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Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 20
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Dating and the ArmyPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Hi, A few months ago, I sent you an email regarding a situation like this, and you were so nice to reply back to me, so now I want to reply to you.

I am currently waiting for my guy and I won't see him again until Nov 2010, he left for Iraq in Nov 2009. We met in Aug 09 and right away he told me he was getting ready to deploy and couldn't get involved, as he also had trainings in Oklahoma, Ca and New Mexico before he deployed.

We basically only had the month of Sept together and even though we both tried NOT to get attached to each other, we ended up falling in love. Now, he's 47 and this is his 4th deployment to Iraq and he's been everywhere else besides. He's seen a lot of these long separation relationships fall completely apart, but I feel so blessed that he opened his heart to me.

He never asked me to "wait", he just told me he hoped I'd be here when he returns, as he sees us as being a long term relationship. I WANT to wait for him. I'm 42 and have seen enough bad guys to know when I have a good one. He's worth the wait.

In case you're wondering why I joined this site, if I am waiting for him...I wanted to meet other people, both male and female so that I could bounce my own opinions and doubts off of them. In the beginning, when he first deployed, he never called me, wrote me or emailed me. I realize now that he couldn't but at the time, I thought he was pulling away from me. Now that he's settled into his job, he's calling me several times a week and we email daily. In fact, as soon as I joined this site, I found you on a forum and since I knew you were military, I emailed you about my concerns over him not communicating with me and you emailed me back. Thanks again for your support.

All you can do, is be open to her and let this play out. She'll decide if she wants to wait for you. Do warn her about the lack of communication on your part if you're sent overseas. We women have romantic notions of a lonely soldier writing us love letters and if the calls and letters don't come, its easy to get discouraged. It took 2 months for my guy to get settled to where he could contact me and during those 2 months, I felt blown off. Now things are good though. Good Luck to you!
Joined: 1/3/2009
Msg: 25
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Dating and the Army
Posted: 3/27/2010 1:16:03 AM
OP, I know this is several months after your original post and the situation has most likely resolved itself already, but I'll still throw my two cents into the pool.

I truly believe that you should give the situation the chance to develop. It will, of course, be a choice that both of you will have to make. Make your feelings known to her and let her decide whether that is something she wants to do.

Military or not, we all have to decide if someone else is worth taking a chance on. You'll never know what might have been if you're not ready to put your cards on the table.
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