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 huggablekiss
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 3
Physical attraction verses Sexual attractionPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've never heard of that ever before, that's just f'd.

If I'm physically attracted to someone, it arouses sexual vibes where I want to have sex with him, but if we continue to get to know each other and I find that his personality is not to my liking, then no I would no longer be sexually attracted to him but enjoy his good looks.
 myrgth
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 5
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 3:41:03 PM
Physically attractive = they look good

Sexually attractive = they feel good (make us feel good, heart pound, loins quiver, etc.)

People very in tune with their sexual needs will comprehend that looks are nice to have but have no bearing on what feels good.

A lot of people confuse what looks good with what should feel good. Much like food. It looks appealing, smells appealing so it should taste good.

Depending on what you want most will determine if you go for one or the other but if you are really, really smart you hope and look for both as well as a plethora of other attractants like intellectual, emotional, spiritual, etc. Often people will settle for the attribute they most desire in a mate and short change themselves.

You have can the most skilled technique around and the greatest of all desires to please and odds are you can make it feel good but it will lack that elusive umph if the chemistry isn't there. Much like masturbating with another person as opposed to making love.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 10
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 4:44:14 PM
[qute]But I'm now being told you can be sexually attracted to someone but not physically attracted to them?
Really? I can't be sexually attracted and not physically attractive. That seems like an oxymoron to me.

Techniques and wanting to please each other sexually is a given, but is it possible not to have chemistry in bed?

It's a given? Not always. There are plenty of people that are selfish lovers. Is it possible to NOT have chemistry in bed? Of course. I've ran into that more than once. JMO
 CommonSensible
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 11
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:00:09 PM
I'm not sure if what I'm about to say fits your question exactly.. but I'll try.

I have been VISUALLY attracted to a woman where the eventual sexual attraction disappeared once I was either intimate with her.. and in some cases only spoken to her.

That initial "visual" attraction WAS a sexual one.. since humans ARE initially attracted to a person from looks.

However the ones who talked their way OUT of my interest were so off in LALA land or just plain crazy that it was better than the ANTI-viagra. Just didnt want to go there.

Then there were the ones who managed to NOT talk me out of my interest, but once in bed were almost as lively as a statue. I mean totally lifeless and unwilling to learn MY body as much as I wanted to learn hers.

That killed it for me cause as VISUALLY sexy both clothed and naked they were, the "sexual attraction" towards them died when I found we just werent that compatible when naked.

Hope that makes sense.
 Jeeney
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 14
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 5:54:32 PM
I spose it could be different. I think if you're physically attracted to them, you like how they look, the aura that they give, that they're pretty, or have a nice body. I would think that if you're physically attracted to someone, that your arousal senses become aware of that.

I spose it could be separate though, especially if for some reason, you cannot have sex.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 17
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 7:10:48 PM
For me there is a difference.
I know a man.....most wouldn't consider him handsome. Definately not someone
that gets double takes when a woman walks passed him.
But the man has a sex appeal to him.
It's the sly smile, the glint in his eyes, the confindence he exudes, the smooth way he says "darlin", the way he moves when he dances...all of it adds up to some serious sexual attraction for me.

and then there is another man......just flat out good looking.
Tall, dark, black hair with a touch of silver, beautiful bedroom brown eyes with eyelashes to die for, looks damn good in a pair of button fly jeans.
And as soon as he opens up his racial spewing hatred filled mouth......any sexual thoughts fly right out of my head!

Guess you can tell I firmly believe "sexy" comes from within.....and is not
based on a "look".
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 19
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/13/2010 8:01:21 PM
I've had some of the most unsatisfying sex with EXTREMELY attractive men. I've had some of the best, most prolific and strongest Os ever with men who were much older or below average in the looks department. It's a strange illusion people cling to that beautiful people = better sex. Many people are chasing that ambiguous enigma called chemistry, when really all it is, is what you tell yourself about the other person. If you focus on nothing but features and body parts don't be surprised when you step out of the fog in the near future that the person wasn't compatible with you in any way. As much as it makes the emotionally immature squirm and squeamish, there are many ugly people in the world that have great sex lives.
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 25
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/14/2010 12:51:43 AM
I believe the two terms physical and sexual attraction can often be synonymous. However, the personality should also be there to add to the spark. Of course, there needs to be a physical attraction to a degree first. But I've been with a woman who was a 9 on a scale of 1-10 physically, but she wasn't as adept in the bedroom as a few who were a 6 or 7.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/14/2010 6:49:03 AM

But I've been with a woman who was a 9 on a scale of 1-10 physically, but she wasn't as adept in the bedroom as a few who were a 6 or 7


Did you call in a panel of judges or was that the rating YOU gave them? What if their rack is a 9 but their face is a 5? Do you go with 6 or 7? What if they're crazier than they are pretty? Do you just go by shoe size? I'm just wondering if the whole rating woman based on body parts is an exact science so I know how I rate today. Not sure how I can go on living if I don't qualify for at least a 5.
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 27
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 1/14/2010 7:05:51 AM
I was referring to the total package, face and body. The degree of craziness and shoe size did not come into play, lol.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 37
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 3/26/2010 6:23:32 PM

When it comes to physical contact there has to be real interaction and chemistry, or I just shut down. I can definitely work up a horny buzz for a few minutes though. ;-)


I have a nice leather furlined blindfold. Once a man puts that on me, as long as he smells good, it's ALL good. Works like a charm. Now if HE needs a blindfold as well it could get tricky.
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 42
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 3/26/2010 8:27:07 PM
I believe that physical and sexual attraction are synonymous. The first impression with the physical attraction can exude sexual attraction. Of course, the sex can go dowhill if there's personality issues even if she's drop dead gorgeous, but on the flip side, there's times when she can be average looking and the sex can be better.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 49
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 3/26/2010 10:08:05 PM
what makes a man fuchkable? hmmmm? versus is there a good looking man in the room? duh~
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 51
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 3/27/2010 4:29:04 AM
Sexual attraction and physical attyraction...leave it to a woman to seperate and complicate the two.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 53
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 3/27/2010 9:43:51 AM

I don't necessarily agree with this. I’ve been in a situation where I've found myself attracted to someone sexually whom i wouldn't normally find attractive, I'm convinced it was something about his voice, and the way he used his eyes...just can't seem to put my finger on it.


I met someone like that yesterday through facebook. He had lots of pics and I have done the online chat thing with him a few times over the past couple of months. Looking at his pics, he looks pretty average. After meeting him in person. his voice, his mannerisms, his confidence, his extensive education and being very articulate, the way talks to me, - all of those things combined make him very attractive to me. I can very easily open my mind to someone who seems unlikely when they treat me the way I like to be treated.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 57
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 3:09:30 PM
I thought about your question and indeed did come up with the fact that I do find some women ( and even some MEN) physically attractive but NOT sexually attractive. Yeah it's true. I just never thought about it like that.
I can find a man physically attractive intellectually , like "Yeah he's good looking" but having a sex thing does not cross my mind. I can find certain women physically attractive, but maybe other things about her might make the sex thing a no go too.
So yeah I guess the two can be separate sometimes. But mostly for me they seem to go together.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 58
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 3:14:00 PM
About 20 years ago I visited with some Arabic friends one night. There were some older women in the group who I would say were not at all physically attractive, but oh my, when these women danced! Suddenly they were these awesome sexual beings; the way they moved their hips, arms and hands was stunning. It really had an impact on 30-something me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 60
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 3:58:54 PM

I'm curious to learn what are your thoughts on the differences between being physically attracted to someone verses sexually attracted. Up until recently, I thought both are the same or at least if you are physically attracted to someone, you are also sexually attracted to them. But I'm now being told you can be sexually attracted to someone but not physically attracted to them? Techniques and wanting to please each other sexually is a given, but is it possible not to have chemistry in bed?

I can only answer for my own self, but there is a HUGE difference (again ~~~ for me) in physical attraction and sexual chemistry. (And NO, it's not a given that ALL people want to please one another.) I was more than physically attracted to my ex-husband. That did not mean we were sexually compatible. I was young, not comfortable in my own sexuality at that time and settled for, what I now know, was routine/dull/lifeless sex. In the past ten years, I have been physically attracted to plenty of men, but have felt sexual chemistry with only a itsy-tiny percentage of those people. How to define the difference in words? I can't. It's either there or it isn't. JMO
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 62
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 5:43:17 PM
Well, the word usage is entirely subjective, so SOME folks will demand that physical and sexual attraction are identical, others will insist they are separate, or at least differentiable facets of a single sense of another person.

Someone else recently put up a post about sensuality, and that's related to this. There are plenty of women who, if I am asked, I would honestly report are BEAUTIFUL, but who I am nevertheless not in the least attracted to. There are women who, in a still photo, might appear to be near twins, and ONE I might find boring, while the other I might find to be alluring to the point of near insanity.

I came up with a term I use for someone I am INEXPLICABLY sexually attracted to (someone who is NOT my type at all, but who I nevertheless find myself responding to), or to explain (through the LACK of this characteristic) why DESPITE their being physically perfect, that I AM NOT attracted to them. That term is: MUNCHABILITY FACTOR (because I notice myself clenching my teeth when I am subject to it! Ummagumma!). To me, it is THIS quality that is the difference between physical, and sexual attraction.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 63
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 5:51:29 PM
i don't see a difference between physical attraction and sexual attraction. now physical APPRECIATION - there i can find a difference, since there are plenty of women out there with knockout faces and bodies who i wouldn't screw with my worst enemy's d|ck, thanks to their personalities.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/22/2010 6:42:37 PM

Far as i'm concerned... Physical attraction IS sexual attraction.


Totally agree. Most women won't admit to it, but that's what women are looking for in a sex partner too. It's no different. Women mask wanting physical attraction by saying such things as: "Must have sense of humor, high moral values, a zest for life, blah, blah, blah. Yet every woman's profile says: "Must have picture. Will not contact without picture." What's up with that, if they're only interested in a guy's personality and nothing else?
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 67
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Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/24/2010 11:15:35 PM
I suspect that the post refers to those times when we are surprised because we find ourselves attracted to someone that is not necessarily attractive per se, or not the type of looks that we normally find that we like. Could be immediate, wow he's hot but why do I think he's hot because he really isn't all that attractive. Or as others have noted, an attractive person can become ugly quickly if they have a horrid personality while the marginally attractive can transform pretty quickly into gorgeous when the person inside is great.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 68
Physical attraction verses Sexual attraction
Posted: 9/23/2013 3:09:25 PM
wow he's hot but why do I think he's hot because he really isn't all that attractive

I know where you're coming from, but I don't agree with that statement at all. If *YOU* feel he's hot, YOU are definitely attracted to him.

I can look at a girl and think/say, "I can see how she is seen as hot, she's out of my league, she has attractive attributes, but *I* am not that attracted to her." I think there's an objective view/assessment, then a personal one. They usually tend to be not too far apart, but they can be solidly apart sometimes.

There are certain traits in a man that make me want him sexually and they are not at all connected to physical attractiveness, its the way he moves, the way he talks, the way he looks at me, smells and more things

The way he moves is physical. His facial expressions are too. His height. His build. His style. His swagger. One could argue smell (it's a physical thing although not visual; more an indirect thing). I think what you mean are the basics that we tend to gauge as "physical" (butt, shoulders, face, smile, eyes, shape-of-body).

I agree with many posters here that if your physical attracted to somebody then MOST of the time you will be sexually attrated too. But imo not always!

If you're physically attracted to him, you're sexually attracted to him. You may not be that into him due to him not having those "other" features that will make you "want him", true. He could be doable-but-not-datable, so to speak. But if you're physically attracted, you're sexually attracted. Physical attraction is a type/flavor of sexual attraction.

Sexual attraction doesn't require the desire to actually have s-e-x with that person. There can be (negative) factors that would turn you away from wanting to cross that base path. But you're still sexually attracted to them... like the crush I had on a girl when I was in early elementary school. I wanted to kiss her and hold her -- but her her genitals would have icked me out! But I was sexUALLY attracted to her!
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