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 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 23
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or largePage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
There are 20 something responses in this thread, and I bypassed a good amount. Makes me wonder how many people mentioned infidelity, without having to read through all the responses.

OP,

Do mean the last straw to a marriage/relationship, or in general? I suppose I could chip in.

I wasn't actually in an actual, loving, relationship with this guy, but we were seeing each other. It was, unfortunately for me, something that I absolutely wasn't interested in, which was a FWB relationship. Once I realized that he wasn't interested in nothing more than sex, that was the last straw.

Keep in mind, I only slept with this guy twice and that was only because I only saw him ONCE a week because he lived such a far distance.

I wanted more out of it, but he wanted to start off as friends and I started thinking to myself AFTER sleeping with him, that why am I sleeping with a guy that considers me a friend?

The last night I saw him, he was looking for me to put out and I flat out told him no. I felt that he not only had bad intentions, but also motives. I refused to be another "stupid girl", as Pink put it.

There is my story.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 24
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:12:29 AM
thunderstruck, I wouldn't call ignoring your wishes and desires silly, but something confuses me.


She knew I hated and despised fancy restaurants with a passion and it was one of the few things we ever fought over, besides her being frigid.


Why were you even dating someone who is "frigid"?
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 25
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:19:39 AM
If you let silly things break you up, then you weren't serious to begin with. When I have ended relationships, it's been due to BIG things.






I wouldn't of said good bye to my marriage over a silly thing. After years of little communication and no companionship his verbal abuse turned physical that was the last straw for me. Even though it wasn't hitting it showed his lack of respect and/or love for me.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 27
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:26:08 AM
Just before he went into my bedroom and stripped down before he even tried to kiss me (without my permission) I asked him "How do you feel about me?" He said "You're alright". Needless to say I sent him home. That was his foreplay in less than 2 weeks of knowing him and on the 1st date.
He probably thinks I'M frigid.
 Puppydog54
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 29
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:41:00 AM
I had been dating a nice, cute lady for about a month and was beginning to really like her. I took her to see "Marley & Me" and warned her to be sure and bring kleenex because she would cry. Well, not only didn't she cry but on the way out of the theatre she said, "I don't see the big deal... it was just a dog!"

No thanks. That was it.
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 30
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:45:20 AM
A silly thing - maybe a joke I didn't find funny, or a mess in the kitchen, may have been a final straw ( I honestly don't recall) but that would have been just an excuse. Breakups for me have always involved serious issues that didn't get resolved. The following list outlines some of the final straws ( interim breakups included)

1. he wouldn't let me help for my developmentally disabled baby
2. he left because I wouldn't support him.
3. he disappeared for days. Other women were involved.
4. took my horse on a hunting trip against my expressed wishes, allowed someone with poor judgment to ride her into a thicket where a stick punctured her eye and blinded her
5. while drunk, pinned my teenage son up against the wall in anger.
6. arguement over my questioning an answer he gave to a question of mine.
6. he was mentally and emotionally abusive most of the time. Of course, I made him behave that way. Oops, that's an underlying cause...and the real source of a final breakup.

 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 31
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:53:49 AM
Nothing silly but one in particular was a final straw,

Always whined about us not going out together and doing anything..The reason it never happened? Her sister's baby daddy's cousins Aunt's bestfreind's brokers twice removed great grandfathers sister was having issues with her live in and they needed to go and "show her some support" so would I mind if we canceled?, The last time it had happened, I had made reservations at a really nice resturant,had flowers that were to be delivered,an evening stroll planned and just spending some time with her.. I had been told "I am all yours tonite,my schedule is clear and we are a go" I called her house to make sure she would be ready at the appointed time,and...yep,true to form..she was no where to be found..this was 2 hrs beforehand mind you. I waited until 30 minutes before we were to meet at the resturant and then called and canceled the reservations,had the flowers brought to my house where they were sat on the counter andI received no call and couldnt locate her all of that evening,the next day she called and couldnt understand why I was a bit peeved when in fact she was off consoling her cousins roommate who had broke up with her boyfriend..I told her we needed to talk in person and hung up after a startled "Why?" When she arrived and we had sat down i explained my actions and handed her the flowers and escorted her to the door with a hearty "See you later and I'll be dropping off your things,please have mine boxed and ready to go tomorrow" and that my friend was the end of that BS.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 32
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:38:16 AM
When she spent a whole day criticizing me.....to my teenage daughter who then joined in against me.
GAME OVER
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 36
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 12:14:48 PM
There were two final straw moments with my ex. He said something really horrible to my daughter, then went on an hour long diatribe about how all of the kids would be failures, etc. and I was literally astounded that anyone would wish ill on his children in order to cause the mother pain. I told him to get counseling or we weren't staying together. About a year later, I had already spoken to my landlord about changing the locks, etc. We got into an argument, he shoved me, and I had to take my daughter to school when she thought he might snap and beat the crap out of me, she was scared to death, that was the final straw.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 39
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:27:09 PM
Still had the umbilical cord attached to mum
Drinking
Compulsive lying
Cheating
Cat allergies. I say up front I have pets, don't contact me if you're allergic. Pets aren't going anywhere.

One guy could never phone me--always TEXTING!!

Repeated no shows/excuses not to show for a date
Physical/verbal abuse
Could not hold a job
Freeloader
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 41
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 6:28:52 PM
well, to thread participants whose partners have put them through hell, this will seem trivial.

i had gone out with this guy a few times and he seemed a perfectly nice individual. he had a good job, a sweet little house, no outstanding warrants etc.

well, one evening, as we sat in his house in front of his fireplace, he mentioned that he needed to get a picture for over his mantle. i asked if he had anything in mind. he replied he wanted a print by thomas kinkade.

i ran screaming into the night.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 43
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 7:33:49 PM
He pulled his socks off and his feet looked like something out of a sci-fi movie....yikes!
 beehearnow
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 44
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/9/2010 7:40:52 PM

well, one evening, as we sat in his house in front of his fireplace, he mentioned that he needed to get a picture for over his mantle. i asked if he had anything in mind. he replied he wanted a print by thomas kinkade.

i ran screaming into the night.


as well you should have. I would not call a kinkade print a silly thing
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 46
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:47:19 PM
He never had time for me and then I saw his profile on a social networking site and on it said "looking for a relationship".
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 47
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:49:38 PM

He was soooooooooooooooo negative. Didn't take long to figure out he and I simply would not be compatible. It's too bad, he was a nice guy ~ BUT...
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 48
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/12/2010 5:53:40 PM

besides her being frigid.


*******NEWS FLASH********

There is no such thing as "frigid". This is a term that Victorian men made up to describe women who did not want to have sex with them. Instead of looking in the mirror, they put the blame on the woman. A woman who finds you sexually attractive will be hot and juicy for you. It isn't HER, it's YOU. I'll bet she has no problem getting herself off.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 49
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/12/2010 6:29:47 PM
Very simpley,,,,the lack of ability to understand the "golden rule". What is really starting to scare me is the so-called mature women around my age that feel that not saying anything is not lying. I call them,,,,chicken shiats. Not only do I walk very quickly,,,,I don't even waste my breath on them. Finding out it's like talking to a brick wall. And there are a LOT of brick walls out there.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 52
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/12/2010 7:54:45 PM
Was more bored with her than being alone-!

Not feeling any love on her end (and I sure was dishing out my share)-!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 56
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/13/2010 8:17:45 PM
When the guy with three degrees (including a doctorate) whom I had been dating for three months came to my house and took his shoes off. I asked what the band-aid was on his toe was for and if he had hurt himself, and he said, "No, I have a wart on my toe."

That was the end of that.
 rainman12
Joined: 10/18/2007
Msg: 59
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/13/2010 8:48:16 PM
How appropriate a topic.

Tonight was the third attempt in the past week to go out with this girl that I've seen a few times already. She always suggests the days, I'm pretty flexible, but her work isn't since she works on call lots

First attempt, were supposed to meet at her place, and I would have gone over there, yet luckily I was running a little late so I texted her to let her know. Oh, she's not home, she's driven to a friend's house because her friend had been robbed. OK, no problem, we can reschedule, but a little heads up woulda been nice.

Second attempt....we'd talked on the weekend and we were supposed to get together Monday. I text her Monday, she got called into work, but will be off in the evening. Great! What time? No reply.....

....so then I get a text yesterday asking what happened to me....so we make plans for tonight. Again I text her, asking what time she's working until....6, but might need to stay until 8....ok, meet up at 9?....no reply....so I leave a voice mail an hour ago.....still no reply.....until tomorrow I'm sure.

And that ladies and gentlemen is strike 3. I can generally let things slide once or twice, and I consider basically standing me with out notice up a pretty big thing, but I give the benefit of the doubt because shit happens, but a third time is just straight up disrespectful - it's beyond giving them the benefit of the doubt, it's a pattern.

EDIT VVV Generally I wouldn't have bothered after the first time, or the second time, but for some stupid reason I made excuses for her.
 msmitzi
Joined: 1/6/2009
Msg: 62
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/14/2010 6:58:47 AM
Looking back, there were a lot of reasons why I should have ended it. Being with someone for over a year who was very attentive in private, but would barely acknowledge me in public. Dating someone who is totally self-centered and mean and making excuses for the bad behavior, hoping he would change. (I realize now that "grief" does not make a person self centered and mean. These traits are an integral part of their personality and was there all along.. )
The final straw was intentional verbal and emotional abuse. Saying something cruel that had been well planned out in advance just to hurt me. There are some words that cannot be explained or taken back.
 pearligirl
Joined: 1/21/2009
Msg: 67
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/14/2010 7:13:44 PM
never because of a "silly thing".
how about these:
1. he lied about drinking problem to the extent that he "hid" his drinking thinking I didn't notice.
2. the last of another 2 week silent treatment after an arguement.
3. continual verbal abusive to myself and daughter.
4. put on short leash for no reason other than "control issues".

fyi...after several months of separation and couples counseling sometimes you realize it's all a dealbreaker and best to move on for all parties involved, meaning children and ourselves. 2 years later, I think we are all happier/at peace even as a "non-traditional" family.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 74
what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/16/2010 4:38:05 AM
rjdio,

You should be happy that she cared enough about her appearance to have gone to the expense to buy and to be WEARING her dentures.

I have no problem with dentures, but I do have a problem with dentures that spend more time in a cup than in the mouth....LOL
 Littleone12484
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 81
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/17/2010 2:05:02 AM
I wouldn't necessarily say it was silly, though super horrible like him abusing me, but just a lack of *real* communication. He was a texter, though it was cute at first, I noticed started to notice that was his only form of communication with me, we never talked on the phone, as the relationship developed it became an issue, and one day we had an argument via text message, and it was something that I felt needed to be talked about at least over the phone and he told me that he would text, but not talk on the phone about it. From there I knew it just wasn't going to work out.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 90
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what was the final straw that made you not want to be with that person , small or large
Posted: 1/18/2010 3:59:30 PM
most men dumped me or disappeared so I don't really have anything to offer cuz I never got the chance to dump anyone, but then they weren't really real relationships, rather just long stints of dating and they were more often than not young guys around 23.rofl Guess I've been lucky when I read what everyone one on here has been through. Eeek!

M
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