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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Being unemployed and trying to date......      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 54
Being unemployed and trying to date......Page 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

lovelyleonard on 1/6/2010 6:35:50 AM
Subject: Being unemployed and trying to date......
Message: When i was unemployed this women i liked looked down on me for that reason, so got a job and never bothered with that women again. Now here is the comedy part, the same judgemental b1tch not only lost her job but her house is going to be repossessed and she cant offered to pay her car payments and guess which guy she is now interested in? told her "sorry only interested in someone with a job", the look on her face was well worth it


So, did that make you feel good, Lennie? Did it make you feel like you "got even" with the "judgmental ****"?

You da man, buddy.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 55
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 6:02:16 AM

You know where this leads right? Back to our fave topic LOL!

Seems quite a few things here do, not that anyone wants to admit it. Pfft.
 huummmmmm
Joined: 12/22/2009
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 7:17:09 AM
this is the mian reason I lost my GF as she had that opinion even tho I still have a steady income from outside employeement.
I think if there worth having around you they'll want to be with you no matter what. In my case she wasn't worth me. Keep your chin up bud
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 57
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 12:18:43 PM

WomanInProgress...

For us guys its a matter of being backed up...

We can be confident yes without a gf...but getting laid on a regular basis sure doesn't hurt...

Being backed up is impossible unless you're celibate, don't use toys and don't masturbate. I doubt many men can honestly say they're "backed up" unless it's selective. However, even if you DO forego sex unless you're with a woman, it's still not a matter of confidence unless that's what you gauge yourself by.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 3:09:31 PM

sorry my dear- but i won't educate you on how to clean yourself during your period if you don't educate me on being backed up?:) lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't assume it WAS an education. I figured you were aware of it. I don't know about other women, but my time of the month has nothing to do with my sex drive. I guess that can be sort of funny though, depending on sense of humor.

i dont care if i'm pounding on it daily- if I don't have a woman to be with- i get backed up...

Yeah, that's all in your head. Where it goes once you get rid of it is irrelevant. An O is an O, dude.

its a physiological thing-

Ok, so long as we agree. : ) Maybe your emotions are backed up, if they are - then shame on you for having any...lol.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 59
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History
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 3:39:11 PM
There is two variations to this scenerio, one the man lost his job due to downsizing or the economy, common today, but is trying to find a new job or going back to school, this type of man I have no problem dating because I know he has a good character and drive. The other scenerio is a man who lost his job but is doing nothing to change his situation, stays at home plays video games and complains about the world not being fair, this type I wouldn't want around me because he has serious character flaws. I have worked all my life, went to school and got my degree and made a career and home for myself, I want the same drive in a potential partner, is this wrong, I don't think so, does this make me a gold digger, again no because I can pay my own way. Some women are getting slammed because they want the man to be finiancially secure, possibly because men they have encountered who were habitually unemployed, were lazy, had no drive or ambition and just wanted to lay on the couch and mooch. Be honest men, if a female did this to you, wouldn't you kick them to the curb because you deserve better.
 JustCurious1976
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 60
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:54:59 PM
Great Example~!

I was laid off at the end of 2008, but had a good nest egg so I decided to make some life decisions and go back and take some post grad. I ended up meeting a beautiful girl halfway through my education. We were together up until my birthday. She knew my situation and in the beginning of our relationship accepted it. We did travel, had fun, and I always tried to make sure her needs were met. When school was finally finished I went looking for work, but took my time and did not take the first job thrown my way. I cold called companies everyday and went to interviews that I ended up not being interested in. My plan was simple. To ensure that I found a career that was engaging and challenging, one that I could look forward everyday walking into. So during the three months between school and looking for work, my ex became bitter because I was apparently acting irresponsibly and assumed that I did not want to work. She made it very difficult to be with her and she almost cost me my dream career that I now have. She became very negative, withdrew herself, and finally on my birthday before I got a chance to tell her that I would now have a six figure income coming in made the decision to become ignorant and just plain nasty. I took the opportunity to say goodbye and walked out of her life. She found out through a friend that I had received my job, and tried to apologize, but it was too late.

My Point Is: My Grandmother who was married to my Grandfather for 66 years, and loved him passionately said "We always were closer together when we had more problems to deal with, and we put each other first". ( they did bicker quite a bit though :)

Takeaway: We (and I include myself), are to self absorb in our own well being that we forget that as social creatures having, and giving the support of our significant other means the most to us. When you leave this world you take nothing. I can tell you that my Grandfather died a happy and content man.

Conclusion: My Grandmother was the first to tell me to break up with my ex. I'm fortunate to have a great role model. "Love is not unconditional until both people agree to live within it".

Good luck "beenhereandthere",

My Grandparents are proof that there is more to life than financial success. (They met when they both had nothing).

~S
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 61
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/13/2010 10:44:48 AM

lovelyleonard on 1/12/2010 701 AM
Subject: Being unemployed and trying to date......
Message: So, did that make you feel good, Lennie? Did it make you feel like you "got even" with the "judgmental ****"?


Yes and yes.

Well if you want a judge someone for whatever reason then you better hope no back luck comes your way, as the situation could be reversed and I have a job while that judgemental (recently) jobless women is loosing everything around her.

Justice at its best and have no sympathy for such people.
Well, I can dig the sentiments expressed in the first sentence of your reply. But (and perhaps I'm mis-interpreting) you seem to be expressing glee at her misfortune. I can't say that the thought "what goes around comes around, sweetie" wouldn't cross my mind. I'd like to think that I could dispassionately explain to her that her previous lack of loyalty is a character flaw, and I couldn't possibly return to a relationship with such a person. I don't see any point in rubbing peoples' noses in their problems. I tend to reserve my Schadenfreude for right-wing schmucks who, say, preach "family values" and then get caught cruising airport bathrooms.
 beatriceismydog
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 62
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/14/2010 6:26:04 PM
Simple - you and I think alike. Its obvious we are the over 40 crowd with our common sense mindset. If my job were in jeopardy then I'd be too busy finding another one and finding someone to date would be my last priority.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 63
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 1/15/2010 6:59:58 PM

what is wrong with the world that it is fine a woman is unemployed in a relationship, she can call herself a housewife. but there is no house husband allowed he is just a lazy good for nothing gold digger


UUummm - None of that crap is of any importance if you don't even have a GF yet. There are many happy couples where the husband stays home and does a very good job with the kids and house. You need to actually get to the point of HAVING the house and kids before you can make those decisions. Bottom line is, if you don't even have a connection established with a woman, you can't just write to any woman online and tell her to come straight to your front door toot sweet. That is not a "date".
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 64
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 2/11/2010 5:41:11 PM
"Hi,

I know where you're coming from. I worked all my life and in September last year I became unemployed. I'm still in that same situation and finding it very hard to get a job. I wasn't sure about joining PoF for fear that men would see me as liability. I am financially embarrassed, I can't travel, I don't have a car and I live off of JobSeekers allowance which if anyone knows is impossible.

I've had to 2 dates with the same guy this week and it's been great. He's been able to travel to see me and we're planning a third date soon. I'm concerned that it will fizzle out though because he lives about 70 miles away and if we are to continue seeing each other he is going to have to make the trips.

Any thoughts on this. I feel it's unfair that he has to do all the running about but I can't do anything about it at the minute."
---------------------------
Don't worry about it. If he knows the "terms" then just enjoy it rather than allowing all that negative bs come in between.
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 65
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 2/22/2010 12:41:06 AM
@RobertKoi: 100Km isn't that far at all. I was taking German classes at the Goethe Institut in Midtown Atlanta when I separated from my wife. I needed a housemate and a guy in the class needed a place for him and his two doggies. Well, he ended up meeting someone in the military who was stationed in N. Italy. They saw each other for almost a year, with him flying my housemate Joey back and forth to Europe Finally he was transferred back to the States, to Colorado Springs (home to that oh-so-tolerant Xtain cult "F**K the Family") and Joey and the dogs moved out there with him. That was traumatic for me; I loved that goofy little Jack Russell. But they are still together.

100Km ain't nothin'.
 Hippiekinkster
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 66
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 2/22/2010 12:54:47 AM

Bigbillyboi: try having a knee replacement and living on dissabbility at 900 bucks per month. I was a chef for a number of years and made good money, but after an accident and surgery last year my finances have suffered. I never had time for dating and now that I do I thought I never would again because of the old no money thing. I have had many women tell me in the past that money did not matter, an it was all a lie.

I have found the woman that I love though, and it was not on this site. I have met some real nice women here but most were so stuck on themselves I thought they were born in a tube of Super Glue.

I know this isnt easy but look for the women that realy are looking for a good man, don't let it get you down.
Disability? What's that? I get ZERO assistance. Every penny of my income is because of my previous planning and current wits.

Anyway, there, Billyboi, tell me:
1: Is that you in yhe profile pic?
2: Do you vote Republican?
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 67
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/2/2010 4:43:07 PM
Spoken got it down pat. Why if you are looking for a job is it so important to date? I've never understood that.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 68
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/5/2010 10:51:25 AM
I personally wouldn't date someone who was unemployed... but thats only because If i was unemployed myself i wouldn't put myself out there to date and i would understand why they wouldn't want to date me if i had no job. It's just not a good look.

I'd rather fix up my job situation first then date when everything is financially good.

Exactly! It's not about who deserves love, or who has no money, it's about where your priorities or your mindset are.

I could never be carefree enough to date when unemployed unless I won the lottery or was a self made millionaire because I'd be too distracted by my life not being where I want it to be. So to me, anyone who's not working who can't afford to take care of themselves and actually thinks that dating is important is someone I can't relate to...because I would never do that.

I'm all about getting my basic needs met before I do anything else, and to me dating isn't a need at all, much less a basic one. It's recreational, and extra curricular. It's an accessory. When I'm not sure if I can stock my refrigerator, dating isn't even on my radar.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 69
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/5/2010 5:00:20 PM
I think that it's even better when "she's" unemployed. That way we have more time for ourselves. Who the heck spends all 24 hours per day looking for a job anyway? The answer is nobody. You do what you can and that still leaves a lot of time for other things. In fact, the best would be if nobody had to work at all. Work is $hit and a waste of one's life. I'd much rather enjoy it than slaving it away. I see nothing wrong with dating and being unemployed. If it's that important then combine the two.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 70
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/5/2010 5:55:31 PM
*Grin* You know, you're brainwashed just like most other people. Comments like: So who pays your rent and bills, and buys you groceries and food?" are spread between "sheeples" and they follow blindly each other in line. That's why the system's still up like in the Maxtrix movie. Ask yourself why there are unemployed people in the first place! Who pays THEIR rent, food and what have you? Some people need to do their homework - not the indoctrination taught in schools of course.

Someone who's outside of the work market (slave market) doesn't have to be forced to sit on his a$$ waiting for a job to fall down from the sky. If he/she wants to have a social life such as dating I see nothing wrong with it at all. Are you saying that only because you have no job it means no social life, no sex life, no hobbies or interests such as going to the gym, etc? Get real. 9 out of 10 people work for a lousy paycheck not because they smile all the way to work every morning.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 71
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History
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/6/2010 12:51:56 PM

*Grin* You know, you're brainwashed just like most other people.
Brainwashed, because she maintains a mature lifestyle that includes having goals which require working?

Comments like: So who pays your rent and bills, and buys you groceries and food?" are spread between "sheeples" and they follow blindly each other in line.
So what is a person that refuses to work and coasts through life to be labeled as... ? An underachiever, a leech on society? I'll take Sheeple if that's what working to pay my own bills makes me... tyvm.

That's why the system's still up like in the Maxtrix movie. Ask yourself why there are unemployed people in the first place! Who pays THEIR rent, food and what have you? Some people need to do their homework - not the indoctrination taught in schools of course.
The Democrats perhaps?

Threads such as this make me wonder at the status quo of the world... what happened to wanting to achieve something, being proud of having callouses on your hands because they denote an honest day's labour for an honest day's pay.

I'll stand firm in my belief that people should work rather than rely on others and society to support them and if a person is unemployed, then perhaps they should be devoting their time to becoming both employed, and employable rather than hitting the bars on Friday and Saturday nights. The world is made up of so many different types of people, and it's through freedom of choice that those of us that are gainfully employed have the right to NOT date those that are unemployed. Though it's also a sad world in which so many find fault with people that pull their own weight in life...
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 72
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/6/2010 1:41:04 PM
L.S., I won't even bother to comment your post more than by saying that yet another person who can't see the forest for the trees has spoken.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 73
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History
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/6/2010 1:55:47 PM

L.S., I won't even bother to comment your post more than by saying that yet another person who can't see the forest for the trees has spoken.
Typical answer from someone that appears to fall far below the minimun dating standard that most women have...
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 74
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/7/2010 8:35:26 AM
Well, I see nothing but assumptions and they're ALL wrong by the way. But it was a good try. :)

You as well as everybody else on this forum know nothing about me and never will for that matter. A sheeple must ask the following question: why are there unemployed people in the first place? In the Soviet Union for example there was hardly any unemployment at all (or at least it was extremely low). While I don't claim that socialism is any good but neither is greedy and selfish "walk on dead bodies to get what I want in life" capitalism. As for unemployment today in the west, a sheeple like yourself could lose your job in the blink of an eye and then suddenly you'll join the club you're bashing. It's not a crime to be jobless. So how is an unemployed person able to survive in the first place? Well, just like ALL the other millions and millions of other people out there who don't have a job, right?

Again, not having a job doesn't mean that you have to spend all your 24 hours looking for a job. It IS quite okay to actually have a social life and see friends, have hobbies, interests and yes - date men/women as well. The minute people like me are speaking up for a cause or whatever, it is immediately presumed by a sheeple that one has to be in the exact same situation (again a faulty assumption - as always). I tend to see the forest and not the trees only.
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 75
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/9/2010 5:31:20 PM
Rockie:

Women want a man who can pay bills and have a roof over their head and pay half of all the bills. That is some kind of golddigger? I find that having common sense.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 76
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History
Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:00:28 AM

Well, I see nothing but assumptions and they're ALL wrong by the way. But it was a good try. :)
Try taking off your rose coloured glasses. They're not assumptions, they're facts.

Whether you fit in the category or not, you've chosen to think that it's socially acceptable to be unemployed and looking to start a relationship. That's your prerogative... but don't expect that women will agree with you.

Someone else stated that this would be acceptable if he were supporting himself... and that's true to a point. If this were a temporary condition and he was in a position that he would be gainfully employed again in the near future, I can't see a reason to not date him... it's the ones that seem to think that every job is beneath them and they're too good for flinging burgers so they'd rather sit at home with zero income from any sources. Whether or not anyone likes this, they cannot refute that there are a lot of people out there that would rather risk losing everything than to work in a menial labour job...

I've learned from experience that I'll clean someone's dog shyte out of their vehicle before I allow my family to go hungry for even a day. Some things are more important than pride or status in a workplace.
 Wise_Monk
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 77
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Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/11/2010 6:49:44 AM
There are lots of people who go to work every day and work like dogs, but still have to get public assistance because their job simply doesn't pay enough. There are also unemployed people who look for a job with every effort they can, and yet continue to get nothing but 'no's from everywhere be it mopping floors, to fast food. I've been in both positions I've described, and both for extended periods. Paths vary.

I've dealt with women who were unemployed. Some were looking very hard, some just wanted me to help them financially. The ones that just wanted money were quickly sent away. If you have decent judgement, you can see very shortly into the relationship which way a person is trying to go.
 redheadlady4
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 78
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Being unemployed and trying to date......
Posted: 11/19/2010 10:50:35 PM
This is just my opinion, I dont think a man or a woman should seek out a relationship while unemployed. I think it would be unfair to the other person who ur dating. The unemployed person shouldnt be spending their money going on dates, nor should they expect the other person to pick up the tab every time. I say this because ...if I were unemployed, I wouldnt have the money to date..plus I would want to spend the majority of my time trying to find a job..not a date, thats my opinion
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