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 curveylicious
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 176
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?Page 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I like to get to know someone through email first, l want to just chat and get a feel for the person their likes and dislikes then if all is well we can discuss meeting. I don't want to meet a man after only chatting for 10 minutes, or to give out my phone number it makes me feel very vulnerable. I look at it this way, if he is really interested he will wait till l am comfortable and if he can't wait then he isn't for me, as l am not into impatient men.
 Angel_Advntg
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 177
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/25/2010 5:25:53 PM
The emails/texts don't necessarily have to go on for weeks or months - it all is varied according to how you get along - and if things click - the quicker they click - the faster you meet - just not overnight - women have alot more to be cautious about then you men.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 178
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/25/2010 5:56:35 PM
Because some people want to get the ball rolling, how much can you really learn from someone on an email?????

Depends on how prolific they are in their written communication.
I can tell you if someone can't be bothered to give me more than their name and one sentence in an email I'm not that impressed. I've had guys send me their phone number within the first email and I've made the mistake of giving them the benefit of the doubt. BAD IDEA! Their phone conversations always would be littered with SERIOUS red flags of really recent breakups, PPOs, inappropriate sexual comments, and they have no personal boundaries. Live and learn. If they can't be bothered enough to tell me a little bit about themselves or to want to know something about me it shows me they like to rush into everything. Which means they are probably lousy lovers too. Drive by dating is of no interest to me. Yikes!
 oye101
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 179
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/25/2010 9:42:22 PM
for me, I rather meet that guy right away if I find him a bit interesting and that could be the first day contact. I waste no time. Few reason I do this, one I want to see and talk to the real person. To see if I find him attractive outside his pix. Two, I don't want to waste my time talking email back and forth, getting caught up in the moment of dreams and dreams and to find out later in person he was not exactly what you thought. Waste of time. Finally third, I'm not afraid to meet someone in public and I pay for my own coffee or even his. I think this method is so much better b/c nobody gets hurt. I haven't had a date yet, only meetings that never led to a first date.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 180
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/26/2010 3:24:36 AM
Phone calls are nice but just think is she or he the one that sending emails back and forth. A couple phone calls or 4 or 5 emails to set a up a meeting place that the lady picks for her to feel comfortable but no more than 2 weeks. If after no meet after 2 weeks I chak the lady up to being a player.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 181
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/26/2010 11:03:37 AM

No exchange of ideas. No intellectual conversation. No meeting of the minds.


Which you can do none of that until you actually meet, What someone says in a message tells me nothing about them accept for facts about them, It doesn't give an idea of what they are really like or what there personality is like and it doesn't tell whether our personalities click.

As I said in my previous post, people who do not want to meet fairly quickly are hiding something, i.e a boyfriend or that they are actually married

Someone who is interested in you will want to meet you very quickly.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 182
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/26/2010 3:44:04 PM
Ive had a few disasterous experiences with POF'ers so now, I like to meet relatively quickly to see if what I am reading or hearing, or seeing in pictures is the real person or not.

Ive met people who couldnt put a complete thought together, though their profiles were beautifully written - so who wrote the profile and responded to the emails?

Ive met people who were shorter, older, taller, balder than their pictures and wondered if they had sent their dad instead.

Ive met people who said they didnt smoke, but on leaving the restaurant and getting into their car I noticed them light up. ALso met non drinkers who were sloshed before I got to the restaurant to meet them.

I used to like to take my time in getting to the meet and greet part so that I had an idea of the person and knew we had some common ground, but now, I like to meet within a week or two at most. If they arent interested in meeting in that time frame, I have to assume their wife, girlfriend or partner wont let them out of the house
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 184
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/27/2010 9:26:21 AM

Meet me or STFU. I am wonderful

If STFU is a even an occasional occurence in a man's communications, chances are I wouldn't see him as wonderful. Maybe it's a generational thing.


I don't convince people to like me.

I'm sure that's quite true.



Sorry cmdrfunk - to your credit your profile already shares a lot of your personality and is well written so why so defensive about at least a little communication before meeting?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 185
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/27/2010 9:51:11 AM


No exchange of ideas. No intellectual conversation. No meeting of the minds.



Which you can do none of that until you actually meet, What someone says in a message tells me nothing about them accept for facts about them, It doesn't give an idea of what they are really like or what there personality is like and it doesn't tell whether our personalities click.


To the contrary: I'd say it was likely the *only* time it is likely to happen. After meeting, the o'l pheromones and hormones take over, and the jig is up. My second marriage was based on that, and he can still floor me just by walking in the room. But he can't think, is impulsive, and cheats. So much for hormones. Try reading some of the books of Civil War letters and see how much you can discover about a person with *only* words. . . .

 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 186
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/27/2010 10:41:33 AM
People rush into meeting their fish because the longer you wait, the more likely another fish will come along and steal yours. It happens all the time. Most of the time, people don't even know it. Then they start threads about why their fish disappeared or became uninterested all of a sudden.
 Sensibly Sweet
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 187
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/27/2010 10:45:38 AM
I've gotta admit... I dont rush out and meet a lot of folks off of here.

Sometimes I'll talk the person is actually as really decent person but for some reason, even when I talk to them, I just dont' feel it.

Other times, it seems to go really well and before I know it I'm talking on the phone and making plans to meet them.

I used to take more time talking to people .... I would find the ones that wanted to meet me right away a little scary at times. Now I go with the guts.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 189
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:35:49 AM
I have no issue meeting a man after about 3 emails. But if I ask him certain questions, I WANT them answered as they are usually deal breakers. I don't like having "chats" online, but I want answers to those questions.

For instance, recently I was corresponding with a man on here. 2 emails and then I had to go out of town emergency. So I responded and asked him some questions. One question was about religion as he has posted he was catholic so I was interested in knowing what level of religiousness he was at. Depending on his response, I may not be interested. He totally ignored all the questions and just gave me his number.

NO NO NO. I then responded and politely asked him to answer the questions - to which he responded there were no questions.

So, not only does he win the avoidance award, but he also wins the stupid award in my book. He has not deleted my messages so the one before that is there.

If he had answered that question, I would be keen on meeting that very day.

If someone asks me a question, I answer it. I was the one who asked him for his number and I also expressed my interest.

This is what happens to me often. Frankly, I don't ask about the children and religion thing because I want to dilly dally.

Plus, it is slightly different than in person because in person you don't have the chance to ask these questions first.

It usually takes me about 3 emails before I meet someone. If a man responds to the questions, then we good to go. If he doesn't, I have to wonder about his attention span in the first place. Online we have the chance to rule out some important factors. If it can be done within 3 emails within 1-2 days.......
 SBM4U2
Joined: 12/22/2009
Msg: 190
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 1:56:26 PM
Why waste months and months emailing? People treat online dating strange. I mean, if you were in a club and met a stranger, gave him your number and talked to him once on the phone it would be ok to go out with him.

Not that I mind or end emails after meeting, but if I'm exchanging emails and I keep getting blown off for meeting I start to wonder (1) is this a guy posing as a woman (2) is this a kid posing as an adult (3) does this woman feel that there is an interest there?
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 192
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 4:58:22 PM
Wildk, your just wasting your time. This group falls into 2 categories, those that will, those that won't. You will never convince them otherwise, I've tried to show that for 5 pages. Some get it, half don't, the ones who don't shouldn't online date.

Yours is the perfect example, I have a few similar stories, and no longer continue past 10 emails, 5 phone calls in 2 weeks. If by then, they are not secure enough to meet, in a public place of their choosing, at a time of their choosing, I just give up and move on.

I have had a few nasty emails after the fact. You know the "your just a player" or "I just need more time" or any of the other things about how unfair, your rushing me, and all the rest. I just chaulk it up to either email entertainment or enriching their egos.

I'm here to date, to find someone and leave POF. I'm not interested in people who are scared, insecure or just want a chat buddy. It is patently unfair, for a man or woman, to invest time and in some cases feelings to some degree, only to find out that it was a cyber apparition. So make your time line, how long your willing to go without a meet, how much work you will put in and stay right there.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 193
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:28:56 PM
Because, if I don't enter my salary soon, I will be barred from contacting the "income-challenged."
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 194
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 5:51:57 PM

Yours is the perfect example, I have a few similar stories, and no longer continue past 10 emails, 5 phone calls in 2 weeks. If by then, they are not secure enough to meet, in a public place of their choosing, at a time of their choosing, I just give up and move on.



So Mr Evil - you and I have emailed about 3 times - so 7 seven more and you're coming to Michigan, right?


I'm here to date, to find someone and leave POF.


Sounds like a good plan to me. Should I send out the wedding invitations?
 mr.evil
Joined: 11/14/2009
Msg: 195
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:26:16 PM
Hey, you never know!! BUT the weather in Michigan will require a LOT of heat to get me up there!!!!!
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 196
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:02:56 PM

Hey, you never know!! BUT the weather in Michigan will require a LOT of heat to get me up there!!!!!


Well I am a redhead, but I'm afraid I can't melt the ice outside with wishful thinking alone.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 197
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:29:39 PM
I advocate for meeting asap.

If I meet a girl online and she won't meet me within two weeks, WITHOUT a friend, I move on. The only exception is if I am moving soon or she is.

Why? Because I don't care for timid little mice. Women who meet a guy in a bar or club, give out a number, and meet that guy for a date later are taking a much larger risk than talking to a man for 2 weeks online. You have a lot more time to get to know what sort of person you're dealing with then.

I am a grown man. I don't go on dates with a girl and her friend like I am 14 again. Screw. That.

Then again, I am 27. The internet is not a new, scary thing for me. I can and have had voicechat conversations with girls I've met online using a webcam and a mic.

I think a lot of this issue boils down to generation. I have pretty female friends who have been meeting men online since they were in highschool. That is just how they date. If you meet in a public place and aren't completely brain-dead, the safety issue is not any more of an issue than if you meet someone in person at a grocery store.

You can't live your life governed by fear. A coward dies a thousand deaths.

-8sf8
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 198
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:31:55 AM
imo, it's a happy meeting in when to meet. If you meet someone here and have a good re pour, then say depending on distance,I say to meet no more then 2 to 3 weeks.

I found the one's who don't like that either they are here just for booster shots or
recovering and still healing from past ventures. I'm a good listener but not a Internet therapist! lol

It would be nice if they just said their here just for talk,instead of looking to date,long term stuff, etc.

Yet,I have met some lovely people here and it show in their speech,character, and beauty. They are a true blessing to me and the fora...
 A Moment in Time
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 199
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:40:41 AM
I think that if you meet right away it is a good thing, this way you don't spend a lot of time talking with someone and envisioning how they are only to find that there is no chemistry and it isn't going anywhere.

You don't need to bring anyone with you, just meet in a public place - a donut shop for a coffee is a good place, bring your own vehicle this way you meet, have a coffee check each other out and then it is short and sweet and if you do decide you want to continue the date you can always go somewhere else, if it doesn't work out then you go your own separate ways. Bringing someone else on the date is not necessary and I wouldn't want someone to do that to me.
 EddRook
Joined: 1/23/2010
Msg: 200
view profile
History
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:56:11 AM
I don't personally have much interest in sending lots of mails. I'd rather just go and meet someone straight off.

For all the emails that you can send, usually you know within the first ten seconds after meeting someone whether or not you find them attractive enough to want to spend time with. I'd rather mail someone to say 'hey, your profile looks interesting, fancy meeting over a coffee?' than trying to find out about them by emails.
 unfisch
Joined: 11/19/2009
Msg: 201
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 1:15:19 PM
Especially if you like someone or theyre really nice, they wont be online long. The most likely to really be available are those here the shortest, not the longest time.

If youve been online a year, enjoy it. Im guessing your odds of making a match are less than slim. Those Ive met and dated were all here a mere few days.

The others on here were either unwilling to meet or when I did meet them had objectionable qualities they concealed..

If youre here to meet and get involved, you will. If youre here to start a fan club and dabble, you can do that as well..Mostly thats the deal online. Dabblers afraid of getting a life. Thats why theyre here.

When something changes, then the wont be here..

The great joke with the cross symbol, Put this on your profile if you know someone who died looking for a date on POF..Right on.

There is no rush, Its your life. If you want one meet somebody..Otherwise keep emailing. Maybe thats a life too, but not in my book, its not.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 202
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 1:43:51 PM
Unless a man that initiates contact with me comes up with a plan or suggestion for a date or to meet in real life, I have to assume he is not interested in actually dating me.
I have decided I barely have time for a real relationship so I certainly don't have time for a fake one.
I'm just tired of guys who want to go straight from "Hello" to discussing sex, or wanting to drag me to chat on yahooey because they want to send me their pictures. It aint happening.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 203
Why is there a rush to meet people from online chat and e-mails?
Posted: 6/8/2010 3:37:37 PM
What's the rush?I would ask "what's the delay"?. If you are looking for love in your life then why do you want to waste so much time chatting online when you could be getting to know them in person.Why waste time?
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