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Show ALL Forums  > Testimonials  > Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.      Home login  
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 ghostryder1970
Joined: 3/14/2010
Msg: 40
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Well, I certainly am looking for the supermodel type but lets be real...if she was a supermodel does she REALLY need to be on PoF because she has trouble finding a date??

That being said...all I ever wanted out of this site was someone who I shared common interests with and to spend time with. This is my fourth attempt at PoF and I can't say over the years the hundreds of messeges I sent out, the scant few replies I've received, and the one date I've actually been on that unfortunately never went anywhere. While finding someone on PoF might be nice, I think I'll also keep trying in the real world where people actually talk to one another...face to face...in person even.

And at least, when the weather is nice...I can always ride my bike
 theseus82
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 41
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 12:11:33 AM
Gershwin, I think that's precisely why it's easy to get bothered with this site (or any similar site, for that matter). Because we expect this to be a place of escape, it's easy to be resentful when reality comes creeping back in. It's like the man who gets annoyed when the missus asks him to take out the trash when he's just sat down in front of the TV.
I certainly wasn't meaning to express as much negativity as many posters seem to have thought. I haven't lost hope, and I certainly don't plan to meet anyone on here (anymore). I'm banking on real life for that.
Speaking just for myself but as a 20-something, I suppose I've got some baggage. I've never been married before, though, so I don't know that it's comparable.
Generally I assume that a person with no baggage whatsoever would not be frequenting a dating website. :)
 mrvietnam
Joined: 3/23/2010
Msg: 42
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 10:30:06 AM
"women" on this site are shallow...
you spend lots of time on writing a message to them based on the context on their profile... it's either "read delete" or "unread delete", not even a simple "not interested" reply. how hard is it to write something like that?
even an average girl here thinks that she is the queen of queen of England.

I like how this site keep telling you to make your profile interesting and write interesting letter and put non shirtless pictures on and you'll get girls to message you like no tomorrow.
 mrvietnam
Joined: 3/23/2010
Msg: 43
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 10:42:42 AM
i mean even if an excessively obsessed female with 20 kids message me, I would at least have the courtesy to message her back and say hello, or even stir up a conversation (because no female here is willing to talk to me), but doesn't mean that I am necessarily interested.
 mrvietnam
Joined: 3/23/2010
Msg: 44
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 10:44:43 AM
i ment obese ..........................
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 45
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 2:04:29 PM

I tend to message only the most attractive girls on POF also. However, I don't do this because I want to be rejected. I do this because every girlfriend I've had is as or more attractive than these girls. There s an inherent issue with the girls on POF and I've said this down through the years. It doesn't put me off all that much because I'm only here for a bit of fun. I can pull a woman no probs so when I have 10 emails unread/deleted/unreplied I couldn't really give a flying f**k.


Stashes: sure, it makes sense to me (at first) that you are looking for women who are similar levels of attractiveness as previous girlfriends. You logically conclude those are the women who are in your league, and then you become frustrated that these women don't reply to you.

But here's the thing. While your approach seems 100 percent logical, you also admit it's not working. Maybe there is some reason that you used to be able to attract beautiful girlfriends, and you don't any longer. Or maybe you still are able to attract beautiful girlfriends, but they don't want to stay with you.

Whatever the case, it doesn't do any good to get angry and bitter about it. Women on POF don't have "inherent issues". This site has so many members that, statistically, it is probably a pretty representative sample of the single population at large. If your approach isn't working, then try something else. In any case, if you can "pull a woman no probs" as you say, why are you even on here?
 Madison900
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 46
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 4:00:42 PM
Are you kidding Ron????
You sound bitter...and twisted!????...you may not handle rejection very well by the sounds of it.lts about respect and people are not doing that in dating sites.lts pretty grim on that level.
lts best to leave dating sites if its become a battle of witts..or a game?

l...personally would avoid any man who has "Most of the women on this site are gameplayers and morons"...yet men are coming across as that too.
But being a positive lady ld never express it verbally in a bitter way....because theres lots of good people in both sexes.
The thread poster: l think you have turned it into a sick game.Maybe you need to have a good think about why youre even on here?

l think youre doing it out of bitterness....because its not love that brims within you thats for sure.
Here's a new idea!!!!....try getting REAL about your life.Theres a new idea.

Leave the warped humour entertainment factor for TV viewing.
You are doing it to get the upper hand...and its stupid?
Youve really gotta get yourself sorted out here people:)
 sca344
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 47
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 4:32:37 PM
Its not that hard. But I know what you mean. When you write an email that you are proud of and it gets ignored. Then the ones you didn't think you were as clever on gets a response you are like wtf.

I am with you stashes. i am here on here for the same reason. Meeting people is something to do as a past time. And not looking for a serious relationship either. I was married for 5 years and I will be 27 this year. I think the people who really get upset is this is their only outlet to meeting women.

My point is that guys arent communicating the right way. just trying to help. and its really not that hard. If they don't reply the first time to something funny. Come back commenting on something funny in your first message. That works amazing here.
 sca344
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 48
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 4:40:52 PM
I can give an example of that too if you send me a message on here.
 mrvietnam
Joined: 3/23/2010
Msg: 49
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/26/2010 7:06:18 PM
my reply rate is 1 of 25.. i swear! and thats if I am lucky!
 theseus82
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 50
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/27/2010 4:33:53 PM
I feel like I should recant everything I said on here. The funny thing is, when I meet a girl in person, I can tell almost instantly whether we'll be able to hit it off in some capacity. I can't tell that anything will come of it, but I can at least tell if our personalities will mesh well enough that we can converse fluidly and enjoy each other's company.
On here, we have only two things to go on: pictures and the profile itself. The fact is that the true person doesn't really come across when you're just reading about their interests and so forth.
You get to know someone better by speaking to them on the phone than instant messaging, and more by being around them in person than talking on the phone.
By being constricted to learn about a person just based on the profile, I might find a girl who I find attractive and have similar interests in music, for example, but I've known plenty of pretty girls with whom I should mesh great with on paper, but who I can't stand in reality.

If only there was a way to analyze the identity, upload the data, and cross-check it against everyone else to determine who will have chemistry. I guess I'll just leave that to real life. :)
 justsomeoneelse
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 51
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/27/2010 5:17:54 PM
Seus82, there is shining wisdom in which you wrote. It is difficult to understand or know a person from simple words on a webpage profile. For example, they may come across as an ultimatly friendly person online, but when it comes down to meeting them in person, the story changes. I speak of this because yes, it has happened before here to me, many times.

Of course people lie on their profiles. Now, the ladies and raptors have posted many a story here about how they met this guy who turned out to be completely different in their profile.

Things that often are brought up at POF (just a refresh)

1. Photos are ten years or more older than what they post.
2. "I am easy going, sweet and I have a heart of gold". This one caught me before..
3. Profession. it's funny how this one changes a lot. Childcare worker often is relayed as
"unemployed mother".

Don't mind me, like someone mentioned before, I am bored.
 SilenceSkyandSea
Joined: 3/5/2010
Msg: 52
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/27/2010 11:56:52 PM
Most attractive women I've met are some combination of incontinent, unprincipled, misleading and, on occassion, evil. Being from Los Angeles, I've had several offers to model and been complimented for good looks, but it's still done little to find me a mutually beneficial relationship. What Ron has to say is certainly true in many respects; those who deny it will, five hours later, end up supporting it.
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 53
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/28/2010 2:59:18 PM

I mean I am here because of those moments during the day when I've nothing better to do and browsing through profiles and sending a few mails is my idea of fun.


Yeah, I get it, all right, Stashes. To sum up what you said: you don't want a relationship, you can easily get women elsewhere, and you are on here to relieve boredom and boost your ego. And you wonder why women are not responding to you on this site? How many women actually want a guy who fits your description? By now, every woman knows not to waste time with a guy who's "not that into you", right? We want to be wanted.
 sca344
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 54
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/28/2010 3:32:16 PM
haha... stashes you got the wrath of jr on your butt. just kidding....

What I got from that is that he doesnt put all his eggs in one basket. He can meet people anywhere. so can everyone else.. and everyone else should. im not sure about the ego part. I am not a mind reader.

People shouldn't expect anything from these types of sites. If you find someone, awesome. If not, at least you got to broaden your horizons and meet a bunch of different people in a short period of time.

Don't be so serious. :)
 jr123567
Joined: 2/15/2009
Msg: 55
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/29/2010 8:41:50 AM
lol...."wrath"..that was cute, thanks sca344.

No, I'm not taking it too seriously at all -I totally agree with you, sca344. I like the way you put it, and I feel the same way. And maybe stashes was trying to say the same thing, but it came out very differently and more negative. Sure, a casual and relaxed no-pressure attitude is good. But I guess there's a line between that, and coming across as cavalier or uninterested, which could turn off potential dates. Does that make sense?
 sca344
Joined: 1/12/2010
Msg: 56
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/29/2010 4:02:44 PM
you better quit flirting jr.. you are gonna make all these other guys jealous =P
 justsomeoneelse
Joined: 3/13/2010
Msg: 57
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 3/29/2010 7:10:03 PM
With the exception of me...hehe. I met my gf elsewhere. I just come to have a muck round on the forums.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 58
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 11/16/2010 11:20:41 AM
I sometimes wonder if sites like this work better for people who live near large metropolitan areas. I live in a small town and the nearest major city is over an hour and half away. It isn't feasible for me to try to date someone that far away. Anyway, I see a lot of women near cities like Cleveland, Columbus,etc. but don't usually try to contact them due to the distance factor. My best guess is that people who live closer to large cities like that do a lot better in online dating due to the sheer number of potential matches. I don't see an easy remedy since I won't be moving soon.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 59
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 11/30/2010 9:37:21 AM

I think you're just looking for an excuse not to try.


The onion does the peeling...^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
People drive an hour or more to work..that's lazy and uninterested.
 DTFan88
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 60
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 12/1/2010 9:16:19 AM

I hate to point this out to you but it works the same in onine dating as in real life.
If you live in a low population area then your choices are far more limited than one with a heavy population in real life or online. Just fewer options all the way around! And if you won't drive an hour and a half you don't want to meet someone bad enough I suppose.


I'd be willing to drive up to an hour, but no further for dating. Ideally, I'd like to meet someone who lives fairly close so planning multiple dates wouldn't be such an ordeal. I like that this site is free and everything but right now I'm probably not that serious about getting dates from it. I enjoy the message board community and still like to browse new members in my area from time to time though. I actually see a lot of women IRL I'm attracted to (in my area) but it is usually in places where it is hard to break the ice and meet them (ie. at grocery stores,etc.). I need to get out and be more social for sure.
 TerriLeee
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 61
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 12/13/2010 9:59:45 PM
Well it's no wonder why your still single! You have the worst attitude I have heard of in years. I read your comment you made here and all I could do was shake my head that there's guys like you still in this world....GROW-UP. Besides you make it sound like every woman on POF has difficulties relating to men. Maybe take a look at yourself first and see if the problem isn't just you.
 RubyWaxxx
Joined: 10/23/2010
Msg: 62
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 12/13/2010 11:37:45 PM
The thing is, you're enjoying this, aren't you, OP?
Yoú're enjoying flicking through the photos, reading the profiles, trying to find a perfect 10.
This is sooo like on-line shopping...
My advice is this:
accept your addiction and monitor it so you don't spend hour upon hour here, checking out the chicks.
If you're tired of no one taking up your invitations, move on from your "verbal fart" approach and show some of that wit. Otherwise, don't bother sending messages.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 63
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 2/13/2011 6:01:03 AM
Wow, they started deleting the nice guy threads in other topics, but seem to be totally missing this one.

I've never heard such negativity. How can you think a woman would want to date you with the attitude you have?

It won't matter what suggestions are made to these men because they always come back with yet another excuse.
 theseus82
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 64
Why (I think) it hasn't worked for me.
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:19:12 AM
Actually, peeps, I just came back because I got my old laptop working and found this site in my bookmarks. I haven't been here in months. I've been in a great relationship for about nine months now. It had nothing to do with this website (or any website), but the best of luck to all of you.
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