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 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 71
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a datePage 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Guys with average jobs old pick up trucks etc are so much sweeter and attentive..I fell in love with a guy from Home Depot but I get sooo tired of hearing how much they plan on bettering them self for me.
Between this comment and the following
I try to let them take the lead ( I get tired of taking the lead in my job)
I think you are trying to have a relationship where you are in control. Check yourself, because there are plenty of confident guys out there. I have had the same experiences as you with respect to men being off-put by my job, but you have to ask yourself why you seem drawn to the "sweet" men who seem to be in a consistently lower income and you can't seem to connect with a carpenter that has his sh!t together. Lower income does NOT mean lower self-respect and self esteem unless that is something to which you are consistently drawn. Or, of course, could be that you are not as appealing as you would like to believe!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 72
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Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/19/2010 7:51:27 AM

hate to say this about the home team, but in the past couple of months I have run into some women in their 40's and 50's who are well, let's just say less than pleasant.

Some of these women are very attractive, some are deluded about their looks, but whatever the case, there is an attitude present, and it is the attitude I see quite often discussed here in the forums by men.

Hate to say it, but more and more I see why men are so disillusioned by women.
It's one thing to diss the women you've "run into" as being conceited, self-absorbed, whatever. But to put down women as a collective and sympathize with men because of a few women you've met sounds rather mysogynistic. "More and more you see why men are disillusioned?' Seems many women and men paint women in general with a very wide and critical brush. "Some" women "you' met ~ is not basis for your synopsis of "women" in general and why men are "so disillusioned"..

Perhaps you didn't mean it the way it sounded.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 73
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Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/19/2010 10:27:30 AM
Thanx mizbex.. as a rule you don't generalize however; I just didn't want the men in the fora who repeatedly show their discontent of women in general, to get that "uh ha" colaboration and thereby justify their generalized dis-like/bitterness towards the opposit sex. .. because .. We're not ALL deplorable, as you know..

Cheers
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 74
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/19/2010 4:16:55 PM

and you can't seem to connect with a carpenter that has his sh!t together. Lower income does NOT mean lower self-respect and self esteem unless that is something to which you are consistently drawn. Or, of course, could be that you are not as appealing as you would like to believe!


hummm I think your now to something my dear Watson!

If one seeks wisdom,first you have to live it.
Myself, I'm will always be learning it......

And always grow and compliment from each other, who we shared the dance called, the love of life.

good attitudes go along way. ~smile~
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 75
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/21/2010 8:20:12 AM
Realitybites78: we know that money is a touchy subject for you due to your personal circumstances. However, are you really serious when you ask the question
I already said in an older post back in the 30's when the divorce rate was LOW men ALWAYS made more money than women, the genders never made the same amount of money. So how do you explain that?
If you do not know the answer to this, perhaps income is not the only disparity holding you back from meeting educated, intelligent, successful, happy women with engaging personalities. Seriously, take a sociology class or something.

Oh, and because I know I have to spell it out:
1930's = what little jobs there were for women were at clerical level and significantly lower pay due to limited educational opps, etc. Remember?
men ALWAYS made more money than women, the genders never made the same amount of money.
(BTW my grandma was a divorced working single mom during this timeframe).
Ergo, the majority of women often had very few options other than to remain in bad marriages ... "lower" divorce rate.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 76
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/21/2010 1:48:45 PM

If you do not know the answer to this, perhaps income is not the only disparity holding you back from meeting educated, intelligent, successful, happy women with engaging personalities. Seriously, take a sociology class or something.


reallybites, just so you know that sociology is not a sexual disease! lol

And since I'm retired I'll work only for food........of thought....
 paul477
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 77
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/21/2010 3:39:32 PM
OP......I know absolutely nothing about you other than what you have thus far stated. You seem to have one of the most uninformative profiles that I have ever seen. With that said......I can not believe the attacks on you....personal attacks from people that know very little about you. It is sad to say that people may just be envious of your position and status so they are saying those negative things.

Now, about your question, here is my take on what the problem may be for a man that makes far less than you.

1. His ability to be able to treat you the way that he thinks you should be treated.....as in taking you to places for entertainment, dining, vacations, etc that he can not afford. That can come right down to the vehicle that he drives...he may be ashamed to be picking you up in such a car/truck/van.

2. When you are together at any type of function and people turn to him and ask what he does for a living....if they are of a higher social strata, he may be embarrassed to say, and yet be like me and never want to lie or mislead, putting him in an uncomfortable position.

3. Society in general would many times look at a person in his position and think he was a 'boy toy', kept man, gigolo, or other demeaning term....deadbeat, gold digger, or whatever.

What you need to find is a man that is secure in his masculinity and knows who he is and really doesn't care too much about other people's opinion....not a callus person but someone that can truly laugh off the looks or sneers that can be given by people thinking him inferior in some way. I don't know how many people actually comprehend how valuable a spouse (male or female) is that just takes care of the household duties. Hey, if you want to bring home the bacon, I will fry it up in a pan! If a man would do the shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, yard work, and other such chores so that when you come home, you can spend the quality time together, that man is pure gold.

Myself, I always tell people that 'real men do wear pink'......it is just a color....like any other color. Who cares if it is pink? It is important to wear clean clothes and appropriate attire for the activity but who cares what color as long as it looks nice? Besides that, any person that thinks 'real men' don't do dishes or change babies or scrub a toilet just isn't worth worrying about. I have always wondered who decided that this was women's work or men's work and not to be done by the other........give me a break! It is just WORK!

The important thing to remember is to never put him down for his lack of income....if you do that, you will lose him forever.....period. If you find that he has a special talent or ability that he has always wanted to explore, especially in the field of business, then support him.....financially and emotionally, to get him set up to be successful too. It would probably go a long way to building up any self esteem issues that might arise. Just don't try to micro-manage his efforts. If he would undertake to be the 'home maker' for you two, set him up with his own bank account and funds, that way, he can feel as if he is truly taking you out and treating you. One of the worst mistakes a woman can make is to be seen passing a man the money to pay for things in front of all those present.

One final thing that I want to say is to let the feelings of love dictate who you want to be with. If both of you feel the attraction and are willing to work out the details of the relationship......just go for it!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 78
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/22/2010 11:56:58 AM
Well, no photo available -- so how does one know if you're attractive?

If a woman is a tall, attractive woman who makes great money -- no, I don't see a problem in guys running away. Sure, some might -- but you might be hitting up the redneck bars or ultra-competitive guys. Lay off of those, and you'll be fine.
 RN_4ever
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 79
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/24/2010 2:27:48 PM
Try dating younger guys.. they have less hang-ups about money. First, they don't feel the pressure to keep up because it's expected you have achieved more.. your older...and most weren't raised with that "man being the head of household" stuff.. in fact, many have been raised by a strong independant single mom...
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 80
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/14/2012 1:42:40 PM

in fact, many have been raised by a strong independant single mom...


And need another mommy figure to take care of them, now that they aren't in mommy's house anymore.

Unsuccessful women married to successful men have always complained of feeling undervalued, or disrespected. Is it so unlikely that men who are less successful than the woman they are with can be made to feel the same way... Whether it's all in their mind, or a reality. Myself, I don't find many attractive women online who can make it past education, income, and social status to find out anything about a man that might interest her. In the real world, it seems somewhat easier.
 OutofControlMan
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 81
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/15/2012 4:09:34 PM
the adjectives "Successful" and "attractive" especially when self-defined are next to meaningless, when the courage to include at least one photo is not there
 Happy2Day
Joined: 2/10/2011
Msg: 82
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/15/2012 6:09:45 PM
I read your profile. It says you are military - there are no CEO's in the military that I know of. It also says "some college". Coupled together, this leads me to believe you are stretching the truth in this post....
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 83
Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/15/2012 6:41:53 PM
The men who are intimidated aren't the men for you. Playing dumb or helpless won't work. In the long run their insecurities would surface and cause problems.

Be who you are. When you find the right guy, he'll be able to handle it just fine.
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 84
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Why are successful attractive women intimidating and can't get a date
Posted: 2/15/2012 10:28:48 PM
I've run into that too...I'm not overly attractive but I have a great job that most can't beat in pay, I own my own home and I take care of myself quite well. Men don't quite know how to fit into my life even when I tell them they just have be fun, respectful and nice. Just because we can operate within the corporate world, doesn't mean we want the corporate type...not sure I would want the convenience store clerk but to each their own. I have always joked that I want someone who can knock 'em dead in the boardroom and come home to fix my breaks. I can lead a presentation and come home to cook a killer meal or build a fence so it is possible lol. But their ego gets in the way and they fear getting hurt in the end so they give up without even trying. You just need to find a secure man. They are rare...some of my friends have found them but more when they were building their careers, it's much harder after. One way to help things is to find some spots that you can let them feel like they are needed...even if they aren't. I can mow my lawn and clean my furnace filter but I can also let them do it instead and not complain how they do it lol. I'd rather not have to play that game but I also understand that if it helps them feel needed and more equal it's worth it to allow them to feel secure and good about themselves so we can focus on having fun otherwise.
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