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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > pof is just a waste of time      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 26
pof is just a waste of timePage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
And to everyone else who was so insecure they needed to rip apart the OP and insult him... he are some spiritual and psychological realitys.

It is completely normal to feel angry, bitter and maybe even a little bit hostile when you feel rejected in life. I am taking a psychology class for nursing school right now and we are being trained how to identify possable mental illness in people and one of the first warning signs is people that do not react normally to life stressors. Now if the OP is drinking or turns to negative actions to cope with his problems that is when he has a sincere problem.

The responses most of you have put are are completely abnormal. They are ignorant, cruel, lacking in any sense of true wisdom, childish, without any sense of love and are an example of why our society is so corrupt today. Your attitudes (not the OP's) are everything that is wrong with the world today and you are a representation of our society that is crumbling and taking you all down with it. I plead with you to change the way YOU think.

I do not claim to know everything. God knows I have a whole list of issues I am working out in my life but the arrogance and cruelity you have displayed only leads spiritual distruction and I would really just beg of you to re-evaluate your lifes.
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 27
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:01:35 AM
^^^^What you say is of course completely true . . .however,

this world IS a cold cruel place and it's better to realize, accept and acknowledge that.

Then, by using ones intellect, figure out the best way to live with it, rather then being naive and constantly disappointed.

The GREATEST revelation of my life (so far) was that our feelings follow our belief systems, and not the other way around! That is a massive revelation! Since you can change your belief systems, although for some not very easily, you can change your feelings.

The OP has a belief system that clearly does not serve him well!
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 28
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 9:38:16 AM
Handy,

That is a pretty profound revolution. I had a simular revelation years back whereas I learned that I can become the person I need to be as long as I believe in God and trust he can sculpt me into what I need to be.

I do agree also that if this is the OP's genuine state of mind then this can be very dangerous for him in the long run but I also perceive that this may just be a short term reaction to feelings of rejection. I may be wrong but it really seemed that way.

I do agree also that we have to find a way to see the world as it is learn how to adapt and react to it. Although, I do not believe that adaption means become as cruel and ignorant as most people are (not that you suggested that) and, on a spiritual level, I do not believe that the world is ALWAYS going to be like this. I do have hope in a day where Jesus will come back and reclaim the earth in love (don't know if you share those same beliefs but I was just tossing it out there) and only the meek and gentle will inherit it.

p.s. you seem like a really cool and wise man and I appreciate that. Have a great day!
 Wstlcoguy66
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 29
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 12:38:49 PM
Don't give up just take a break.
Hide your profile and circle-back again later.

Keep your profile on-line, don't send-out any "first-communications" and see who contacts you. If no-one you'd care to meet contacts you, then so be it. Check your mailbox weekly, not daily.

You will meet a good person IN person.
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 30
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:22:14 PM
Wstlcoguy...

Couldn't agree with you more. You came here with some honest, good advice and I that it says alot about your good character

whenwillthisend....

Honestly dude... what is your problem and where do you get off talking down to everyone in the way you almost always do. Don't you have anything constructive to say? It is just so childish and lame.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 31
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:59:42 PM
for those commenting on this OP that didnt see his profile, I cant see how you can comment on the poor guy.

His profile was scarey, rude, insulting and downright ignorant.

Everyone gets frustrated and most will just hide their profile for a while and get back to the real world.. This guy was on here for 10 whole days, went totally wacko with a poor me rant wondering why he wasnt getting any interest. Pretty obvious why... but again.... if you didnt read his profile for yourself, you can boohoo with him all you want. Im not interesting in joining in the pity party any more than the others who did get a chance to look at his profile to see what the problem was before he deleted it and headed back under the bridge from whence he came.
 Crashton
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 32
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:00:34 PM
Amen sir! I am glad you calmly analyzed this problem Dineh. I have to agree with the original poster. The women on here all say they are looking for the perfect guy but fail to actually go further than saying just as much. There is only so much one can do to try to gain another's attention. I think the main problem we face is there are to many cracked out f*ckheads that lie about who they are. We have broken their trust and in turn we lose out. I have sent countless messages with no reply. Its obvious they were read. I didn't say anything wrong... but at the same time.. no reply? I at least have the common decency to reply to the messages I get explaining why I disagree with why we arnt a good match.. etc. I feel that women use this site as a tool to make themselves feel good about being desirable rather then actually taking the steps to get a guy.

I have met a few women on here and they all chase the guys that screw them over. Personally I don't understand that. I guess women just tend to gravitate towards self absorbed guys that could care less about the girl and in the end real guys suffer. Just convince yourself you are better off alone and when something eventually happens it will be more special. Yea... maybe thats a load of sh*t but well lying to myself is easier then lying to other people.

Realistically you should find a better outlet for your anger and disappointment. Our society is quick to point blame and rarely turns that finger upon ourselves. I myself am guilty of this. So before you blame women blame me too.
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 33
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:57:22 PM
Deb,

I come in peace with my comment because you seem like a sincere person and I do appreciate that. However, please don't speak of pity in a demeaning way. It is so sad that showing pity to people has basically become a taboo of our culture. I am not meaning to toss judgement at you I'm just saying, showing pity and mercy is a good thing and it may be the only thing that will save our souls. Remember, if you don't show pity then pity will not be shown to you. I really do say all this in love towards you though. Also, I do see your point about not seeing his profile nontheless, it would not change my stance on the fact that it seems like this person was actually crying out for help and got none. He just wanted someone out there to indentify with his problems and maybe he might find a little comfort in that. Did he go about it in the wrong way? Absolutely, without a shadow of the doubt but that is why I am on this forum not as an advocate for the posters actions but as an advocate of a loving mercy even to those who may not seem to deserve it.

I am not "boo-hooing" with him. I am saying I understand where he is coming from as a means to comfort him and I am calling out the rest of the forum as cruel, ignorant, liars.
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 34
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:59:50 PM
Crashton,

Wow! Nicely said, sir. What more can be said?
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 35
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:26:29 PM

Did he go about it in the wrong way? Absolutely, without a shadow of the doubt


Agreed However, I dont think after reading his profile that he was here for any constructive advice, or crying out for help, but merely to vent poision against "women" in general. He may very well have issues outside of POF, being here for only 10 days and having such negativity, but my goodness.. it was a scarey hair raising profile. I guess unless you had seen it, as only myself and one other poster did before he deleted... its hard to see where I am coming from.

I do respect your opinion Dineh and smile at the depth of your ablity to see the good where none may exist.

Peace be with you.
 Crashton
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 36
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:42:51 PM
The key is to first be happy with yourself. You are the one in power to make yourself happy. Once your happy people (women) will gravitate toward you. The rest will fall into place from there. If you make yourself happy because your alone then turn to God. I know several people who this has worked for. Personally thats not part of my thought process but it does work. As for dating on POF.. its more for amusement than anything at this point. Every time I write a message I just pretend the girls going to get completely offended at what I just said and laugh. Oh well.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 37
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:49:03 PM
There sure is a lot of speculation going on about an angry stranger with a vitriolic profile, who, after a “grueling” 12 DAYS on POF, went out in a blaze of glorious flame baiting.
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 38
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:16:10 AM

Absolutely, without a shadow of the doubt but that is why I am on this forum not as an advocate for the posters actions but as an advocate of a loving mercy even to those who may not seem to deserve it.

I am not "boo-hooing" with him. I am saying I understand where he is coming from as a means to comfort him and I am calling out the rest of the forum as cruel, ignorant, liars.
Dinah, I am truly touched by your compassion for your fellow man. It does crack me up that it's followed by such a nasty allegation towards everyone else.... Was that comment made because you didn't like the tone of the responses to the original post? Does it not occur to you that some of us responders didn't like the tone of the original post, and that's why we responded the way we did, AND that you are responding the exact same way to comments you didn't appreciate, as many of us did to comments WE didn't appreciate? Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees, no?

I wonder what kind of responses I would have gotten if I started a thread by saying something like: "I'm sick of you men. You're all just a bunch of phony liars, all trying to get laid. I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread, but since no one has realized that yet, I've decided all men are worthless trash, and none of you losers will ever get to experience the magnificent wonder that is me unless you get your checkbook out"


I stand by my original statement, that if one is in need of compassion, they are much more likely to get it if they ask for it in the correct tone. It's common sense, really. Reinforcing bad behavior isn't helping the OP....sooner or later we all need to take responsibility for ourselves, and use appropriate behavior and attitudes to get our needs fulfilled. Any guy that wants to make ignorant generalizations about all women, because he's feeling sorry for himself that no one wants to be around him, when he clearly doesn't bring much to the table other than a nasty attitude would get the same response from me. He posted a nasty senseless rant, and people simply responded in kind. Had he posted a thread genuinely looking for compassion and helpful suggestions, they absolutely would have been forthcoming.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 39
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:17:54 PM
couldnt have said it better myself.
 IslandBound2010
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 40
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/30/2010 3:47:12 PM
I wish I could have seen the OP's profile...he sounds like a winner alright.

OP, if you (or your defenders) are still reading this...meh. I don't even know what to say to people like this. My theory is that the OP is lashing out because of a lifetime of rejection, his short stay on POF being just the most recent example. I feel bad for people like this, I truly do, because in all honesty I was very close to going down the same road myself when I was younger.

When I was 24, 25, I came to a realization: being bitter, angry and cynical was getting me nowhere fast - in life in general, and definitely with women - and I had to do something about it. Because at the risk of sounding melodramatic - and possibly unoriginal, I think I might have heard this in a movie - I wasn't living, I was just waiting to die.

It didn't happen overnight, but I started to let go of a lot of the negative feelings and traits I had, and the change was almost immediate. I was happier; women noticed this. I started being more successful with women, which made me happier, which triggered more good times with the gals...see where I'm going with this?

I had a major setback at age 27 when a girl I had fallen in love with lied to and cheated on me, and although I'll never completely be over that, I didn't let it ruin the rest of my life, although it did ruin me as far as being suitable for any serious relationships went (for a couple of years anyways.)

Bottom line...yeah, rejection sucks, whether here or in the "real" world. On the other hand, hopefully one's happiness hinges on a lot more than whether or not they find success in dating and relationships.
 Ls2chat
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 41
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/30/2010 5:46:09 PM
this is what happens when you put too much of other peoples reactions (or lack there of) into your self worth...something eventually snaps.
 woodykinskileone
Joined: 5/31/2009
Msg: 42
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/30/2010 11:03:36 PM
So,"Honey"..I guess that makes yo better than the OP?
 ghostrider73a7x
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 43
view profile
History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/31/2010 6:00:34 PM

The women on here all say they are looking for the perfect guy but fail to actually go further than saying just as much. There is only so much one can do to try to gain another's attention. I think the main problem we face is there are to many cracked out f*ckheads that lie about who they are. We have broken their trust and in turn we lose out. I have sent countless messages with no reply. Its obvious they were read. I didn't say anything wrong... but at the same time.. no reply? I at least have the common decency to reply to the messages I get explaining why I disagree with why we arnt a good match.. etc. I feel that women use this site as a tool to make themselves feel good about being desirable rather then actually taking the steps to get a guy.


Crashton, I agree & I agree with the OP too. This site can be very frustrating. I had been on this site for almost a year & all I have gotten is one reply & the rest was
profile view/ no reply. It just seems women in the area of my state are very stuck up, snobby, & want a man that is 6'0" tall & with no flaws.
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 44
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:10:49 PM
freedom: Your complaints about POF are not gender specific.. there are lots and lots of women saying the same thing you are.. they arent barbies and get passed by time and time again by men that are complaining there are no decent good hearted women anymore. Most say that men want a hot chickiepoo, not a good hearted woman and either give up in frustration, or lurk in the forums posting flaming rants about the men that are ignoring the decent women in search of a perky pair of tah tahs etc.

For me, I think POF works as it is supposed to.. I get lots of emails and reply to all of the ones I get, even if it is to say thanks, but no thanks. That is just plain decent for anyone to do, man or woman.
 legally~blonde26
Joined: 11/15/2009
Msg: 45
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 12:30:58 AM
Thats really funny coming from a man. Please spare us the crap coming out of your mouth. Women are very perseptive, we can smell jerks from a mile away. If a girl is playing games with you, good. Where do you think we learned it from? MEN. You obviously dont have that much to offer. No man really does. I havent met a man yet whose worth my time and energy.
 Time Exile
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 46
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 5:40:29 AM

Thats really funny coming from a man. Please spare us the crap coming out of your mouth. Women are very perseptive, we can smell jerks from a mile away. If a girl is playing games with you, good. Where do you think we learned it from? MEN. You obviously dont have that much to offer. No man really does. I havent met a man yet whose worth my time and energy.



That's pretty funny - so you're saying men aren't perspective, and that they cannot see a foolish person in-front of them? Very cliche comment you've made there; and even after making that statement you've made no point.

And, by the way, theirs a lot of women out there who play mind games without the help of being mistreated by a men - A lot. So saying that you/woman have learned playing games from men is a purely immature statement.

In his mind he probably saw himself a s pretty good catch, and yet when he talk to a women they came of flakey and rude. He does have a point - their are plenty of women on this site who just are down right rude, and need a ego boost. Then complain when something doesn't go their way - same goes for the men on this site.

You say you haven't met a man wort your time, and energy. To be honest, you're probably going through the same thing this man dealt with. So you of all people should be-able to understand where he is coming from - don't be so quick to judge; there is a reason for every action in life.
 sb1950
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 47
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 6:20:03 AM
Trust me it the door swings both ways:

U would think at my age men would no longer be standing up women on dates, not the case at all. Do u have any idea what it is like to spend a couple of hours getting ready for a date just to be stood up, no u don't because a guy jumps in the shower for 5 min, combs his hair if he even has any, throws on jeans and what ever shirt is not too rinkled to wear and out he door he goes. Yes I agree there r allot of liers on here but there r liers every where. but ur probably right about the hookers at least u men r guar. something at the end of the evening, too bad that is about the only thing u men want any way is booty calls..........sherry
 ghostrider73a7x
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 9:10:47 AM

Thats really funny coming from a man. Please spare us the crap coming out of your mouth.Women are very perseptive, we can smell jerks from a mile away. If a girl is playing games with you, good. Where do you think we learned it from? MEN. You obviously dont have that much to offer. No man really does.


Please spare us your $#!t comming out of your mouth.Women like yourself are the reason why men are like they are in the first place.


I havent met a man yet whose worth my time and energy.


& you are not worth any man's time & energy either.
 cmd1957a
Joined: 1/19/2009
Msg: 49
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:01:05 AM
Wow....I think the OP got exactly what he was looking for when he initially posted to this forum. I am sure he is looking on and laughing his azz off. I am amazed at some of the venom spewed by some of the posters ..."I havent met a man whose(who is) worth my time and energy" ....read that again, if that is what you meant to say...to you I say good luck in your future relationships.

...And yes we do know what it is like to get stood up...Most of the first dates on here are meetings and I am sure the no shows happen to both sides.
 BigDKGRGFM
Joined: 10/10/2009
Msg: 50
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:10:20 AM

Women are very perseptive, we can smell jerks from a mile away.


If that is the case, why do I hear over and over women saying why did they fall for the jerk?


Where do you think we learned it from? MEN.


In my experience in the dating world, PEOPLE who play games do so cause they, deep down, do not believe anyone would truely want them.


You obviously dont have that much to offer. No man really does. I havent met a man yet whose worth my time and energy.


Whenever I have seen or heard a line like this... the person making said statement was not worth a 10 minute meet and greet. In my experience when a woman, or man, makes this type of statement they have been hurt in the past, and have unrealistic expectations on what the other person in the dynamic should possess. Example..
"If he'd just ask me out then I'd live so happy for the rest of my life" then once the oh wow phase is done, you feel bitter cause you are not as happy as you thought you would be, then make a statement like that cause you put unrealistic expectations on the guy. Thus you set yourself up to feel like that.

Based on your statement.. I would NEVER date you cause I'd have to constantly prove to you I was telling you the truth, I want to be with you, ect. Did that once, too much baggage.

Lastly, you are in your early 20's... most guys at that point only want to party and get laid. Thus, most guys at that age are NOT going to date you long term. They want to bang you, then next week be able to bang that other hot chick they meet at the club.

There are guys out there that are worth it, just ask my GF.
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