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 AUTHOR
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 4
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
OP, this wasn't a disaster, just a newbie error.
Which is getting all wrapped up in someone you hadn't met.
My guess is you two wouldn't of hit it off if you did meet.
Or he's fake in some way. You didn't miss out,
but probably dodged needless greif.
So try your eyes and gain some perspective from this.

All this is imaginary until you bring it into the real by meeting.
You just expereinced your first online fantasy crush based on nothing.

This is just a way make connections and to meet someone.
it IS NOT a substitute for actual dating.
Nor is it dating.
...at all.

Now that you know you'll be more savvy in the future.

Good Luck
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 5
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History
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:21:11 AM
ummm.... you never met him in person???? please...

should never have any expectations prior to meeting someone... you don't get to know someone through FB or text or notes on here.... time in person gets you to know how someone really is....

live and learn....
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 8
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History
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:26:13 AM

and in truth he is not what i wanted but i went along with it because of his personality and values


I guess that means ugly?????? You were not all that interested and are now upset because he bolted that easily?
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 13
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 12/22/2009 9:46:14 AM
Don't worry about it. You weren't really into him anyway. It's just a little ego bruise, no big deal. You'll be over it in a couple of days.

Next time out, do some talking by voice, and meet sooner rather than later. These are usually the best determinants of compatibility.

Good luck!
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 21
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History
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/1/2010 6:55:28 AM
Don't get caught up in the fantasy pen-pal. Genuine? Do your male friends send you risque texts ? Do you honestly feel comfortable giving a stranger your phone number only to have him use it in this way? So many emails/texts etc before meeting is odd. In the future you may consider sharing a few emails via POF, then meet in person in a public place for a brief hello. Then decide after a face to face conversation if you wish to share your phone number and home email address. Be cautious.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 22
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/1/2010 7:29:06 AM

To be honest it felt too good to be true and in truth he is not what i wanted but i went along with it because of his personality and values.


Two huge mistakes in your part. One if you didn't feel it for the guy, why lead him on, particularly with the statement above. That kind of stuff begins to show in the wash. Guys are not that stupid and are not interested in wasting their own time. Second, and this is not JUST your fault, but his as well. Why waste all that time texting or emailing. You needed to move the connection LIVE. You needed to see if there was chemistry there. Then all the racy stuff may have had meaning. As it is, it doesn't have any meaning. So my advice, is do not waste so much time online, meet. And if you don't feel a guy will lead to romantic notions, then don't waste your own time as well as his.
 reboot1010
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 26
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My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/1/2010 12:50:18 PM
When will you kids learn that nothing good ever happens on facebook.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 27
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My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/1/2010 12:59:36 PM
This is a disaster? You need to buy protective equipment to venture out into the world.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 28
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My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/1/2010 5:41:18 PM
One thing in your post SCREAMS out to me.
The whole wonderful situation went bad when YOU told him that "we might end up being good friends if nothing romtantic happened." IF he happens to have a sore spot, as many guys do, over being put into "friend zone" by women who nevertheless want a guy to spend time and money on them, then THAT'S why it all blew up.
Personally, I don't think it's that much of a loss, since his being THAT sensitive would have doomed things anyway. But for the future, with other guys, stay away from predicting the future of the relationship. Anything you say when predicting the future will just serve to limit what's possible for the two of you, in his mind as well as yours. And ESPECIALLY don't bring up "friend zone" unless you are on the phone LIVE, and he can tell by the tone of your voice what you really mean.
 CA_ExPat
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 33
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My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/7/2010 11:00:39 AM
OK, you did it. It's over. It's probably no big deal. A relationship that didn't work out, Go Fishing.

Here's the lesson which Oliver North learned years ago. Email (now text messages) is forever.

When you send someone "saucy" text or email be sure it's someone you really trust. You might find your messages posted later in other online chat rooms, forums, etc. The rule is: "Protect yourself at all times" and do not text or email anyone anything that would embarrass you if it appeared in your local paper.

Yes, people keep a record of IMs, emails, and text messages. Some people get vindictive when the affair is over and try to damage the other party.

I too love Hot Talk but DO NOT PUT IT IN WRITING. Keep the Hot Talk on the phone where there are laws against recording.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 35
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/7/2010 11:13:19 AM
Jeez - your entire "relationship" is based on texting and writing to each other on Facebook.

Next time, do yourself a big favor and actually talk and interact with the next guy you're interested in. This sounds like a silly pen pal high school situation.
 430 coupe
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 41
My first online disaster. Help and advice needed!
Posted: 2/9/2010 7:12:05 PM
Bottom line... you just have to take it slow and be careful.

Tonight, I just talked to a woman from POF. During our conversation, my phone ran out of charge. By the time I charged it enough to call her back, I had a message from her. She accused me of hanging up on her and that she was never going to talk to me again! LOL

The way I look at it, I saved myself the cost of a coule drinks! LOL
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