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 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 154
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Guys don't make the rules on what you will do -- the women have the veto power -- the guy just proposes the first draft of the bill and lobbies to have it passed.

Yeah, but having the power to send the bill to lots of different people who have limited their options to pass or veto is lot better than waiting to be handed a bill for which pass and veto are your only options. It requires less lobbying when one has a choice of possibilities for submission and passage.

The person who makes the choices of who to ask and makes the decisions about what to do does have more power than the person who waits for good fortune to fall from the sky.
 FunILGUY
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 155
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 5/28/2011 11:40:50 AM
depends on the guy , might be a Blowjob
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 157
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 5/29/2011 10:49:16 AM

My friends tell me I am a great guy I just make some really bad choices.


Do you feel your a bad judge of character? Sometimes women, and men put up a phoney front. This is why we make bad choices. We are all guilty of it. I don't like to rush it either. Don't push it, don't force it, let it happen naturally.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 158
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 5/29/2011 11:41:30 PM
Maybe you did not ACT like you were into them so they cut their losses. I have done the same thing, gone out with a girl that did not seem into me only to get a call later asking why i stopped calling. but life is too short to chase after a stand offish woman.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 161
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:53:27 PM
Just one note. A person's picture, and them in person might look beautiful..... But they can still be a criminal. Looks are deceiving. Ask the actress Anne Hathaway. Just like Forest Gump said....... "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get."
 vagirl11
Joined: 3/14/2011
Msg: 162
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:18:40 AM
Oh but you don't turn her down if she initiates sex right? If you want to make her work for it, then don't agree to have sex!
 ComplekCity
Joined: 1/17/2011
Msg: 163
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:37:20 AM
In a nutshell :

Someone I find physically attractive, interesting, and am comfortable with.

 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 166
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/10/2011 8:35:07 PM
An Honest, truthful, no games playing woman. Not someone who is trying to increase their capital gains. Because neither am I. It's funny how body language tells everything. It's not how you say it, but what your doing it with.
 shortnsweet1956
Joined: 1/11/2011
Msg: 167
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/11/2011 7:00:23 PM
Yep, sounds like a typical man who only sees what is on the outside instead of what is on the inside.
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 168
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/11/2011 10:23:48 PM
Yep, sounds like a typical man who only sees what is on the outside instead of what is on the inside.




Actually body language tells you what's on the inside. In 3 to 5 minutes I can tell exactly what a typical person (predator) is like, and what they are looking for. Honesty, and truthfulness come out in body language. If your not smart enough to see it, then you get taken.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 171
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/13/2011 7:58:18 AM



In these cases i rarely get second dates cause I won't put out on the first, and I doubt if I'd get any more than the occasional booty call if I did put out so lose/lose really.


Might be nice if you give them a number.. Some guys need goals. You could say something along the lines of "You're nice but I never do anything before the _th date. So You still have _ more movies to go or __ dinners left before the payoff.."

Then they could decide if you're worth the effort..

Just sayin'.


That's very true, men are goal oriented. Like, "If you increase your sales by 25% for the fiscal quarter, you get an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii."

Or, "If you don't meet your quota this period, you're fired!"

Give them a goal, clearly stated.

For instance, 5 dates, any combination of dinner / movie, and you must make me laugh at least once per date.

Or, a candle-lit dinner, followed by a moonlight walk on the beach, and you're golden.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 172
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/13/2011 7:58:43 AM
Don't you hate it when the post appears not to work, and you wind up double posting?
 UnixGrand
Joined: 5/9/2011
Msg: 173
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/13/2011 7:53:47 PM

I've been told I'm too old to date but they'd be happy to fool around with me till a 20 something came along...I've been asked if I find a man attractive and said yes not to hurt their feelings (I was trying to be open minded rather than superficial about who I dated) but when asked if they found me attractive was told "I guess so!" hmmmmm.


Man.... What a bunch of losers. That is totally disrespectful. I have a quick way of telling if a person is going to be an idiot during the date, or before. It's 99% accurate.
 ChrisI990
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 176
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/16/2011 12:19:25 PM
What you're saying is surely a good thing in the long run right?

Like even though knock backs, rejection and someone not liking you as much in return is excruciating at the time (and i should know) And im sure this was more of a frustrated vent and you know this deep down but would you prefer someone meet you for the first time, be somewhat unimpressed and just be be like "well you'll do.."

Of course not, sure some say its naive to believe you'll meet someone and have that instant connection and love at first sight etc etc but its better to wait it out and put your energy into toughing through the heart ache to find someone who genuinely is inspired by you and thinks you are their dream princess rather then trying your hardest to convince people they want you when really just being yourself is the only requirement it should take for someone to fall in love with you!

Perhaps having "dates" isnt really the way to go its a lot of pressure and high expectations just set out to meet someone and make a new friendship and then see where it goes from there...

Anyway i'll take a penny for my thoughts and i wish you all the best :)
 barleyboy
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 178
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/23/2011 11:57:02 AM
Personally,
I would like to enjoy her company and she mine.

Is that chemistry there?

If not, move on.

In a one sense, I expect nothing. No one is the perfect princess for a lifetime of bliss.

Any long lasting relationship may and probably will require blood, sweat and tears.

So I have learned to tone down my expectations.

Love is many times a one way street.

I am looking for mutual love and attraction.

Vito
 boterkoek73
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 179
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 6/26/2011 9:37:24 AM
For me? I`m looking for basically one thing. At the end of the date, am I interested in seeing you again. To break it down, yes, attraction is important but not the end all and be all. If I had a nice time, good conversation, a couple laughs... then I will want to see you again. It`s not like I have to get married tomorrow. All I want to discover on the first date is whether or not I want to get to know you better. You can only scratch the surface of a person on the first date. It might take a few to know if there is something there. Your comment about men liking you but the spark not being there after just one date? I get that too. Some people are just in too much of a rush.

I think it`s a bit inaccurate to say that the guys are too picky. Try to understand that many of us send out tonnes of messages which are largely ignored. Sometimes we are even blocked for no good reason. I think it`s fair to say that men and women are equally picky but maybe in different ways lol.
 bane175
Joined: 11/29/2006
Msg: 181
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/6/2011 11:48:43 PM
It is amazing! I cannot believe how much BS I’ve been reading last 20 min. Answer is so simple. Every guy is looking for BJ on the first date.
PS. All of you NICE guys with your NICE descriptions of first date’s wishes please see dictionary...
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 182
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 12:19:02 AM
Oh Geez.....that couldn't be easier to answer.

Legs spread wide, a big smile, vacant eyes, mouth shut, no objections, nothing in your head except gratitude that you can be of service.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 183
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 12:31:31 AM

I have all that yet I still manage to get dumped


I could have guessed that. The problem is you do have all that -- he sees it -- he knows it and then chickens out. Thing is that the guy has to dare grasp what he is offered. If he can't bring himself to then this kind of thing happens.

It wouldn't surprise me any if you were one of those girls who listens to the broken picker laments and red flag lore that lots of girls espouse. They offer you well meaning pointers and you listen. Trouble is the advice these girls give is no better than the advice nice guys get. To get past your present roadblock, you need a dude who dares. You need one with red flags... just not too many. The ultra ultra risk adverse approach will keep landing you here.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 184
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 7:29:57 AM
This is what you do OP. First you buy me dinner and a few drinks. I like that a lot. Second, don't be too pushy, I am not going to kiss you right away, so work it slow, make eye contact. Then tell me about yourself. Laugh about your own life. If we kiss, kiss with purpose, otherwise it feels boring and I am not going to call you and ask you for a second date. If you want my body on that first date, well, I stopped doing that. You're going to have to work harder on the next date.

 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 185
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 7:47:29 AM
He he... I've never tried this part:

First you buy me dinner and a few drinks. I like that a lot. Second, don't be too pushy, I am not going to kiss you right away, so work it slow, make eye contact. Then tell me about yourself. Laugh about your own life.

But, I have noticed that, no matter how you get to this point:

If we kiss, kiss with purpose, otherwise it feels boring and I am not going to call you and ask you for a second date.

This is irrelevant:

If you want my body on that first date,

as long as you make this clear, for example, by leaving before she tells you she has to get up in the morning:

well, I stopped doing that.

After that, this part is a sure thing:

You're going to have to work harder on the next date.

whether she would have slept with you on the first night or not.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 186
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 9:00:29 AM
It is like this legs...

You have probably heard already that no two guys are alike. (it would be a miracle if you didn't... I didn't read all nine pages so I can't say.) But they are enough alike that you can group them into a few broad categories. I know. Some nice guy is going to say he's special and it would be unfair. He's right. He is special... just like everyone else.

You have your nice guys . They feel fortunate that you are breathing the same atmosphere. They will do anything for you. Say anything and agree in all matters -- then pounce. Evidently, you don't meet them very often.( burns their ass btw) otherwise you couldn't write what you did. Every single one is certain that he is destined to be your one and only.

You have your White Knights . Like nice guys but more condescending.

Then Hellions -- assorted criminals, semi criminals, outlaw bikers and undisciplined manual laborers. Remarkable for anti social behavior.

Then Rebels -- Like hellions but more civilized and non violent.

Then Louts -- Marked by low brow behavior and attitudes, obesity and sports.

Metrosexuals -- Imitators of gay habits and the proponents of the finer things in life.

Nerds -- wholly devoted to technical and scientific pursuits.

Intellectuals -- wholly invested in artistic or academic pursuits.

Artists -- actors, musicians, writers and supporting occupations i.e. roadie

Certain female traits are more important to each group.

Submission for White Nights, Hellions, Intellectuals
Emotional depth for Rebels, Nerds, Artists
Sexuality for nice guys and louts
Appearances for metrosexuals

Know what type you are dealing with and play up the trait that grabs them most.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 187
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what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 9:17:49 AM
I think you left out a category, didn't you?
You know the ones, the kill-joy "Cynics", with no particular "passion" of their own, who always assume everyone else has to be as self-centered and jaded as they are.... ?!
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 188
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:25:43 AM
Certainly there are cynics. THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE. They don't exist as a separate group for these purposes. They tend to be spread among several of the groupings we already made. The bulk are intellectuals, with significant numbers who are artists and rebels. They are, however, represented in all categories. They don't have a unique trait that motivates them, but rather share a motivation with the rest of the class that they identify with.
 AlreadyTakenBootboy
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 189
what the heck are guys looking for on a first date?
Posted: 7/7/2011 11:58:15 AM
well.... personality is first.... looks are second....to many guys focus on looks.... only....
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