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 AUTHOR
 Royal Bloodline
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 80
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
yeah on a first date, most guys just look for some connection. I personally like to meet at a coffee shop first instead of dinner that way at the first meeting at least we know we can stand each other's company for the next few hours. I am also one of the few guys that does not like to kiss at the end of a first date ( 2nd, 3rd date) no prob, but that is just my style.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 81
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 1/12/2010 12:34:51 PM
It is this simple. Of all the guys you went out, which ones did you have the hots for? All of them? Fifty percent of them? Ten percent of them? How many of them would you sleep with if the opportunity would arise?

Okay, as blunt of an analogy as that may be, it needs to be that way, because deep inside we all have attraction, and then we have that image that we could see ourselves sleeping with that person.

Now turn that around and be on their shoes. How many of them felt that for you? All of them? Fifty percent? None of them?

Now the problem is that the ones that you are attracted to are not the ones that they are attracted to you. There's a disconnect, and that is REALITY. When their 10 percent matches your 10 percent you got yourself a match. And then there there's the uphill battle of comparability, baggage, drama, and so on.

So don't beat yourself up. There's no failure in not connecting. Just go out more.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 84
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/4/2010 7:49:18 AM
I know what I am looking for,,,,on a first date,,,,or meeting anyone at anytime.

Conviction. Intelligence.Confidence. The ability to be the person you are,,,,without worrying about others and their opinions. The ability to laugh at anything and everything,,,,it's right there in front of us to laugh at. The ability to lead,,,,not follow.

I've got a few others,,,but really, it comes down to just being the person you are. Quit trying to make a "show" outta of it all. Quit trying to "impress"(if ya got it,,,,it WILL come thru). Don't tell me,,,,show me. Quit coming across as "needy",,,,most of the time you are not,,,,you've gone thru things in your life,,,,,,,already,,,,,,,AND survived!!!! We all have,,,,,at my age anyways. Look in the mirror and realize what you are, what you have, what you have done,,what you would like to do,,,,,before walking out that door and offering yourself,,,,,,to someone.

Again,,,,be the person you are. After that,,,you just hope and pray that someone sees what you already know.
 Bfriends4now
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 85
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/4/2010 10:14:36 AM
this is pretty darn funny. This thread is almost eleven months old, the poster has not added another message, and it seems no one has addressed the question she posed to start with. Confusing, as it is difficult to figure out what she was looking for in the first message, by intent and word usage . The woman is very attractive, her profile is fine, the mention of staying up late to have sex caught my eye! Would love to take her, or her older sister, to the Kentucky Derby.

 INSTYLE9611
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 87
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/6/2010 6:57:18 AM
WHAT THE HECK ARE MEN LOOKING FOR ON A FIRST DATE?
I think the answer is sex if they can get it.
other wise they have to play the game and wait.
same old stuff
1.movies
2.dinner
3.dancing
A lot of girls from the internet cannot be trusted are just playing and ****ing with our heads. my advise for men are head out to
1.sports bars
2.malls
3.parks
4.grocery stores
I see a lot of smoken hot babes in walmart.
Also dont trust these paying online dating sites they are for suckers.nothing but scammers from other countries trying to steel your cash.If you do start talking to a hot
girl that you like.
ASK HER TO TURN ON HER WEBCAM IF SHE REFUSES OR GIVES YOU A BULL
STORY LIKE I DONT HAVE ONE DUMP HER ASS RIGHT NOW.
READS SCAM ALL OVER THE PLACE
HOPES THIS HELPS THE MEN IN THIS COUNTRY
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 88
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/6/2010 7:24:56 AM

Several of them made it very clear that they liked. Me quite a bit but the spark was not there. Are they looking for too much the first time out, or is there something lacking in me?

Hard to say from what you've written here, but your profile makes you seem like the ice princess. What happens on your first dates? My rule of thumb for gauging interst was that if a woman didn't kiss me like she meant it on the first date, I assumed there was no spark and so, no second date.
 indigo1357
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 89
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/6/2010 6:36:28 PM
I expect a clean pickup with little delays, drive and talk/walk and talk/something and talk. Drop you off, see how many minutes it takes before my messenger is going off/theres already messages before I get home.

how to get past the first date with me?

1. on time
2. open up a bit but dont cling like a spider monkey
3. wait. I will get back to you in a timely fashion. No need to message me 30 minutes after the date is over.
 Matt_L_91
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 92
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/8/2010 10:04:22 AM
First things first, I need to feel a physical attraction. They don't need to be a super model, but if there's no spark, I might as well be fishing for a new friend. From there I want to know more about hobbies and see if we've got anything in common. If not, I explore whether if their hobbies sound fun to try or if they would like to try one of mine sometime.

I like girls who are friendly and sweet, but not overly bubbly or cutesy. Someone who likes to smile and actually tries to uphold their share of the conversation. I like conversations to be half me talking, half her because if it tilts to just one person talking it's not as fun. I also try to sense some independence based our conversation. I like a girl who's forward and friendly, but clingy or lacking ambition/a life of her own is a no-go.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 93
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/9/2010 12:30:33 AM
Sex whether they like you or not, just so you look hot to them.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 96
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/9/2010 10:44:05 PM
no-one can force 'the spark' (well, without a couple of pieces of flint and a nice knife maybe)
- it's quite possible that they were being sincere; they enjoyed meeting you and were honestly open to a potential ongoing dating experience, but just didn't find the necessary romantic attraction

Not having that romantic/physical attraction doesn't mean that they're too picky - just that the chemistry wasn't right

surely better to know that on first meet rather than having it drag on and potentially raise false hope, no?
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 97
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/11/2010 1:54:41 PM
I had trouble making sense of some of your writings not to mention the spelling errors. But it sounds like you are perhaps very set in a routine. Maybe some of the men you are dating are also very routine. It seems like many people these days, just don't know or respect descent social edecit (probably spelled it wrong). Many people it seems go out and just question and quiz incesently, like some employers do in job interviews. Too me, that's a major turn off. Dating should not be made to seem like a work assignment. People just need to try and relax and stop expecting so much to work out. Sometimes the more you try and expect, the harder you make things.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 99
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/11/2010 3:49:01 PM

It truly is frustrating.


Think it's frustrating for you as a woman????? Try being a guy in this day and age who has break down brickwalls JUST to initiate conversation with the opposite gender. Because of past experinces,,,there are a lot out there that see red flags before a word is spoken.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 100
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/11/2010 6:19:08 PM
I think it simply means the attraction's not there. If it's not there mutually then there's no desire to set up a second meeting. I think men are looking for someone they are attracted to who's attracted to them in return, that they can talk to and is somewhat normal, just like the rest of us.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 101
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/12/2010 12:04:43 PM
Doesn't matter to me what a guy is looking for on a first date.
If he asks me out (or I ask him out) and I accept (or he does),
we both initially saw something we liked.

It's not like I'm going to change myself when I meet him.
He's either going to like me or he isn't.

If I've learned one thing since being single it's that.
And oh...I don't beat myself up about it anymore. I don't figure
there's something wrong with me or something I need to change
to meet someone else.

I think there may be someone for everyone, but I also think it's
possible they might never find each other. In the meantime, I
just go about enjoying my life and the people I meet. It's a win
win situation!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 103
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/12/2010 1:40:02 PM

I think women should just plan on having sex on the first date unless she finds the guy unattractive. This thing about getting to know someone is a mentally confusing game that just gets nowhere. The only thing you'll ever know about me is whether or not you get off in bed. Sorry if I sound like a man but guess what, I am a man. If I have good time I want another date, and another, eventually I start thinking I feel like I know her and think she is starting to know me. Otherwise I will just hide my personality and you can try to read the blank lines but you will always be clueless.


huh?

 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 105
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/12/2010 5:23:11 PM
Whoooo!!! That was a great one eastwood. The part where you stated: it's mentally confusing and get nowhere holds some truth. It's pretty much the same as what I initially touched base on in my reply. Theres nothing wrong with wanting what you want. But dude hate to break it to you...that logic would be most beneficial in a third world country, not so much in North America or any other well off country. Trust me, I speak from experience (lol). Yeah, you need to visit Thailand, Cuba the Dominican, places like that. You would have a hey-day
 larry303
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 108
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/13/2010 8:31:28 AM
You should have no problems. Your profile is specific about what you're expecting. Guys just aren't reading completely.

I don't expect much on a first date. Just a meet & greet kind of thing. If things are mutual lets make a longer night of it. You did mention victorias, cuddling, and classic movies.

cheers, Larry
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 109
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/13/2010 8:52:54 AM
I think it depends on the guy's goal.

If he's mainly interested in sex, he won't care about a relationship and will focus on getting laid as quickly as possible IF he finds you at all attractive.

If he's mainly interested in a relationship, AND upon meetng you thinks you have relationship potential and are attractive, he'll probably be willing to forego sex awhile to develop the relationship. That does not mean he won't be interested in sex with you, but it may become secondary if he feels the timing isn't right. However, if he doesn't think you're relationship material, some guys will chage their immediate goal to getting laid IF he still finds you attractive enough.

Assuming he is looking for a relationship, then I think he's going to look for compatibility in the areas that are important to him, so that means personality, attitude, values, interests, etc., and how you appear to respond to him (are you showing interest in return?).
 Erota
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 110
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/13/2010 3:05:08 PM
A quiet place in view of the setting sun. When the weather is cool, warm, and breezy forty five minuets before the sun sets! Not getting caught up in trying to get to know everything about each other, as I enjoy taking my time these day's. With the most simplistic approach, we laugh, converse, and behoove how wonderfully beautiful the moment lives. For that moment in time, freeing from the hassle of life's many demands, we both have not a care in the world!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 112
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/13/2010 4:38:16 PM

The rest is irrelevant! If you present a set of 34 tripple Ds on a 115 pound frame, all men will be compatible!!

That's what they all say, until they find out she's married, or does drugs, then they get picky! lol
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 113
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/20/2010 8:42:55 AM

except for the ones that like firm perky tits with amazing nipples and soft alabaster hue :)


gassspp..quick call 9-1-1..I am having a heart attack..whewww..

So true, not all men like big breasts..(wiping sweat from brow)..
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 114
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/20/2010 6:51:40 PM

The rest is irrelevant! If you present a set of 34 tripple Ds on a 115 pound frame, all men will be compatible!!

How the hell did she keep from tipping over frontward? Hip pockets full of lead sinkers for counterweight?
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are ladies whose cups runneth over ,yet they are nice, levelheaded women.
But if you consistently keep picking women based strictly on what's in her bra and panties, without giving heed to what is (or isn't) between her ears, no wonder you come to dating sites carrying so much anger.
Otherwise, I'm sort of given to think that with many(not all) men who frequent dating sites,a lot of their activity is nothing but window shopping and hoping to get lucky.
Cindy O
 soflnighteagle
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 117
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 9/10/2010 1:41:35 PM
I think we are all looking for the same basic things:
First does the person match their profile and photo? If you lied on your profile, it's game over.
Next is there any kind of connection at all? There has to be a reasonable belief that there is potential for relationship.
The last thing I look for is if she seems interested at all. This is the hardest one to figure out. The last two women I met seemed to have little interest, in fact the woman I met last night wouldn't give me her phone number or e-mail address at the end of the night. She said the dating site e-mail was good enough, so I figured that as a big no interest. Today she sends me an e-mail asking if we can go out again. Makes me wonder if she is hiding something.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 118
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 9/10/2010 2:31:35 PM

what the heck are (most)guys looking for on a first date?
I added the world "most".

They want to check you out to see if there's a possibility of some lovin'/sex at some near point in the future.
Having a nice time... etc.... it all good and well and fun and whatever.
But mainly they want to see if there's that possiblility.
Plain and simple.

They're looking to see if they can see having sex with you.
There's no puzzle there.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 120
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 9/10/2010 5:04:15 PM

I really have to question the logic of man going on dates or using online dating in order to get sex.
It's not "to get sex", per say.
But... of course sex is expected at some point if it's going to be a relationship!
I mean duh, of course!
Soooooo on that first date a man IS going to be looking to see if she is someone he would want to have sex with eventually...
and he's going to be looking to see if there is even going to be that posibility.
If the answer is "no" to either of those.. that will be that.
The question is "what the heck are guys looking for on a first date",
and I still think the answer is they're looking to see if she is doing to be a viable sexual partner at sometime in the near future.
It's not that they're "using online dating in order to get sex".
(BUT.. there actually ARE many who do do that)
It's just that they want to check it out to see if it's got possibilities.
Even before they check it out to see if the personalities will match!!!!
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