to stay away. Or maybe the quiet guy pushes women away. I know that I am so shy, I never ask a woman to dance(I'm a pretty good dancer) for fear of rejection. As I got up to do something at the lodge I was in, when I returned I stared at my seat like I was looking at how other people see me. I don't appear approachable. There is a woman there that I have been attracted to for quite awhile, but because she is so outgoing, I thought what's the sense. My point is yes, I think introverts do well staying with other introverts.

JMO
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 81
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 10:41:47 PM
Just a conversational note on shyness for those who are.

Shyness comes off as disinterest publicly. Someone who has interest in you and any self awareness will misinterpret your shyness as not interested in them about 95% of the time.

Shyness won't cross someone's mind as why you won't hold eye contact from across the room...most people are pretty self conscious in situations where they are looking for signs of mutual attraction, so they'll assume you just aren't into 'em and move on.

Just sayin'.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 82
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 11:23:55 PM
I am introverted. However, I am outgoing when I need to be. was a salesman for years. I am not afraid to introduce myself to anyone, or get up in front of a bunch of people and talk. I will go to a party and talk to everyone there. Share stores, break the ice. It is a sort of character I developed when i was a kid to get through those moments. It takes a lot of energy to play that guy.

I tend to be attracted to extroverts. They rarely understand my needs of alone time which has been problematic. Perhaps an introvert is the way to go?
 Jerilyn
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 83
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/8/2011 11:57:19 PM
""Shyness comes off as disinterest publicly. Someone who has interest in you and any self awareness will misinterpret your shyness as not interested in them about 95% of the time""

Shyness has nothing to do with being an introvert.. It is a completely different thing altogether.

I am an introvert and to me there is nothing more annoying than a loud, mouthy, high energy extrovert who always has to be yipping and yapping in order to think... They drain my energy very fast and depending on how extreme it is, I can`t bear to even be around them let alone date them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 84
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:24:41 AM
Shyness has nothing to do with being an introvert.. It is a completely different thing altogether.

I appreciate the point. Had I been confused or made reference to the two being connected it would have been worth posting. I'm not sure what made you think I needed clarification on that, I'm well aware the two aren't connected.

I was responding to the poster before me who mentioned shyness, and I think my post referenced shyness in particular as well. I don't think I addressed introversion once in my post. Thanks anyway, though!
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 85
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:28:30 AM
i am very much a socialized introvert...i CAN be more outgoing, but i am never comfortable doing it...that being said, i tend to prefer extroverts... they get me out of my head, and distract me sitting around reading books all the time...i think i annoy them sometimes, however, because i am harder to get to know...
 Jerilyn
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 86
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/9/2011 10:19:34 AM
what I find annoying is that as an introvert you are constantly told to change your nature to suit the world... I am what I am... there is no changing what I`m hard wired to be... and no, I won`t apologize for it.
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 87
Are introverts only attracted to introverts?
Posted: 10/9/2011 12:19:52 PM
People are complex, and terms like introvert or extravert have limited use, in my opinion, when characterizing someone. I do like the basic popular test of "If you tend to draw energy from being around people you're an extravert, and if you tend to lose energy in the company of people, you're an introvert."

But even that's a tad misleading, because I'm sure some introverts (myself included) gain energy in a one-on-one setting and lose it in a group setting. I'm not at all introverted with a person I'm into; I'm just not much of a party animal and like to avoid groups (though a family or friend-get-together on occasion is a welcome break).

I would not be compatible with what I'd call a "social extravert" - someone who needs to be around lots of people often and is generally rather loudly expressive. I prefer the quieter more reserved intellectual "librarian types." I strongly prefer one-on-one and solitude. I gain energy while reading and thinking and writing and running through the forest and communing with nature unless it involves a mountain lion or grizzly bear.
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