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 electric-gypsy
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 32
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Attraction - is this how it works ?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I agree with the other posters... aesthetics are subjective. Everyone, at some point, has been considered attractive or unattractive to someone else. I'm probably the only person in the world who thinks Angelina Jolie and George Clooney are a pair of munters. Gimme a lanky, long-haired, tattooed, grungey guitar god any day of the week. There's no accounting for taste.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 33
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 1/26/2010 6:02:11 AM


"Biggest load of tosh, 'women are attracted to a mans personality first"

nope i disagree totally! when i was looking on here before i got disgruntled and stopped i would talk to ladies and they would realy like me, then once they seen a pic of me the go quiet or say im not their type.

i also spoken especially to those who said the same or other words similar to "im open minded, looks are not everything" etc, so you might be the odd few of us who really dont look for looks first but 98% of the rest do...

and to note 95% of stastics are made up ;)


I disagree, with your disagree......

There's a ton of pressure on guys now to be gym rats with short hair and fake tan.
I'd say that guys feel more pressure to be a certain way than women do these days.

And if personality comes first then why have I gone from 5-10 messages a month to just 2 in 3 months, since quitting the gym due to injury and then growing long hair?????
My personality has not changed at all!!!!!

So to say that personality matter first is a load of rubbish!
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 35
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:48:46 AM
I agree with the posters who say what is attractive to one person is unattractive to another.

The most attractive guy I have ever gone out with was ideally too short and had several teeth missing but he had the sexiest blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled and a georgeous bum and a wonderful caring personality and a similar intellect to me.

Some people would say he was ugly, but not to me he wasn't. For me he just had the wow factor.

Trouble with finding someone on the internet is that where looks are concerned it can be deceiving. Picuture taken badly, can't see the sparkle in peoples eyes, we only get to see half the picture so I guess there is more tendancy to focus on basics ie the stereotypical image of what's meant to be good looking.

To be objective about looks, you need to see the whole picture not the snapshot
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 36
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 2:58:44 AM
I wasn't saying that's what all women want, although a large number of them "prefer" that (with a lot of help from TV and the Media).

But the pressure is still there, there's been a massive increase in steroid abuse over the past 10 years, coinciding with the surge of guys joining gyms around the country.

I watched a guy have a massive heart attack in the gym, he was around my age now. There nothing anyone could do, his internal organs were f**cked from years of steroid abuse.
Why do that to yourself?

IF it really was what all women wanted, then i'd rather stay single.... I'd keep my DNA out of the already diluted gene pool and let the human race wipe itself out.... One way or another. We are already the most self destructive species on the planet.

So essentially I say, f**k what other people want or expect... Be yourself and be happy.
 Jaybee2010
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 37
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 4:51:19 AM
There are different levels and types of attraction.

Some are purely physical, some intellectual, some emotional.

You can be attracted to a person in one of those ways, but not another. Doesn't make you a bad person; it's just how it goes. If it's only physical you probably have sex, if it's intellectual or emotional only you become friends and that's all.

For a romantic relationship to work you almost certainly need all three.

But attractions can change over time.


And let's not take the wallet/bank balance out of the equation.

How many super models/WAGS, etc. are with the most unattractive of men? And maybe some of them do have amazing personalities................. but I'm sure if a lot of these men weren't rich and famous and had their profile on POF they wouldn't get a look in.

Somebody mentioned Peter Stringfellow, I will add to that Ronnie Wood, Mick Jagger, Peter Crouch (and LOTS of other famous football players), Flavio Briatore, etc.

I won't put comedians like Marty Feldman or Rowan Atkinson because they probably have great personalities and at least would make you laugh!

Of course this is just my personal opinion and other women on here may think these men are gorgeous....... as keeps being said on here "Beauty REALLY is in the eye of the beholder" it would be a sad old world if we were all attracted to the same type.......
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 38
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/11/2010 8:21:39 AM
depends what your defintion of ugly really is, looks fade its personality that counts,,

old adage still applies one mans much is another mans brass...

i know of people classed as beautiful, but if i was washed up on desert island with only them for company i would take up cannibalism, and then go look for tree stump to chat with
 Jaybee2010
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 42
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 2/12/2010 4:30:34 AM

I personally don't see how you can reveal your personality in a few words. I can realistcally type whatever I want into my profile and structure it in a such a way so that I can aim it at a specific woman - doesn't mean I'm anything like what I've written.


What about that well known dating site being advertised on the TV at the moment that matches you with somebody based on their Compatibility Matching System® (copied and pasted from the site).

Do you think this would be a better way to connect with somebody rather than a site like this where as the previous poster said "it's all about the photo."
 *rem*
Joined: 11/5/2008
Msg: 55
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/1/2012 4:22:41 PM

no one seems to be " floating my boat " or am i to "fussy"


Throw a few more adjectives and we'll tell you where to stop.
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 70
Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/2/2012 9:18:59 AM

I practice something called synthanisia, its where you bring ladies on hynotic sensual journeys through touch, words and visualisations to create amazing experiences ;-)

& I would imagine that their next "practice", would be 'voluntary euthanasia'....>?
Your post just made a little bit of sick come up, in my mouth.....
 Marquis_de_Michaelmas
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 71
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/2/2012 9:19:56 AM
I thought it was all about beer and boobs?
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 83
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 5/10/2012 10:34:40 PM
Well of course being a bit of a mutt does`nt help, but, those who are shall we say, less than "drop dead gorgeous/handsome" who also suffer low self esteem suffer worst i think, i dont refer to myself as a mutt due to any low self esteem, i`m simply stating a physical fact due to past medical issues as stated on my profile, but, my confidence is pretty good , that said, i dont automatically look at the less attractive women because of this, and past partners have varied between "quite pretty" to ( to me) bloody gorgeous"

so i think confidence and esteem ( or lack of ) can create a far bigger obstacle than looks. :O)
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 95
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 5/11/2012 5:24:57 AM
The more people i meet, the more i find it hard to pin down exactly what does attract me. I am comming around to lusiphers way of thinking.

I do most certainly, like most others have a some basic ideas about what i like and dislike in other people that i want in my life but there are times those tick boxes just go right out of the window.
I have never had massive expectations on looks and body etc but it still is a factor on first glance. Equally i have dated women that are stunning to look at, intimidatingly so, and yet after a few hours with them there is nothing there, i could net even give a FB or FWB relationship a thought let alone anything more. The there have been women whose looks are not their strong point but i have been completely bowled over by their personalty and loved being around them and found them to be very attractive and a turn on.

Attraction has so many levels and manifests in so many ways i have given up trying to understand it, and instead to go along with it.
These days all i do is look for some kind if connection and explore it until it either fades away or evolves into something more. Sooner or later one of those connections will be the last one i ever make.....wont it?
 013552
Joined: 3/14/2009
Msg: 100
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/28/2013 7:02:27 AM
i've met females who are gorgeous looking, and very intelligent, also met attractive ones, who are equivalent of
airheads whose best friend looks back at them from mirrored glass,

also met women who make me laugh out loud with there sense of humor, yet people turn away from there
as there not societys ideal figures
 icarusi
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 101
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/28/2013 3:36:04 PM
I've always been attracted to beautiful women since the age of 2. Quite a few of my aunts and some neighbours were very attractive with long dark hair. Later I liked redheads, then a few blonds, then I liked the way a woman moved, then the way they laughed. Now it's bird-like features, large eyes and pointy noses............what was the original question? I wouldn't be attracted to someone who didn't look moderately fit (not necessarily being fit). Just looks like they're not in control or don't care.

Most couples I see seem matched, but I do see the odd seemingly major mismatch which has me wondering what else the lesser looking partner has that I'm not seeing. I also know some couples who started matched but one half has let themselves go, big time!
 matt e
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 102
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 4/29/2013 3:29:14 PM

Most couples I see seem matched, but I do see the odd seemingly major mismatch which has me wondering what else the lesser looking partner has that I'm not seeing. I also know some couples who started matched but one half has let themselves go, big time!


If I see a couple who aren't matched looks wise I usually think they probably didnt meet online.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 104
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Attraction - is this how it works ?
Posted: 5/1/2013 3:33:04 PM
We are so bombarded with media images of perfect looking people that this is what many people find attractive regardless of what we look like ourselves. And so if everyone finds attractive people the most appealing, does this mean that the less attractive you are the less chance you have of finding a partner to whom you are actually attracted.

In other words does an ugly man have to settle for an ugly woman even though he doesn't fancy her ?

And does this mean that less attractive people are missing out on something that attractive people take for granted, that wonderful feeling of being with someone you are so attracted to ?

Dating seems like a right bummer for ugly feckers?
But it must be much worse for those who had it all then lost it and are in denial?
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