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 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 54
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down SyndromePage 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Sweetness, I know your pro-life from your post, but even some pro-life people know there is a difference between an abortion and throwing a child that has been born off a cliff. I have even meet some people that are anti abortion that believe in exceptions like rape, incest, safety of the mother or birth defects, but I know all do not feel this way.
To your question, I would still love and care for my children if they were in a wheel chair. I would. I would also understand that it would drastically change my life and therefore my dating life. I would understand that most people would not be interested in dating me if I had a special needs child. Taking care of a child in a situation like you painted would be my burden alone.
I can not change the mind of people that believe humans are the same at conception as they are at birth. I do not believe this, nor do most people. Why I am for testing and elective abortions. The key word here is elective. So, the people that do not feel like I do, do not have to do it. Some people want to take the choice a way from the rest of us and that is what I object to. They often time use code words and attacks but the message is the same; all abortions are bad. They are not!
 missme2much
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 55
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:33:31 PM
Freetoe....(Freetime) you said:
"You see that is my point. Taking the road less traveled sometimes take the physical and mental abilities special needs children and adults do not have. Me and my kids take the road less traveled all the time.......My kids are lucky too and the grate times they have are because of the choices I make."

OMG. How can you twist Robert Frosts words to justify your pathetic ramblings of hate and disregard for the disabled (Down Syndrome especially- since you have openly said that you think they shouldn't be alive). Taking the road less traveled is one that disabled people CAN take. However, because of the thought involved, the love needed, the heart and determination required, and the special feeling you get when you HONESTLY take a road less taken.....(kayaking and surfing are NOT the road less taken by the way. How you figure it is, I'll never know. Of course I can't figure out the assanine logic to any of your ramblings/thoughts). I don't think it is possible for you to travel that road. You are too stuck on yourself thinking your superior to all, and that your sh*t doesn't stink. I hate to tell you this- but ALL SH*T STINKS. (And no, disabled people, Downs people are NOT sh*t sandwiches) Here is another quote for you to ponder.....

"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it."
- Robert Frost

While I'm sure you will twist it somehow, and say that those of us who are respectful and loving towards those with disabilities are those who "keep on saying it" and that you're the only one who has "something to say and can't"..... The rest of us here on the real world know the truth though.

You also said:
"You see some of us do not have to settle for a sh1t sandwich and some of us will not let a pushy waiter hand it off to us."

Classifying disabled people as Sh*t sandwiches only shows your hatred and your total disregard for human life that doesn't meet YOUR standard. It's funny, you bash disabled people calling them sh*t, but from where I'm standing, the smell is coming directly from you. It goes back to my point. I hurt, not because of my childrens disabilities, but because I can't protect them from arrogant, selfish, lunatics like you. I can't beieve your parents were allowed to spawn.

I am beginning to think that all your hatred is derived from a particular source. I am beginning to think maybe YOU have a (mental) disability that you have not been able to come to terms with. Because of this, you feel you need to get even with the world, you feel you need to release this anger by bashing other disabled people. Perhaps it is the only way you can feel important. The more you type, the more positive I am that you have a disability. Because it isn't "normal" for people to carry on like you have. It isn't "normal" for people to call disabled people "sh*t sandwiches". It isn't "normal" to think that all disabled people (Down Syndrome people) are useless and have no reason to be hear on this earth. You claim that you would care for your kids if they became disabled, but the rest of your posts tell us otherwise. You can't even accept your own disabilities and short comings. How will you accept your child if they are disabled? It is different when the shoe is on the other foot isn't it. No, the others on here are not trolls. Nor am I. What I am is a mother who dearly loves her children- regardless of disabilities. You preach your kids are better off because you take them kayaking. I preach that my kids (as well as other disabled kids) are better off because they have a strong, loving, accepting, nourishing, and positive support system. There is more to life than kayaking and surfing. You can take your kids on all the trips and adventures you can possibly imagine, but it means nothing without love and respect. Thats the bottom line. You need to just shut up.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 56
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 3:27:34 AM
First off my post on the shit sandwich was to point out how dumb the comparison of a vacation in Holland not Italy was. The idea that they are both good just different is complete crap. (By the way Holland is a lot more fun.) If it had been Italy and Afghanistan it would have been closer to how not the same the situation is. My views on testing an elective abortions is held by the majority. The anti abortion BS that everything is the same at conception and birth is wrong. If you wish to debate these issues, that is what the forums are for. If on the other hand you just wish to call people names take it to the play ground. My views on abortion are the norm. This is not hatred or twisted or bad, but it is what most people believe. Some people just will not say it because they fear you anti abortion types, all cut from the same cloth. Some of you remind me of the church lady from the old saturday night live skits with the holier then every one attitude, but no issues or logical arguments to make or add to the debate. I do not fear you or your name calling. Again people with no real argument, go to name calling as the last resort. Not much of a debate when that happens and I will not sink to your level.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 57
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:21:33 AM
Freetime, i wasnt calling you names or attacking your beliefs.
Yes im pro-life but i respect your position on elective abortion, raising a disabled child isnt for everyone.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 58
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 6:39:39 AM
You were one of the few not call names and asking real questions. You do not have to agree with me; a free and open debate is a good thing. I understand there are other views and don't want to say some one can not make a different pick then I would.
 Sleeplessintheburgh
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 59
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/3/2010 4:44:49 PM
Freetime-

Get down off your own little high-horse there, mister. I read your history and you are the king of calling people names and bringing completely unrelated insults into virtually every thread in which you post. You CONSTANTLY insult people for their weight and turn nearly every topic into a personal rant on obesity. One has only to READ your words for verification of this indisputable fact. In this thread alone need I remind you that it was YOU that began insisting that from the looks of their profile pictures- no one in this “group” would be capable of the level of physical activity that you are capable of. Pishah!! I, for one, am a perfectly fit physical education teacher who participates in triathlons every year and find your assertions to be laughable at best. But even believing that I am almost certainly in better physical condition than you are--- I would never have tried to turn that knowledge into why I am somehow better (or even better off) than you, the other posters, or their children for crying out loud! Come on, buddy… Get real.

Now---- let's get to tackling your absurd, and yet chronic, assertion that your pro-abortion stance is also the most widely held belief by “most people” or “the majority.” How so? From where did you derive your statistical data to support your claims, as I would like to look into this? As one of those dreaded “religious types” that you like to lambaste- I find it hard to believe your emphatic ‘and the whole world agrees with me-like’ assertions, when statistically- THE (true) MAJORITY of people do, in fact, practice some sort of religion which forbids, or at the very least frowns upon, abortion…
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 60
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:19:42 AM
To your abortion question: With 75% supporting it in cases of birth defects I think we can call this a fact. A majority oppose overturning Roe v. Wade, but some have issues with late abortions. This being about birth defects (on topic) 75% support it!!!
http://people-press.org/commentary/?analysisid=119
They show divergent levels of support for abortion in cases of birth defects – in the General Social Survey, 75% said a woman should be able to obtain a legal abortion "if there is a strong chance of a serious defect;" CNN/USA Today/Gallup found smaller majorities support if the baby "may be…impaired" either mentally or physically.
The public has long been strongly supportive of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision, which established a woman's right to abortion. In July, the Pew Research Center found that by more than two-to-one (65%-29%), the public opposed completely overturning Roe.

" I, for one, am a perfectly fit physical education teacher who participates in triathlons every year "
With an Average Body Type and no pic, okay if you say so, but if true, you would understand the importance of getting out there. Not many people with major birth defects running a triathon are there?
"Come on, buddy… Get real." Same to you buddy lol.
 Sleeplessintheburgh
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 61
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:51:57 AM
Original thread question:

"Just wondering what you single ladies would do if a guy told you early on that he had primary custody of a kid with Down Syndrome? My daughter is 9 years old, extremely mild mannered, and as cute as can be but as soon as I get into detail about her, things come to a grinding halt. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!"

Freetime- I could lay ALL KINDS of data on you to completely counter your pro-abortion argument as I found so much that it was staggering, to say the least. However, the topic that you so emphatically keep telling everyone else to stay on was never, ever telling the guy who started this thread by asking the above question that he should have had his child aborted to begin with... Now was it? Far from the "words of wisdom" he'd requested about how to deal with a situation that already IS his reality. It's like me telling you that you could have been a sensitive, caring human being "if only" you'd been raised better and to be less self-indulgent, perhaps... Too late now, isn't it? Furthermore- he'd asked any "single ladies" the question. Isn't that right, Mam?

As for your people with birth defects not running a triathlon barb--- ever hear of "The Special Olympics"???
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 62
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:10:33 AM
"Far from the "words of wisdom" he'd requested about how to deal with a situation that already IS his reality"
But it was you that requested it! "Now---- let's get to tackling your absurd, and yet chronic, assertion that your pro-abortion stance is also the most widely held belief by “most people” or “the majority.” How so?"
Rember two post ago when you asked the question? That is how the forums work they grow and change as people ask questions like you did in Msg #65. Ask a question get the data asked for and then say what does that have to do with the OP lol. You are playing games now, but I all ready knew you were just a troll.

On the abortion data argument I think actions say more then words.
But while expectant parents now routinely and proudly show ultrasound pictures of their developing baby, there is a darker side to prenatal testing. Besides ultrasound, which can show some birth defects, blood tests like AFP testing and the Triple Screen to test for neural tube defects or Down Syndrome are now becoming a routine part of prenatal care. Amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling are also widely available tests to detect problems in the developing baby. It seems that every year, new testing techniques are tried and older ones refined in the quest to find birth defects prenatally.
97% of the time, women receive the good news that their baby seems fine; but the tests are not foolproof, and they can only test for hundreds of the thousands of known birth defects. Relatively few such birth defects can be treated in the womb at the present time. Some women want testing so that they can prepare for a child who has a birth defect, but when the tests do show a possible problem like Down Syndrome, up to 90% of women will abort.
You asked for it not him.


 Sleeplessintheburgh
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 63
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 1:53:30 PM
fedhill22, I would like to apologize to you.

It was genuinely never my intention to get involved in a pi$$ing contest with someone else on your thread. I came across his posts and was absolutely appalled by what he was saying. I couldn't believe that others were "playing" his game with him, and the next thing I knew--- I too, was somehow drawn in... I don't know how it happened other than to say that I don't participate in these forums much and I guess I am only human. I let his unrelenting audacity and insensitivity to you and the others with special needs children irk me beyond measure.

Please know that it was never my intent to belittle your thread in any way. By now I am sure that you know that most women would much rather have a selfless, caring, loving father such as yourself for a mate than one who had calculatingly aborted a beautiful child such as yours. You will find the woman worthy of you both. God bless.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 64
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 7:36:51 PM
most people are selfish. it is nearly impossible to find a partner with a big enough heart, empathy and compassion to have the patience to deal with our "baggage".
Noooooooooo, they won't say it to our face. Actions speak their words.
I can't find a good man who isn't full of schit,lying or playing games. They don't want to love our kids.
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 65
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:14:49 PM
i work with special needs children...for me it is no big deal...a child is a child...best of luck
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 66
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:17:38 PM
tofreetime...for you having a special needs child is a curse...that is your opinion...not everyone is like you...also many of the special needs children are able to participate in activities ...it just tkaes them a little longer time to do it...they can go swimming, dancing, playing bowling and climbing ropes and more...there are camps and they enjoy those activities...you should inquire and educate yourself...you are ignorants and you sound like an idiot when you express yourself.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 67
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 4:44:29 AM
Yes, I know about the camps and that special needs children can enjoy themselves at them. These are a good thing for them. I just do not wish to take part in these activities. Being honest, like the poster above you stated, is a quality many people do not have. By being honest and stating I would not enjoy taking part in activities with special needs kids and my children would not enjoy these activities also is just the truth. Most people have better things to do, they just will not say it. My post on testing and elective abortions, is backed up by the data. This is not uneducated or ignorant. May be you should educate yourself on the facts. I encourage testing, not because I wish bad things for special needs children that have all ready been born, I encourage testing for birth defects so less children will be born with them. This is a good goal in my book even if some right to life religious types do not think so. They resort to name calling because using facts will not support them or their efforts and name calling is all they have left.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 68
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 6:36:12 AM
there is alot of ignorance and plain ole stupidity
i can't wait for one of you type of people to get sick with cancer
be terminally ill
have to pay for it out of everything that you saved
be chronically in pain
where your illness or disability can't be cured
maybe lose an arm or a leg
have a family member be maimed
then people of your cruelly judgmental being
will get a taste of your own medicine
OH
sorry to be honest
 speedracer777
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 69
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 7:03:50 AM
I have a little brother with downs. He is severe. Maybe try meeting people who work in the field or social services. They tend to be more open hearted!! I know it would not sway me in anyway. I have lived it and they are angels!!
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 70
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 7:12:05 AM
i love my kids
yes, even my destructive autistic son that drives me crazy
people
are blessings from God
and people should have more gratitude and grace
my son is the sweetest, smartest little lock picker on earth
he is a runner
"Yes. Children that do what my son does are called runners"
Gates is autistic.
Nicholas Cage is bipolar
Barbara Bush is unipolar
where is humanity in these animals with a superiority attitude?
they are THE FREAKS
not normal human people
who are NOT perfect
HEY,I have news for you
all humans are sinners
the only perfect being is God!!!!!
MOM
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 71
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Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 1:58:28 PM
"i can't wait for one of you type of people to get sick with cancer
be terminally ill
have to pay for it out of everything that you saved
be chronically in pain
where your illness or disability can't be cured
maybe lose an arm or a leg
have a family member be maimed
then people of your cruelly judgmental being
will get a taste of your own medicine"


This does seem to be the Christian way when you do not agree with them on something. Being honest and wishing bad things really not the same thing for some of us any ways. And they think they are better too. WTF
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 73
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 6:02:53 PM

there is alot of ignorance and plain ole stupidity
i can't wait for one of you type of people to get sick with cancer
be terminally ill
have to pay for it out of everything that you saved
be chronically in pain
where your illness or disability can't be cured
maybe lose an arm or a leg
have a family member be maimed
then people of your cruelly judgmental being
will get a taste of your own medicine


You are a Christian? That sounds more like a Middle Eastern Taliban mindest than it does a Christian one. Isnt one of the tenets of your religion that Jesus died to save mankind from their sins and wrongdoings?
You seriously wish cancer and loss of limbs and the maiming of family memebers to people who disagree with you? Goodness gracious. I too have a son who has miuld mental retardation, and i am pro-life and would not choose to abort a disabled child, but it is my right to make that choice, just as it it others right to make choices, that no matter how much i may disagree with, are still their choices. Ita their life and i have no right to tell someone to birth a disabled child, just as they have none to tell me not to birth one.
The world is diverse, and if you wish harm upon people who choose to live life differently than you do, i hear the Al-Quada is recruiting.............
 daydreamin_honey
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 74
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 7:56:02 PM

vivaciousvixen2009
i love my kids
yes, even my destructive autistic son that drives me crazy
people
are blessings from God
and people should have more gratitude and grace
my son is the sweetest, smartest little lock picker on earth
he is a runner
"Yes. Children that do what my son does are called runners"
Gates is autistic.
Nicholas Cage is bipolar
Barbara Bush is unipolar
where is humanity in these animals with a superiority attitude?
they are THE FREAKS
not normal human people
who are NOT perfect
HEY,I have news for you
all humans are sinners
the only perfect being is God!!!!!
MOM


You said it so nicely.
There is a reason I am up front with people about my son. If they can't handle a special child, they can't handle my life and it isn't fair to either of us to pretend. My son has shown me things in life that I would never have seen on my own. Example - Last week one of our dogs was attacked and killed by coyotes. After burying the dog, my son came up and gave me a hug and told me "Fluffy's in heaven with Grandpa Larry now. Grandpa Larry loves dogs Mom. He's taking care of our puppies too." My 7yo son, whose only exposure to christianity is Veggie Tales, has shown me how easy it is to believe in something bigger than us. He may not understand sarcasm or jokes, but he understands compassion with no limits. I wish more "normal" people could take a lesson from our wonderful "special" children. The world would be a much better place.

OP, some others have made great suggestions and I am personally glad to have heard them myself. Special Olympics, support groups, people who work with or have family that are in similar situations, all great ideas! I would suggest being open and upfront about your daughter so there's no wasted time with women that don't "fit" :)
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 75
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/5/2010 8:50:39 PM
i love my kids. My children come first. They need me. They are still babies.
Beautiful loving children who give big hugs and big kisses every day.
chilren are blessings from God
Jesus states,"come to me as children"
there is heaven
there is hell
i am not to judge, i leave that to the Lord
he will judge all human beings by our heart!
You sound like hitler's areal attitude
Areál československého opevnění Šatov - Wikipedie, otevřená ...
Areál je ve správě Technického muzea v Brně a zahrnuje dva pěchotní ... srub MJ-S 2 prohlédl i Adolf Hitler, na střeše objektu byla vybudována vyhlídková plošina ...
cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Are%C3%A1l_%C4%8Deskoslovensk%C3%A9...
I will pray for you.
C~
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 76
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History
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 5:23:44 AM
Religion often really does cloud ones ability to engage in a real an open discussion on topics like abortion. For a poster to go on about wishing cancer, loss of limbs and family member being maimed to those that do not hold the same beliefs on abortion, then to post "I will pray for you". I say no thank you. I do not want you to pray for me. I do not believe in your god, I do not believe god has anything to do with children having birth defects or that children are gifts from god. It is fine if you wish to hold to ideas like this or let your children believe that pets go to heaven when they are killed if you wish, but I do not believe them. I do believe testing for birth defects and for some elective abortions, education on prenatal care and diet can have a real impact on reducing the number of children born with birth defects and I believe this is a good goal to have.

Sweetness, nice to know some Christians are able to engage in a debate with out going to name calling, wishing terminal illnesses on others or simply saying "it's gods will", but from what I have seen your not typical of how christens act. The typical Christian response does not seem logical, but more that that it seems to be evil. Who could read some of the post here and think the christian mind set is a good thing, even with the one exception I have seen on this thread. I don't get it at all and some really believe they are better then those of us that don't believe the way they do. Education, knowledge and open debate, not praying, can make a difference.
 daydreamin_honey
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 77
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 9:51:13 AM
freetime, I have tried to avoid responding to you, but your high horse has to be taken down. Maybe your mother should have considered an elective abortion to prevent your ignorance from clouding the world. Your grammar and spelling are atrocious! I don't know what your mother did to give you such a superiority complex, but there is no reason to tell those of us with "imperfect" children that we shouldn't have had them so the world would be a better place to YOU.
I'm not a bible thumping Christian, but I certainly believe in Karma. I don't have to wish your illness or bodily injury, it's clear you're already bringing them upon yourself with your ugly words.

All children are blessings, ALL of them, EVEN YOU (before you became this ugly person you are now). Your statements sound like the rantings of Hitler to be honest, purify the gene pool.

My son has taught me more about life than I feel I can possibly teach him. I wouldn't change him for the world! Not even on the days I want to cry from frustration. He is special, he is unique and he is incredible!
How about my daughter? She has a heart murmur, should I have chosen not to have her because that might slow down some crazy life I could have otherwise? HELL NO!

You are one sick puppy, freetime, and i'm so glad you have filtered yourself out of soooo many people's dating potential with your own ignorance. At least it's less likely that you will be adding your pollution to the gene pool again this way.
 freetime2bme
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 78
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History
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 10:25:09 AM
Said by you: "there is no reason to tell those of us with "imperfect" children that we shouldn't have had them so the world would be a better place to YOU." Msg 83
Said by me:"Why I am for testing and elective abortions. The key word here is elective. So, the people that do not feel like I do, do not have to do it. " Msg 59 and others

You are attempting to change what I have said and that is one more outrageous tactic used by the anti abortion crusaders. If facts will not work go to name calling, if name calling will not work go to the lies, but the lies will not work here ether. You do not have to believe in my views on abortion, but they are not only my views they are the views of the majority as all ready pointed out in earlier post which included web links. I am sorry your life is so painful that you often cry from frustration. I would never wish that on anyone, not even some one who would attack me in the ways you did in your post. Your post and some of the other posters comments have only solidified my views and feelings on this subject, because I see angry, bitter and even evil posts coming from a group that tries to say that special needs children only bring joy and happiness. I wish you and your family only the best. That is what I wish for others also and is why I have made the post I have. Knowledge and facts will help others in making their choices if they have testing done and are notified of possible birth defects. I believe if these same people were to read the post made by you and some of the other posters on this thread you to will be helping them make the same pick I would. Because it would not be joy and happiness that they would see.
 slowdad
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 79
Single Dad w/Special Needs Child - Down Syndrome
Posted: 2/6/2010 1:54:56 PM
Well Im not a single lady :) but wanted to tell you that your not alone in this. It is hard balancing your adult life with being a single dad, sometimes you just don’t have one but it will get better. The things that I have learned from being a single dad is to always put children first, let them know you love them and attempt to find some free time to meet someone. There will only be a few ladies that you can click with then even fewer that can understand and be willing to work with you. So stay positive and look for your special girl..I have always heard she appears when you least expect it :)
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