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 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 79
What kind of man turns his back on his child?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
And to add to the rock's statement there seem to be an AWFUL lot of women who do not insist their men wear a condom.
PLUS if you look at that it appears that for many women on a subconscious level not insisting is a possible win/win situation. They please their man and are not all that put out if they end up with a kid.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 81
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What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/26/2010 8:18:43 PM
Erasersedge, Your comments here make me want to gag. Are you serious, or just a guy that wants to stir the pot... maybe you should go smoke another gagger and then come back with another siteful comment.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 83
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 4:54:10 AM
Erasersedge, Your comments here make me want to gag. Are you serious, or just a guy that wants to stir the pot... maybe you should go smoke another gagger and then come back with another siteful comment.--- Bluemiss
Learning about spelling and grammar will go a long way if you are trying to insults someone's intelligence.

Speaking of gagging, at least I don't have alcohol or derivatives mentioned as interests on my profile but based on many women here I imagine that was a factor ( a strong one ) in how they could have tolerated the mothers of the children they had accidents with the first time.

Seriously everyone lies. Self preservation, tact, or just trying to get by BUT everyone does. My point was merely to focus that there is great deal difference in how many men will act or do for a child they wanted as opposed to one they MUST azsume responsibility for due to lack of diligence on his or the partner he shared orgasms with.

Keeping a child based on a sense of responsibility for having successful sex? isn't always the best course of action. You simply cannot force someone to be a parent.
Berating them for this fasct does not help you or make you be more of a hero for doing so.

Like another poster has said, it wouldn't matter what answer a "man" gave for turning his back because these threads aren't really looking for the truth or answers.
It is yet just another way to vent their frustrations for maybe making what they thought the "responsible" decision.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 85
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 6:24:00 AM
Perhaps liz, you should allow her to read them now, just so she gets a better understanding of how you view the world. I think you might look as rosy in her eyes as you delude yourself to be.
Your frustrations with the guy who left you to fend for yourself is so rooted in every keystroke that your posts reek of hatred for most people especially men.

Make sure you give her the chance to read everything - not just what you think (and i use that word lightly) she should see. She may come to the same conclusion I have on why your alone.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 86
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What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 9:05:41 AM
Erasersedge.I'm not trying to insult your intelligance, I am trying to insult your ignorance.Do you ever have anything positive to say, about anything? I can feel your obvious hate and negativity for women coming out in most of your posts.Maybe that is why you are single, ya think?How is my spelling and grammar....:laugh

If you are a perfect person and do everything right in your life,then please excuse me.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 87
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 11:03:48 AM
Gee, bluemiss, might I turn your attention to yet another thread by another single mom who has similar control issues as you. In it we see how she was impregnated by a man who she once thought worthy of sharing orgasms with but now with the impending child on the way she no longer wants him. Sound familiar?

You can guess all you want about why I say the things I do in response to some of the idiotic posts here but I'm pretty sure I am bang on in most of my theories. You can also guess all you wish as to why I am single and I'm pretty sure you'd be way off there too.

All too often here it always comes down to control. And controlling is so much easier when you have the law on your side. And your spelling still sucks.
 kissmyasthma
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 89
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 11:29:10 AM
Sure jenn, this coming from the girl who isn't still pissed about a truck payment, no child support who dated a guy who had no bad habits until after the child came along.
Now that's funny.
 BLUEMISS
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 91
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What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:30:48 PM
Erasersedge,Yes, every woman that gets pregnant out of wedlock did it to trap the man and get his money. We are all that stupid...according to the word of erasersedge. In a perfect world, every man and woman would love their kids. There would be no single parents. No divorce.....and on and on. Which category do you fit in...please enlighten us to your situation and how your kids feel about you !

Why can't you have some compassion and take people for their word instead of projecting your ignorance and negativity.Me thinks your ex really did a number on your head.Right? That comment was dragged from as low as some of your comments come from. How do you like it?

And for your info I am not trying to control my ex.We have a pretty good relationship.We are both smart enough to realize that our son comes first. Sometimes ego gets in the way ,but we can resolve our issues,even if we have to argue first to get there.So give up on that.

Jenn
 Hiiwayman
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 92
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/27/2010 8:43:23 PM
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Just like the woman who kills her unborn child. Very Very selfish.
 SunshineGem
Joined: 10/26/2009
Msg: 94
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 2/28/2010 12:06:14 PM
I have a few things to comment on. To Erasersedge and other ppl bashing him, when did this forum become about spelling or intelligence? There are a few choice words I could say to him or the rest of you, but this forum is not to attack one another. It’s in regards to helping out the girl that originally posted her concern about the guy not being around. I’m not sure if you read my post from earlier, but the guy I was involved with, for over a year, I believed he was a good person and had good intentions. When women believes a man would be around and/or supportive in some way, and brings a child into this world, then it’s hard to not to blame him for his actions or lack of in the situation, when the guy told you a bunch of lies which you thought weren’t at one point. A lot of posts I have read indicate a selfish person would do this and I have to agree. I would also go to the point of labeling them as a sociopath if they have other characteristics that fit the description, as does the guy in my situation. Maybe this will help everyone who is struggling with how ppl, man or women, can turn their backs on their children (with no life threatening reason to run from the situation).
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 96
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/2/2010 10:43:27 AM

Of course it takes two. But why do so many women place all the responsibility on the man?

This cracks me up!! As a former single mother - docking a paycheck for a few measly burgers is hardly 'all the responsibility'! Try being there 24/7 for 18 or 20 years! Through the diapers, the colic, the daycare, the sleepless nights, the injuries, the sicknesses, adolescence and tweens, puberty.... THAT is all the responsibility!!
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 97
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/3/2010 8:58:38 PM
There is one thing I believe works against women in situations like the OP. Everything is focussed on her. Meaning, the man probably walked away because everything indicates it's all about her. If you look at it from the perspective of the OP having the abortion, she would clearly expect the man to turn his back on the situation and forget the pregnancy ever happened..... I'm just sayin'

When a guy doesn't want to keep the child and the woman forces his hand to "man-up" from a one-night stand kinda thing, I could see how the man excercised his rights to turn his back on the MOTHER. Unfortunately, that also involves turning his back on the child - a natural sequence of consequences.
In this case:

My son was planned, and he still turned his back on us when I was three months pregnant, were together for 3 years! explain that one, what kind of man was he!??

That's difficult to say. It certainly appears as though he is totally irresponsible.

I know of many men who agree to have a baby because the woman wanted to have a baby and was relentless until she got what she wanted. As well, maybe your son was planned by you, not him - who knows? In these forums it's difficult to ascertain the legitimate claims as opposed to the nuerotic, unreasonable people who are well learned in being victims (angry). The use/application of "us" and "I", along with the exclamation points in your post kinda sends a negative signal about you.

I may be wrong, god knows I've been wrong twice this year so far - fortunately, the one time it wasn't my fault .

I'm not making excuses for these guys because there is no excuse for them. But, if he's an uncaring person you really won't get much from him. I think the abortion issue and not including input from the father truly works against a woman. If you don't care about his opinion regarding abortion, I don't think you should be surprised when he doesn't care about you.
 kayleesdaddy
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 98
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:53:00 AM
after reading a short few responses i couldnt belive what some of the guys said to you on here a man takes up and supports a child not runs for a possible piece of ass or play time if you run from what you make your a f???ing loser ive raised my baby by myself
i tell you when your child starts asking about him and the child will then you tell that child the truth whatever it may be and you do your best for that child this is a tragedy that men and or women think its ok to ditch a child and people replying are no better when they said that mean cruel stuff the people of today was yesterdays children and the of tommorrow are todays children without a loving family what chance do these children have sincerly dale
 obflorida
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 99
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/4/2010 9:51:11 AM
Find him and sue him for child support, then he is more likely to be in the childs life. Even though YOU may not want him in your life the child needs to know its Dad. I would make him pay because he participated in the sex act without protection and should be held responsible at least financiallly if not as a father.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 100
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:05:11 PM
I understand your questions more than you may know, I was in the same situation 2 years ago. I have had health issues in the past and doctors have told me not to be surprised if I am never able to concieve, I met a guy and I thought I was in love, I ended up pregnant after the first time we ever had sex. When I told him I was pregnant he knew I wasnt going to give it up so he simply asked when he could sign over his rights. My daughter was born and she is truly an angel and my everything. He has seen her only once and that was because I had to go to court and I didnt have a sitter to watch her. He refuses to talk to me and to see her, he pays child support only because the state makes him, and now he is getting married and his fiance knows nothing about my daughter, he dosent heve acknowledge that she exists. I know what you are going through is hard believe me, I know better than most but the thing is, when you have your child you will begin to make plans for your life and all the things you want to do and when you stop and think about it the only people in the picture are you and your son. Men can be cruel and selfish, and most of the time they really dont care. I know you are worried about your son feeling unwanted by his father, my daughter is 16 months old now and I worry about that same thing all the time and eventually the question will come up but the trick is to let your son know how much you love him and just because his father was selfish and irresponsible has no bearing on your sons self worth, and when the time comes you can let him ask his father those questions thats what I intend to do. You have to look at it this way, you got the best part of him and he can never change that, here soon you are going to have a little piece of total perfection in your arms and when you do you will realize that it was all worth it and all the other will seem so mundane. I cant tell you to forget about him because that isnt going to happen, I think about him everyday, but what I do when it happens is think, does my child really NEED him? The answer will come easily, no. Being a single parent is hard, harder than most people know, its an everyday struggle, but at the end of the day there is nothing in the world that is better. So here is my final advice to you, get as much rest as possible while you are still pregnant lol, and once that sweet angel comes into this world you spoil him every chance you get, and always let him know he was wanted and is infinitly loved. And dont worry so much about the other, karma is a bigger **** than you will ever be and he will get his in the end, I promise you that.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 101
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/6/2010 11:07:52 PM
Just because a man is paying child support is not going to make him want to be a parent, if he dosent want to be a parent then he is not going to be. And another thing dont tell people that a child NEEDS their father because they dont, most of the time these men will cause more harm than good to these children. If you arent a single parent and have not lived the expierience then you dont need to be giving advice on the subject.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 102
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What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 12:33:42 AM

If you aren't a single parent and have not lived the experience then you don't need to be giving advice on the subject.


Oh the age old and tired "if you haven't experienced it, then you can't have any input." Seriously?
I've never put my hand in a blender before. I'm sure it feels fantastic.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 104
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 4:37:53 AM

If you arent a single parent and have not lived the expierience then you dont need to be giving advice on the subject

^^^ When people reason as you do, it really makes me wonder if all your ducks are in a row - if you know what I mean.
Seriously. You're a female yet, you claim to know what most males are like:

Men can be cruel and selfish, and most of the time they really dont care

Yuo are too young to begin thinking like that. MOST men are responsible parents. Unfortunately, when you're single and you get pregnant the very first time you have sex, the odds of the guy behaving properly are not that good. As I said, MOST men are responsible fathers.
It appears as though you and your ex were both irresponsible. You shouldn't have unprotected sex just because a doctor says you won't get pregnant - there are other concerns you're obviously ignoring. As a consequence, you're a single mom and he's a paying father.... put blame where it belongs.

just because his father was selfish and irresponsible has no bearing on your sons self worth

The father was just as irresponsible as you were...... you shouldn't be taking the position you are because time will reveal all. Your child will eventually learn the truth about you and the father. *sigh*
Maybe focus on raising a healthy minded child and stop talking about one adult being less responsible than the other - because you're wrong. God forbid you do the same thing over again with another person.

does my child really NEED him? The answer will come easily, no

Then why are you posting such grief? Get on with your life and stop focussing on things your child DOES NOT NEED.

karma is a bigger **** than you will ever be and he will get his in the end, I promise you that.

You seem to think karma is gender bias.
Keep preaching hate against the father - all you're doing is diminishing any hope of the father having a change of heart somewhere down the road. If your child seeks out his dad in the future and learns you created barriers (hate, anger) karma may pay you a visit - I can speak first hand about an angry mom (my ex) who eventually lost all her children to the father (me). She too, spoke exactly like you did and developed the attitude you display.

As I stated before, some women create the problems of father abandonment when they become angry and bitter with someone (biological father) who isn't in love with them and never was in love with them. It seems some of these female sex partners feel there was more to the relationship than sex - and there never was. Approach the father as if he's a partner in parenting as opposed to being the sperm donor.... ya never know what could happen eventually.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 106
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 11:05:14 AM
[ You shouldn't have unprotected sex just because a doctor says you won't get pregnant - there are other concerns you're obviously ignoring. As a consequence, you're a single mom and he's a paying father.... put blame where it belongs.]
Ohhh yes you must be such a authority on the subject, I am taking responsibility for my child, I have taken care of her since the day she was born and just because a man pays a little bit for child support every month hardly means that he is taking responsibility for said child.

[You seem to think karma is gender bias.
Keep preaching hate against the father - all you're doing is diminishing any hope of the father having a change of heart somewhere down the road. If your child seeks out his dad in the future and learns you created barriers (hate, anger) karma may pay you a visit - I can speak first hand about an angry mom (my ex) who eventually lost all her children to the father (me). She too, spoke exactly like you did and developed the attitude you display.]
[As I stated before, some women create the problems of father abandonment when they become angry and bitter with someone (biological father) who isn't in love with them and never was in love with them. It seems some of these female sex partners feel there was more to the relationship than sex - and there never was. Approach the father as if he's a partner in parenting as opposed to being the sperm donor.... ya never know what could happen eventually.]

I have never tried to keep my daughters father from seeing her, I have always been civil when speaking to him, and on more than one occasion I have all but begged him to come and see her. I am not creating abandonment I am not one of those women who wont let a man see their child because they man isnt in love with me, I know he isnt and he never will be, and thats fine with me. I have the attitude that I should have and I have NEVER and will NEVER create barriers to where he cannot see her, there are visitation orders that I requested saying that he can see her and he has never taken advantage of those to actually try to see her. I agree that most men are good parents but there is also an extremely large group of men that are not, and it is not the womans fault in the majority of those situations. I would love for my daughters father to come and see her but the fact of the matter is it will most likely never happen.

I wrote what I wrote to help a person who seems to be going through exactly what I am going through. You need to stop and think that there are men out there that are not like you, men that when they found out the woman was pregnant did indeed run, men that do not want anything to do with their child not because of the mother but because of his own selfishness. You need to realize these things, I did not want my daughter to grown up not knowing her father but that is out of my hands and I cannot do anything about it.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 107
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 11:25:22 AM
And another thing why is it when a woman gets pregnant unexpectedly she is trying to trap the man? It is possible to get pregnant while you are using protection, it happens all the time. I was on birth control when I got pregnant, contrary to some beliefs you can get pregnant when you are on the pill especially when you are taking certain antibiotics for a respiratory infection. I have the utmost respect for all single parents and that is not limited to the women, I have a good friend that is a man and has been raising his son alone for the past 7 years, his sons mother sees him maybe once a year. The fact of the matter is the number of single parents is growing significantly and since a pregnant woman cant easily run away from their child the majority of single parents are women raising their children alone. When I got pregnant I knew he was not in love with me and I never thought I can get pregnant and he will love me... I agree some women do that, I know a few who the man wants to see their kids but the woman wont let it happen because they arent together. The only thing I know to tell my child is that her father had no idea how beautiful and wonderful she was going to be and didnt want to be a father. I have no intentions on bashing her father to her becuase it is my opinion that she will make her own decisions about what kind of man he is and she dosent need my help.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 108
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 1:51:06 PM
[quote My response to your question:
This type man can be likened to the same kind of woman who would drive a wedge between a responsible father and his children just because she can and she needs to power trip. There seems to be many from both genders who could care less about the children to spite the other parent./quote]

And you are talking about me being biased, the truth of the matter is yes, there are many men out there raising a child on there own; however, there are a great many more women raising children alone because the men would rather be doing something else and could care less. Nobody really knows what you are going through just like you really dont know what everyone else is going through so you need to stop putting all the blame on everyone else because like you told me maybe one day your children will start to think and will realize that both of you are to blame, isnt that what you said to me? Kinda works both ways dont it?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 109
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What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 6:34:09 PM

Somebody who approves abortion has no right to complain when a man abandons a mother and a child. After all, paraphrasing some feminist mantra: "HIS body, HIS choice".


Forgive me, but as a stand alone argument, the above simply doesn't work. Your effort to redirect the discussion may well result in vehement discussion about the lack of control men have once a woman becomes pregnant, but the argument doesn't work. Just because you see a potential birth as a human being, many disagree. It is not at all unlikely that proponents of abortion do not see a fetus as a baby. We don't have to agree, but it does make your argument invalid. Abortion is a personal issue, and one who chooses to abort is shirking a responsibility to some, but not to others. The legal system has decided that a fetus is not a baby (at least not until a definite period of time has passed), thus abortion is legal. Once a baby is born, there is a legal responsibility on both parents to care for the child. As for your "HIS BODY....", what about his body? Is asking asking for control over his body? Is HE able to give birth? Merely inflammatory, your statement makes no sense whatever.
 Ldy4MrRgt
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 110
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 7:16:51 PM
In answer to the original question, NO "MAN".. he's a selfish **stard! And even IF he had anything to do with you or his kid, he probably is fully unequipped to be a good dad. It takes a LOT more to FATHER a child than donating sperm.

Listen, sweety, I had seven kids by four different dads! They all walked out and didn't take responsibility for their kids! Among them: I have beautiful 11 yr old twin daughters now. I saw their bio dad only one time. Afterwards, he denied it, saying he used the "withdrawal method".. MORON! He still tells others he has no kids. He's the one missing out, believe me! My girls are the move beautiful, awesome, talented kids on the face of the earth and not a day goes by I don't give thanks to God for bringing them into my life!

You concentrate on your baby! Be thankful for what you've got and forget the rest! Keep peace within your spirit by focusing on the baby and helping it grow to be the person you can be proud of. And let the rest of it go! It's the only way you will survive without bringing bitterness and heartache to your child. My children thank me every day and tell me I'm the "best mom ever"! They never ask me why they didn't have a dad or what happened to him. So, see, it all depends upon your attitude.

Believe me, I know it's not easy! I was there and I survived with God's help. You can too! Know I'm thinking about you and praying for you too. Come back here and post so I know you're doin ok. Take good care.


Much love,
R--
 Ldy4MrRgt
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 111
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 7:24:37 PM
Agree Amanda! NO form of birth control is 100% effective, except abstinance!

I learned the hard way that it's healthier, safer and better for my spiritual walk to "JUST SAY NO" to sex! Be careful ladies! You know a**holes who will say ANYTHING they think you want to hear just to get in your pants!

How many know how effective having sex with just a condom alone from preventing pregnancy? Do your homework people! Take care of yourself!

I learned the hard way and raising SEVEN kids alone is NO FUN! Yeah, you guys who want to criticize me: I DO know how to not make it happen. And thank God I also know now how to spot a user a mile away!
 Ldy4MrRgt
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 112
What kind of man turns his back on his child?
Posted: 3/7/2010 7:34:43 PM
The kind of man who wants to screw around and never take responsibility for the natural consequence of his actions!

With good reason, to avoid obvious heartache, God gave us a rule for good living in that we should not have sex without an honorable commitment between two people. For this reason, as there are men like this who would rather play, and children ultimately are the innocent victims of these bad choices.

When you have sex, you are spiritally BOUND to that individual: "opting out" and walking away is NOT an option, as you will face a final judgement for your decisions.
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