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Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 83
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Humor vs Seriousness in a Relationship or Courting/DatingPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You kidding me?

Life is tough. I want to be with someone who is strong enough to handle the tough times, who is wise enough to be able to make the right decisions, who is knowledgeable enough to have something worthwhile to say

At some point you'll realise that the ability to maintai ones sense of humor in "tough times" is what seperates happy, sane people from chronically depressed and negative people and at that point you will have missed out on some very good people.......

You are right, life is tough. That doesn't mean people shouldn't enjoy themselves. Healthy people are able to recognise that while life canbe very tough, that doesn't mean it can't be fun. Really, if things go terribly wrong/get tough, you have two choices: Quit or fix things.... most people don't just give up and die when life throws a few rocks at them, so why not find someone who has fun when fixing things?

My personal take is that if someone has the strength to keep positive and even find humor at lifes most trying times, then that is a DESIRABLE trait, not one to cull out. Ideally, the world could fall down around my ears, but if I have someone with whom I can spend time laughing and loving, it really won't matter because I'll have that happy place to rebuild from.
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 84
Humor vs Seriousness in a Relationship or Courting/Dating
Posted: 2/2/2010 5:42:56 PM
i think it is fine to know the answer to those questions at the very beginning, before you decide if you even want a relationship.
you can find out his or her age on the phone or an e mail.
if religion is important to you then i would ask that before meeting.

laughter on dates breaks the ice. its good.
i never thought of myself as funny, but when someone tells me i am funny and laughs with me that makes me happy. and i know i am putting them at ease. same goes if they can make me laugh.

Joking and humor is different to me:
i did meet one man who joked about every single thing. i mean this .
he told jokes to the waiter too. during our date he put on utube to show me jokes.
it began to totally bore me. i felt as if i did not know him,...because all he did was tell jokes.
kind of like someone i met once who only quoted bible verses.
Now those kind of people maybe are hiding behind humor, or religion or whatever.
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 86
Humor vs Seriousness in a Relationship or Courting/Dating
Posted: 11/20/2010 1:31:54 AM
OP, you have a fear of joyful connection. I say this because you are having a great time with a man and deliberately sabotage the future with him by asking him a serious question while the two of you are in the contextual setting of laughing to witty remarks. You encourage his wit by laughing, then write him off for using what you have rewarded?

So what is the solution? Acknowledge and face your fear. Next time you are rolling with laughter, save the serious questions and deal breaker tests for a more appropriate moment, when he can actually have a chance at passing.

On the whole, I disagree with your philosophy that stony seriousness is the best way to handle hard times, my wit and wisdom and wackiness have carried me throughhard times that were evil, nauseating, violent, tragic, heartbreaking, destructive, and stranger than fiction. Smile, life sucks when you don't.
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 87
Humor vs Seriousness in a Relationship or Courting/Dating
Posted: 11/20/2010 5:05:15 AM
having a sense of humor is a good thing. I'd rather want to be with someone that knows how to laugh, than always being miserable and serious all the time. Loosen the hell up, nobody wants to be around an Ice King or and Ice Queen.

However there are times when people need to be serious when they have to be. Balance.
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