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 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 126
pof is just a waste of timePage 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I constantly fail to measure up to my expectations. I keep seeing myself doing things like this and despair of ever finding anything in me to love. Everyone says I have to love myself first before another can/will love me. How will I ever get there?


I was reading the other day in Psychology Today a great article about one of the most destructive two words that people use and because of them they practically destroy their lives, destroy their happiness, and live in an eternal state of regret and resentment. Those words are:

If only....

The article went about how every time we re write the past, and question what we did, we end up playing Monday night quarterbacking and not taking in consideration what we know at that moment, and at that time. We then question every decision we've made, and instead of accepting the present as the present, and the actions that we engage to today we end up doubting ourselves. And doubt leads to procrastination, indecision leads to stagnation, and we end up in a state of inaction. And that is much more destructive that the alternative, which is action, which is accepting that to achieve anything, you have to first fail a lot. The only true failure is not falling, failing, losing, getting hurt, but....giving up.

So, don't give up on yourself. But learn to accept yourself, if anything you keep trying.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 127
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/6/2015 6:15:11 PM
Bitter and negative get you nowhere ultimately. A guy who is " sweet and positive" is probably being the doormat and if he is being mistreated, he can walk. Playing the victim is counter productive.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 128
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/6/2015 7:49:09 PM
Life is a waste of time - the good times are a waste of time because they just raise the expectation of pleasure over time. The bad times are a waste of time because they're bad, and everything in between is a bunch of wasted time.

I mean philosophically speaking, it's a losing battle of attempting to find meaning in life over time... when the only meaning of life is to create more life, which just exasperates the waste of time created by life.
 Chicago1986M
Joined: 5/30/2015
Msg: 129
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/7/2015 8:59:32 AM
I'd say its not a waste time as much as it's a vast jungle with way too many hunter. I decided when I joined this site that I would never consider the premium features unless of course I actually met someone on the free version..... A few months later.....I have not met anyone... Am I bitter?

NO


Like I said this place is a jungle and while I admit it can be frustrating talking to a girl and then poof silence or no response at all but I move on and keep going with my day trying to find a special person to have a relationship with. Will it happen? who knows but I feel that it's the difficult journey that will make the destination so much sweeter but we must not despair men and yes women the "RIGHT ONE" is out there
we just have to be willing to suffer,smile,and always remain optimistic.


Take care
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 130
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/7/2015 3:16:58 PM
Waste of time? OP, I look at POF and online dating as a tool of sorts.

Plentyoffish is a appropriate name for this site. It's just another way of baiting your hook and casting it out into the vast ocean of available women. Or men, depending on what your fishing for and what bait you are using.

One thing is true and that is you'll never get any bites if you never get your line in the water. What may seem like a waste of time is actually just another way to achieve the goal of meeting someone you might like. If those you meet are not to your liking then you can always practice a "catch and release" policy.

Patience, and having no expectations are helpful attributes in this oceanic cornucopia of lonely fishies. Hang in there OP and I predict if you continue frequenting hookers you'll soon wind up with a catch you are worthy of.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 131
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/8/2015 4:44:35 PM
"Bitter and negative get you nowhere ultimately" => Getting nowhere ultimately will get you Bitter and Negative.

There LeGrande, fixed your sentence to better align it with reality.

"Plentyoffish is a appropriate name for this site." => PlentyofMALEfish is a appropriate name for this site.

There Von Trapp, fixed your sentence to better align it with Empirical reality of the demographics of on-line dating.

"Patience, and having no expectations are helpful attributes in this oceanic cornucopia of lonely fishies." => Patience, and having no expectations are helpful attributes in this oceanic cornucopia of lonely Male fishies and old female fishies more interested only in on-line penpal relationships.

There Maria, fixed your sentence to give the OP a more honest picture of the Demographics and Behaviours he and the majority of men wasting our time here will likely experience.

Hang in there OP and I predict if you continue frequenting hookers you will get laid! As opposed to penpal chats with old ladies here. There I paraphrased your last sentence and since I am out of Sound of Music whimsical references I am taking credit for it myself.

So OP you got any phones numbers you like to share with the guys?
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 132
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/9/2015 9:24:28 PM
Say Doremi,
First off, I hope you had some fun with my playful take on your nom-du-gere and your messages. I have been in this scene for a long time - almost 2 years and I have seen the futility of it, as most men have. Thus a bit jaded. Anyway ...

But I did want to ask you something and shift gears a bit. In one of your pictures (and you have some good ones, wish I had ... ) you have your library. Some of the titles are of the plate books of artists. I have so many books on various artists and used to subscribe to Art in America back when I could afford such. And I always thought I knew who was who. I would love to hear your take on Barocci and Botero. I promise that I will research more as I do know them but not their works in detail. Funny, in trying to meet a gal but I so much more meet guys I would rather talk with. If you are ever out East Coast ... ride dirt bikes, kayak?
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 133
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/10/2015 7:06:25 AM
# 156, Hang in there, and if futility sets in keep in mind this site and others are simply ways... To get yourself out there and possibly meet someone who is compatible with you. I have been here a while myself and have met some wonderful ladies here but so far not "Miss Right". Also, these forums are a interesting diversion from the dating side of POF and I am glad they exist. Exchange of ideas and opinions are a good thing IMHO.

And, that pic. was taken at a bookstore in Columbus, Ohio. I just happened to be standing in the art section of the store. I figured if I stood there long enough some of the culture would rub off on me.

It didn't work, but it did help me appreciate those who can express themselves through their artworks .Capturing beauty, tragedy or whatever is in ones head and being able to express it in art, literature or whatever medium is used is indeed a gift I am glad to be able to appreciate. And when I realize this it somehow makes my feelings of futility seem....Futile, and unimportant.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 134
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/10/2015 7:22:36 AM
Fernando Botero is a Colombian Painter. He comes from the tradition of the Mexican Muralist that were popular in the thirties, such as Rivera, Orozco y Siqueiros. But he painted in canvas. One of the key things to any artist is to create a distinct style that allows the work to be identified instantly. So he made people extremely obese, even did paintings of old Dutch masters, but all obese. Great works.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 135
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/10/2015 8:13:26 PM


I have been in this scene for a long time - almost 2 years and I have seen the futility of it, as most men have. Thus a bit jaded.


4+ years here.

As a dude that gets poon often enough, I can tell you that a LTR, aka gf/bf label, or the dreaded monogamy distinction is challenging indeed.

Am I bad at poon? Nah. They want to see me again.

There's a lot of gals carrying the mentality that 'I can get sex anywhere, so what do you have to offer?.

So, have sex with them. That's when the interview starts.

Have fun and...know when to walk away.

Carpe Diem!
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 136
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/10/2015 9:07:44 PM
Translate "Poon" into something folks with a college education can relate to? Oh, Camden NJ. Don't bother.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 137
Poontastic
Posted: 11/11/2015 3:18:01 AM
Those that get poon don't need a translation.

2 years ain't sh!t dude.

The playing field is much different once the family dynamic is gone (i.e. marry and raise kids).


 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 138
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/12/2015 10:50:02 AM

I have been in this scene for a long time - almost 2 years and I have seen the futility of it, as most men have. Thus a bit jaded. Anyway ...


Well, since the last 2 years ahve been the worst 2 years for OLD out of the last 10 , and maybe even since the beginnings of OLD, it comes as no surprise to me that people whose only experiences with OLD occurring in the last 2 years would be jaded.
At least I know, from the glory days, that it can be so much better than the current state. If only more people make the same efforts that people back then used to make.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 139
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/14/2015 12:56:28 AM
POF is quite amusing (when it isn't down-right dangerous, but I'm not referring to those instances).

My concern is that people put their happiness and expectations of such in the hands of utter strangers.

So what if a POF "flake" doesn't want you? What benefit were they to your life when you were punked by them, other than you get your enjoyment by being pissed on?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 140
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/14/2015 8:17:41 PM
tangofish

I realise that you have issues and I am sorry that you feel that the only purpose of our lives is to create more life. One day you may truly get why you are here and it is worth pursuing that knowledge.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 141
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/14/2015 8:26:13 PM
cali1956

I could puke every time I see "love to laugh, looking for a positive person etc"... with the men on here..

It works both ways. Not to mention "athletic" or "average" when they are clearly overweight, 6ft tall when they would be lucky to be 5'9".....etc and let us not talk about the guys who say they are single when they are married. etc.. need I go on???

If a woman kisses you off it is because she is not interested. Women blew it with you? I doubt they feel that. .
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 142
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/14/2015 9:00:08 PM
I like POF. I like browsing through profiles and looking at pictures. I love pictures of men with their pets, especially dogs. They (the men) light up like little kids. Pet pics are usually a man's best pictures.
 Hosch_bau
Joined: 11/11/2015
Msg: 143
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/15/2015 1:46:01 AM

If a woman kisses you off it is because she is not interested.


True.


Women blew it with you? I doubt they feel that.


True. Probably more like a sigh of relief. :/
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 144
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/15/2015 9:08:37 PM
".. 6ft tall when they would be lucky to be 5'9"....

Once again it is all about these low life hypergamists with their ****lengths? How would you want to put your .. well you know..your ..God gave your body parts and a toilet brush was not one of such ...
 Looking_4_her_still
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 145
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/16/2015 6:44:22 PM
Life is full of obstacles.

Us poor men with brains hardwired to think about sex every 30 seconds are exposed to opposite sex who think about sex every 30 days.

It just isnt fair.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 146
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/23/2015 7:55:27 PM

Life is full of obstacles.


And most people put most of them in front of themselves.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 147
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/23/2015 10:17:13 PM
four years? More like 9 years.

Really do men think about sex every 30 seconds? I have to wonder why? In what way do they think about it?

Really, male humans have been overwired for sex it seems. We are one of the few species who have sex just for the hell of it and not to procreate. lol!!!
 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 148
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/24/2015 12:46:28 AM
Dear Lookingforher.

In my experience many men in thier 50's may think about sex but are not really able to live up to their own fantasies.
Most of the women I know in their 50's have difficulty finding a man who can live up to hers.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 149
pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 11/25/2015 8:37:04 PM
Yup it sure is for the masses who insist on utilizing every possible method to shoot themselves in the feet here and limit their chances. And almost always, w/o exception, be unwilling to change their ways.

Learn to utilize OLD -for the advantages and benefits it offers. Look for pics you DO like and STOP endless whining and complaining about pics you don't like. Whittle your deal-breaker list to realistic expectations. Believing that OLD offers some magical free ticket to a fantasy world is a sure fire recipe for a bad attitude and poor results.

Lastly, learn to use proper Email etiquette.

It's not that complicated, it's really not.
 agape2056
Joined: 12/12/2015
Msg: 150
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pof is just a waste of time
Posted: 12/22/2015 9:22:56 PM
Never mind the STD's LOL
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