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 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 64
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

I'm still as LOVING as ever, but only on my terms and when I don't need you, go lay down by your dish.

That is one of the saddest and most pathetic things I've read in a very long time. I am very glad that is not my perspective on life.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 65
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:14:08 PM
I was thinking of this thread today...how if the kids in school could see how grown ups are acting about members of the opposite and same sex...what their feelings would be...

Life is simple, if you are unhappy...YOU ARE WHO HAS TO CHANGE...if you keep doing the same thing then ITS YOUR FAULT, people who feel they arent physically attractive enough to get the attention of someone are just USING that as an excuse...YES some vain people will still insist on *LOOKS at this age but over and over most of the men/women on the forums (exception to the nuts cases) are saying what they are looking for is someone who GETS THEM, not someone they want to pay for, not someone they want to help grow up...sport sex is meaningless...romance and intimacy are in...but then they encounter someone with a mean ugly attitude about what happened in their past relationships ....

The one thing I dont get, my first husband was a drunk, my second was a sex addicted bipolar pedophile ...they were my choice (granted neither were that when we met) but it was still MY choice...Im happy for the wonderful years we had together. Why I would want to try and blame ALL men for the lack in two men I just dont get...or why men who have an ex cheat on them, or was a **** or whatever and now think all women are evil etc...

We each are individuals, none of us are perfect...

Isnt it time to forgive yourself for whatever choice you made in the past and work on having a better future..or keep bashing the men/women cause they dont chose you or keep bashing the woman/men cause they pick someone younger, thinner, richer, smarter ...etc..they arent...THEY ARE CHOOSING A PERSONALITY over yours...
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 66
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 12:25:01 PM
Moraima said, "I would date more, if I ran into less whiners."

I say, "I would date more, if I ran into less snide, control freaks."
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 68
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 1:48:41 PM
"Moraima said, "I would date more, if I ran into less whiners."


I was refering to all those who believe or say they believe that the world has done them wrong.

I was thinking about some of the comments about how tough it is too date. Then I though, hello............we made it to 50+. Too many fine people don't live to be 50. I am sure they would have prefered to deal with tough dates, than not be on this planet.
 katie121
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 69
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 4:26:16 PM
I agree with you for the most part. The part I find difficult is still looking for my soul mate, and yet there is so much happening in my own life, that its hard for others to understand. I have a father who has a death sentence hanging over him, and having an operation in the next few weeks and yes it will be life or death - he is 84 and has been ill for the past three years and things are getting worse. Whilst I do keep my sunny side out, and try to keep upbeat, what guy wants a female who must be there at times to be with my father when he needs to be brought to hospitals in my town or to Dublin. Needs to be there at weekends to get his house in order, and ensure he has all his needs met. I have the same love you have for your children as I do my father and therefore, in crises and trouble, you know exactly where you would be, as I also know where you would be. People pass such situations off as too much trouble to be bothered getting involved. The same applies to my children - they need me - im there, though both are grown up and have left the nest. Life and strife is part of the human disposition. What I take heart in, I can take it, because if someone is not prepared to stand by me, when needed most - they are not worth it. As to being victims of some crime - I think its a crime that you feel a victim. We have to make our own happiness within ourselves before we can make another person happy. Yet you are right married people will say that not every day is sunny, that also applies to single people. We all have our sunny days, our down days, our optimistic days,- we are just as human as those married, and not all marriages are right either. We are all complex human beings and if there were a book to give us the right cue to reach our mate - they would one hell of a billionaire.
Take heart, you are not the only one that feels the way you do. We all have many days when everything you have said is so true - you are not alone. k
 MondoVman
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 70
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 4:41:14 PM
Don't know whether Moraima was chopped beef or prime rib in her younger years, but she's definitely one of the toughest, if not the toughest, dates today. Actually agree with her opinion regarding rough and tough, i.e. reality - regardless, would like to hear more about the upsides, too, Ladies.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 71
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 12/30/2009 5:03:10 PM
I'll take that as a compliment

Actually, the date with me isn't difficult. It is getting the date that is the tough part
 mme_butterfly
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 72
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:23:01 PM
I like dating- even if there are no sparks.
Meeting new people is fun.
Next year it will be dating over 60 but I don't feel the old guy with the scythe breathing down my neck.
Just relax and go with the flow.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 73
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Dating with Disabilities
Posted: 1/1/2010 5:30:39 PM

I am wondering how people will react to this. I am a 2 1/2 time cancer survivor that has left me without the ability to swallow. I can talk, walk, swim, travel etc but I cannot eat or drink. I have a tube that I pour a formula into to keep me alive. So I have been a bit shy about trying to date, am I wrong?

I'd say go for it. Just don't make dinner dates - there are plenty of other things to do.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 74
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Dating with Disabilities
Posted: 1/1/2010 5:45:09 PM

I am wondering how people will react to this. I am a 2 1/2 time cancer survivor that has left me without the ability to swallow. I can talk, walk, swim, travel etc but I cannot eat or drink. I have a tube that I pour a formula into to keep me alive. So I have been a bit shy about trying to date, am I wrong?

It may very well be tough. Even though it is now 2010, there are still lots people out there who are of the opinion that cancer can be "catchy" and therefore don't want to be associated with cancer survivors. I speak from experience - it has happened to me.

I really do not think it wise to hijack this thread to deal with dating with disabilities issues. Perhaps you could start a thread about dating with disabilities.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 76
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/2/2010 3:05:34 PM
If I come out and say "I'm looking to date", then I'd say it's pretty tough at my age. I'd love to find a good fella where we can hang out, do things together, etc. My biggest problem, where I live, is so many guys between 45 and 55 have kids under the age of 18. I'd rather not get involved in those situations. Am I looking for Mr. Perfect? Nope, but I am looking for the fella that we're on the same page in life.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 80
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/3/2010 9:07:51 PM
screaming - msg 153

I happened to email her at Xmas as I was cleaning out my mailbox and she was still looking for work............

I tend to agree with Mr. Happy's conclusion (msg 158), but since the OP is about dating, could you clarify for us whether she is still looking for a date?
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 81
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/5/2010 4:08:57 PM
Attraction...attraction ...attraction...it is what people look for(could be any attraction...like physical or even money).
She is ugly...he is ugly...but their love is beautiful.Sounds better than any attraction.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 82
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/5/2010 8:23:02 PM
^^^^ ok my three years are up ...I moved on..but a better question is ...on to what?

I get that some might be only "looks" based...I know when I first joined online dating my expectations were to high...but dang how much lower can I go?

Why is it so hard just to find someone to have fun with....I had fun in my profile and was told it was a code word for sex...then I had cuddle and was told that was a code word for sex...but while sex is part of what I want with someone...fun and cuddling are equally as important to me!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 83
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:05:57 PM
^^^^^ I always thought it worked better when it's hard?




But yea and it is so easy to have something misunderstood and then you are back at ground zero but this time with battle scars....
 Adamantine01
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 84
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 1:57:02 AM
[I had fun in my profile and was told it was a code word for sex].
aha.
That's where I went wrong. Must be specific in what I mean as "fun".
Or find another word that most males won't assume means sex.
Now there's a New Year's challenge for ya.

Is there any way to re-educate the males of the species to rethink fun? (surely even bozos don't think that the only fun in life is sex?)
Off to revamp the old profile post haste. (*blushes*)
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 85
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 8:42:58 AM
I heard some statistics (think it was on one of those tv morning shows?) about single women over 45. Apparantly, they are more likely to get struck by lightning than ever get married again. And, of course.... it only gets worse in their fifties...and sixties. Now, I'm not saying that I necessarily just buy into this. But, its interesting.

I think its tougher... in many ways, to date in your fifties (and 60's) than it was in the days before 45. If for no other reason than we are not so damn dumb anymore... and our dern brain gets in the way. It was a lot easier to jump into the romance river when ya just conviently by-passed the brain.

Then, theres all those bruised and battered ego's and bank accounts that many of us lug around that get in the way too. I know, I'm not much interested anymore in anyone who is still into the 'blame game'.

Then, theres all those who havn't yet "actively" addressed all their raging co-dependent behaviors. Not interested.

Pretty soon, theres only a few candidates left! har. And What the..... she lives 3000 miles away.

Truth is: I have this growing Idea that none of us were 'built' to be single at this age.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 86
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 9:53:21 AM

I guess I'll just out the knitting needle and pull up the rocking chair!


Not to despair. I spent years looking for a woman who could knit nice thick warm socks after my Mother died. They just don't exist any more. I had to learn to do it myself!

A woman who can knit warm socks would be snapped up in an instant almost anywhere in Canada for the half of the year that we are in hibernation. Learn to knit and then take a ski vacation up this way. Bet you are off the market before you get into the security lineup to fly home!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 88
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 4:38:56 PM

Hey, Commit! Teach me! Teach me!........................................................
'cept boy, I don't like cold weather. it's 22 here now and I'm about to freeze to death.
It rarely gets this cold!

It's a piece of cake. I could teach you, but it's even colder here, and supposed to keep going down. I really hate it when it's colder where I am now than it is in every place I've lived in Alaska.
 Adamantine01
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 89
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 5:28:38 PM
{Not to despair. I spent years looking for a woman who could knit nice thick warm socks after my Mother died. They just don't exist any more. I had to learn to do it myself!}

Maybe you could teach me to knit socks? (she said coyly) :)
and seriously. How the heck did you teach yourself?
I have an antique sock knitting machine.
Just thought I'd throw that in. Still don't quite know how to use it.
It dates back to WW2 and as far as I know, still works.
That's how keen I was to learn how to knit socks.
And I've just gone way off topic. sorry....

It's tough dating in your fifties.
I have no doubt whatsoever I'll get married again. I'm programming happily and successfully and of mutual enjoyment and benefit.
Just have no doubt. And make sure you envisage a mate with all the right attributes.
Work on eliminating doubt and never give up.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 90
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/7/2010 6:02:53 PM

I spent years looking for a woman who could knit nice thick warm socks after my Mother died. They just don't exist any more. I had to learn to do it myself!

Hmm.... my great grandfather knitted socks for the family all winter, including 7-10 children (I never knew just how many survived infancy), since his wife was busy cooking and cleaning on their farm. As far as I know, they were happily married until the day the first one died. If Rosie Grier can do needlepoint, you can knit.

But if you ever find a woman who can, just think how much you'll be able to oappreciate her skill! You could even add that to your profile, "Knitting socks is very important, but not essential."
 MAGIC_MARCO
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 91
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/9/2010 7:37:33 PM

Come to Australia, girls. It's about to hit 100 for four consecutive days. If we survive any bushfires, you're all more than welcome to stay at my place (assuming I still have a place)..


I'm feeling left out, but anyway, I'll be down there when it hits 100 in early June.
Meanwhile , I'll stick with the 70 degree weekend right here
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 93
Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/11/2010 2:04:58 PM
It's difficult, but like many of the women here, I have a life independent of a "man", and by God, I'm going to live it to the fullest!
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 94
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Dating in Your 50's - Is It Tough?
Posted: 1/11/2010 3:23:46 PM
From Magic Marco:

All I did was replace all my pics with one of George Clooney in a t-shirt. I then forgot about it and clicked onto other things. About 90 minutes later , I went to my email. There must have been 15 messages from POF- ers .

Now that's sad, and telling. Marco appears to be a handsome guy with talent, a free spirit and a great place to live. And he's
doubtless orders of magnitude easier to meet than George. Tell me, Marco, did you feel that any of the GC pic respondents were
realistic about their chances with a movie star? I'm no GC, but at least a few women seem to like some things about me that were
simply my parent's doing. How difficult it must be for men with even fewer blessings to get by with women, let alone those in this
age bracket.

Personally, I find it much easier to date younger women, who generally have fewer "boundaries" (how I hate that term) than women my own age. But akin to eating a healthy food that wouldn't be my first pick (beets are one - don't they just taste like dirt?), I try to date in my own age bracket for the greater good. Although I've yet to be turned down for a date in 35 years (I date a bit less than I used to, to be fair), mature women give me the roughest time of all.

They look at my lack of marital experience as more onus than bonus. If I'm nice, they suspect me of being disingenuous. If I'm less nice, they think I'll abuse them. If I mention a past relationship, they get suddenly distant. If I put time, effort, money and creativity into planning a date, they intimate that they could do better if it were up to them, and then they forget to thank me. Even if the date is undeniably pleasant for both of us, and I give them a direct, friendly invitation to call me, the selectively "old fashioned" mature women never do, which cools my jets quickly. These may seem like sweeping generalizations, but they're simply the average of my "longer of tooth" dates. I recognize now that many of these women's attitudes and behavior towards men have no "reset" button if they've been burned by a man previously, so my prospects for success with them are usually slim at best. So yeah, it's tough.
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