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 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 385
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 10 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)

^^^And this is why I you. There are those (here in this particular thread) that bash and trash those that (they think) have had too many partners. Then they hook-up with one of those ladies ~ justifying why (in order to maintain their moral judgment without including their own self in that judgment) continue on talking about the lack of sexual prowess, etc., all the while still bonking 'em at home. That just makes absolutely NO sense to me personally. At least you accept her for who she is ~ not that which others here would like to read about. JMO


AWW THANKS!

Funny thing is that the two guys she's been with since we've been BF/GF have both indicated they were only interested in one thing in the past yet now that we're together and she made it clear that SHE didn't want anything else...now they're pining for her! ...well they were.... she shut them down when she said it could have been regular... until they pulled that bs.
 niagara45
Joined: 8/15/2010
Msg: 387
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 12/8/2010 6:26:58 PM

Ummm If she was all that great, then why is she an Ex? And for that matter, if she was all that great, why didn't any of those 40 other guys want her enough to stay with her?


Who says none of them did? Just because a woman may have a high number of sex partners, that doesn't mean she never breaks up with anyone!
 candles on
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 390
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2011 10:56:56 AM
Oh dear dear dear Hugo!
First off, you said you met her a few years ago, why did you just have this conversation last night? If your feelings are as you have written, it sounds like you should have had this conversation prior to having intimate relations!
Without offending you , I hope, many of your thoughts sound like low self esteem. You are screaming out that you think you don't measure up! She is with you isn't she? That is her choice, not yours, hers!
I believe that there is something to say about the past remaining in the past, there was life before Hugo.
 Gordian_Knot
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 391
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History
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2011 5:59:09 PM
This is a discussion you should never ask, not unless you are perfectly comfortable with hearing a "body count" that's astronomical. You might get one if you do choose to ask, but always expect the worst.

It isn't important where someone's been, as long as they are here now.
 Gordian_Knot
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 392
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History
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2011 6:01:42 PM
you should never have*


Pardon my English.
 Welsh474
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 394
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/17/2011 7:52:11 PM
I have never asked a man "so, how many women have you slept with" and I would never answer that same question asked of me. And I think that anyone who does ask that question is an idiot. We all come with a past of some sort whether it was 5 guys we dated or 25. I'm pretty sure most of us can figure out whether you're dating the town punching board or an ex hooker. I know that if I meet anyone over 40 that chances are they are not a virgin.

And why is it important?
 heynow63
Joined: 12/21/2010
Msg: 395
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 2/28/2011 11:13:02 AM
I will not be harsh on you because I can relate. My wife has been with around 100 guys before me, like 95 casual partners or one nighters. I knew many of them. I know how they talked about "sl@ts" as they would call them. It only bothers me because I know most guys look down on "easy" women and I know they know my wife was one.
It hurts and it "shouldnt" bother me but it does. I guess I am an evil selfish person as well.
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 396
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History
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 2/28/2011 12:01:00 PM
"There is no such thing as a slut, just a good sport!"
My girlfriends brothers comment (which I find endearing and funnier than hell) when he overheard her ask their mom what a sl*t was. Though she didn't know the term, she felt awful when a classmate called her this.
I'd dump you if I were her...really. There is no excuse for a double standard!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 397
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 2:02:10 PM
Maybe she's been shy with you because you mean something to her and those other 14(?) guys she's been with were just a fun romp

It sounds as though you trust her and feel happy with her, so ask yourself what more you want... if her past is something you can't get over, then talk honestly with her and part ways; you both deserve to proceed with a clear knowledge of what you (both) want for the future
 DebiDuzDishes
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 398
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 2:11:05 PM
Help!!.. I've had sex with 8 men.. and now no one will want me..

sorry.. hadda say it.

I know 28 yr old women who have had a gizillion more than that!!

You just need to STOP discussing her past.

Keep wearing condoms unless you feel serious with her.. AND get tested first!!

serious, because.. the pill is NOT infallable!! NEVER have sex with out a condom unless you can face the consequences!
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 399
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 3:12:25 PM
Why on earth would you ask a question that you really did NOT want the answer to???
That was stupid as hell!!
2nd mistake.... You NEVER ask a woman to compare sex with you to other men (never ever ever). Same goes for women asking a man about their past sexual partners!!!

A past ..... it's called that for a reason.

So, if 8 is to many for a 28 year old woman, whats the limit for a 42 year old??
Shyt...... I think I might be in serious trouble...
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 400
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 3:20:35 PM
I am thinking that her life before you, was just that her life.

If you want to set down some rules now that you are together, go right ahead.

Asking a woman if you are the best, is really not the best way to find out if you are pleasing her. I am assuming that, this is why you are asking, if not your being suspicious and looking for amunition and this will come back to bite you in the arse.

YOu should ask her if she is content or has some extra wishes she would like to explore.

As far as whether or not it is safe to have sex with her without a condom here are the things to think about:
If you trust that she is not sleeping around, then by all means get tested for all the majors and if you are both clean, then I see no reason to continue with the jacket.

If you are not sure of your trust for her I would protect yourself, she may be telling you in a round about way...that she misses her pills sometimes or that she hasn't been tested and does not know if she is okay.
As far as pregnancy if she is responsible enough to take the pill everyday you shouldn't need a back up plan.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 401
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 2/28/2011 3:22:22 PM

I knew many of them. I know how they talked about "sl@ts" as they would call them. It only bothers me because I know most guys look down on "easy" women and I know they know my wife was one.

That says more about them than it does about your wife. If they had sex with her, they are just being hypocrites by not judging themselves by the same standard thay apply to your wife.

It hurts and it "shouldnt" bother me but it does. I guess I am an evil selfish person as well.

No, you're just putting the opinions of others about your wife above your own opinion of her, even though your wife oviously didn't marry them.
 RockyMountainThunder
Joined: 12/2/2010
Msg: 402
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 3:26:27 PM

So, if 8 is to many for a 28 year old woman, whats the limit for a 42 year old??



7800....which is one a day for 26 years ( I will start at 16) ......minus days off for routine maintenance
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 403
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 3:37:39 PM
Every time this thread comes up I still shake my head..wow
I have to laugh at these insecure men who b1tches "oh my Girlfriend been with too many men blah blah blah", good lord.

Get a life, she had a life before you and she will have a life after you when she kicks you to the curb.

Its amazing though, these losers wants to marry the virgin mean while they are phucking every thing that wears a skirt but it doesnt count right?
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 406
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 4:05:57 PM
Thanks RockymountainTHunder.... with that kind of number I think I'm pretty safe.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 407
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 4:12:13 PM

But what if the guy hadn't phucked everything..? Maybe the guy didn't boink everything that moved and only had sex in serious long term relationships... Everybody is entitled to their own view of what matters to THEM... I have buddies who have only been with a couple of women all their lives... married and or long term right from the get go... They don't want a woman who has entertained a large number of guys...


Exactly! .... Her number is more than mine , the deal is off... Like in everything else, compatibility is the most important thing here.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 408
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 2/28/2011 4:40:05 PM

But if a former alcoholic didn't want to be around drinkers and/or had a poor opinion of drinkers, we'd never accuse him of being a hypocrite.

I would. I think it's fine for alcoholic to avoid drinkers if being around them threatens his own sobriety, but that's as far as it goes.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 409
view profile
History
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 2/28/2011 5:27:47 PM
I'll second Abelian on that. I'd extend it to anyone who looks down on someone who has not yet stopped being what said person used to be. Recovering from, or ceasing to do something, in no way makes a person superior to another person. By all rights, if one believes in looking down one's nose at someone who has not changed when you have, would require that one despise one SELF, at least for the entire portion of the life that came before the change.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 414
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 2/28/2011 10:32:11 PM
^^^^^^^ I suppose it all depends on WHY they had sex, WHO they had sex with and the quality of sex.

Someone having lots if sex because they were pushed isn't gonna feel as good about sex as someone who had lots of sex because they wanted to.... likewise someone having lots OS sex because they wanted to but were hoping that is was some kind of exchange might become jaded with sex.

That's why I like women who know the difference, like sex for sex sake, don't use it for anything but pleasure and know the difference between having sex and making love.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 415
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/1/2011 5:24:05 AM

On the flip side, I know women who have become jaded with sex... seen it, done it so many times with so many guys that it means very little to them now....

You seem to know a lot of people with unhealthy attitudes toward sex. There's a common theme there - you.
 RockyMountainThunder
Joined: 12/2/2010
Msg: 419
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/1/2011 10:45:19 AM

Yes, I think you should let her go. For her sake, please, let her go.




Guy acts like he is buying used tires
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 420
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/1/2011 10:56:44 AM
I've never asked this of anyone and I wouldn't answer if someone
should ask me.
Not that I've been with a cajillion people, I'd just figure that unless
he had a wicked good reason WHY he needed to know, it just wouldn't
be his business.
Trying to think of a wicked good reason why he might want to know and
it hasn't come to me yet.

But I'll think on it.

 Whatisnewwithyou
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 421
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/1/2011 10:57:04 AM
"Guy acts like he is buying used tires."


That is hilarious^^

When someone asks this question it means that they are trying to find something wrong with their match, to provide proof of their insecurities about their match. Which means they should not be dating them in the first place. If it bothers one so much then one should move on.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 424
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History
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/1/2011 12:37:25 PM
I suppose this can be turned around, as well. If you think a woman has had too many partners, then it's quite possible she could have the same judgment about a man.

And it's entirely possible - even likely, IMO - that an experienced and sexually confident woman would be wary or dismissive of a man who had TOO FEW! Not everyone wants to teach the ignorant, and that's even assuming they have the ability and desire to learn.

Number of past partners - if it even gets asked or answered - is only one factor in deciding if someone is a suitable match, and for me, is less important than many other aspects of character and personality. It would only become important in relation to other information that might give me pause.
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