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 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 52
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down SyndromePage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Trolls, when the can't argue with your message they attack you lol. Attacking a poster's photo, when you yourself have none up on your profile is not even a good attack. But I except your run challenge bring it on.

My message remains valid. Most people will not date someone with a special needs child. Lots of people will not date any single parent and the reasons vary, but many of them are valid. Less free time, less spending money, can't get out and do certain activates and the like. If a special needs kid(s) is in the mix these same reasons are amplified. I don't know why my honesty in saying I would not date someone with a special needs child is not PC to some.
I do understand some of the right to life anti abortion religious types out there do not like my pro-choice posts or message. I stand by that and I believe screening for abnormalities and birth defects is the best and right choice and when found elective abortions are a good choice, but they are a choice.

"your wimpy little physique" "lack the emotional and psychological "abilities" required " "cold-hearted" "very troubled" and the last but not least "I fear that the most "handicapped" children in this discussion are, sadly, his. " :modhammer:

If you really wish to debate stay on message. If you really wish to take me on in a run, like I said bring that on too. But I don't think you want to do any of that. You don't like my honesty or my pro-choice message and because you can't debate with me on these in a logical way you post the above stuff that can only be considered a troll post. I do not mind you trolls, both of you. Just stay on message when you drift it gets sad.


"Makes me wonder why he hopes to achieve with his words."shown by your spelling and grammatical errors in all your posts lol!!!
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 54
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/2/2010 7:13:41 AM
Sweetness, I know your pro-life from your post, but even some pro-life people know there is a difference between an abortion and throwing a child that has been born off a cliff. I have even meet some people that are anti abortion that believe in exceptions like rape, incest, safety of the mother or birth defects, but I know all do not feel this way.
To your question, I would still love and care for my children if they were in a wheel chair. I would. I would also understand that it would drastically change my life and therefore my dating life. I would understand that most people would not be interested in dating me if I had a special needs child. Taking care of a child in a situation like you painted would be my burden alone.
I can not change the mind of people that believe humans are the same at conception as they are at birth. I do not believe this, nor do most people. Why I am for testing and elective abortions. The key word here is elective. So, the people that do not feel like I do, do not have to do it. Some people want to take the choice a way from the rest of us and that is what I object to. They often time use code words and attacks but the message is the same; all abortions are bad. They are not!
 missme2much
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 55
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:33:31 PM
Freetoe....(Freetime) you said:
"You see that is my point. Taking the road less traveled sometimes take the physical and mental abilities special needs children and adults do not have. Me and my kids take the road less traveled all the time.......My kids are lucky too and the grate times they have are because of the choices I make."

OMG. How can you twist Robert Frosts words to justify your pathetic ramblings of hate and disregard for the disabled (Down Syndrome especially- since you have openly said that you think they shouldn't be alive). Taking the road less traveled is one that disabled people CAN take. However, because of the thought involved, the love needed, the heart and determination required, and the special feeling you get when you HONESTLY take a road less taken.....(kayaking and surfing are NOT the road less taken by the way. How you figure it is, I'll never know. Of course I can't figure out the assanine logic to any of your ramblings/thoughts). I don't think it is possible for you to travel that road. You are too stuck on yourself thinking your superior to all, and that your sh*t doesn't stink. I hate to tell you this- but ALL SH*T STINKS. (And no, disabled people, Downs people are NOT sh*t sandwiches) Here is another quote for you to ponder.....

"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."
- Robert Frost

While I'm sure you will twist it somehow, and say that those of us who are respectful and loving towards those with disabilities are those who "keep on saying it" and that you're the only one who has "something to say and can't"..... The rest of us here on the real world know the truth though.

You also said:
"You see some of us do not have to settle for a sh1t sandwich and some of us will not let a pushy waiter hand it off to us."

Classifying disabled people as Sh*t sandwiches only shows your hatred and your total disregard for human life that doesn't meet YOUR standard. It's funny, you bash disabled people calling them sh*t, but from where I'm standing, the smell is coming directly from you. It goes back to my point. I hurt, not because of my childrens disabilities, but because I can't protect them from arrogant, selfish, lunatics like you. I can't beieve your parents were allowed to spawn.

I am beginning to think that all your hatred is derived from a particular source. I am beginning to think maybe YOU have a (mental) disability that you have not been able to come to terms with. Because of this, you feel you need to get even with the world, you feel you need to release this anger by bashing other disabled people. Perhaps it is the only way you can feel important. The more you type, the more positive I am that you have a disability. Because it isn't "normal" for people to carry on like you have. It isn't "normal" for people to call disabled people "sh*t sandwiches". It isn't "normal" to think that all disabled people (Down Syndrome people) are useless and have no reason to be hear on this earth. You claim that you would care for your kids if they became disabled, but the rest of your posts tell us otherwise. You can't even accept your own disabilities and short comings. How will you accept your child if they are disabled? It is different when the shoe is on the other foot isn't it. No, the others on here are not trolls. Nor am I. What I am is a mother who dearly loves her children- regardless of disabilities. You preach your kids are better off because you take them kayaking. I preach that my kids (as well as other disabled kids) are better off because they have a strong, loving, accepting, nourishing, and positive support system. There is more to life than kayaking and surfing. You can take your kids on all the trips and adventures you can possibly imagine, but it means nothing without love and respect. Thats the bottom line. You need to just shut up.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 56
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:27:34 AM
First off my post on the shit sandwich was to point out how dumb the comparison of a vacation in Holland not Italy was. The idea that they are both good just different is complete crap. (By the way Holland is a lot more fun.) If it had been Italy and Afghanistan it would have been closer to how not the same the situation is. My views on testing an elective abortions is held by the majority. The anti abortion BS that everything is the same at conception and birth is wrong. If you wish to debate these issues, that is what the forums are for. If on the other hand you just wish to call people names take it to the play ground. My views on abortion are the norm. This is not hatred or twisted or bad, but it is what most people believe. Some people just will not say it because they fear you anti abortion types, all cut from the same cloth. Some of you remind me of the church lady from the old saturday night live skits with the holier then every one attitude, but no issues or logical arguments to make or add to the debate. I do not fear you or your name calling. Again people with no real argument, go to name calling as the last resort. Not much of a debate when that happens and I will not sink to your level.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 58
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:39:39 AM
You were one of the few not call names and asking real questions. You do not have to agree with me; a free and open debate is a good thing. I understand there are other views and don't want to say some one can not make a different pick then I would.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 60
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:19:42 AM
To your abortion question: With 75% supporting it in cases of birth defects I think we can call this a fact. A majority oppose overturning Roe v. Wade, but some have issues with late abortions. This being about birth defects (on topic) 75% support it!!!
http://people-press.org/commentary/?analysisid=119
They show divergent levels of support for abortion in cases of birth defects – in the General Social Survey, 75% said a woman should be able to obtain a legal abortion "if there is a strong chance of a serious defect;" CNN/USA Today/Gallup found smaller majorities support if the baby "may be…impaired" either mentally or physically.
The public has long been strongly supportive of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision, which established a woman's right to abortion. In July, the Pew Research Center found that by more than two-to-one (65%-29%), the public opposed completely overturning Roe.

" I, for one, am a perfectly fit physical education teacher who participates in triathlons every year "
With an Average Body Type and no pic, okay if you say so, but if true, you would understand the importance of getting out there. Not many people with major birth defects running a triathon are there?
"Come on, buddy… Get real." Same to you buddy lol.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 62
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:10:33 AM
"Far from the "words of wisdom" he'd requested about how to deal with a situation that already IS his reality"
But it was you that requested it! "Now---- let's get to tackling your absurd, and yet chronic, assertion that your pro-abortion stance is also the most widely held belief by “most people” or “the majority.” How so?"
Rember two post ago when you asked the question? That is how the forums work they grow and change as people ask questions like you did in Msg #65. Ask a question get the data asked for and then say what does that have to do with the OP lol. You are playing games now, but I all ready knew you were just a troll.

On the abortion data argument I think actions say more then words.
But while expectant parents now routinely and proudly show ultrasound pictures of their developing baby, there is a darker side to prenatal testing. Besides ultrasound, which can show some birth defects, blood tests like AFP testing and the Triple Screen to test for neural tube defects or Down Syndrome are now becoming a routine part of prenatal care. Amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling are also widely available tests to detect problems in the developing baby. It seems that every year, new testing techniques are tried and older ones refined in the quest to find birth defects prenatally.
97% of the time, women receive the good news that their baby seems fine; but the tests are not foolproof, and they can only test for hundreds of the thousands of known birth defects. Relatively few such birth defects can be treated in the womb at the present time. Some women want testing so that they can prepare for a child who has a birth defect, but when the tests do show a possible problem like Down Syndrome, up to 90% of women will abort.
You asked for it not him.


 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 64
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 7:36:51 PM
most people are selfish. it is nearly impossible to find a partner with a big enough heart, empathy and compassion to have the patience to deal with our "baggage".
Noooooooooo, they won't say it to our face. Actions speak their words.
I can't find a good man who isn't full of schit,lying or playing games. They don't want to love our kids.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 67
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 4:44:29 AM
Yes, I know about the camps and that special needs children can enjoy themselves at them. These are a good thing for them. I just do not wish to take part in these activities. Being honest, like the poster above you stated, is a quality many people do not have. By being honest and stating I would not enjoy taking part in activities with special needs kids and my children would not enjoy these activities also is just the truth. Most people have better things to do, they just will not say it. My post on testing and elective abortions, is backed up by the data. This is not uneducated or ignorant. May be you should educate yourself on the facts. I encourage testing, not because I wish bad things for special needs children that have all ready been born, I encourage testing for birth defects so less children will be born with them. This is a good goal in my book even if some right to life religious types do not think so. They resort to name calling because using facts will not support them or their efforts and name calling is all they have left.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 68
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 6:36:12 AM
there is alot of ignorance and plain ole stupidity
i can't wait for one of you type of people to get sick with cancer
be terminally ill
have to pay for it out of everything that you saved
be chronically in pain
where your illness or disability can't be cured
maybe lose an arm or a leg
have a family member be maimed
then people of your cruelly judgmental being
will get a taste of your own medicine
OH
sorry to be honest
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 70
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 7:12:05 AM
i love my kids
yes, even my destructive autistic son that drives me crazy
people
are blessings from God
and people should have more gratitude and grace
my son is the sweetest, smartest little lock picker on earth
he is a runner
"Yes. Children that do what my son does are called runners"
Gates is autistic.
Nicholas Cage is bipolar
Barbara Bush is unipolar
where is humanity in these animals with a superiority attitude?
they are THE FREAKS
not normal human people
who are NOT perfect
HEY,I have news for you
all humans are sinners
the only perfect being is God!!!!!
MOM
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 71
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 1:58:28 PM
"i can't wait for one of you type of people to get sick with cancer
be terminally ill
have to pay for it out of everything that you saved
be chronically in pain
where your illness or disability can't be cured
maybe lose an arm or a leg
have a family member be maimed
then people of your cruelly judgmental being
will get a taste of your own medicine"


This does seem to be the Christian way when you do not agree with them on something. Being honest and wishing bad things really not the same thing for some of us any ways. And they think they are better too. WTF
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 75
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 8:50:39 PM
i love my kids. My children come first. They need me. They are still babies.
Beautiful loving children who give big hugs and big kisses every day.
chilren are blessings from God
Jesus states,"come to me as children"
there is heaven
there is hell
i am not to judge, i leave that to the Lord
he will judge all human beings by our heart!
You sound like hitler's areal attitude
Areál československého opevnění Šatov - Wikipedie, otevřená ...
Areál je ve správě Technického muzea v Brně a zahrnuje dva pěchotní ... srub MJ-S 2 prohlédl i Adolf Hitler, na střeše objektu byla vybudována vyhlídková plošina ...
cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Are%C3%A1l_%C4%8Deskoslovensk%C3%A9...
I will pray for you.
C~
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 76
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 5:23:44 AM
Religion often really does cloud ones ability to engage in a real an open discussion on topics like abortion. For a poster to go on about wishing cancer, loss of limbs and family member being maimed to those that do not hold the same beliefs on abortion, then to post "I will pray for you". I say no thank you. I do not want you to pray for me. I do not believe in your god, I do not believe god has anything to do with children having birth defects or that children are gifts from god. It is fine if you wish to hold to ideas like this or let your children believe that pets go to heaven when they are killed if you wish, but I do not believe them. I do believe testing for birth defects and for some elective abortions, education on prenatal care and diet can have a real impact on reducing the number of children born with birth defects and I believe this is a good goal to have.

Sweetness, nice to know some Christians are able to engage in a debate with out going to name calling, wishing terminal illnesses on others or simply saying "it's gods will", but from what I have seen your not typical of how christens act. The typical Christian response does not seem logical, but more that that it seems to be evil. Who could read some of the post here and think the christian mind set is a good thing, even with the one exception I have seen on this thread. I don't get it at all and some really believe they are better then those of us that don't believe the way they do. Education, knowledge and open debate, not praying, can make a difference.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 78
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 10:25:09 AM
Said by you: "there is no reason to tell those of us with "imperfect" children that we shouldn't have had them so the world would be a better place to YOU." Msg 83
Said by me:"Why I am for testing and elective abortions. The key word here is elective. So, the people that do not feel like I do, do not have to do it. " Msg 59 and others

You are attempting to change what I have said and that is one more outrageous tactic used by the anti abortion crusaders. If facts will not work go to name calling, if name calling will not work go to the lies, but the lies will not work here ether. You do not have to believe in my views on abortion, but they are not only my views they are the views of the majority as all ready pointed out in earlier post which included web links. I am sorry your life is so painful that you often cry from frustration. I would never wish that on anyone, not even some one who would attack me in the ways you did in your post. Your post and some of the other posters comments have only solidified my views and feelings on this subject, because I see angry, bitter and even evil posts coming from a group that tries to say that special needs children only bring joy and happiness. I wish you and your family only the best. That is what I wish for others also and is why I have made the post I have. Knowledge and facts will help others in making their choices if they have testing done and are notified of possible birth defects. I believe if these same people were to read the post made by you and some of the other posters on this thread you to will be helping them make the same pick I would. Because it would not be joy and happiness that they would see.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 84
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/7/2010 8:06:30 AM
To the above poster, I am glade you are happy in your life and with your son. But were did you get this: "You probably worship the quicksand Obama walks on"? Kind of a leap if you ask me. He is better then the last guy we had in office, that guy was a bit slow, but I don't think I posted anything about that in this thread.
I would like to see incidence of Down Syndrome reduced. I am for testing and elective abortions and if it was my pick that is what I would do and it is a protected right here in the USA. A right I support.
Do you support the laws and the constitutionally protected rights of this great country of ours? From your posts, I think you would like to see, the rights that the highest court in the nation ruled are constitutionally protected, taken away. "Didn't work for Hitler sure ain't gonna work for you." lol.
You do not have to agree with me, but Down Syndrome is not a good thing. I do not wish anything bad to a parent that would not choose abortion or to a child born with this condition, but I do believe it would in fact be a better world if there were few children born with this defect and it is a defect.
This world is not perfect, but we can all try and make it better. Even if you did not. If there was a cure for your son would you give it to him? If yes you see my point at least part of my point. If there was a cure for Down Syndrome and you would not let your son be given it, most would consider that a very bad thing and that is because Down Syndrome is not something good at all. Even if you son is good the defect is not!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 87
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/7/2010 10:02:08 PM
oh here is another one,
when i was tested at 5 1 /2 months
my son came back 100% normal
after he was born he was tested genetically for an autiustic gene
he came back 100% negative
my son got autism from metal toxicity~ pollution ~runoff into the gulf of mexico~experimental~~genetic engineering into the USA food
which is not allowed in europe

i can go
on and on

all tests are negative

he is 100%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
very very autistic
and autism is 1 in every 100 children in the world now!
what is your answer to that white supremest pig?
those are the current stats!

 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 88
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/8/2010 4:33:55 AM
"Free" I am an Air Force Vet....so you're very welcome for your freedom and rights!
I did 25 years before I retiered from the Army, so thank me too lol.
Q:Are you suggesting that I should have KILLED my son at birth, because that's when I found out he had Ds.
A: No! Go back and read what I have posted. I wish the best for any one born with this defect.

"you are afraid to learn about a disablity" No I am not, but I would still like to see it go away, because it is not a good thing. I believe this because I did learn about it.

"I wonder if your mother knew ahead of time the type of person you would turn out to be, if she would have aborted you? I'm thinking she would...you sir, are ignorant"
Typical response I have been getting from the so called christians that do not agree with me, but it is ignorant as an argument! All you have to use.

"If there was a cure for your son would you give it to him?"
No I wouldn't give my son the cure, because Down syndrome is not a DISEASE. I accept my son just as he is, A HUMAN BEING. "
So if some one is born and can not use their legs they should not fix that problem. They are still human right! How about conjoined twines, they should just stay stuck together. You are primitive in your thinking and it is so sad. If there was a cure you would not even give it to your son. That makes you the poorest excuse for a parent I have seen here in the forums yet!

One more time Down Syndrome is a bad thing. I do not wish anything bad to children born with this defect, but I do wish fewer children were born with it. Testing and elective abortions are one way to do this. I recognize this is not perfect and not for everyone. But for a parent that would not even give a cure to their child that was born with this condition, that is just so sad and some one like that should never be a parent in the first place.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 90
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:22:58 AM
How dare I?
Said by you: "Hitler committed suicide because he knew it wasn't gonna work. He, like you, was a coward."
"I wonder if your mother knew ahead of time the type of person you would turn out to be, if she would have aborted you? I'm thinking she would...you sir, are ignorant. "
"Your so damn superficial you can't see past what a person looks like. How sad to live your life that way."
""Free" you are annoying as hell"

The above was all posted by some one other then me, but it is not why I said you are a bad parent. This is: "If there was a cure for your son would you give it to him?"
"No I wouldn't give my son the cure"
A parent that would not cure their child of Down Syndrome if they could is a bad parent in my book!
What you said was mean and insulting, what I said would hold up in most courts of law.
"Don't insult people based on your beliefs and don't judge people period"
Think you better re-read the post you made here. Your the one with issues, may be your to close to this subject to post on it with out getting out of control. I mean all caps that is not cool at all, add that to the name calling and it is just wrong.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 92
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:23:25 AM
I hear what you are saying, but I do not agree. If I had a child born with a birth defect, I would work to over come it as much as possible. If a child had a clef palette and a parent did not have corrective procedures done I would consider that bad. If a child was born with his feet facing backwards I would expect a good parent to work fix that problem. Like wise if genetic treatments for downs were found I would expect a parent that wanted the best for their child to have them. This would be helping the child and would not be un excepting of the child. Do you think other problems should be treated or is it just downs? I remember the parent that was refusing lymphoma treatments for a child because of their religious beliefs and I found that to be bad too. We all have an obligation as parents to help our children be the best they can be and if personal beliefs make that impossible for them, I think, as do most, that the courts should step in and make the best choice for the child. Like wise treating a child for a clef palette is not be un excepting of the child. It is to make the child better and that is a noble goal. Your anger is likely out of frustration and that I can understand. I am sure it is difficult for you and I wish you only the best, but the forums are to talk issues and you will often times see ideas that you do not agree with. At least they should make you think and it seems my posts did just that for you.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 95
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 3/10/2010 6:52:05 AM
Not true: http://www.womens-health.co.uk/downs.asp
Down syndrome can be diagnosed early in pregnancy (at about 15 to 16 weeks) by amniocentesis. This involves a very fine needle being passed into the womb, under guidance by ultrasound, and sampling of the (amniotic) fluid around the baby. It is done under local anaesthetic, and most women don't find it too uncomfortable. There is a risk, however, of about 1 in 100 to 200 of a spontaneous miscarriage after the procedure.

People need the facts on this subject!!!
 chry
Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 101
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 10/14/2010 7:30:31 AM
Hi fed,
I know exactly where you're coming from.I have 15 year old son who has LGS (Lennox_Gastaut syndrome). Sadly enough though,unlike Down Syndrome,Autism,etc which the public hears a lot about,my son's disorder is extremely rare and even Dr's at prestigous hospitals like John Hopkins,Wake Forrest and many others,have never heard of it.So we not only educate at school and in the community,we educate for them at medical facilities as well.I've had 2 fairly long term relationships since my son was born but both ended in arguements of 'how' my son should act and be.If I had a choice,I certainly wouldn't choose this life.

I was actually just speaking with Ray from dads4kids about maybe creating a dating site just for single parents of special needs kids.In my thinking,another parent who also has a special child would be more in tune with the obstacles involved.You don't realize the intrusion into your life until you live it.I constantly have staff,teachers,therpists,case managers,etc in my home on a daily basis.Not everyone could handle that.A single dad who has a special child would understand and accept my life the way it is.We could have a bond that other people wouldn't have.

I figure 2 special parents who support each other,combine financial income,knowledge and share the difficulties would be a better option for us than a 'normal' (term used loosely) parent who lives,breaths and thinks life is cut and dry and this is how it is or this is how it's suppose to be.Our lives are not conventional at all.While others take life for granted,we live one day at a time and savor every moment...........

God Bless you and your little girl!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 102
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 10/15/2010 9:10:49 AM
^^^^I like your idea of a single parent site for those who have special needs children - would be good to have like minded/experienced individuals to just chat with, aswell as date.

For the Op. I'd suggest talking about your child as it happens naturally within your 'getting to know you' process; a gradual disclosure time - the more comfortable you feel around each other the more she'll be able to see you as an individual person and not just the father of a 'special needs child', therefore I wouldn't suggest bringing it up immediately - unless it naturally arises.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 105
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 10/23/2010 5:05:59 PM
OP... I personally would not discriminate between a child with Downs and a child without Downs. I am am early childhood teacher and so have come into contact with lots of children with special needs- they are just children to me. I think that maybe people in my kind of profession, or health care workers, social workers that kind of thing, who regularly come into contact with differently-abled people are more likely to be understanding. For many people, it is also the fear of the unknown. I was sh*t scared when I had my own child as I grew up an only child with no babies around me... I didn't know the first thing about them! A lack of knowledge can translate in to fear. I do recall my first experience with a moderately disabled child... I was 9. He came over and hugged me and drooled a little and spoke nonsense words- I was terrified! But I got over it lol.

Anyway- I think that you may well find that there are more women who will accept you and your child than would reject you. Good luck!!!

And isn't it nice the troll seems to have slipped back into his cave
 StirFriedCrazy
Joined: 6/8/2010
Msg: 109
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 5/8/2011 12:14:53 AM
I really think you're looking for answers from the ladies so obviously I cannot go there. But I can offer you my experiences. You are following in my footsteps so to speak since my daughter is approaching 25 and thus she and I are approximately where you are now when mine was 9 and where you and your daughter will both be age wise when yours reaches 25. As you are doing, I have always been upfront with this, very much so. She doesn't have Downs but MR from a brain injury (TBI) while very young. Sometimes she can be "funny" but really on the many occasions I have to interact with special needs kids and young adults, and then observe "normal" people, especially what passes for leaders in this country, I just marvel at the simple way they get along and how accomplished they are given their limited circumstances. Like I always say, my daughter makes the sun shine for me everyday.

Even before we separated I was the primary care giver and the parent who took the lead in all the relevant special education, dealing with agencies, etc. I would suppose, based on my own experience, that a special bond forms between the special child and the parent that takes the most interest in their welfare, and of course probably both parents in an unbroken household, and that this special bond probably runs deeper than the normal bond between parent and child and of course could lead to misgivings with an intended to be in your future. So personally though I again suppose there are those, men or women, who would be jealous I myself would avoid them. And it's best to know up front that they might feel this way. And thus it's best to let them know even before the first date that you have a special needs dependent and that you are responsible for, feel for, and cherish this person now and probably for all time. It's just the way it is, and personally I feel the way it should be.

There is one point wherein I would do things differently and that is I would not post my children's pictures on-line. Unfortunately there are just too many bad things that happen to adults on-line, moreso to underage children, and for special needs children, it's just too risky. Yep, I'm over protective but someone needs to do the job.
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