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 Cicciolina
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 53
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??Page 2 of 30    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30)
Marcus,

Give her a break. She hasn't been with that many men.... You are really insecure and jealous.
If she doesn't want to compare you to former flings be thankful.. You must not be rocking her world that great......
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 55
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 11:28:14 AM
I think you have a whole different problem, which is that apparently you think this girl about whom you needed to know more is your girlfriend. Since you're still looking and she's still insisting on condoms, probably because she knows you're still looking, I'm guessing she might not agree with that assessment.

Also, you can't add. That's 7 guys before you. Two in relationships, 5 one-night stands (which included 2 unprotected). Two plus five is seven. You're #8. Not that it matters - it really, really doesn't. IMO she should've told you to just accept that of course she had a past, as surely do you, instead of giving exact details.

If you want to find a virgin, get thee to a nunnery. If you want an exclusive involvement with this girl, get off of POF, grow up a little, and deal in reality. Pick one.

It is safe to have sex with her without a condom if you have been exclusive for at least six consecutive months (which does not appear likely on your side) and at this point both test negative for STDs. There are a few "sleepers" that can take longer than that to incubate, but they are not all that likely. And if you have, in fact, been exclusive for two years, then you're thoroughly covered for all incubation periods, even the least likely things. Get tested!
 EG63
Joined: 1/13/2010
Msg: 56
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 11:38:10 AM
OP

Your resentment is legitimate.
In your shoes I would dump her and look for a 28 years old virgin.
Good luck with that!
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 57
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 11:38:43 AM
Hugo, Her past is her past. None of your business. Stop focusing on your male ego and your own insecurities by comparing other men to yourself. Focus on you and your new companion and YOUR relationship. Give positive to the relationship and allow it to grow. BEFORE you have sex,---both get tested in everything and go back again after 3 months (the window period) to make sure you are both safe and stay monogamous. If someone does have an STD---take the med's to resolve it if available or use precaution (condoms) to stay safe. Best thing is to abstain and develop the relationship and travel in groups.Try not to indulge in alcohol or drugs that will distort reality and make it more difficult to judge what is happening. Do fun active things like karioke, working out, volleyball, educational seminars, theater, music. You will get to know your friend in different settings to see if you really are compatible. Follow your heart but stay protected from STD's.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 59
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:13:31 PM
Just munching on popcorn and laughing my arse off.
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 60
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:21:24 PM
The pill does not protect either of you from STDs. Have her tested several times-to avoid false positive/false negative results. If she tests free of STDs/AIDS, and is willing to confine her future sexual activity to just you, then foerget her past,and accept her as your soul mate/lover. If she continues playing the field while involved with you, leave her alone.
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 61
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:27:45 PM
Say what you want. One night stands + unprotected sex = gross
 bikeman1467
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 62
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:34:11 PM
Hi I’m looking for some advice on this.
Are ya sure?

I've been around the block a few times but it's different for girls
-right?
Type "Madonna Whore" into Google and read up. Better yet, log onto VirginsAreUs.com and look for your girlfriends there. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. You are looking for a non-reciprocating relationship, have no common sense, or really suffer from a severe lack of self-esteem.

14 in total that she has lay in bed with. Is this very unusual?
Sounds normal for someone who has been an adult for 10 years.

is it safe to have sex with her without a condom?
Dude, it isn't even safe to have sex with her WITH a condom. It definitely is SAFER. Do they teach sex ed in the Ireland?

By the way, the relationship with this woman can't be that good for HER if you have been dating her for TWO YEARS and have a current active dating profile posted on PoF.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 63
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:34:52 PM
~OP~ Are you frickin' kidding me? You've been intimate with this gal for 2 years and are just now talking about the past? Oy!!! I hope she reads this and leaves your whiny azz. JMO
 Cicciolina
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 65
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:36:25 PM
what you want. One night stands + unprotected sex =gross

Give me a break..... Things happen when people drink to much or whatever.... Maybe, she was prey to predators, which linger around nightclubs around closing time....who knows..
I have had a one night stand myself. I don't think I am gross either...
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 66
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:49:41 PM
well hugo, you got good news, go get yourself checked out. Luckily she was upfront with you but then again who really knows? Now the too many men thing? I think it depends on the person 14 at 28 with one night stands peppered in there, would probably be a deal breaker for me, i don't go to bed with just anybody so i couldn't possibly go with someone who goes to bed with just "anybody".

as far as the is women with a large number the same as a man with a large number, yes.

You can call me sexist and every name under the sun, but "women" can get laid easier than a man. An average woman can go outside and yell "please somebody, screw me!" and she'll have a line around the corner. An "average" man goes out and yell that same phrase, he would not get a second look. bottom line woman don't have to work to get laid, men do, so you have a point there.

Use a condom. good luck
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 67
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 12:59:40 PM
So Hugo......
these 10 women you slept with.....and increased their number by 1......
did your having sex with them put them over this "magical number" of acceptance for a LTR with another man?

All you men that think it's OK for a man to be promiscous........are the ones guilty
of upping all these girls numbers.
So.......every time you have sex with a girl.........you are ruining her chances of
a future relationship because all the judgemental hypocrites want a virgin for a wife!

as for asking "if I'm the best"..........if you have to ask........you will never be anybody's best!!

as for the condoms...........yeah.......well......just be damn glad she is still having sex with you while you're here looking for some strange!
 neo2u
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 68
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 1:06:54 PM
I agree with the post above. Men have to work twice as hard to get laid. Most women just have to show up. I personally take this little fun fact into account when making the final decision as to who I'll sleep with. I'm not going to sleep with a girl who will have sex with just anybody and/or everybody. For one thing sharing on that level is just gross and for another it's just not safe. The worst case scenario is not worth the risk, despite how great the sex is.

Men and women are not equal. They never will be. So don't worry about the tally. You'll give yourself an anxiety disorder trying to measure your past experiences like it's some sort of score board.

Speaking of past experiences, if you've been with this girl for two years, and presumably still with her, then why the hell do you have an active account on a dating website? Seems a little sketchy and hypocritical.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 69
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 1:09:33 PM

I've been around the block a few times but it's different for girls
-right? ....


Why is it different for girls? If a woman wants to sleep with a man for a one night stand or on a first date she is no more a slut than the guy. I personally need an emotional attachment before having sex but some people don't and it shouldn't be any different for her than the fact you've been around too. Probably way more than her.

Don't ever ask her to compare you to her other lovers. She could lie and say you are the best she ever had or as she did just state she would rather not say. After 2 years if the relationship is going well why dwell on the past? Eight men is not that many and I agree with others it isn't a bad thing that she waited to sleep with you.


I've always believed in love before sex but when I was back in the dating world I tried finding love with sex. I had one drunken one night stand. I believe in sharing the past and my SO doesn't hold it against me that he is number 6. Asking how you compare, still can't believe you asked her that.
 onefishwilldo
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 73
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 1:58:17 PM
Without reading all the other posts. Here's my two cents.

Unless she's an extremely ugly woman, she is going to get date/boyfriends and have sex with them. Hopefully she has good taste and not sleeping with all of them. BUT, what she did before your time is her business. You shouldn't ask and she didn't have to answer to you. What she is doing while with you is the IMPORTANT factor. So if she means everything to you, drop her past and concentrate on the future with her.

Love her just as she is and don't try to change her. You can't change anyone but yourself.

Next time, if you don't want to know...don't ask. Because majority of people cannot handle the truth.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 75
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 2:30:45 PM

You see shes always made out that she is very shy and wouldnt be
with anyone before me,



This is the only part you have any reason to be concerned about but then again if she knew your reaction she probably was wise in her decision. Now she felt after 2 or 3 yrs together you deserved the truth and after she confides in you you want to throw away an otherwise good relationship. Maybe she has changed and didn't want you judging her from her past.



I think she needs to break up with you because you obviously think less of her now. Respect is an important part of a healthy relationship. It is a double standard for you to think it is ok to of slept around but not ok if she did.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 77
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 2:46:07 PM
I'm going to quote a different poster on a different thread:



Guys will support sex by third date or some other horsesh1t, that suits their agenda, and yet expect there to be a virtuous maiden awaiting them at the end of the day!lol


For the last time, a woman is not a cheater just because she embraces her own sexuality.
OP at your age a woman with more experience than you should be appreciated and welcomed by you. So she doesn't act like a party girl - still waters run deep. Just because she is not very bold socially doesn't mean she has to live like a nun. It's quite possible when she was younger she fell for the BS that guys gave her, and now she knows how to be more discerning. When you know better, you do better. She obviously is not choosing to be promiscuous any more and is being very honest with you.

I'm tellin ya, a MAN judging a WOMAN who enjoys sex is definitely the pot calling the kettle black.
If she has given no reason to mistrust her, use protection, go get tested together and enjoy yourselves. Either break up with her or quit judging her.
Go ahead OP, date and marry some frigid little prim donna and THEN see how happy you are.
 kawasakiprincess
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 81
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 3:41:37 PM
um should she have kept it to her self? or for you to not of asked to begin with knowing you cant handle the truth and what do you mean its different for girls??? before i jump the gun
 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 84
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 4:00:52 PM
You: I want the truth!
She: [shouts] You can’t handle the truth!


Hugo, you need to get even.

Her score = 9
His score = 10
So yeah, she should get a "get out of jail free card" to bang a guy at the local pub!!


P.S. Watch what you say about Beavers!
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 89
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 7:38:47 PM
Has she been tested for STDs considering her past with unprotected sex? Is she free of those?

If so, then what on earth is the problem? How is it supposed to be "different for girls"? Figure out whether you like her and act accordingly.

And don't ever assume you don't have STDs if you haven't had a full work-up with universally negative results. A majority of people who have them don't know that they do, hence their continued spread.

Also, many people feel more comfortable with two birth control methods than with one, and it sounds like she may be one of those. Have you talked to her about why?
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 90
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 8:33:33 PM
Why do you care, you're on here looking for a date!
10 guys at 28 is nothing.
Get over yourself.
 bobby0386
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 92
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 8:40:46 PM
the past is the past. get a std check if it helps you. just make sure you both love each other.
 txredbull
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 93
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HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 8:42:52 PM
Dude...I hate to break this to you...but studies indicate (and theres been a bunch of them) that woman "underbag" their sex number. So if she said 14...most likely the real number is 20-24 men before you.

Studies also indicate that woman typically have twice the number of partners as men for the same age... And, why men get labeled with the "sleeping around" sign I have no idea. Also, these numbers would tend to indicate that a few lucky guys must be making up for the rest of the men for the statistics to hold.

Always wear a condom unless you ready to get married....
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 95
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 8:52:03 PM
It's okay for guys to have sex with lots of women. It's not okay for women to have sex with lots of men (lesbians are okay). That's the truth. OP, you must dump her and sleep with more women. You must be rational. Stop thinking with your heart and start thinking with your wiener.
 ErikaShae
Joined: 1/18/2010
Msg: 98
HELP ME - GIRLFRIEND HAS BEEN WITH TOO MANY MEN??
Posted: 1/21/2010 9:25:11 PM
haha this one kinda makes me laugh... 28 years old and shes been with 9 guys... sweetheart you should feel lucky.. most women now a days have been with 10 plus.... expecially the younger crowd 16-20. its hard to find someone who has not had a lot of sexual partners.

but the real question is, how many women have you slept with... dont judge a person on their past, she might of had a rough time, instead judge her on the person she has become and is striving to be. sounds like she dosenot have a problem with how many people youve been with, why have a problem with her

erika.
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