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 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 129
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?Page 13 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I don't know...I haven't been on a date since I turned 50. I'm happy, why eff it up?
 egboy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 130
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/4/2010 9:50:29 AM
I don't see why you ladys have a problem. I see all the time that most have so many hits from men that you can't read them all much less answer them. My ex was on a site for 3 months and got around a 100 hits a month. She's not the best looking lady but not a dog eather. She picked one guy out. Dated him for a month. He asked her to marry him and 5 months later they were. He lied his ass off about his finances (he didn't make as much as he said and the house he was liveing in was his ex's) but she is still married to him after 6yrs. and saies she has never been happier.
I have seen some of you ladys on here and other sites for years now and you still haven't found a guy you'ed like to be more than just frinds with.
This should be easy. You have alot more info to start with here (more or less truth) than any other way of meeting. You can email, talk on the phone and IM .
I have went as far as England tring to find the one for me but they all just want to be frinds nothing more. That's why I put on my profile I don't need any more just frinds. I have plenty.
GET OFF YOUR BUTTS AND PICK SOMEONE. YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER TO DO SO. We men are at your merrcy and waiting.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 131
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:27:23 PM
...Is it tough?

I somehow missed the memo...no one told me how tough it was going to be.... And here I thought quitting smoking was the feat of a lifetime (lol)


...mae.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 132
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/4/2010 8:05:48 PM
"I think it can be a pretty difficult thing....I am looking for a whole new group of friends to hang out with too..."

It can be twice as difficult if we are also trying to create a new lifestyle too. (Not saying you are mokat.) Once we have a good group of friends as a support groupt the world is a different place. We get to go places with friends where we meet new possible dates.
While the economy isn't a problem local to me, I can see where it would be a huge problem in areas where there is an economic down turn.
Yes, I expect a man to ask for the first day, and pay for it. I can certainly pay for the second date.
 TexasRose554
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 134
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/18/2010 2:29:22 PM
It can be tough at any age. It just depends on what you make of it. Every age has its challenges and rewards. Frankly, I almost find it easier at this age since I really don't feel like there is a clock ticking.
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 135
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/18/2010 8:07:45 PM
Life is good.

Keep it simple. Don't overanalyze, there are no absolute answers - it's all really just magic !!

Be happy single - if you're not, then find out why!

Have faith :-)
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 136
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/22/2010 10:46:57 PM
java41 - msg 289

I can't understand why anyone would pay to get into a dance and expect women to ask them to dance. They will sit there until it happens to. It seems a little backwards to me. Men are real complex.

You hit the nail on the head. It takes a lot of nerve and complexity to sit there and wait until a women asks them to dance. But, it could be also that they were rejected too many times. You just can't win.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 137
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/23/2010 4:02:13 AM
^^^

Also seems like he is into cars since he is standing in front of a metallic silver convertible sports BMW

I happen to own also a photo of me standing in front of a red Ferrari, and another one underneath a silver MIG-15. And one on a deserted beach in a blue speedo. Of course, all props borrowed for the photo-op. Which one would be most effective in my profile?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 138
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/23/2010 6:03:14 AM

how could someone know me, I mean really know me,


The thought that you can ever really know someone is an illusion. Unless you married your identical twin brother, anyone you take up with will be someone who has large and significant chunks of life that are unknown to you. You have done it before, and can do it again as well.

Love and passion are true harmonies that result from 2 people coming together in a sympathetic vibration, each tuned to each other in depth. Recall the scene in "Against all odds" where he points out that they are so connected that their breathing is synchronized. That is what is happening, that is what is going on with your entire being.

People can and do make fast friends in an instant. Its entirely situational, and dependent on your own state of being. If you are open to it, have the courage to accept it, and have the determination to make it happen, then you are only minutes away from being with someone who you will feel that you have known forever and with whom you will be with for eternity.

How? You know how. You have done it before. The mechanism is simple. You open your soul to another and you give yourself into their care with trust and passion. All that is hard about it is the work of being ready, of opening the flood gates, of letting go of what is gone and of embracing what can be......le passé, c'est hier, mais l'avenir, c'est maintenant!
 osocute
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 139
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/25/2010 5:38:24 PM
Dating? What's that? Lol I haven't had one in almost two years!
 Far_Horizon
Joined: 3/11/2010
Msg: 140
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/26/2010 7:24:46 PM

I think as single people, there is a growing resentment that we are victims of some crime. That life is being unfair to us.


You've got to be kidding....resentment? crime? victim? unfair? Hell no! Life is a gift. Sure it's very nice to spend some of it with the right person but it's great regardless.



The great irony of “feeling down” when we are dating is appreciating that dating is hard. The fact that being in a relationship is even harder! Many of our married friends state, not every day is sunny. However, I think many “single” people would agree…we would trade being in a relationship any day, for the thought of being alone…


Dating isn't hard - it's fun. If you find it hard then you must be burdening the process with some expectation of a desired outcome that prevents you from enjoying the moment. Have fun ! Meet someone new. Take it for what it is. See where it goes. If you're not having fun don't do it.

You say a relationship is hard but you'd give up being single to just not be alone. If you're not OK being alone then that's why being in a relationship is hard. You've gotta be good with yourself before you can share yourself with someone else.

And no - I wouldn't trade being single for just anyone to "not be alone". No way ! The right person or no person. I have no problem being alone, in fact solitude is as important to me as sharing time with others. It's all about balance.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 141
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/27/2010 10:50:01 AM
I am an extremely positive person in every way...but I find this to be extremely challenging & often quite humiliating. Yet...after backing off for periods of time...I keep coming back to take my lumps. I must be a real glutton for punishment


...I hear you. It's getting to the point where I'm asking myself, "What's wrong with me?" Or maybe a better question would be ....what am I doing wrong? I rarely get asked out again after a first meet. I'm beginning to get an inferiority complex (lol)

At first, when I re-entered the dating scene... I felt that if I didn't "feel" anything...no sparks, no chemistry, no connection, whatever you want to call it... I found myself reluctant to take it any further. Not that I was often asked out again.
But then I got to thinking that it was unfair, to both parties. I wasn't giving either of us a chance. I should at least go out a few times before I make a decision whether or not I want to take it any further.

But unfortunately, as I said, I wasn't given much of an opportunity to test out that observation/ theory.

And then, I am always amazed at the number of people that are going out on dates on a regular basis.... and that only adds to my feelings of inadequacy. (lol)

But seriously, I find dating in my 50's extremely difficult. It shouldn't be this hard should it... to find someone I like and want to be with. Aarrgh!!!!

...mae
 pmynx
Joined: 3/25/2009
Msg: 142
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 3/27/2010 1:36:41 PM
This is phenomenally well written...I'm not sure that I like the bleak feel to it but nevertheless, it is great food for thought.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 143
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 4/13/2010 6:26:42 PM
It is much tougher now, that's the Forum part has been disconnected.
Now, I have to send out the emails myself.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 144
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/1/2010 3:55:59 PM

Trying to find some kind of match in this hectic complicated world is mind bogling.
Therein lies my problem because I don't want anything to do with the hectic complicated world, nor with having my mind boggled!
My 'match' would be someone who, like me, has left 'hectic' in the past.
One garden/porch sitter can't find another because they're both sitting in their gardens enjoying the peace. lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 145
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/2/2010 9:54:32 AM
"it is who they are when times are bad that shows you who they are. "

If we aren't dating and times are bad, it is us who work through the bad and fix the problems. Why should it be any different if we are dating? Are too many people looking for someone to fix the problems that they will run into in their lives?

No wonder people think dating in our 50's is tough.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 146
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/2/2010 6:46:07 PM
^^^ ^^ maybe try changing what you're saying in your emails! Just saying "hi beautiful" or "would you like to talk" doesn't cut it, usually. Over and over you can read that you should mention something in common from their profile when sending the first email, make it a personal email not generic.

Men think we have lots and lots of choices. Well I've looked at the women available in my area, (middle age), just to see... and found there are a LOT of them. So honey, there's plenty of women on line 'looking'.

If you're not getting any replies..
either you are going into a whole different age range and that can slow down replies..
or you're just not making the emails very interesting...
or your profile focus on finding only a woman who is slim/skinny/athletic might be a hinderance...
or saying you are in god shape (LOL) might be a turn off.. (even though it most likely is a typo)..
.. or who knows...
but maybe you should look at what YOU are saying in the emails, ya know?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 147
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/3/2010 6:40:37 PM
"If you can't take the time to put together a decent profile or send a decent email"

I write people off who do the above because all it leaves me thinking is that they most probably are going to be high maintenance people, who expect the other person to do all the work................no thanks.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 149
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/3/2010 8:31:19 PM
"^^^If I read a man's profile and he has spent some time telling "us" about his life, he goals, what he enjoys for leisure activities, what he is like as a man, what he is looking for in a woman, I don't remotely think he is high maintenance. "

It is the man who puts little but expects results who is high maintenance.

The man who messages nothing but "Hi Cutie or (or whatever) and nothing else who is high maintenance. My special favourite of messages (and yes, I have had many of them) says nothing but "Hi, tell me all about yourself", now that is a high maintenance person. Can't be bothered to write a message themselves, but expect a draw out response..................totally high maintenance.

"Maybe there is a difference in how we read profiles if you're looking for a friend or looking for a partner."

The main reason I have changed from relationship to friend is because it is so rare to find someone who isn't looking for find a person willing to do all the work on a relationship, while they do nothing.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 150
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/4/2010 10:04:29 AM
"Yes, it's difficult to date after 50, even harder after 60! The trust issues alone would prevent a lot of us from even trying. The men who say we shouldn't wait to sleep together because we have so little time left outnumber the ones who remember that we need time to get to know each other. "

I find it especially hard for those of us don't have trust issues running into those who do have trust issues. Not my job to fix someone else's issues. I was able to work through my grief, and not dump it on anyone else.

People with trust issues, and people who just think everyone should check each other out sexually, are yet more reasons I changed from relationship to friends on my profile.

If I meet that rare man who doesn't bring issues to a relationship, that would be great. However, at this point in my life, I wouldn't be dating anyone who doesn't bring to the table the courage to live life, and not expect sex on demand.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 151
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/4/2010 9:16:33 PM
I so agree with you, Moraima nd I am in much the same place. I am over what I have been through and have an attitude that life is about moving forward. I am so not about someone who lacks courage to live in the here and now.
 vbhlaughing
Joined: 1/11/2010
Msg: 154
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/11/2010 8:15:34 PM
I agree with IMO that the long post on dating in your 50's is depressing. If you start out defeated you are done. Put a smile on your face. Wrinkledand all and go for it. Fl. is hard for women (10 men to 1 woman) but the right one is out there if you just don't get down and negative.

I do think the writer sounds very intelligent and writes beautifully, but someone has to give him a real good kiss and melt his defeated soul.
VBHlaughing
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 155
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 5/12/2010 4:47:24 AM
Once she hits 40 she is considered old and undesirable and no man wants her anymore.


Goodness, I could not wait to get old enough to date women in their 40s. Have you ever actually been in your 50s and dated a woman in her 20s? Young women are just like young men. Nice to look at, but for most of them, you have already spouted the same theories on reality, and lived to realize that they were wrong.....

The only other thing I noticed is that young women are more likely to say yes when you offer a date. If older men are taking up after them, that could be the reason. Were basically lazy....
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 156
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 6/9/2010 9:36:32 AM

I think if you make a decision to meet someone the baggage is left well behind or should be. You should go on the basis of trust or not go at all.


Absolutely. In fact this should begin with the our profiles. To many negatives and long lists of thou shalt/thou shalt nots are a real turn off to both men and women.
 p_jonesy
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 157
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 6/10/2010 1:56:38 PM
eastwood 969,

Very well put, my friend. I don't know if I'll ever find anyone & if I do will I be bored to tears?
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