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 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 58
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Your past is only your past.
Who cares how handsome you were long time ago?
Your real time is now!Too bad...if your confidence is only physical appearance!

By the way...I see often friends from my past...people who were so attractive when they were young...more attractive than any celebreties...but now...they don't look the same way and some of them are not happy and alone.
And for some ugly people beauty came later...they are physical attractive now.
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 61
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/31/2010 3:51:18 PM
As far as I can see , the biggest problem here is the mindset . Of course we ALL age , and changes inevitably take place . But many of those changes can be modified , and even reversed , with some dedication to maintaining one's health through regular exercise, a conscious diet, and a positive attitude .

Might help to look around you - many are way worse off. Try and concentrate on what you HAVE - not what you've LOST .

Unfortunately , it's this sort of attitude that often turns me off to men my own age . The mind over matter thing concerning age : if you don't mind - it don't matter !

I hear too many 50+ folks using "at my age ... " , and " I'm too old to do that ...".

Self limiting thinking . Look around you - do some research . There are plenty of folks way past your age , that are growing , thriving , accomplishing , loving - all sorts of things !

Maybe you're not as good as you ever were - but just maybe , in many areas , you have the capacity to be BETTER than you ever were !
 Wyenot01
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 70
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/5/2010 8:31:15 PM
Hollis, I cut to the chase and didn't even read whatever else was written by others.

As you probably already know, you've tapped into the psyche of a bevy of women, and they are probably right this minute emailing you avowing the same thing.

whatever

Have you ever read the "Velveteen Rabbit"? It's a children's book that offers some big truths about loving something (someone) that's been around for years and has had all its fur (hair) rubbed (fallen) off.

I've always strived to see the person inside the persona. And I hope that my counterpart would do the same. It doesn't always happen that way and dating at this age is not pretty, but honesty will out, in my humble opinion.

Keep on truckin'!

 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 74
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/6/2010 8:25:46 AM
To start out with I don't date online here as my social scene provides ample opportunities to meet women of all kinds and ages. At my age (going on 61) I still enjoy an uncommonly good state of health and fitness. It's hard to even respond to threads like this without sounding smug or arrogant, but I am how I am, which is confident that I can expect to date women of any age I might choose. I've been on these fora for a while now and have posted to these kinds of threads before. Often I get responses to my posts that indicate to me, misery loves company. No one wants to hear me talking about how good I feel or good I think I look.
My son(30) and I often go out together, We even danced in the same dance company for a couple of years. He's in a pic with me in my profile pics. When we're out, all the same women who want to hang with him, want to hang with me as well.
Now just because I can; I'm not always sure I should...I have dated lots of young women in their 30's, but I realize there's no future in it. I much prefer ladies mid 40's to 50 or so, but they must match my level of fitness and attractiveness.
And yes, I feel that I'm very attractive; I get a lot of postive reinforcement from women of all ages, so I know there's something to it.
And I'm not trying to be younger. I'm just trying to live as well as I can, AS I am. If that means still enjoying an active social life and satisfying work and leisure, then it is what it is, And I'm really thankful for all of it.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 77
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/6/2010 11:14:06 AM
My Motto is "As you think it, so shall it be".
So many I believe have an idea of what aging and maturity are. They fix these images in their minds and eventually manifest those qualities in themselves. these images that are held , are reinforced by seeing people in their 60's who are around them as family members, asscociates etc. more or less conform to the images they hold, hence it is assumed all in this age grouping must be this way, since it is all they are familiar with in their lives.
These are the one's IMHO that have such a problem believing it can turn out differently for some others. "FluffyBrain" seems to be one of these. To me she seems like the very kind of person who'll experience the biggest difficulty aging as she seems to hate it SO MUCH. All of it, IMHO, due to her fear of Father time. There is no way for someone like this to age gracefully as they see no grace in it at all; truly a pity.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 78
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/6/2010 6:26:31 PM
Damassteel, yes you really DO look great and younger than your age...and usually I happen to think older looks better...you truly ARE the exception to the rule! You can feel proud. Enjoy it while you can!

Farcal, I've always told you that you're hot...NOW do you believe me?

This thread really IS like a breath of fresh air!

~DC~
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 83
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/11/2010 9:47:10 AM
It's a tough situation, more I think on your end in a way because you cannot help what you are attracted to. I am running into guys my age or up to ten years older looking older than the OP and when they tend to take after my father, lighter hair, kind of semi-graying scruffy look beard, I don't think I could really get beyond the putting a picture of my dad in my head thing. Then again, there is a local guy that from his profile I would like to contact but he is nearly a dead wringer for my middle brother.

My mother is 80, she looks 20 years younger. The men her age or ten years younger are in horrible health Health wise she is dealing with issues at a similar level to that which the OP strives but who in their 60s is going to want to hook up with an 80-year-old woman?

They may be few and far between OP but certainly there are women in your age bracket that are starting to experience the trudging component of time/life events. So many people are retiring younger, I would imagine there might be some women your age in retirement groups/activities. Meetup.com has tons of groups based on interests and commonalities and if they have nothing for the not-yet-geriatric set in your area, you could start a group including in its description some of the things you put in this thread, i.e. minimal health and aging type stuff and finding few people with commonalities.

The only problem with using Velveteen as an analogy is that the person fell for the bald rabbit when it was in its prime and is its misshapen appearance is attractive partially because the person that values the toy was the one that put it in that condition by wearing it away with love. I think many people are willing to hang with you when you are both declining but finding someone to start out with when people do start having to deal more with the problems of advancing years, it is just difficult.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 84
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 2/11/2010 9:53:48 AM
Ichi-bon, you make an interesting comment. When I got involved with someone around 3 years ago and when I made a comment about something not looking great he was like for C's sake, we are in our 40s, you have had three kids, I haven't had any kids and you look better than I do, maybe if my c-section tummy was gone, but it was a sweet thing to say. Also sorry your first husband was such a jerk. When I was pregnant with my first, I asked him if he would still love me fat, and instead of reassuring me that I wouldn't be unattractive to him when I was big as a house, he said it was okay if I lost the weight afterward, wtf? He was 30 pounds at least overweight when we met, he was telling me I needed to lose weight baby or no baby?


I think no matter what a person believes their flaws are...we are always harder on ourselves....the quiet spirit inside is what we fall in love with. I thought my late husband was just handsome as they come. He had been a runner before and his legs and butt were a masterpiece!! Even when he started losing all the weight when he became sick.......my natural eyes saw it, but my heart never did. Because of his illness that finally took him, we had a celibate marriage for several years. I look at pictures of him now and try to remember when those things occurred. Funny I can't.

This was so simple and eloquent.

Sucks that you lost him so young but you are lucky to have shared this kind of love with someone for any length of time.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 85
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Posted: 2/11/2010 2:33:56 PM

It's a tough situation, more I think on your end in a way because you cannot help what you are attracted to. I am running into guys my age or up to ten years older looking older than the OP and when they tend to take after my father, lighter hair, kind of semi-graying scruffy look beard, I don't think I could really get beyond the putting a picture of my dad in my head thing.


My point precisely, Most women my age just remind me of my Mom. I don't remind me of my Dad; So, it makes it a tough leap going towards women my own age.

packagedealx3, you seem to get it, but I've certainly been raked over for feeling this way.
 Dceeeee
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 86
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 8/17/2010 5:37:37 AM
Just to let you all know....America has lost another great man. 'Farcal Hollis' was diagnosed with colon cancer on July 2nd, and passed away on July 24th. On Aug 2nd, there was a HUGE funeral given by his friends and organizations he belonged to, and honored for all the work he did for the POW-MIA, veterans, and troops. Even though he wasn't a veteran, they still played Taps at his funeral.

The funeral director asked, "What do I have to do, to get a funeral like this?" The answer: You have to EARN it!"

Just goes to show, sometimes we just don't realize how much we mean to others. He left a legacy... I for one, will never forget him.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 88
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 8/22/2010 10:56:38 AM
...I was devasted to hear the news of his passing.... Al, (aka Farcal Hollis )was a dear friend of mine. We *met* almost four years ago on PoF and later I joined another chat site and had the pleasure of getting better aquainted with him. What a lovely man, a special man with a good spirit..... I sincerely regret never getting the chance to meet him in real life. He will be/is soley missed by all who knew him.

Rest in Peace Al

...mae
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 89
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 8/22/2010 10:57:59 AM
...I was devasted to hear the news of his passing.... Al, (aka Farcal Hollis )was a dear friend of mine. We *met* almost four years ago on PoF and later I joined another chat site and had the pleasure of getting better aquainted with him. What a lovely man, a special man with a good spirit..... I sincerely regret never getting the chance to meet him in real life. He will be/is soley missed by all who knew him.

Rest in Peace Al

...mae
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 91
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Posted: 9/4/2010 7:53:47 AM

Sorry, but if a man your age can't see the beauty in you, browneyes, that's his loss. Maybe it's that little part of our brains that thinks we're still young? I recall someone asking me 'Quick, without thinking, how old are you?' My response was "23, er 8, 30...7?..40-shit!"
I think older men (active, interesting older men) are very attractive. I find it hard to believe they wouldn't find a woman their age (active, interesting) attractive as well.
Ummm, sorry...I have to agree with BrownEyesBoo....men "our age" are NOT interested in women "our age" (their own ages)

If I were to take a S.W.A.G. at the exact percentages of men who find me attractive (over the last 10 yrs...age 47-57) I'd have to honestly say that...about 75% of them are men who are AT LEAST 10-15 yrs younger...and a LOT of them...close to 30 yrs younger. Case in point...it embarrasses my 14 yr old Grandson when his Little League teammates comment about his "hot granny".

I further agree:
Sometimes I kid myself, too! I don't really want to connect with a lady who looks like I remember my grandmother, in spite of the fact that when I look in a mirror, I see my grandfather looking back at me! I really want to connect with the gals I remember from years ago, but as I said, I'm kidding myself, too!!
HOWEVER, I think it frequently goes even beyond the males desire for an attractive women...or perhaps more DIRECTLY to the reason he desires the "attractive women". LOL! The IRONY is...(as the gentleman admitted himself) that..things start changing over the age of 50. Men may "need" that "extra encouragement" they'd feel by having a much younger woman willing to pay some of the attention back. On the other hand....most of them (older men) are turned off by a women their own age even admitting that she HAS a sexuality, much less if she openly demonstrates it! And he pretty well hit the nail on the head there.....most men EXPECT Grandmother's.....to LOOK and ACT like THEIR Grandmothers.

LOL! so, there you have it.....that's why I occasionally "date" men who are 15 yrs younger...knowing full well that it is a "short term friendship". As I'm not totally ready for the rocker on the front porch just yet.....I'll wait until I hit 70 before considering anything for a "long term commitment. LOL! by then...most of the men my own age will no longer be able to deny their mortality, and have accepted that they're not really all that and a bag of chips EITHER!!! :-)
 URXO2
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 95
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 9/7/2010 10:33:40 AM
Farewell Farcal Hollis you left us much to early, ..to be diagnosed with colon cancer on the 2nd and pass on the 24th, but obviously Farcal had some clue his health was failing ("As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!") he mistakenly took his slow deterioration with the progression of this disease as aging, very unfortunate he was obviously well like and intelligent..
Farcal Hollis should be an example for us all, colon cancer can be treated and stop, at our age we need to have a colonoscopy where polyps can be discovered removed and biopsied...before they metastasize
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 98
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 9/21/2010 7:18:31 PM
'Farcal Hollis' was a good man and a gentle spirit.
He had a kind word to say to everyone. I wish he didn't have to leave.

Rest in Peace Al, you 'll be remembered .

 haida41
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 99
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:22:04 PM
I'm not as good as I once was, but i'm as good once as I ever was.
 notimeout
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 100
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/7/2012 11:51:54 AM
What a great post, so glad haida41 made a comment that brought it back to the front page.
Every one of us could learn from it, no matter what our age. The comments from the ladies
show great insight and wisdom. I feel fortunate to have noticed this thread and followed along to the bittersweet end. Thanks Al, you left quite legacy. R.I.P.
 Marshall10
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 103
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Posted: 1/8/2012 7:55:32 AM
You bring up an issue of yet another reason why it is difficult for those our age to find someone suitable and compatible.

There are not as many physical disparities, generally speaking, between men and women while in their twenties and thirties, but after that, the gaps begin to widen.

Like everyone I've seen men and women 50 years old who look like they are 60 and vice versa. Likewise I know men and women who are 60 or older yet physically they are in very good condition, and can outperform many who are 10 to 15 years younger.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 104
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/11/2012 5:22:05 PM

Older men need to see how ridiculous they look and act and grow up if they want solid, loving relationships in which there is give and take. Perhaps they feel they have already given enough - but then stay out of the pond.


There is all kinds of fish in the pond. Although some men are not looking for more than a little shall I say excitement, there are women looking for the same thing.. Besides the smell of dead fish is just ghastly so why not live and let live..

nativerock
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 105
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As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/11/2012 5:40:34 PM

There is all kinds of fish in the pond. Although some men are not looking for more than a little shall I say excitement, there are women looking for the same thing.. Besides the smell of dead fish is just ghastly so why not live and let live..

Live and let live is fine, but it also gets frustrating if one is looking even for casual dating. The last few sign ups in my area of men near my age are men who look every second of their age. and if they don't have pot bellies hanging way over their belts, they have faces that look like 40 miles of bad road. Even so, a few of them have interesting enough profiles that I'd enjoy meeting them - but their age limits are 45-58. I'm 'too old' for them, even though they are all older than me.
 lowmiles2
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 106
As Good As I Ever Was.....NOT!!!
Posted: 1/11/2013 9:43:43 AM
I agree that I can not have sex multiply times in one day. I except that. That being said, I can have one enjoyable evening every day. Being sexual has never been a problem for me and I hope it doesn't in the future. I guess I could always take a pill when the time comes.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 107
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Posted: 1/11/2013 10:25:23 AM
Same thing here, Kari135.
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