Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 532
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 14 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
I was poking a stick through the cage of the guy above me. It sailed over most heads but what the hell? I deleted it for King and country.
Obviously the thread is about insecurity, mostly men and and their insecurities regarding sexual politics.

If a guy posts that he is not insecure like other men because of his low numbers because he could have high numbers if he had wanted to. And so on and so on...

What's that about? That's about he's saying I'm not insecure but you other men are. But he's just lying, that's all.

 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 533
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:13:36 PM

I don't care how many notches you other guys have. I am not insecure about it. You are insecure and I am not. That's why I posted this.


totally off topic, but thanks for your personal life story...

if your a guy and you HAVE to ask a woman how many men she has been with, then ANY number she throws at you is probably gonna be the wrong one...
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 534
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:16:29 PM
^^^^^^bodypo

Who even mentioned being insecure with YOUR numbers?
The recent trend in the topic is addressing whether or not women divulge their numbers. Some say they wouldn't or they'd lie others believe they'd be honest to weed out guys who would be insecure or trip.

...Sorry to disappoint you but no one was even thinking about your numbers, potential to get numbers or why they are what they are.

The thread was started by a guy who is tripping about his girl having too high a number. Nobody is bragging about their numbers here either....

Broncsbuff...

I like to discuss this with women. It has more to do with gauging how openly they discuss sex and how independent they are from societies imposed limits.

I'd rather have a woman who has had 200 lovers because she WANTED to than a woman who had one because she felt she HAD to.
The only way to know is to talk about it.

I personally won't date repressed women anymore.....
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 535
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:23:33 PM

I'm not surprised it was yours. You can read some of my previous posts on this thread if you like. Yes it is sarcasm, but no it is not off topic.


sorry..next time I will sift thru 17 pages of thread to find your topics and find what is being said to you, back to you, your response, bla bla bla, then I will KNOW when your dropping sarcasm...
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 536
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:25:39 PM
No worries. I won't be sarcastic anymore. Not on this thread at any rate.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 537
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/29/2011 9:32:53 PM
[quote[The only way to know is to talk about it.

I am with ya...100%

Its important to know what your partner likes or dislikes, but I dont judge a woman on how many men she has been with. So that leads into...I DONT ASK.

If a woman opens up to me, so be it. I have not problems with that either. We are gonna discuss eventually anyway, the thing is, I dont judge EITHER way...
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 538
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 4:22:44 AM
I like to discuss this with women. It has more to do with gauging how openly they discuss sex and how independent they are from societies imposed limits.

I'd rather have a woman who has had 200 lovers because she WANTED to than a woman who had one because she felt she HAD to.
The only way to know is to talk about it.

I personally won't date repressed women anymore.....

I agree. You'll also notice a lot of inconsistencies in what a number of posters say in different threads, which are essentially variations on the same theme of ``how many partners.'' In a thread that is strictly about partners, many people will say the politically correct. ``The past is the past,'' ``It doesn't matter,'' and ``Don't ask,'' etc., but then you read one of the threads, about dating an (ex-) prostitute, dating a guy who's visited a prostitute and many of the same people would answer those questions with a ``no.'' Lots of people aren't even self-consistent in the same reply. Those who are most emphatic in saying ``It doesn't matter,'' indicate just how much it does matter by their vehement opposition to ever telling anybody the answer to that question or even saying, ``I don't know'' and leaving it up to someone else to infer what that means. Personally, I'd have to wonder about the mental abilities of someone who couldn't at least estimate how many people they'd been with and get it right within +/-10% (unless we're talking about thousands, which would be ok, if that's what a woman told me). (I'm pretty sure I could estimate how many times I've been to a convenience store in the past 20 years and get to within +/-10%.)

In my opinion, if a person really believes it doesn't matter (or at least shouldn't matter), to the person he/she is dating, then talking about past encounters ought to be not much different than talking about where they went on vacations (even with with exes). I agree with you about what does matter and I'll add that I'd also like to know if someone I'm dating is going to tell me the truth about things she thinks I might not want to hear and let me decide if I want to hear it. In this case, I don't really care about anything but knowing she's comfortable with what she's done in her life, including her sex life. I generally don't make negative judgments about people who don't try to bullshit me, regardless of what it is, but trying to bullshit me is the one thing that's unforgivable. It's hard for me to trust someone who hides things from me.


Its important to know what your partner likes or dislikes, but I dont judge a woman on how many men she has been with. So that leads into...I DONT ASK.

If that's the case, then the best way to make that clear is to know the answer and not judge. My best friend is an escort and because she knows I don't judge her negatively for escorting, she's told me more about herself than she's ever told anyone, including family members (and not just about escorting). When a person knows he/she can tell you anything and not be judged negatively for it, that person will be more open about everything with you.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 539
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 6:43:28 AM
Number of partners that a woman tells you they've been with, multiply that by 3 for the real number.

Numbe of partners that a man tells you they've been with, divide that by 3 for the real number.

True story, no lie.


Maybe in your world. In my world, I tell the truth. I have far more important things to worry about than making up stories.


I refuse to believe a woman just in normal converstion would blurt out ..."oh yea..hey by the way, I just wanted to let you know I used to do gangbangs, I also slept with a total stranger in a bar, plus I shared two boyfriends who DP'D me a lot."...sorry, that doesnt happen...


In my world, I bring sex up. I don't volunteer or ask for numbers (every single man I have been with has asked me however), but I do discuss sexual preferences and possible risky behaviours. Most men cannot discuss sex outside of the bedroom and it has been my experience that the ones who did were the best lovers for me.


You'll also notice a lot of inconsistencies in what a number of posters say in different threads,


That behaviour is rampant in these threads.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 540
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 7:29:44 AM
I was wondering....is there a difference between how many men
and how many times? I'm wondering where the line is. What if
someone was in a long term relationship and had sex say 3 or 4
times a week with the same guy and another had sex with 3 different
guys 3 or 4 times a week. The numbers would be the same, only the
guys would be different?

Is this just about how many people you've slept with?
I still maintain (as long as you're free from disease and can prove it)
it's not anyone's business how many times someone else has had sex.

 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 541
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 7:44:54 AM
Obviously there is a difference. The thread isn't about sexual frequency with the same partner, although you could start a dreary, redundant thread about just that and get much the same posturing, mainly from men. Clue: men report very high incidents of sexual activity. Why, they don't even have time for other bodily functions. Women might, depending on what they are trying to broadcast.

Right. Nobodies business, unless both parties agree it is and want to talk about it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 542
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 7:51:35 AM
I sort of thought it was about the number of partners.
Competition and expertise and all that.
Seems silly people would actually keep track of how
many times they had sex. I'd say people who worry about
this (AGAIN, as long as sexually healthy) do indeed need
help.

 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 544
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 11:01:43 AM
I had this pin made up for me. Like the kind you wear pinned to your jacket. It's white with all these shooting stars and this banner flapping in the wind and a red dot and it has the number 50 in gold on it. Of course 50 is some other guys year! Instead of my whole life.

But. What. The. Hell.

But in all seriousness, the first thing I do when I meet a new woman is, "50!" "I beg your pardon?" "50!!" "Say again?" "50! 50! 50!" "You're making me insecure!"


 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 545
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 2:08:43 PM
^^^^^ HUH?^^^^^^
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 546
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 3/30/2011 3:45:11 PM
Hahaha. Never mind. It makes sense to me and my invisible friends. Some women collect men the way men collect women. They are eager to talk about each and every one. Yeah, the one that did that didn't last. Maybe none of them will.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 550
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 7:36:57 PM
Who even mentioned being insecure with YOUR numbers?
The recent trend in the topic is addressing whether or not women divulge their numbers. Some say they wouldn't or they'd lie others believe they'd be honest to weed out guys who would be insecure or trip.

...Sorry to disappoint you but no one was even thinking about your numbers, potential to get numbers or why they are what they are.

The thread was started by a guy who is tripping about his girl having too high a number. Nobody is bragging about their numbers here either....


I really don't get what "numbers" has to do with "the price of tea in china"... I mean, seriously, I'm sure my "number" doesn't "measure up" to maybe some guys here... who friggen cares? Is this a competition? Seriously, "numbers" if anything to me equates more to an inability to actually have a serious long-term relationship and being more concerned with "number of conquests"/"notches on the bedpost" than anything, which to me seems immature if anything.

I'm quite happy with my "numbers", and I don't really *care* what anyone else thinks of them... and quite honestly, if I'm with a woman and we get along, I could really care less what her "numbers" are, she's with me isn't she?

Honestly even debating "numbers" to me seems like "who's d**k is bigger?" nonsense... it doesn't at all matter, as long as *she* is happy with it.
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 551
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 9:22:56 PM
There you go champ, find a lady who doesn't care about sexual attractiveness or magnetism or a big penis and she will be happy and it won't matter. If you don't care maybe you don't need to protest so much.

Oh, one more thing, is this a competition? You wish it wasn't. Whether you are in the market or not. That whole quote you lifted there was a response to something I had sarcastically written to some guy doing much what you are doing which is the duplicity of pretending to rising above it all.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 552
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 9:51:47 PM
That quote two above is mine in response to body pro going off about HIS numbers .....now another guy is taking that quote out of context...... the whole darn thread is about the OP's girlfriend having too high a number guys..... it has nothing to do with guys numbers...... the OT is about a guy being insecure with his GF's high number!
Get over yourselves..... the OP, and any other guy in here could have zero or a thousand.... it doesn't matter...what the question is, is how many is too many for your SO to have?...and why does it matter?

And sorry to disappoint you there NO but I'm not trying to rise above anything...just trying to stay on topic...maybe I missed something... I just saw all off a sudden youre going off about YOUR numbers....
I don't really see how your number or any other guys number has anything to do with whether or not a guy is/will be insecure about his girls number.

My thought is if a girl is somehow not worth being in a relationship with due to her number then you shouldn't be in a relationship with her! You should also refrain from making her number grow though!
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 553
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 10:10:04 PM
And mine was a response to another guys tortured rant about how it doesn't matter. If it doesn't matter then why bring it up.? My response was sarcastic and you chose to take it at face value so that you could jump on a soapbox about how it doesn't matter. For the last time, I was being sarcastic. Yeah, you did miss something.

How much mileage do you plan to get out of it? There is nothing about you that could disappoint me.

I see that you have on occasion had to explain your own use of sarcasm. Frustrating isn't it? I figure if they don't follow it then it is intentional or they lack some discernment. Or they have an agenda.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 554
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 10:44:57 PM
I will gladly let you guys wander into the immature "whose d**k is bigger" rant.

Its interesting you think my comment is a "tortured" rant, bodypro, says a lot about what you place importance on. This entire thread is pretty much about ego's and self-esteem. Honestly, if you have issues... take it up with a fscking therapist.
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 555
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/3/2011 11:14:23 PM
What are you so angry about? I don't have any issues. I mean I got a big one, so...
Not only is this whole thread about egos and self esteem, all the forums are. If you say you don't have an ego, that's okay. I don't believe you. Or conversely you have a big ego about having no ego. Or an ego about supposedly being more mature than me or other men.

Your posts are covert: you appear obviously upset with men signifying. But men do that. And you yourself are marketing yourself as being somehow more mature and manly than guys who would brag about their notches, even in a sarcastic and lighthearted way. Whare is the threat? Some other guy has double my notches and a bigger one. It's nothing much. Nothing I can do about it. I mean you seem to take it a lot more seriously than I do.
It really doesn't matter a whole lot one way or the other. I just dislike your pretense.

I take pride in the fights I had in the ring. That's truly where I get a sense of manhood. Anybody can get laid.

Addendum: this is on target. Right on target. It's really about the op's insecurity with his girlfriend and male insecurity covers a very broad spectrum. I've posted elsewhere on this thread. Eight? You got to be kidding.

Edit: I just read your recent post. My reference to a "tortured rant" was to another poster. Not you, but you kind of remind me of him. In a lot of ways.

 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 558
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 7:57:48 AM
Mr. Church, I recall a post you made a long time ago, when I was registered under another user name. You described with pride going into a bar and intimating three men at a table. Just by your presence. Men you were casually acquainted with. They were trembling with fear in your words. Bullies thrive on fear, it's their fear projected onto other men.
You got to understand men. See, it's their fear that they are projecting onto me. I don't show fear but not by getting all puffed up and macho.

Men are afraid. What are they afraid of? That they won't measure up. That they won't prove as men. That's from ancient days when we hunted in packs. That's the burden of being a man that women don't have. We got to prove it. Women have the pain and burden of child birth.

That's why I'm glad I fought even though it was hard and extra hard for starting so late. I'm a little guy but I carry my self with an air of unforced masculinity because I earned it. I can be gentle. I proved myself. I don't have to be "on" all the time. I'm not "checking" myself all the time. It's liberating. I like the atmosphere of a boxing gym. A lot of love there. Respect. Humor. Aliveness. It's like family in a way.

As for sex losing it's meaning: ain't it a shame? I would call that a personal problem.
 bodypro8ra
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 559
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 9:02:07 AM
You have to remember, whatever it seems like to you, it is just conjecture on your part. I'm talking from direct experience. A bout in the ring is maybe just another day at the office in your mind but even for a veteran professional, and I have known many, the fear never goes away.

This is precisely why I posted about that. Because in boxing you don't have to contort yourself by diminishing another man in order to try to elevate yourself, because you know your place in the pecking order when you step into the gym. There is more respect all the way around. No covert competition or undermining, which degrades the perpetrator.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 560
view profile
History
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 11:23:16 AM

After a large number of partners, does 'one more' mean anything? I mean seriously.... It's just one more number... It's not even a notch on a bed post or the proverbial stick... It gets to the point that having sex is about as meaningful as going for a beer...
No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded...


So tell us mchurch......is that what your girlfriend is to you......"just one more person"?
You've had no issue telling us you were quite the player and have had your fair share of partners...have you lost interest in sex? are you speaking from experience and this is what happened to you?
I mean seriously........how else would you know?!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 562
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 11:34:59 AM


After a large number of partners, does 'one more' mean anything? I mean seriously.... It's just one more number... It's not even a notch on a bed post or the proverbial stick... It gets to the point that having sex is about as meaningful as going for a beer...
No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded...

So tell us mchurch......is that what your girlfriend is to you......"just one more person"?
You've had no issue telling us you were quite the player and have had your fair share of partners...have you lost interest in sex? are you speaking from experience and this is what happened to you?
I mean seriously........how else would you know?!

My question as well. How would one know, unless they know???

No wonder some men get ED... They've simply lost all interest... It's just one more person... They've become jaded...

ED isn't something you manifest due to boredom in the bedroom. It's a medical condition. Boredom in the bedroom is a whole different thing, whether or not that results in failure-to-launch is select to the individual and his health. If one has ED at home, he's not going to be rising to the occasion with those he's not legally attached to, either. Well, without little blue pills, that is. JMO
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 566
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 4/4/2011 1:23:26 PM
This thread has gone totally off topic.... Now it's about fighting?

I DEFINITELY have been missing some posts...

I don't even know what fighting has to do with confidence even....I've lost more fights than I won yet won't be intimidated by anyone....Of course I'm involved with fights and intimidation on a weekly basis. So I'm a bit numb to all that childish nonsense.

As for numbers on either men or women...why does it really matter?
If an individual doesn't want a partner with a high number (Whatever high means to them.) then it is a topic they should definitely bring up in the getting to know you stage.
If you're a person to whom it doesn't matter then you don't need to ask/know.
If you're someone who is offended at the question and a potential mate ASKS this question....well, you're probably just not going to be compatible, That's all.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >