Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 26
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
You have had pleasant replies from the females because you were /appeared honest, pleasant, and non critical. I think it makes a big difference... You appear to have a heart, and a realistic sense how it is to be someone your age. You didn't attack older women because they are older, but accepted them for who they are. I was impressed with your post.

Some of the men who post are usually convincing everyone how they usually knock the socks (stockings) off the younger women and wouldn't go near the more mature ones because of some ridiculous, hypothetical, or generalized reason.

Simply being respectful and accepting can be attractive... rather than hostile, and degrading of women... when I have read some men's replies in the past insulting women their own age and older women, I see a bitter, jaded, personality type showing through. IMO personality doesn't suddenly change because a person is around youthful, attractive, women... eventually the person's true personality will show through... to everyone even the younger women.

Not many men will admit to some of the the things you listed, as MOST men are not going to suddenly change this persona they have presented of being such super stud muffins...

You were very complimentary, and this was reciprocated in some of the responses... forum participants should learn from this...
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 27
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:46:29 PM
Thank you, ALL, for such kind words!

.....and you can always count on a Texas gal to say something nice!
 Vicshe
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 28
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:47:40 PM
Everybody ages at the same rate. If you live another day, you're a day older.

I doubt that most women your age are chasing "younger studs." A man my age, or a few years either side of my age, might look kind of old to me. But, in a way, he is a mirror. In accepting him at his age, with everything that isn't quite exactly what it once was, I can accept my own age and those things that are not quite the same about me. Especially when he's accepting me back. And there is something comforting about being with someone who remembers the same moments in history that you do, someone who loved the same music 40 years ago, someone with similar sensibilities....

There is no denying the appeal of firm, young flesh. But it isn't coming back. And I'm sorta beginning to like the mirror.
 Vicshe
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 29
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:57:59 PM
Everybody ages at the same rate. If you live another day, you're a day older.

I doubt that most women your age are chasing "younger studs." A man my age, or a few years either side of my age, might look kind of old to me. But, in a way, he is a mirror. In accepting him at his age, with everything that isn't quite exactly what it once was, I can accept my own age and those things that are not quite the same about me. Especially when he's accepting me back. And there is something comforting about being with someone who remembers the same moments in history that you do, someone who loved the same music 40 years ago, someone with similar sensibilities....

There is no denying the appeal of firm, young flesh. But it isn't coming back. And I'm sorta beginning to like the mirror.

Oh -- and no, being dishonest would not make you more attractive.
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 30
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:15:20 PM
Gosh why are you focusing on the old days? Stay in the here and now and life would be so much easier....Practice....I am where I am suppose to be at right now, right at this moment.....The old days are the old days. The new days are the new days. And today is always a new day. I am past the past. I try to be the best I can without comparing what I was...actually I am better. I am smarter, happier, more forgiving, compassionate, tough, a go getter, open, spiritual.....everything I wasn't before....
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 31
view profile
History
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:20:46 PM

I realize that we all age differently, and there may be a few guys out there who are still as "good as they once wuz"

If you're talking physically, that's a load of horse manure. No one, man or woman, 60 or over is as good as they ever were.

There are compensations. One can accept aging gracefully, and concentrate more on things that aren't so visible. Things like character, integrity, honor, the ability to learn from their life's experiences, and the ability to enjoy the 'here and now' of life. All the go-go-go of our younger years didn't always allow us to see the big picture, to enjoy the seasons rolling from one to the next, and the wisdom to appreciate this:


To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 32
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:37:53 PM
Great thread, OP. That took a lot of guts to lay it on the line as you did.

It's the same for women also. In some ways, even more difficult. Many men become dignified and more attractive as they age. Seldom does that happen with women. I seriously doubt that many of us are in as good condition as we were in our youth. At least, I don't know of any. I'm not even close. My health has really taken some hits. My weight is way up from where it was. But emotionally and intellectually, I'm in a much better place. I'm satisfied with how I look. I'm trying to lose weight and get in better shape physically for health reasons. I don't expect to ever wear a bikini but I'd like to wear a bathing suit in public without being humiliated.

My sexual desires have waned as I've aged but that may well be because I am not in a physical relationship at the moment. I care deeply about someone but, since we are thousands of miles apart, there isn't the sexual stimulation that would be present if we were together. I fully expect it to come roaring back to life when that happens.

OP, I'm really impressed with your trying to become a better you... inside. Stay positive and be confident. That's the biggest thing that attracts me to a man.
 BBQ Spider
Joined: 11/9/2009
Msg: 33
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:45:31 PM
Woah now. Are you the same guy who had 2 rocking chairs on his porch he made himself? Of course, you need not answer; and, I may have it/you all wrong. But if you are he, then I like you soooo much better now, admitting vulnerability, which means you're human, and all shit like that.

Either way. It's Friday night; I'm snowed in; I've overdone it with the schnapps; and I've always claimed my life was an open book. So I'll admit on the world wide web that as a female of a certain age,

* I have nose hair I pluck religiously.
* My bifocals don't always allow me to focus enough to notice when the upper-lip whiskers have grown back in, which I selfwax, making red patches on my skin which are almost as alarming as the hairs themselves.
* When I finally got a pair of glasses I could see through, and saw the dark circles beneath my eyes, I almost screamed out loud. Was depressed for about 2 weeks.

My lover either is too blind himself to notice any of these things, or too kind to mention them. Either way -- I feel loved for who I am, and if he dumped me tomorrow for a 20-something waffle shop waitress, I'd still feel blessed to have reached my 50's and had a man look at me like, talk to me like, and love me like, he already has.

I never thought it would happen. But if it happened for me, it can for anybody. My only distinguishing trait is that I never give up. I can't, even when I know it would be smarter. So don't you give up either, dammit.

I know I'm biased due to hanging mainly only with women who feel much like I do -- but the ones who hook up with the younger studs? It's not what they want, it was never The Goal. It's a pleasant, but temporary, past-time, to keep from going insane while they try to meet someone their own age who's compatible.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 34
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:15:40 PM
Well you may not be what you once were, when you compare yourself to those younger days, but you definitely have processed the fact and can clearly admit it.

This is actually very refreshing, trust me! When I read someones profile who says in their first few lines: that they look younger than they really are, I sigh in disapointment and move on.
It's one thing to chase a dream of becoming something that you have not yet mastered, it is something else to chase after something you once were.

You have discovered this in life, so now you can get on with the task of fulfilling your mission in life.
There are so many things to do that make your mark in life. I feel reality sometimes when I look at my beautiful daughters, but then I realize that time is wasting and I have bigger mountains to conquer.
Zinc is a mineral that balances the bodys natural sweat aromas.
 Pirate Mollie
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 35
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:17:23 PM
i am going to be 45 someday and i just want to prepared. i am totally a sub that way.
 Pfilly08
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 36
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:20:13 PM
You know what?

I've earned every single wrinkle. And hopefully each experience has made me a woman far more capable of giving and receiving love today than the lady with fewer wrinkles of yesterday.

Speaking for myself? I could care less about the wrinkles on a man's face. Or whether his waist size is the same as it was two decades ago. What is attractive to me are the twinkles in his eyes that thanks to an active lifestyle which embraces physical wellness as the foundation for every other kind of wellness. This kind of man will be drop dead gorgeous at 50. And 60. And 70. And 80.
And is such a man were to jump into my pond this decade, or the next or the next, I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes (or my hands) off of him

:)
 Smarts and Heart
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 37
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/29/2010 8:53:46 PM
OP...You know what the problem is? Even though you look in the mirror and you see grandpa...you seem to believe that what was good enough for grandpa isn't good enough for you. If Grandpa thought like you, Grandma would have been history!
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 38
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 5:52:11 AM
Right now, only one word comes to mind..."WOW"!

My question was about what could a guy of 63 reasonably expect, and I've already received much more than I ever expected, in all of your responses. I guess I luckily chose a good topic to re-introduce myself here, because after several years of hiding here under different names and personnas, this is by far the best response I've had to a thread or a post. In the past, I've received that "venom" that so many complain about here in these forums.

All of you lovely ladies (and I do mean that sincerely) have given me some really great insight, and inspiration to go back and fill out my profile with something other than "only here for the forums".

There really is something special about sharing time with a lady who remembers the same music and presidents as I do.

Yes, we'll never be any younger than we are today (and if my corrupt county commissioners keep raisng my taxes to pay their own pockets, never be any better off financially). So, I'm spinning my wheels in the mud! Time to get back on solid ground!

And to be honest, I've been told that Grandpa was a bit of a ladies' man!
 Pfilly08
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 39
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:04:59 AM
LOL, "farcal hollis",

As the never-too-"old" saying goes, "Talk is cheap."

Get those profile photos out, Baby. Hit us with your best shots.

Come at us with your wrinkles. And your twinkles.

"Grow old with [us}
The best is yet to come" (Yeats?? Who can remember?)

:)
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 40
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:05:22 AM
Miss VicShe said..."I doubt that most women your age are chasing "younger studs."

The key word here is "most"...several ladies I dated in the past...like in the 1994 - 96 time period, are still very attractive, youthful ladies...in their late fifties. And I am on "friends only" basis...they have their "young studs" for other things, and any mention from me of possibly moving beyond "friends only" is quickly and firmly dismissed. Some of them kind of laugh at me and say I need to "get a life". Well, isn't that what I'm trying to do?
Not that there is anything wrong with having female friends...I have many, and treasure their friendship. Some are my age, plus or minus a couple of years, some are in theur 30s and 40s, some are single, some are married or involved. But, all friends.

And all of you lovely ladies who have responded are all so far away!! I guess I'm still living in the wrong corner of the world!

Yep, time to start re-writing that profile.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 41
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 6:15:41 AM

Yep, time to start re-writing that profile.


Goodie gramps you re-write that profile of yours and go for broke.. After all what other way is there to go..

thecatsmeoww
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 42
view profile
History
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:01:32 AM

And all of you lovely ladies who have responded are all so far away!! I guess I'm still living in the wrong corner of the world!

You aren't the only one in the wrong part of the world, believe me. There are any number of perfectly nice men on the forums that I think I'd be a good match for, and vice versa - especially since I've just quit smoking (but that's not really relevant) - but they are all so far away!

And one I found who lives not far from me, not 20 minutes away, who actually has both dogs and birds and says in his profile he doesn't mind smoking, also says he's not even dating anymore because he's been burned too many times. He just logged in long enough to read the message I sent and reply, and hasn't been back on since.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 43
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 9:10:51 AM

And don't underestimate the value of good conversation.


I agree...conversation makes all the difference in the world...and so many men don't get it. Pretty sad when you live in the same house but feel you need to email to get a message across...




and you can always count on a Texas gal to say something nice!

Aha! NOW I know why you want to move to TX!!! Gotcha! lol




Many men become dignified and more attractive as they age. Seldom does that happen with women.

I totally agree with this statement. I think older men are MUCH better looking...even when they show me a picture of when they were younger to impress me...sorry but I'm more attracted to the older you than the younger you...it's unreal how much better looking most of them have become...or is it my eyes and brain that have changed? If that's the case, this is a good place to be.




The key word here is "most"...several ladies I dated in the past...like in the 1994 - 96 time period, are still very attractive, youthful ladies...in their late fifties. And I am on "friends only" basis...they have their "young studs" for other things, and any mention from me of possibly moving beyond "friends only" is quickly and firmly dismissed. Some of them kind of laugh at me and say I need to "get a life". Well, isn't that what I'm trying to do?
Not that there is anything wrong with having female friends...I have many, and treasure their friendship. Some are my age, plus or minus a couple of years, some are in theur 30s and 40s, some are single, some are married or involved. But, all friends.

You are seeing only what you WANT to see...I know for a fact that there have been women your age chasing after you...just not what you are looking for. Maybe you need to be more specific about what you want?

A girlfriend who was into online dating way before me, used to complain about how the men were all so old...overweight, some not in perfect health, etc. It was obvious to me that she was looking for what she could get when she was younger, and not having success at this age. I told her to look at some of the guys she knew that were really hot when she was younger...and look at them now. If she had married one of them then, would she have left him due to those changes? I would hope not. These changes are somewhat expected and come with age. We just need to be realistic when we are looking for a future mate.

I want someone who I can relate to and who will be able to relate to me...someone who understand on days when I may be aching...or understands when I don't heal as fast as I used to. We can laugh together when we forget things in the middle of conversation...or when we stop in the middle of a room forgetting what we went in that room for.


"Friends tell me I look and act younger than my age."
I see this sooo often. Don't men realize that we ALL hear this? It's just a sweet thing to say to older people. Listen closely...most of the time when you hear "You look so good"...or "You seem so young"...it is followed by "...For your age" ...or "Than your age". That part says as much or more than the first part. A lot of people have misconceptions of what people our age are supposed to look like, hence the 'compliment'. Let's not let that go to our heads. lol

(This is the 3rd time to try to fix this...if it's still messed up, I have no idea what I did wrong!)

~DC~
 ForumFilly
Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 44
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 10:14:58 AM
Hey, farcal... so glad you put your photos up. I much prefer to know to whom I'm speaking (typing). If I lived in your neck of the woods, and wasn't involved, I'd sure as hell be writing to you. You're intelligent, funny, introspective and, in my humble opinion, very sexy. You could park your bike in my driveway anytime. My guy is 63 also. I don't think we can 'expect' anything. But what we find maybe just what we were hoping for.

Best of luck to you. And by giving up, you are only guaranteeing that you fail. You sure don't seem like a quitter to me.
 Frau Blücher
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 45
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 10:41:22 AM
As I was looking through some old photos, I noticed a picture of me taken when I was almost 30. I thought, “Wow, I was a good looking gal”. When the photo was taken, I didn’t hold myself in such high regard. Then I found a photo taken when I was 40. “Hey, I looked really good back then”, I thought. Again, during the time period in which the picture was snapped, I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, “When did my body move to Saggy Acres?” So, here I am. I just turned 50 last week and NOW I’m thinking that when I hit 60, I’m going to be looking at photos taken today and muse, “Not bad, not bad for 50.” Ergo, I’ve decided to start mentally time traveling when it comes to self-perception. In regards to my current appearance at 50, I am going think like my 60 year old future self, “Not bad, not bad.”

As good as I ever was? Maybe not. A hell of a lot better than I’m gonna be? Absolutely!!
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 46
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 10:51:08 AM
More great responses from more great ladies! And still no guys weighing in, calling me down!


You are seeing only what you WANT to see...I know for a fact that there have been women your age chasing after you...


Really? Was I there?


Hey, farcal... so glad you put your photos up. I much prefer to know to whom I'm speaking (typing). If I lived in your neck of the woods, and wasn't involved, I'd sure as hell be writing to you. You're intelligent, funny, introspective and, in my humble opinion, very sexy. You could park your bike in my driveway anytime. My guy is 63 also. I don't think we can 'expect' anything. But what we find maybe just what we were hoping for.

Best of luck to you. And by giving up, you are only guaranteeing that you fail. You sure don't seem like a quitter to me.


Well, Miss Forum Filly, I thank you for your kind words! But they are the same pics that were up the last several times I was here (most of them, anyway) ! They didn't seem to get much notice then!

I think that I might have stumbled on a good move, here...going to the forums first, before writing the profile again, and posting any pics. Sometimes we just have to step back and re-group.

I'm a "temporary quitter"...I'll get frustrated, leave for a while, and try to come back with a better approach. I'm currently doing the same thing on another site that you are, I see, newly familiar with! I was there for years, also, but several times have had to "remove myself" to keep from doing any more damage, to the site or to myself.

I have learned so much from this thread...the most important thing is that not everyone here is mean, cruel, vindictive...all of the other adjectives I've read in so many forums posts, and seen in the attitudes of the posters.

I guess an answer to my question (What can a guy in his 60s reasonably expect) is that we can expect what we give. Now, if I could only "expect' it locally, or in real life...

Thanks!!
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 47
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 12:58:17 PM

"Friends tell me I look and act younger than my age."


Honestly, when I see this on a profile or forum post, I always think... Okay he/she is immature... or acts inappropriately/childish comes to mind!

If someone told me I didn't act my age I would immediately think it was an negative... I don't know how to act younger, I am who I am...... and act accordingly.

I look 51, and can't change that........ I don't know how to... this is how and who I am... Why would you want to be someone/thing else? (unless you are not happy with yourself)

I want someone who is who he is... and not trying to be something else... It shouldn't be difficult... Right?
 dave91741
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 48
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:05:12 PM
I guess an answer to my question (What can a guy in his 60s reasonably expect) is that we can expect what we give.


Come on Man !!! Just be grateful we don't get what we deserve!!!!!! Look at the way we treat each other on here .


BTW I remember when you split POF and understood
 nemeski
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 49
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:49:12 PM
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! I LOVE your post.

If I have to read another profile that states "I don't look, act, or feel my age" I think I'm gonna puke! What is the problem with people BEING their age, ACTING their age, or LOOKING their age? Why do we care so much in any case? Aren't we MORE than our age?? Anyways, excuse this little mini-rant - you touched on a major pet peeve of mine here, hollis. I so appreciate you writing this post.

Kudos to you for speaking of this. I haven't yet read any of the other replies, but I for one am thrilled to see you've had the honesty and courage to speak the truth. NO, don't be dishonest about yourself; your honesty is like a breath of fresh air on this rather youth-obsessed site. We are who we are, warts, grey hairs, baggage, wrinkles and all. Everyone will one day be here - it's a natural progression of life. It's great. We've earned and paid for every one of our laugh lines, and ought not apologize about them, ever!

I'm in your camp. Keep telling it like it is; there are a few of us here who welcome your sense of 'realness.' Keep it coming...

~nemeski
 farcal hollis
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 50
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/30/2010 2:09:15 PM
Thanks, Dave and Nemeski!

Yes, Dave...I remember!

And Miss Nemeski, you really should go back and read the other posts in this thread. Really wonderful!

Maybe others on this "youth-obsessed site" as you called it, will open up a bit.

I just discovered, purely by accident, an old friend on this site! A lady I knew very well back in the 1980's. She was a regular at the country dance halls where I played music. In the early '90s, those places either closed, or were taken over by the DJs, and no more bands. I ran into her a few times in the last couple of years in some new places we played. She is a couple of years older than I am...she was adorably cute "back then", looked as good in recent years, and looks absolutely fantastic in her profile pics here, now! Logically, she has actually aged as I have, but she is as attractive to me now, at our current ages, as she was back in 1984!
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!