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 altotermite
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 26
Men in their 60sPage 2 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
k135

As a man in his sixties I can say you are 90 percent correct. As this has happen to me with women so many times. I have just about given up. As we grow older we all desire a relationship but are we willing to actually go through with it ???... Who knows! Thanks for such a great thread.......
 Flapleaser
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 27
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:22:03 AM
I believe adults are very similar to children, of course we mature but the wiring is in place from a very early age, Freud, most men are looking for a woman that wants to be sensual and make love, have fun with sex. Unfortunately what I'm seeing is when women get older they revert back into their preteen virgin days and make sexual relations that far away distant star that is so difficult to attain. I also believe that deep inside they too want sex and the fun associated with it but are afraid of whatever negative feelings that they associate with being free about it. So it's the egg or chicken conundrum. Just some thought sfrom being single for the last 15 years, thanks.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 28
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 5:00:01 AM

Unfortunately what I'm seeing is when women get older they revert back into their preteen virgin days and make sexual relations that far away distant star that is so difficult to attain. I also believe that deep inside they too want sex and the fun associated with it but are afraid of whatever negative feelings that they associate with being free about it


I think you are on the wrong track here.. If they have a fear it is the ever increasing STD's in our age grouping.. Most women prefer to be selective when it comes to sharing their intimate moments.. No different then when they were a teenager in love.

thecatsmeoww
 rogueluv
Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 29
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:20:35 AM
For me I just luv sex, always have. Just because I am 64 now does not mean I can just switch it off. I am still in good condition, no ED problems and wake up with a boner everyday. I love the ladies and love sex. So shoot me.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 30
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 10:07:50 AM

I do not have ED. Of course it takes an attractive and sexy woman to excite me, not one who is overweight or with saggy tits or with masses of wrinkles.

Ok I'm not the stud I once was and can't make evry hour on the hour but with the right woman then twice a night and agin first thing in the morning is no problem.

I'm in my 60's and have kept in shape and am unwrinkled, why don't more women make the effort to keep an attractive appearnce? Though few and far between an attractive mature woman is better than a young bimbo.

You sound just like the men my mother used to date. She was really fine looking, but she was also a basket case, and she collected proposals. Never followed through on them, though. I do have to admit, though, she got all the good genes in the family, at least in the looks department.

Fortunately, I wouldn't suit you in the least. I do look my age and I've earned every single wrinkle and gray hair.
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 31
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 10:32:31 AM
My guy was looking for the same thing many younger men are looking for. He was interested in finding someone with whom to spend the rest of his life. He wasn't looking for a FWB or an activities partner. He wanted someone to be his life's partner. I was looking for friendship but I wasn't opposed to falling in love, if it happened.

Ours is definitely a unique relationship in that we are currently living in two different hemispheres but we are working diligently to rectify the situation. We have the same goals and desires as to what we want from here on in. We want to spend the rest of our lives together and are planning what we'll do first.

Also, the men I know in their late 50's and 60's also want the same thing. They all are looking for a woman to love and spend their life with. Every one of them. Two of my dearest male friends, during this past year have found that special lady. Both couples are living together and tremendously happy. Both men are in their late 50's. Another good friend, in his late 60's would love nothing more than to find someone special. He is an attractive, retired professional who is intelligent, loving, loves to spoil a lady and go off on weekend trips together. He just hasn't found the right woman for him. He'd be a wonderful catch for the right woman. But as we all know, wanting something and getting it are two very different things. If meeting the right person was that easy, there'd be no need for dating sites.

And there are just as many women who 'vanish' on men as the other way around. It's not a male or female thing. It's about a person being inconsiderate and that isn't gender sensitive.
 nemeski
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 32
Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 3:13:33 PM
In regards to something Kari wrote (msg 29):

[But they drop off as soon as I say something they don't like or disagree with]

I have found this to be so true. I had written/spent HOURS on the phone over the course of about 2 months last Spring with a man, and just before we were going to meet (we live hours apart) was dropped like a hot potato in the midst of our first little spat. I find the expectations of the people on here seem wildly unrealistic; I mean, really, does anyone expect to find a partner with whom they will Never disagree? How does one forge a relationship when we're not willing to get past initial petty disagreements?

I really don't know what men in their 50s & 60s expect, but seemingly from reading enough on this forum, it seems neither they nor us woman are finding it.

~nemeski
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 33
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 11:32:13 PM

Also, the men I know in their late 50's and 60's also want the same thing. They all are looking for a woman to love and spend their life with. Every one of them.


Thank you ForumFilly for stating what we all know but few women here can acknowledge.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 34
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/30/2010 11:43:37 PM
That slaving role of wife and mother, or single mom, takes up a huge, huge amount of time.


Slave role of wife: I am not awear that men hold a gun to women's heads to get them to say "I Do"!

Slave role of ... mother: most couples agree to have children.

This will not come across well but it sounds like someone should never have married and had children.

My son called me to say happy birthday a while ago.He was holding their 3 month old son in the other arm and eventually had to hangup because dishes needed to be done. His wife watched the two kids while he did dishes. This is what his father was like and this is what most of my male friends were like. Are there men who don't help, sure, but to say women slave and do it all is simply not true.

By the way, I'm one year away from 60 and what I want in a woman isn't so far from what I wanted 40 years ago. I'm just a bit more selective and in control of my hormones that 40 years ago.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 35
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 7:35:58 AM

How does one forge a relationship when we're not willing to get past initial petty disagreements?

The question isn't how does one forge a relationship, the question is how does one meet womeone to see if there's a potential for a relationship in the first place?

This is what I've learned on a variety of dating sites in somewhat over a year:

"Intimate encounter" - sex, with names optional, aka NSA
"Hang out" - sex, with the possibility of a repeat perfomance in the near future
"Talk/email' - cyber sex
"Activity partner" - sex
"Friends" - sex, aka FWB
"Other relationship" - sex, as in a threesome or a group grope
"Long term" - sex, until he finds someone closer/newer -everyone knows any man can get it up for some strange stuff, right? So once you aren't 'strange' anymore, he's history.
"Sorry, not interested" - you're not a Barbie, you might be 10 years younger than me but you're still too old, you're too tall/short/fat/skinny/just aren't good enough for me cuz I'm still a stud and then some.

Which one is the possibility of an actual real live, face to face, relationship hiding behind?
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 36
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:33:12 AM
The Truth is: If we keep experiencing the same thing over and over.... we need to turn the focus back where it really belongs... ON OURSELVES. Its tough, but we all have to do it. Most of the posts I see here (and on most threads) are typically about 'them'. What they did, what they said, how they always do it... how you can't trust them.. how they are all alike...on and on. This is basically called: "the blame game". It will get us nowhere.

It doesn't matter if many of the accusations and accounts are true. It doesn't matter! Its still the same ol blame game. It only keeps us stuck. You can be assured. If you take an "honest" inventory ( of yourself) you will always find that you have a part in your re-occuring predictiments. We have no power over other people...None. So, if we really want things to change in our pursuits.... it must start with us.

This isn't about age. These principles are true whether you are in your 20s or 60s. We have an advantage in our 60s. We "should" be a little smarter? But, age is not always an indicator of wisdom either.

What seems to be working for me is to have faith, courage, patience and a sense of optomism and willingness. don't be afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to take an honest inventory of yourself. Don't let anyone else's sourness creep in to ruin your milk. Happy hunting, and I believe there are wonderful partners out there for all of us.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 37
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 1:19:47 PM

The question isn't how does one forge a relationship, the question is how does one meet womeone to see if there's a potential for a relationship in the first place?

This is what I've learned on a variety of dating sites in somewhat over a year:

"Intimate encounter" - sex, with names optional, aka NSA
"Hang out" - sex, with the possibility of a repeat perfomance in the near future
"Talk/email' - cyber sex
"Activity partner" - sex
"Friends" - sex, aka FWB
"Other relationship" - sex, as in a threesome or a group grope
"Long term" - sex, until he finds someone closer/newer -everyone knows any man can get it up for some strange stuff, right? So once you aren't 'strange' anymore, he's history.
"Sorry, not interested" - you're not a Barbie, you might be 10 years younger than me but you're still too old, you're too tall/short/fat/skinny/just aren't good enough for me cuz I'm still a stud and then some.

Which one is the possibility of an actual real live, face to face, relationship hiding behind?


After reading your last couple of responses I've begun to wonder if the purpose you're on POF is to vent bitterness and emasculate all men. The above statement sounds like someone who needs a councilor.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 38
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 1:33:26 PM

So, the question remains: what DO men in their 60s want?

I suppose the answer to that question will vary with the man. The only way to find out is to ask.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 39
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 2:10:27 PM

After reading your last couple of responses I've begun to wonder if the purpose you're on POF is to vent bitterness and emasculate all men. The above statement sounds like someone who needs a councilor.

Actually, I was both quoting and paraphrasing the responses I've gotten from the men on several dating/match sites. Perhaps they are the ones who need counselors, ya think?

I was completely serious in my original questions. I frequently feel like I'm trying to play a game where someone else keeps changing the rules and forgets to tell me. Hell, I don't know what any of the rules are in the first place. If it makes you feel emasculated to read about my frustrations, I'm sorry, but it's your problem and not mine. Believe me, if I were to go to the effort of being emasculating, there would be absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind.

I've had a couple of good to excellent relationships. Judging by some of the posts of different men who have contributed to the forums, I've wondered if we lived under the same sky. For instance, a remark you yourself made earlier about changing diapers - I had two children with a man who was an excellent father in many, many ways, but he changed a total of one diaper. I remember, because he saved it to show me what he'd done.

One of the things I left out of my little list is that having 'private pictures' is apparently a code for the XXX-rated ones which would get a member of any site booted off. I used to have 'pics on request' in all of my profiles, because i just happen to have a cyber stalker after me. I got so much double-edged flack - "You must weigh 300 lbs" or "You're married and chippying around" to "Where are the good (i.e., naked) ones?" etc that i finally put one up. It's not great, but it's also not clear enough for my own personal fruitcake stalker to find me. But in my opinion, any 69 y/o man who gets snarky because a 63 y/o woman won't send him naked pics sure as hell needs something in the way of counseling! I mentioned in an earlier post that one of the men I actually met live I had a background check done on - as it turns out, he's on every sex site known to the Western world, gay, bi, straight, group, S & M, cross dressing.... if I was really into emasculating and spewing bitterness at men in general, I could have used him as an example of what 'all' men are like. It's a really good thing for all concerned I know otherwise.

By the way, there's a vast difference between bitterness and frustration.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 40
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 1/31/2010 7:04:08 PM
i have only met one man in his 60's. he was preparing to retire from teaching and felt we were in two different places. he was going to some rural retirement community. i wouldn't mind one as long as it was part of a larger community. maybe when i'm in my 70's?

most of the men i have met and the two i have been with since my divorce are in their 50's. they range in what they want, what they have to offer, physical versus emotional energy, yada yada yada. they say the same about women. i think that some people lose energy as they grow older. but last nite, on a date, we met this 90 year old guy who defied even that. he still had his own insurance business and wrote down the name of our meetup group, so he could join!

i am very glad i have "never" met anyone looking for his little girl! most of the men who have emailed back and forth for long periods of time are "just" friends. ONCE someone chickened out on meeting me, who i thought might be really special. he's still on here someplace, dreaming away. depression can do that to you, i am told.

i've never had any illusions about my e-buddies. thus, no disappointments. the good part is that they teach me a lot about men. i was an only child.......so, i'm grateful to be learning it all. most of the men i date, have been met outside of virtual reality. my last SO was from another dating site. now, he's on POF and having the same problems as everyone else on here. go figure.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 41
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 5:09:00 AM

They refuse to accept that older women have matured.


As in no chemistry or spark? Read a few thousand profiles of women. All you see is "must be chemistry", "chemistry is essential", etc.

Of course older men want to feel chemistry and spark. The divorced ones have usually spent years without feeling it. Why would they be interested in a new relationship that does not have it?
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 42
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:03:55 AM
Another sad thread about older men. I don't think we really want that much. Maybe a date on Saturday night; someone to take on a trip; someone to share a bed with now and then. It seems that so many women think they have to be in some phase of a "relationship" just to go out on a date. What a sad state of affairs!! What happened to just going out and having fun??? I guess most of the women who post on POF are more interested in the "social gab fest" of the forums than actually going on a date anyway.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 43
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:26:42 AM

Another sad thread about older men. I don't think we really want that much. Maybe a date on Saturday night; someone to take on a trip; someone to share a bed with now and then. It seems that so many women think they have to be in some phase of a "relationship" just to go out on a date. What a sad state of affairs!! What happened to just going out and having fun??? I guess most of the women who post on POF are more interested in the "social gab fest" of the forums than actually going on a date anyway.

Hmmm..... So all I have to do to go on a date is find someone who still has a pulse - haven't had any luck at all doing that so far. No relationship needed, either. I guess you've missed the posts where I said there was no place to go here to have fun. Or some of the posts by other women - one of whom said "I've already met both bachelors in my county." I'm not interested in taking trips, BTDT. I can find plenty of men to share my bed, but they are all at least 20 years younger - not interested (especially when one has the same name as my son). If I'm going to share my bed with anyone, I'd prefer it to be someone who is on the same page in life experience. Someone who remembers the same music, the same politics, the same headlines.

I actually have seen quite a few profiles that are straightforward about wanting the same kinds of things I do - the one catch is that they are ultra religious. Nothing against religion, that's a personal choice, but it's also my choice not to avoid those men who say in their profiles "God is the most imiportant thing in my life, then my country. Gold Bless America! And family is important, too." Maybe I should try meeting one of them... At least I'd know where I fit into his life. Firmly in the Number 3 spot.

That's a direct quote, by the way.
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 44
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:20:25 AM
Yes, both quantity and quality are a problem. I did a search this morning within 25 miles of where I am and found 5 who had been on line in the last 30 days and I'm in an area with many more people than where you are. They (people to meet) are out there, we just don't have a way of finding them and then actually getting them to meet us. I would be willing to bet there are at least several hundred within 15 miles of where I'm at but I don't know any of them. Your quantity may be less but I'm sure there are more than 2.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 45
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:58:07 AM

Bitterness and whining is very unattractive in either gender. It bespeaks of someone who has no grace, is self centered and lacks courage. We need to count our blessings daily and be grateful for what we have been given.

I really wish those who are so quick to jump on the 'whiny, bitter' bandwagon would just google the place where I live first. If your experience is all SoCal, don't even think about passing any kind of judgment on someone who lives in rural Oklahoma. It's a totallydifferent world, and the only thing we have in common is that we both speak English.
 mrslipez
Joined: 1/29/2010
Msg: 46
Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:59:14 AM
Whereis this all going? I am a newbie on here, and although my profile needs some attention, Judging is, or should be off limits.
In answering the question, reguardless of age, it all depends on the guy. I think that although life is serious, one shouldn't take the first contact so personal. Loosen up a bit. Most of us on here are looking for different things. Unfortunatly, there are many more men than women. these women have to sort through message after message of men mostly looking for something that they can't even describe.
Us older guys know exactly what we want, all you have to do is ask. If you don't think we are for you, then all you have to do is nothing, or, if you are a polite person, say no thanks.
Stop crying about what you aren't seeing, and either stay here for the blogs only and don't reply, or get out there and seriously look for someone that may compliment you.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 47
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:59:30 AM

Ms. Tinkerbell

I believe that for most men in their 60's. we like to have the freedom of choice of activities, shooting pool, golf, bowling, boating and fishing, etc.....
We do enjoy having a partner to share these moments with of course, and with someone that enjoys being with a man to enjoy lifes pleasures. You don't have to be fit and trim, big breasted, full hips and soft lips to entise a man into asking you out.
I think that the following rule normally applies to men in their 60's and looking:

Men in their 60's live alone and like it.........while some women live alone and look it !!!

Paul

Well, I do thank you for the rant. and I hope you feel so much better after getting all of that off of your chest!

I have absolutely no idea what the rant was all about but if it had anything to do with the couple of posts made by me in this thread it is obvious that the humour that they contained was completely missed by you! Better luck next time.


Whereis this all going? I am a newbie on here, and although my profile needs some attention, Judging is, or should be off limits.
In answering the question, reguardless of age, it all depends on the guy. I think that although life is serious, one shouldn't take the first contact so personal. Loosen up a bit. Most of us on here are looking for different things. Unfortunatly, there are many more men than women. these women have to sort through message after message of men mostly looking for something that they can't even describe.
Us older guys know exactly what we want, all you have to do is ask. If you don't think we are for you, then all you have to do is nothing, or, if you are a polite person, say no thanks.
Stop crying about what you aren't seeing, and either stay here for the blogs only and don't reply, or get out there and seriously look for someone that may compliment you.

Kettle meet pot. Pot meet kettle. And all this abhorrent judging is contained in one post by one person. Too funny! LOL
 MAGIC_MARCO
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 48
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 11:52:01 AM
Men in their 50 and 60s are looking to get laid. If not immediately, then soon. So if you're not attracted to them, then move on.


Okay , seeing that it's a normal biological function, I'll cop to that.
BTW, It seems to me women would have to feel that way, in order to keep the balance of nature intact.
The difference is, some of us would like to "get laid" with the same woman next week, next month and next year. I guess it's our job to point that out.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 49
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:08:46 PM
Oh not this again...For a guy going on 61, I'm doing REAL GOOD. I just love taking women on my own terms for a change. I can take them or leave them and projecting this seems to attract them even more. Me, I want leisure where I can chill with my interests, travel, dance, mabybe one day enjoy grand kids, that is if my kids ever get on the ball; they're both academics and VERY career oriented For the moment I still need some female companionship, but on my terms; NO living together, must have my own space to retreat to. No drama, please keep it down to low roar.
Yeah, I'm in great shape too; life-long fitness nutt, NO ED, it's all about the cardio baby! I've kept those arteries clean...But still,
I may not be the man I USED to be...but I'm just as good ONCE as ANY man can be!!!
I just LOVE being this age. I can speak my mind with total impunity, forget about stuff with a good excuse("hey, I'm OLD, back off") Irony: I never thought I'd live to see the time when a 46 year old woman would be a much younger gal!!
 oldkid
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 50
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Men in their 60s
Posted: 2/4/2010 7:42:48 PM
Fluffy, I don't know about the men in your part of the world or your experience but you really do need to meet some older men who still have it together. No, we don't all have 6 pack abs but we are not as out of shape as you describe. Hell, my 75 year old buddy is in better shape than that!! I hope you are disgusted now and it comes home to roost when you get to be 60 or 70. Me, I'm thinking a woman in her 40s is almost at her end - then comes menopause and she becomes a non-sexual person while men in their 70s and 80s are still looking to get laid. Sad reality but true.
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