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 Classie Sassie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 33
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attractionPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
MissElaineESJones well said the events are important. I couldn't let this email not be known. Be it male or female approach with caution, to many people are 2 trusting and I have found that a person can be whom ever they want 2 b behind a keyboard. Hugs all
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 34
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/22/2010 9:20:22 AM
" but you really arent even worth the time of a nasty gram."

If he didn't classify this as a 'nasty gram', I sure would hate to see a real one!

I have known Miss Classie Sassie for almost a year and I can attest to her being genuine in her search......but for a nice guy, not an individual of this type. Going to the POF events is the best way to get to know others on a real face to face basis without all the issues of a first date. I am one of those guys that likes to send my phone number as well but have never told off someone that wouldn't call......that is up to the lady!

Girls, just for the sake of mentioning, not all guys can type!!! Picture how frustrating it would be to correspond if you were limited to searching for each and every key that you wanted in order to send out an email message. Some men do provide their phone number and are embarrassed to let you know that they can't type. Please think of that when you are asked to call.
 ColsOh1
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 35
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How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/22/2010 10:48:12 AM

Some men do provide their phone number and are embarrassed to let you know that they can't type.


Or is it .....

Let's chat on the phone because I can't spell worth a damn .....

 Lady_A_D
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 36
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How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/22/2010 2:51:55 PM
I have gotten a lot of great ideas from all of you on this subject. I try to respond to each and everyone I get, being polite in my responses. Often times I will go to the section that is titled "who has viewed you" and send them a nice email thanking them for taking their time to read my email. I get back many responses, the majority of them very nice.

I pulled up "Men Who Think You Are Hot" many times, and emailed a couple, even dated one briefly. How does POF know they think you are hot and when exactly did this begin. Sometimes I find it amusing to say the least.
 Notdesper8atall
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 37
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/22/2010 4:27:04 PM
"I pulled up "Men Who Think You Are Hot" many times, and emailed a couple, even dated one briefly. How does POF know they think you are hot and when exactly did this begin. Sometimes I find it amusing to say the least."

This feature is basically crap shoot of sorts on the sites part and really has no basis in real matching other than these folks are fairly close ( within 50 miles usually) to your stated location.

In reference to Miss Classies' situation.. In the online dating world ( same as in the offline one) you will find there are just as many rude ones as good ones. You learn to weed them out and deal with them accordingly. In her case the guy did her a favor and weeded himself out rather quickly( again not all men/women act the way this person did). You also have to realize that people work in different time frames and methods in meeting folks. Some are in a bigger hurry to get things moving than others.

Some folks dont want to wait to do weeks of emailing ( some don't type or spell worth a darn and couldn't articulate a thought without a co-writer..lol) and talking on the phone only to find out that the person wasnt really a match at all. Many also like to get to know the other person through emails and phone chats to get a feel for this person before or even if they want meet the person. And still others like to go the POF meet and greets route.

The later has interested me for quite some time but fate has a way of interveining, in that to date, everyone has fallen on a date of my visitation with my youngest son. More truthfully I should say all the ones that are in my area anyway.
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 38
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/22/2010 8:40:37 PM
It's amazing that there are Neanderthals who actually believe that type of behavior is socially acceptable.

Regardless of motivation, you have to wonder how poorly developed some people's pre-frontal cortex is to allow crap like that to leak out...or in this clowns case, to gush out.

Hopefully he's reading this as he must have got the party girl impression from reading the fora...ahhhhhhhh, unless he can't really read or write and was just looking at pictures.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 39
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/23/2010 3:21:07 AM
Regardless of motivation, you have to wonder how poorly developed some people's pre-frontal cortex is to allow crap like that to leak out...or in this clowns case, to gush out.

Hopefully he's reading this as he must have got the party girl impression from reading the fora...ahhhhhhhh, unless he can't really read or write and was just looking at pictures.



Some people think of this as being funny......................... there are folks on POF that prove this point.

 Rich44601
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 40
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/23/2010 2:56:43 PM
Also, this tells the tale on how important it is to go to those events and get to know people who know other people..... Your joking right? I went to one and left after 30min. It was like being in high school again, everyone in little groups . Now i dont agree with the email he sent, it was just mean and nasty. But it does seem some people are on here just for the parties and nothing else.
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 41
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/23/2010 5:42:21 PM
Rich, I hate to say it but you have to give the events a chance.......30 minutes just isn't a night. Also, it depends on where you went for the event. If it was Don Pablo's or Pancho's in Alliance, then you really didn't go to the right party. You need to come over to the 356th Fighter Group for one of ours. If you don't meet anyone and make new friends, then you just didn't try. There is a party coming up at Rafters in Canton next week that would be a good place to start......and don't judge the people in just 30 minutes time! Last year when I started, I didn't know a soul.......now some of my favorite people are POFrs. Take a chance and try again......you might be surprised.
 Rich44601
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 42
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/24/2010 4:51:23 AM
Paul, the party i went to was at the 356th. While i was there i said hi to a few people and got ignored. So needless to say i wont be going to another one any time soon. If these parties work for you, great and i hope you have fun.
 Rich44601
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 44
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/24/2010 8:34:57 AM
Miss, i think you missed my point. Some people are only on here for the parties and noting else. When you say hi to somebody and they just turn away, well to me thats just rude and i really dont want to be around people like that. Dont get me wrong i'm sure most that go are very nice people. Now for feeling alone or being in a shell,i'm not sure where you got that from. I do get out and meet alot of people, just not thru this site.
 Husker Freak
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 46
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How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/27/2010 6:03:38 PM
I have not stopped but I'm not doing with the frequency that I use to when I first joined the site. Guess I'm getting a little discouraged by folks.


What I have been doing is reading a woman's profile and asking her something about a detail in her profile (i.e. common interest).
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 47
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/27/2010 7:43:11 PM

What I have been doing is reading a woman's profile and asking her something about a detail in her profile (i.e. common interest).
Wow...REALITY! WHAT A CONCEPT!
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 48
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/28/2010 2:50:01 PM
I apologize to all for the off topic post: Rich, I just wanted to invite you to come over to the 356th again on this Saturday the 30th. Give us a chance to show you that not all members are unapproachable. The ladies that have thus far committed, are all true ladies and would be glad to dance or talk to a gentleman.....and I do stress the word gentleman. We will be at the tables behind the band......just look for me (of course I might be on the dance floor.....that is my favorite place to be). By the way, best to plan to be there a couple hours because you might just have fun!

PS: The invitation is open to all! We have a forum thread telling all about it.
 Rich44601
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 49
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/28/2010 5:27:00 PM
Thanks Paul but i have plans this weekend. Hope everyone has fun though.
 Classie Sassie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 50
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:10:39 AM
Personally I am getting to the point that it is best not to respond, I find it a no win situation!
The old saying your damned if ya do & damned if ya don't. I wish you men could see some of the emails that hit my in-box!
Whelp flippin out of here, Paul you take over as I read from the "top" have a great day all & enjoy your weekend ps give a smile 2 someone 2 day
 Husker Freak
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 51
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How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:17:31 PM
I just messaged you Classie Sassie only for it to be rejected by your location restriction. No biggie. Was just curious what kind of messages you were getting.

Regards,
Husker Freak
 Classie Sassie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 52
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:26:15 PM
husker freak answer is your more than 75 miles away.
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 53
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/30/2010 12:43:16 AM
Husker Freak......you can see an example by reading message 29 of this thread. It was just a sample of the type of messages some people send.
 Rich44601
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 54
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/30/2010 4:42:52 PM
Ive re read this and i think i implied some things i didnt mean to. Classie Sassie, i didnt mean to imply the party you hosted was bad or that you was rude. I have never had the pleasure of meeting you, and i hope you dont think anything was directed towards you. Paul and Miss i didnt mean to be kinda short with you two. Someday i hope to meet you guys and say this in person. So i am sorry for any misunderstandings.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 57
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/31/2010 5:40:23 AM
I've messaged several who don't read the messages. Evidently, they are going to my profile and deciding I am not worth the courtesy of even reading my message. A gradual shift toward being disrespectful to people seems to be happening all over in our culture.


Think about the logic. If they check out your e-mail and delete the e-mail you can check and know you were rejected outright. If the person checks your profile and determines they are not interested they delete your unread e-mail . Does it really make a difference if they delete before or after? In the end you were deleted .
 SearchingGal
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 58
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/31/2010 1:57:58 PM
I agree with TJ7. They took the time to look at your profile, it does not hurt to send a response............javascript:smilie('')
 Notdesper8atall
Joined: 6/27/2008
Msg: 59
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 1/31/2010 5:21:49 PM
"I been running into something that I never before had happen in all the time I've been on and off POF (nearly three years). I've messaged several who don't read the messages. Evidently, they are going to my profile and deciding I am not worth the courtesy of even reading my message. A gradual shift toward being disrespectful to people seems to be happening all over in our culture."


I did find it a bit humorous in a twisted way. Men all over POF have had experience with this "phenomina" for a long time and is part of the OP. The shift hasn't been all that gradual at all..the opening up to larger numbers of people ( the internet) just makes it seem so. The rude folks have been around for years, this isnt something new. Say hello to a stranger on the street.. not everyone will respond there either.

I am actually finding that more people are reading and responding to my emails, both the dating/friend kind as well as those on the many forum threads I have become involved in, than before. Perhaps I am not such a bad person after all ( just a touch of sarcasm) LOL.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 60
How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:35:49 AM
Thank you for responding to my profile. I really want to wish you much luck in your search. I am sure you will find what you are looking for.

I write this so much I could write it in my sleep.
 grtlake
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 61
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How to respond to contact emails when theres no attraction
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:11:29 AM
I think that if someone does not respond at all, that is sort of impolite and they are not the type of person I'd want to spend time on anyway.

And if someone responds rudely when you decline nicely, that confirms your decision!
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