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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > pof is just a waste of time      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 51
pof is just a waste of timePage 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

why do some women insist on starting their profiles with "my kids are my world!!"?

Because that is what mothers are SUPPOSED to do. If you can't deal, don't date women with kids. This ain't rocket science, kids.

Look, guys...
Just because a woman has a profile on a dating site does not men she's desperately searching for anything in her general geographic area with a Y chromosome, a pulse and an allegedly functional penis. Hell, if all women wanted was a guy lounging around her living room, so she could say she had a man in her life, we could easily find something like that at the local bars...or by volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen.
AND, LADIES; just because a man has a profile on a dating site doesn't mean he'll accept anything identifiable as female. He has every right to say no thanks, or not contact women he feels are too old, too heavy, single mothers, just doesn't feel any chemistry or interest...
All a dating site does is give you a little bit bigger pond to fish in...you still gotta be what somebody WANTS to catch.
And we just will ignore the married cheaters, the chickenshit people of both genders who just want to get some attention but are afraid to actually MEET anybody.
It's one methodology for meeting dateable people, it can't work miracles or solve insurmountable problems. It can't make fat people skinny, dumb people smart, or your average plain jane/plain joe beautiful. It's just a location in cyberspace.
As for the OP's comment that "You women blew it"...that statement alone makes it quite clear that we did no such thing!
Cindy O
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 52
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 5:47:22 PM
Dog...

I didn't know "crying out for help" was a medical diagnosis... but I would absolutely write him up for an "ineffective coping" nursing diagnosis because that is exactly what he is doing, so I am not sure where you are going with that.

Also, I stand by my comments of calling ripping people apart abnormal, childlike and lacking in compassion... there is a HUGE difference between kicking someone will they are already down and calling someone out for being wrong. You as a nursing student should also know about standing up for the patient when you need to.

However, I read Deb's and Absolutely's comments and respect them greatly (sorry, I wasn't able to write back to you two but i've been busy)

"i would suggest you refrain showing kindness and compassion by volunteering your services on a suicide line...
do save you wisdom for goats!"

Not sure where you are going with that one either? If you were trying to "zing" me with that comment, I just don't get it... sorry. I can understand how you could be a little hostile towards me.

Anyways have a good day and best wishes to you. I really do mean that :)
 Dineh Nanishkaad
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 53
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 6:54:56 PM
What! you are equating this completely meaningless discussion too patient safety! Wow, there really isn't anything else to say other then that fact that if you think society is "normal" you have a lot to learn. There is nothing normal about the way our world is or how our culture is. Look at our world... it is corrupt and full of violence and hatred. Look at love in our society, the overwhelming majority of marrages end in divorce because our culture is corrupt.

For the record, I think that was a ludicrous statement to say that maybe we should be less harsh is somehow related to poor judgment and patient saftey
 Ls2chat
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 54
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 6:57:14 PM
Eh ..it is a very frustrating concept this "online dating". But what else do I have to do while I'm buisy being a cold weather wuss and don't want to go outside and play?
 anonymouslyme
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 55
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 7:25:59 PM
This thread has been hugely entertaining to watch.... It seems the camps are divided over whether the original post was a nasty derogotory rant, or a cry for help.... Personally, I'm going with the former, mainly because I had the opportunity to read the entire profile before it was made unavailable. The problem is, the glaring hypocracy and double standards in play here destroy any credibility to the "have some compassion" theory...

For example
I stand by my comments of calling ripping people apart abnormal, childlike and lacking in compassion
I suppose it has escaped your attention that the original post attacked all women as being flaky, rude, generic, and puke evoking. Then it was also suggested that we would be suffering some major loss since the OP would no longer be gracing us with his presence, AND that that paying prostitutes would be a far better option than suffering our miserable company.... Personally, I felt that rant was abnormal, childlike, lacking in compassion, not to mention highly offensive. Additionally, MY personal responses were simply that I'm sure the prostitutes would welcome the additional income (and they would) that no one would miss having venom like that spewed all over them (also true) and that frustrated or not, he needed to manage his emotions in a more adult like fashion if he wanted his 'cry for help' to be taken more seriously (which I also view as honest realistic feedback.... sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do for a person is tell them the truth, is it not?) I fail to see the correlation between my comments, and ripping someone to shreds... The world does not bend down to
abnormal, childlike
tantrems and verbal assaults to try to demand the attention that wasn't forthcoming based on the merits of the profile and personality..... Not in school, not at your job, and if you've graduated from elementary school, it's likely that even your mother stopped catering to those type of meltdowns (in the checkout over that candy bar) Why on earth would you expect a bunch of strangers in a forum to react any more sympathetically? Why reinforce and support bad behavior on the OP's part? Do you really think you're helping him by doing so?

And if that's the case, where is all that compassion for the injured, crying out for help when you read something by an equally frustrated young woman?
Thats really funny coming from a man. Please spare us the crap coming out of your mouth. Women are very perseptive, we can smell jerks from a mile away. If a girl is playing games with you, good. Where do you think we learned it from? MEN. You obviously dont have that much to offer. No man really does. I havent met a man yet whose worth my time and energy.
Does this posting not have all the same components of angst and pain as the original post? (by the way Blondie, I'm not saying I agree with this.... This post is sounding way too bitter to be coming from the sweet, fun girl depicted in your profile... that's kinda attitude's not gonna be well recieved from you either, you must know that. )

Can we agree some of the responses were less than compassionate? So which is it? The whole tone of this thread has been pretty negative and accusatory tone for the self professed compassionate.... is the irony truly lost? Can such enlightened people honestly be so lacking in self awareness?
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 56
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 8:42:12 PM
Good Gawd People, Whatcha fighten about now?

I just noticed people speaking of Games! Wake up people. Any interaction with another human is a game of sorts, like it or not! It's just the losers, that don't like this idea! lol

Don't you just love people that insist that everyone else not play games, but always allow themselves certain leeway, just because they feel justified in some way! But that's not playing games, only protecting myself or looking after my own best interests! Ah, the Human Condition!
 That Handy Man
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 57
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/1/2010 11:04:43 PM
Actually, in a way, I could see the world as being a better place if in fact there was MORE torture! Water board those Terrorists to your hearts content! Or, Go Green! Hook up their testicles to the wind turbines! Just be sure to put it on U-Tube as a warning to others (and so I can watch)!

Me and all the other innocent (relatively speaking lol) people might not have to suffer, or worry as much! Yes, it can be a slippery slope!
 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 58
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/2/2010 6:40:32 AM
Gawwwdd Nudig... posted like a 37 year old guy with NO KIDS Any woman that doesnt make their kids her number one priority is a sick puppy - Susan Smith comes to mind.. .she drownd her kids cuz her boyfriend didnt want to be tied down *hurl* pass me your bucket dewd

Men come and go.. a womans kids are hers forever. .Get it? Good..
 longhairbadass
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 59
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/2/2010 7:20:54 AM
I thought I was getting a headache. After reading this thread- I'm sure.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 60
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 2/2/2010 11:24:20 AM

I have friends with children but they are sensible and mature enough NOT to make them their entire world,

are these friends SINGLE parents? And if they are, it would not surprise me to find out that they have a very strong support system(their own parents/grandparents,close friends,other relatives)
All too often in these days when family members live far from one another, and people don't know their neighbors, all too often, for a single mom, her kids ARE her world because raising them is all on her.
Cindy O
 bearsy
Joined: 8/28/2007
Msg: 61
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 12/8/2011 7:45:03 PM
I am not looking for popularity but I see some truth in what he says.

Women's profiles do tend to seem monotonously similar.

If I have read "my kids are my life" once, I have read it a thousand times.
To me, this conveys that you will always be playing "second fiddle".

Add to that:

I am looking for my partner in crime

I am equally comfortable in jeans or a formal dress.

I don't really like to read.

I love to read People magazine.

Dogs are the new children.

Women who, if they actually call you, will immediately probe you in an attempt to discover your socioeconomic status. The wrong job or car is an immediate deal killer.

I like fine "dinning" by the water.

Women in their 40's who still are undecided if they want children.

Women who post their body type as "prefer not to say".

Don't bother flaming me because I really don't care.
This is the reality from a man's perspective.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 62
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 12/8/2011 11:10:18 PM
POF . .a waste of time? It depends which side you're referring to. . Definitely not a waste of time for the forums. .they're entertaining!
As far as the dating side goes, I would say so. . .I've met a couple of people from this website (I can't meet anyone unless I feel an attraction toward them), and both those people. .very shady. It doesn't really provide much faith in the dating side. Yes, some other people have messaged, then they flake and stop the correspondence (Yes, I'm guilty of this, too). After having gone through a number of short term relationships this year, I'm just burnt out. Probably will hide the profile for awhile until I actually feel like putting some effort into dating again.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 63
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History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 12/9/2011 6:24:18 AM

are these friends SINGLE parents? And if they are, it would not surprise me to find out that they have a very strong support system(their own parents/grandparents,close friends,other relatives)
All too often in these days when family members live far from one another, and people don't know their neighbors, all too often, for a single mom, her kids ARE her world because raising them is all on her.


I agree. I have been largely on my own with my daughter. She is a very large part of my life; not due to some unmet need within myself, but due to the reality that as her primary caregiver with a support system that primarily consists of my sister (another working, single mother) the bulk of my free time is spent caring for her.

Fortunately, she is getting older and more self-sufficient...
 shadowpowered
Joined: 5/8/2013
Msg: 64
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/19/2013 5:05:08 PM
Well said. Stranger than the fact that a lot of people don't have the courtesy to simply say "no thanks" are the women who initiate contact, and exchange a lot of notes, and then simply stop. Funny. Luckily, I'm nobody special, so I respond to every note I receive.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 65
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/19/2013 9:35:44 PM

If I have read "my kids are my life" once, I have read it a thousand times.
To me, this conveys that you will always be playing "second fiddle"


Any man who becomes a step-dad will always be the "second fiddle."
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 66
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:04:22 PM

Time to check out hookers As expensive as dates are, it is as cost efective and i don't have to aduiton for them


If all you want is to get laid, get a hooker. If you want more. Well, that's where the work begins. But not with that attitude.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 67
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History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:20:46 PM
maybe this has been said....but the answer is so obvious to me....If you consider pof a waste of time then don't waste your time on it...as in don't waste your time posting in the forum that the site is a waste of time.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 68
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/21/2013 5:55:24 AM
I've always maintained finding a partner is like looking for a job. POF is just one venue.

Placing ads in local papers. Joining "Meet-Up" groups. Single parent associations. All too frequently someone will say they go out Saturday night and that's pretty much the extent of their "search". Then they busy themselves all week with other activities/interests.

Then there's the list of requirements. Even someone who currently fulfills the list knows that the continuation of any relationship will depend on the continuation of fulfilling those requirements. For example, it's not unusual for people to say they don't want someone who is unemployed. What would happen if the person becomes unemployed once being in the relationship? What would happen if they change interests in certain activities?

It's fine to "want it all" but potential partners know the success/continuation of a relationship with such an individual will depend on them supplying the "all", all the time. I'd venture to guess many of those who say they can't find a partner mean they can't find someone who possesses the "all" AND who is willing to gamble that if things take a turn they might be thrown to the curb.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 69
view profile
History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/21/2013 9:38:40 AM
Wasting time is kicking 3 year old threads! Wtf is up with that? But it is funny to see who was here 3 years ago, and are still here.......
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 70
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History
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/21/2013 1:06:38 PM
I very firmly believe that for all age groups, but especially the younger one, that they should not put all their energy or whatever in this site or any site (s)...I still believe that the best way to find someone is to be out in the real world, living your life.

Get involved in whatever activities interest you. Don't have any interests? Then online dating is not going to work for you, either. Bowling leagues, community theaters, volunteering, etc etc... I live in a very small town but I'm getting out in the real world more and more. I think we are all more attractive to others when we are out and about doing things and being active instead of being as self absorbed as we can be when we hibernate online like this. "meet up" groups....go to concerts at coffee houses or pubs...small venues like that. Take a continuing education class at a community college: cooking, playing guitar, photography....etc... There's a world out there be none of us are gonna find it sitting on our kiesters in front of a computer screen. Yep I'm here now but--

in June I start a water exercise class 3 nights a week and I start in a bowling league...just a beginning....but it's a step forward and outside of my apt...
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 71
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 6/1/2013 7:45:29 PM
It is understandable some feel that way . Looking at profile after profile , there is an awful lot of anger in a lot of the women's profiles . I would say 80% of the ones I look at seem angry and bitter , who would want to date them . Probably the reason they are single in the first place.
 MsMaggieMay
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 72
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 6/16/2013 2:58:58 PM
Same thing with mens profiles. It's either "ask me" or "I like to camp blah blah blah". Same ole thing over and over. Funny thing is sometimes when you get to know these people they have not been camping or fishing in years.
 Poetic245
Joined: 1/3/2015
Msg: 73
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 4/30/2015 12:27:10 PM
Think I might use you're advice cause I'm starting to feel the same way as the op in terms of feeling rejected
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 74
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 4/30/2015 8:49:03 PM
Just think of all the girls/women you've rejected, or would have rejected had it come up, and you can see that it's no big deal. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't want them? Move on instead of wallowing in it, wallowing is the real waste of time.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 75
view profile
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 5/1/2015 4:57:59 PM
Resign yourself to the fact that men have to take a beating with OLD. You could do hundreds of first messages, and only get a response or two. Never believe that it only takes a little effort to be successful. Actually, I find it hard to believe that anyone has found the love of their life, courtesy of OLD. If you get some enjoyment from the forums, and like to watch people bicker, then you've come to the right place. There is that remote possibility that you might be lucky, and meet someone. But don't stand on one foot waiting.
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