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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged      Home login  
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 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 26
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engagedPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I have been engaged, but not married. I wouldn't say it's either good or bad in and of itself; depends how you feel about it and what your reasons have been. I'm 42.

A close family friend got married at, I think, 45 or 46 for the first time, and another at about 39 or 40. The second had two beautiful, healthy children in her early 40s, as well. I don't think any of this is as rare as De Beers would like us to believe!
 gagirl26
Joined: 12/11/2009
Msg: 27
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:04:11 PM
I am 31 and never been married/kids either. Had guys talk to me about marriage but never even got the ring! I understand the position you are in, believe me! I worried over it alot until one day I finally decided that I was happy with where I was at in life. I didnt marry just to do it or rush into anything(like some of my friends are now admitting they did!) Sometimes I still feel a pang when I see my friends pictures with their families. Its not that I dont wish I had that life, I do! But I have found happiness with where I am at in life. Men find that attractive about me and they love the fact that I have no baggage! One day we will find our prince charming, until then enjoy life and the dating scene!
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 28
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/2/2010 6:21:40 PM
I've read many of these posts, I just want to say ladies, there is nothing wrong in not ever being married. Its rare, and in some cases charming. Some of you have been able to do some traveling, work on you education, or just experienced life. This in my opinion makes many of you interesting because you'll have something to talk about other then current pop culture.

So keep you head up, we're all looking for that special thing life long happiness.

Gadget.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 29
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:00:29 PM
Mel: I was just thinking about that, too. .that most people date around for awhile before they actually find the person they want to be with. Sometimes, I do wish that I had started earlier. Oh well, can't go back and change it. And yes, I do agree that it wouldn't hurt to have a separate section for never married, no children, and over 30. Though I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone with kids. .just that I might not be able to relate to them on some things.
 chinua1
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 30
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:08:20 PM
I'm 42- never married (engaged once) & no kids- yet. I'm still looking
 anglesey9
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 31
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/3/2010 9:32:29 PM
I don't think it's good or bad, it's just how it is. I'm still optimistic about meeting and marrying the right man.
 jennivieve
Joined: 2/14/2005
Msg: 32
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/4/2010 3:55:32 AM
Count me into this group....36 never married/no kids/no engagement.
I have travelled and lived and partied and enjoyed life....no regrets.
I also don't want to settle for someone but I do want a special someone.
Recently I came to the conclusion that all those seperated and divorced people my age are actually in pretty much the same place I am...I just got there on another road. And now we are all single and looking for the right match but I only have to find the right match for me, not a family.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 33
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/4/2010 11:03:16 AM
Mel: I was just thinking about that, too. .that most people date around for awhile before they actually find the person they want to be with. Sometimes, I do wish that I had started earlier. Oh well, can't go back and change it. And yes, I do agree that it wouldn't hurt to have a separate section for never married, no children, and over 30. Though I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone with kids. .just that I might not be able to relate to them on some things.

Yeah jeepwmn, once you get in your thirties the chances that a potential partner might have kids dramatically increase. I dated a separated guy with two kids when I was 29, and found that if it goes wrong the hurt is all the worse and you haven't just lost them, but if you have a good relationship with the kids, you've lost them too. I spent a lot of time with his kids, and now I no longer get upset about him it's the kids I remember and miss. I obviously couldn't rule out dating a guy with kids in the future, as that is cutting out a lot of possibilities, but I know I would be more careful in that instance and ensure the guy was really into me before I met his kids.
 She_Biscuit
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 34
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/4/2010 8:47:03 PM

but would like to know there are more of us out there and it's not just me!!


I'm 42, never married (although working for myself feels like a marriage), no children (if one does not count the four legged ones). Even at my age, I'm in no hurry to do so. I'm enjoying my life and certainly don't mind sailing my ship, by my own hands, so to speak. Nothing wrong with a LTR, but I honestly don't think a traditional marriage would suit me. I love my autonomy. So it's all good for me. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.
 Warped_Humour
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 35
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/5/2010 2:55:40 AM
meh, I am 32 and never married or engaged or have any children. I thank myself for it too. I had a lot of stuff to wade through inside to get where I am at today. I have had two serious relationships of which I mostly self sabotaged because of my own past issues. I am not saying I was all to blame but I was no help either.

I truly feel like I just grew up truly over the last four years. I now want to move(MN winters are just too wearing on my emo mind from Nov-Mar). I no longer rely on meds to keep me going but my own mind. So far, it is the best I have ever felt in my whole adult life.

I also actually want to college finally. I guess, I don't see me getting involved anytime soon. If it happens, super kick a$$ bonus, but if not, I am okay with that.

I am lucky enough to still have enough men/women friends who are single as well. We travel together and have the best times of our lives since there is nothing really holding us back. The older I get though, I find compromise a little harder to deal with. I am about 99% sure I don't want children. But only leave that one percent open because never say never I guess. :)

Hopefully, it will be a non issue for me as I assume most men by now I may date have kids from their pasts. So their whole child want/need will hopefully already be taken care of.
I have never even lived with a SO so that shall be quite the experience if it ever arises as well.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 36
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/7/2010 4:50:32 AM
The expression on peoples faces when I say yes im single, no im not married and no I don't have any kids, yes Iv got a job I love, I often want to say to them no there isnt anything wrong with me, no im not that way inclined (although even if i were i dont see the problem) and no I dont want to meet your 3rd cousin bob who is 20 yrs older than myself.

Exactly. I have had quite a few tumbleweed moments over the last year where when you say you are single it all goes quiet as if people don't know what to say. How about asking about one's job, friends, college, hobbies, etc.

I have a work collegaue who asks me almost everytime I see her if I have a guy yet, week after week
 Wannaberosalie
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 37
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/7/2010 3:56:04 PM
Hey,
35 here, never been married, or engaged, have a daughter who is adopted through foster care. I feel like it is what it is, I am not willing to settle for Mr. Wrong. So good for you.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 38
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 4:47:22 AM
Aristotle (330 BC) wrote that women should get married much earlier than 30.
He also wrote that "woman of a well-ordered life should consider that her husband's wishes are as laws appointed for her".....ancient wisdom always best, just follow that, ladies

Aristotle...the first male chauvanist pig
 itsallinthesoul
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 39
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:29:30 AM
BMF...society doesn't exactly look much differently towards men over 30 who haven't been married either so pot meet kettle.....

Your insecurities are showing...you might want to cover those up there my friend.
 BeautyInU
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 40
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 8:37:19 AM

Aristotle (330 BC) wrote that women should get married much earlier than 30.
He also wrote that "woman of a well-ordered life should consider that her husband's wishes are as laws appointed for her".....ancient wisdom always best, just follow that, ladies



Aristotle...the first male chauvanist pig.


The following is what Freud said about Aristotle:
"He was not a PIG, he's a VERY INSECURE man. He looked very smart and strong outside , but very weak inside.

 savepolarbears
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 41
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:12:43 AM
here here
it's not either bad nor good. It's more like my destiny lol
and yeah I'm the only one who didn't get married with no kids in 30ties in my family, relatives and among friends lol and they are all jealous of my freedom lol
and hell no I've never felt ashamed of my single status although I wanna have kids so bad lol
To be honest I am over 30 but don't understand why so many people make a big deal with their age. Look at all these pity threads. It's pretty discouraging here.

If people stop focusing on something adverse they believe (while nobody cares lol) and feel grateful for who they are, they would be much happier IMO.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 42
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:43:04 AM
BMF...society doesn't exactly look much differently towards men over 30 who haven't been married either so pot meet kettle.....

Your insecurities are showing...you might want to cover those up there my friend.

Well said there. Thank you.
 savepolarbears
Joined: 12/27/2009
Msg: 43
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 12:02:46 PM
Actually Aristotle was just a poor guy who had a very feisty and abusive wife lol
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 44
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/8/2010 12:18:14 PM
That explains the quote
 LivingVida
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 45
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:12:21 AM
Me!

why is it necessary mean something is wrong with me? I just have never met the right person that's all.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 46
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:16:58 AM
Me!

why is it necessary mean something is wrong with me? I just have never met the right person that's all.

It doesn't mean that at all. It's just other peoples perceptions...something I am caring less and less about as I get older fortunately!
 fiestywmn2
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 47
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/10/2010 5:58:08 PM
Me and I have zero problems with it!
 Martin D Martian
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 48
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/10/2010 6:30:13 PM
Don't sweat it. Im the exact position as you are and my reflexes,height,weight,bowel movements glandular secretions are not effected by this what so ever.
 Mepps1973
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 49
Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:55:34 PM
I don't think it's pathetic at all. I am 36, never been married, never been engaged, and it's because the right person hasn't come along yet.
 Mel1509
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 50
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Any other ladies over 30 never been married or engaged
Posted: 1/11/2010 4:56:10 AM
I must say I am heartened by the amount of smart, attractive people in the same situ as myself. Even tho I have a couple of single girlfriends sometimes you do feel it, myself mostly at work.
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