Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Zikoris
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 499
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 13 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Not really, I've gone all over the place with age, from 18 up to about mid-40s, and some people have definitely had bad habits(in all age categories). All it should take is a "no, I'm not into that and it doesn't do anything for me". Unless you're dealing with a person who doesn't understand the above sentence and keeps doing stuff after you've told them not to... in which case you have bigger problems than sexual compatibility.

If a guy told me "I don't like it when you do X, it's not my thing"... I'd stop doing X! I'm not sure what part of that is complicated or difficult?
 2nd_chance_again
Joined: 12/6/2010
Msg: 500
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/17/2011 10:29:12 AM
It took you 2 yrs to have this conversation, what's wrong with this pic? Most people now days have this talk even b/4 they meet! You know the old saying if you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 501
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/17/2011 10:44:10 AM

My favorite is how everyone has sex on the third date, yet they espouse to know and practice proper testing techniques. If one has had more than one partner within a certain amount of time, they wouldn't be having sex on the 3rd date if they were truly practicing proper test procedures.

This has been my thought many times in forums here. Unless someone has frequent-testing-draws at the local free clinic, like monthly or more, they aren't practicing as safe as they think.

~OT~ His number doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is when his last encounter with someone was (whether monogamous relationship or not) and when his current test results will arrive. Oh, and whether or not he has stock in a latex factory. He's going to need 6 months worth of those and another test before I even consider losing the latex. JMO
 honeycognac
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 503
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/17/2011 12:33:18 PM
I also want to see the paperwork from her. I won't just take her word for it...(and woman should do the same... don't trust the guy to be honest...) and it's got to be at least 3 months since she last slept with anyone... ideally 6 months.


Since the advent of Aids and since I have no faith in condoms


So, does that mean in these days of instant gratification, church, you actually wait 3 - 6 months before having sex with a new partner? That is the only safe was to do it (except HPV is still a crap shoot).


His number doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is when his last encounter with someone was (whether monogamous relationship or not) and when his current test results will arrive. Oh, and whether or not he has stock in a latex factory. He's going to need 6 months worth of those and another test before I even consider losing the latex.


Finally VGE!!! A sane and logical post in this thread.

That's the only way to do safer sex. There is no such thing as safe sex. If people practice risky sex, AND the number is high, you are exposing yourself to higher risk - if the number is lowish, still risky. When I found out how many middle-aged people don't ask for test results and don't use condoms, I was horrified. STD's are growing faster in mid-life people and seniors than in any other segment of the population. I'm always lecturing my single gray-haired friends about this. Do they listen? I doubt it.
 sharptack
Joined: 9/25/2010
Msg: 505
GIRLFRIEND
Posted: 3/24/2011 10:34:14 PM

You don't have to lie. Obviously. Not only don't you lie but you are so proud of your low numbers that you can brag about it on the open forum of an internet dating site. And on top of that, you're not single so the remote censure you might receive from a nun or the Pope or something or other is not a factor.

Burn! Bodypro. Burn!
You tell 'em!
 shadow7057
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 506
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/25/2011 1:01:28 PM
If it is a number that seems high to you, then you should probably break it off. It can be awkward sleeping with a person who has a lot more or a lot less sexual experience then you.

Most people want someone with around the same amount of sexual experience as them, however that number can get pretty high before you realize it isn't the past sexual encounters that matter, its the current ones.. along with the fact that a person is much more than just a sexual object.
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 507
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/25/2011 1:44:30 PM
I was talking to this hawtt guy in the bar last night. When the "number" Topic came up, I watched him write it down on a c0cktail napkin right after I told him. I asked him why he would be so determined to record my number of sex partners?

"Oh," he said ... "I thought it was your phone number!
 REDDRAGON.
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 508
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/25/2011 2:21:39 PM

I was talking to this hawtt guy in the bar last night. When the "number" Topic came up, I watched him write it down on a c0cktail napkin right after I told him. I asked him why he would be so determined to record my number of sex partners?

"Oh," he said ... "I thought it was your phone number!


did the number include the area code?????
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 509
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/26/2011 6:47:32 AM

If it is a number that seems high to you, then you should probably break it off. It can be awkward sleeping with a person who has a lot more or a lot less sexual experience then you.


Really? Why? I like being with people who've had experience with things I haven't--it brings new things into the bedroom that might not have been there with a less experienced partner. More experience with things I haven't tried yet is generally a bonus.

Every time I see this thread title, I always think, "too many for what?!"
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 511
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/26/2011 7:40:38 AM

If it is a number that seems high to you, then you should probably break it off.


laughable...high for who?

If a woman has had 5 sexual partners, and 3 have been one night stands...OR...

A woman has had 10 sexual partners, and 2 have been one night stands...

which way you leaning?

Stop asking women how many men they have been with,
1. she will lie to you
2. she will stretch the truth(doesnt count the guy she banged in the wendys parking lot)
3. whatever the number, its probably too high for you SINCE your asking....

I just dont get it, why do men torture themselves and HAVE to know...it makes no sense to me at all...
 sexyisback!
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 512
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/26/2011 7:42:13 AM

More experience with things I haven't tried yet is generally a bonus.

Perhaps for you... but it might not be a bonus to your partner...
Remember, there have been lots of postings by people who do NOT want a less experienced person... A few have put it essentially that they don't want to 'teach' a new partner and they prefer someone on their level.
So yes, I can see how a mis-match in experiences can be an issue...


not sure why people ALWAYS seem to equate " greater # of partners" with "greater sexual knowledge or experience" ?

I'd bet that someone who has had 10,000 one-night stands and NO Long-term relationships, may well have no better "repertoire" , and perhaps much less, or worse, than someone who has been with ONE person for years, with whom they experimented and tried everything together, maybe because they were extremely comfortable with each other..? or maybe more likely been with 3 or 4 or 5 good lovers..?

IME, (which may be different for others of course) sex only gets better the longer you are with someone as you are more comfortable & more experimental.

The first time is most often not as good as the second, third, tenth, one-hundredth, and so on..

so someone with thousands of notches (one-night stands) I dunno, might have just been 1,000's of awkward fumblings, mostly?

IT also begs the question of why , if they are so awesome at sex, no one partner wanted to keep them around for long, and they went from one, to the next, to the next.

are we to believe that Wilt Chamberlain with his claimed 40,000 partners in his lifetime, must have been one of the best male lovers of all time?

I'm doubting it, probably mostly wham-bam thank you ma'am types, in & out for a few minutes til he blows, in many cases he never even knew their last (or their first) names
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 514
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/27/2011 11:00:42 AM

(sexyisback) not sure why people ALWAYS seem to equate " greater # of partners" with "greater sexual knowledge or experience" ?


Never seen anyone argue the "More partners equals greater (i.e. better) knowledge" (not saying it hasn't happened, just haven't seen it). More partners DOES equal more experience. That experience may or may not be good. "Experience" is a neutral term -- that's what adjectives like ":good" and "bad" are for...

Arlo, Linguistics Cop...
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 516
view profile
History
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/28/2011 3:20:48 PM

I'm probably very much in the minority when I say that in my life time, I've probably slept with about ten men (that includes my ex husband)... I cannot take the hurt of being slept with without the thought that someone deeply cares for me and loves me.


I'm 34 and have slept with 7 men in my lifetime. I've been told that's not much. I thought, for me, it was too much. I wanted to stop at 5. Life doesn't turn out how we want it all the time, though.

I don't judge others for how much sex they have had and how many partners they have had. I won't be sleeping with someone who doesn't have the same feelings about it as I do, though. So it might well be a very long time before I ever find myself with someone again.

I am currently celibate and relationship free for just over 2 years now, save for a couple weeks a year ago when an ex made his way back into my life briefly only for it to fail again, so I don't really let that count, or it might drive me mental. Especially considering the circumstances and how he handled the entire relationship beforehand. Oh well, my standards were significantly lowered and he was a rebound off of a rebound. I blame myself for even allowing him in. I did learn a lot from him, though. I am a lot less naive in many ways and have broadened my perspective on human nature and life. So it wasn't all for naught.
 Nyte2008
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 519
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 2:53:19 AM
Here's a tip.

Number of partners that a woman tells you they've been with, multiply that by 3 for the real number.

Numbe of partners that a man tells you they've been with, divide that by 3 for the real number.

True story, no lie.

Oh, and you've got some insecurity issues budday. If you want a virgin or something close to it, build a time machine and go back to the 1800's or something. This is the 21st century, virginity is a thing of the past, welcome to liberalism.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 520
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 4:51:33 AM
I dunno, at my age I could care less what a woman did in her 20's.
So, ok, she's slept with 200 guys in 20 years, that's less than 10 a year at my age, whatever... especially if most were in her younger "wild years". People change, grow older and (hopefully) wiser and want different things as they get older.

Now, if she'd slept with 200 guys in the past *year*, uhh... *that* might make me question getting into a "relationship" with her, because I'd wonder how many days it would last. I'm looking for a relationship, not to be someone's next 'fling', so what they are like today is more important than what they did 20 years ago.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 521
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 3:41:52 PM

Now, if she'd slept with 200 guys in the past *year*, uhh... *that* might make me question getting into a "relationship" with her, because I'd wonder how many days it would last. I'm looking for a relationship, not to be someone's next 'fling', so what they are like today is more important than what they did 20 years ago.


There is no girl on the FACE OF THE EARTH that would even admit to it. So how in the world would know otherwise?

Even if you were to ask her, she would lie her ass off...

I will never understand why ANY guy would ask a girl "how many men have you slept with"..

no matter the answer, its gonna be bad...just dont get it...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 522
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 7:47:26 PM


There is no girl on the FACE OF THE EARTH that would even admit to it. So how in the world would know otherwise?


I could introduce you to a few...

I know women who are NOT ashamed of their numbers.




Vvvvvv. broncsbuff. vvvvvvvvvv

Totally not true here!
Perhaps its true when they don't trust the man....but when they know you'll not judge them and accept whatever they are into and still value them, they feel safe enough to be honest!

You'd be surprised by the things women tell me! ...because they trust me!
That trust is also why I have no shortage of FWB's too....when they get frustrated....who they gonna call? LOL

 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 523
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 7:50:16 PM
<---is not ashamed of her numbers in the slightest
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 524
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 7:53:16 PM
I know women who are NOT ashamed of their numbers.


any woman who would admit to sleeping with a lot of men to another man....just means she doesnt really like him that much anyway..

seriously...if a woman told me she slept with a lot of men, she is either lying to turn me off, or is telling the truth so I WILL be turned off...


<---is not ashamed of her numbers in the slightest


I wouldnt care, I wouldnt ask. If I like a girl, I like her....PERIOD
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 525
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 7:55:53 PM

any woman who would admit to sleeping with a lot of men to another man....just means she doesnt really like him that much anyway..

seriously...if a woman told me she slept with a lot of men, she is either lying to turn me off, or is telling the truth so I WILL be turned off...


Wait, so if I cared for someone, I would show that by. . . lying to him? I'm sorry, how does this make sense?
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 526
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 8:04:54 PM

Wait, so if I cared for someone, I would show that by. . . lying to him? I'm sorry, how does this make sense?


If I was dating you, and I liked you, I wouldnt ask you anyway. I really dont know why you would volunteer the information....

I refuse to believe a woman just in normal converstion would blurt out ..."oh yea..hey by the way, I just wanted to let you know I used to do gangbangs, I also slept with a total stranger in a bar, plus I shared two boyfriends who DP'D me a lot."...sorry, that doesnt happen...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 527
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 8:04:57 PM
^^^^^^ The point that's being missed is that any woman who has large numbers wouldn't be happy with a guy who would be scared off by them..... The guy that's compatible with a woman that highly charged isn't going to trip or be scared off so there's no reason for her to lie!

....and yes, everything you mentioned DOES happen!
Why? Because she wants the guy to be okay with her past, current and future interests!
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 528
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 8:10:21 PM

going to trip or be scared off so there's no reason for her to lie!


and your missing my point...why would a guy even ask?...what are you getting out of it?

Its not that I am scared of a number, it just doesnt matter to me one way or the other. If I like a girl, I like her...done
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 529
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 8:18:25 PM
I don't know what "too many" means, but I am satisfied with my number; I chose to "have" each one of them, enjoyed them and feel that it's nobody else's business to tell me that my number does not fit their arbitrary quota, too high or too low.

IMO anyone who asks a date "how many" is really looking for an excuse to dump that date sooner or later.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 530
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 8:19:36 PM
They tell and I ask to determine sexual compatibility....
If a girl likes to be gangbanged or DP'd or whatever she's got to know the guy is up for it!

I'm not gonna say here in the forums, but I've heard women come straight out and tell me all kinds of stuff, sometimes before we even met other times on first meet....often after first time having sex.

Still others need to gauge how shocked or judgmental you'll be before divulging this info.....it all depends on how comfortable they are with themselves.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >