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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Drama at home - what should I do?      Home login  
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 Frybreadpower
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 5
Drama at home - what should I do?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Oh, and Tigeress, don't worry about any domestic abuse going on. My friends girl friend is a 4th degree black belt in karate. I don't think that M would be stupid enough to get violent with her... LOL.

-Daniel
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 6
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:29:28 PM
Look after yourself first. That means keeping your nose out of their business, looking for a new living situation, and figuring out if the commute is worth the savings. Don't the local papers have a "roommate wanted" section? Seriously?

If you can't afford to live on your own in your area at this point, then you need to educate yourself on the other alternatives or adjust your standards of living. Is the rent worth the drama/stress? Why is it so few people look at stress in $$$? Just because you may not be paying out money for a stressful situation doesn't mean it won't cost you.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 7
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 1/31/2010 8:45:02 PM
All three roommates that I had came from here on POF and I never had any problems with any of them. They were men. I was not in intimate relationships with them and did not ever indicate that I would be. I split the rent and utilities with them and always had my own room and bathroom.

They were all men I knew from here in the forums and when I contacted them and let them know I needed a roommate, they helped me. I guess I got lucky. So if you have made any friends here on POF ... it might be a possibility.

I would stay out of their drama ... you have enough worries of your own.
 Frybreadpower
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 8
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 1/31/2010 9:46:44 PM
I looked in the paper and on Craig's List for two months, and saw nothing in my price range worth taking. I have a contact who works at an organization that matches up home owners with renters who are looking to rent a bedroom and share the house, and I will go to her if I need to move out. She helped me find my last place, which I lived at for 3 years before my housemate passed. I have no problem living with someone in a houseshare situation. I've done it three times before and they were all fine. Not perfect, but fine.

I hadn't thought about trying to find POF roomies, but that's a good idea. How did you meet them? How did you know there were in your area?

Thanks for your help!

-Daniel
 Frybreadpower
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 9
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:31:03 PM
Actually, I have two part-time jobs... LOL! I make over $13 an hour at both jobs and have outstanding medical benefits and a pension, but I also have $200 a month car payments and other living expenses. All in all, I can't afford more than about $500 a month for rent. it sucks. I want to replace one of my jobs for a better paying job, but that's unlikely since I don't have a degree. Times are tough.

-Daniel
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 10
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/1/2010 1:34:49 PM

I hadn't thought about trying to find POF roomies, but that's a good idea. How did you meet them? How did you know there were in your area?
That's easy ... just do a search for people in your area.

In Hawaii, I just did a search and contacted people in the direct preferred area and asked for help in finding an apartment and one of the contacts offered me a house share situation. We each had our own bedroom and our own bathroom and shared the rest of the house. It worked out great since I didn't really have any furniture.

A different roommate was a poster I met in the forums and it just happened that he lived in an area that I was preparing to temporarily move to ... so he offered me the second bedroom and bathroom in his apartment. It worked out for the time I needed to be there.

Still a different roommate (also from the forums) offered me space in his home until I found a job and got my own apartment.
 Frybreadpower
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 11
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/1/2010 7:10:18 PM
Thanks for the advice. I never thought about growing up and moving out. I also would never have thought about getting onto a high horse and telling someone else to grow up and move out ;)

$200 car payments + insurance + food costs + gas + plus a little extra for miscellaneous purchases = Leaves me with $500 for rent and utilities. I have two part-time jobs and work less than 40 hours a week. I'm looking for a new job, so please don't bother telling me to work more hours, etc..., etc...

Mel, I'll just go with the flow and keep paying my rent on time, and just keep my fingers crossed. The actual arguments don't bother me that much, but the uncertainty of whether K will break the lease and move out bothers me. I'm lucky though... I'm not on the lease, so if something happens I will move out scotch free.

Yes, I do have relatives who I can stay with. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't come to that though.

-Daniel
 EvilLolli
Joined: 12/7/2008
Msg: 12
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:29:37 PM
In your area(outside of Philly) is public transport really that hard to come by? As I recall from years ago when I lived in Norristown there was plenty of affordable public transport to Philly. Granted I am assuming that you work in Philly. But if you want a secure living place, you might have to consider changes to your lifestyle to enable that change. If it is closer to work, do you really need a car? Have you tried asking co-workers/other friends to look for you?

If your other expenses are too much to afford a comfortable living arrangement(and the dram isn't comfortable-despite what you say), you may need to re-prioritize your needs. Car, food, entertainment are easily adjustable expenses to obtain what you need to be content/at peace in your living space.

I love having lots of space to live in, but a good neighborhood in a low stress situation was more important than space to me(gave up a 3 bedroom apt for a 3 room apt to gain a more comfortable situation-the price was the same).
 Frybreadpower
Joined: 10/10/2008
Msg: 13
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:39:00 AM
Okay, so this is kind of ridiculous, but yesterday I was talking to K, and I asked her if she had any "roomie complaints". She said she didn't, but then she unexpectedly asked me if I did. At first I said "not really", but then a minute later I corrected myself and said to her, "actually, there is one thing...", then I asked her if she and M could try and keep it down if they find themselves arguing. She wasn't offended at all. Our conversation was actually beneficial for both of us. Just goes to show that I was worrying for nothing. Thanks for all the advice guys :)

-Daniel
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 14
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/4/2010 7:08:14 AM
"Okay, so this is kind of ridiculous, but yesterday I was talking to K, and I asked her if she had any "roomie complaints". She said she didn't, but then she unexpectedly asked me if I did. At first I said "not really", but then a minute later I corrected myself and said to her, "actually, there is one thing...", then I asked her if she and M could try and keep it down if they find themselves arguing. She wasn't offended at all. Our conversation was actually beneficial for both of us. Just goes to show that I was worrying for nothing. Thanks for all the advice guys :)"

Ah, advice is seriously considered, and you did indeed get some. Thank proverbial God you didn't listen to any of the ridiculous speculation from the Peanut Gallery. I wish you great luck Daniel,

John
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 15
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Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:28:09 AM
downsize , get rid of the expensive car payment, i did, do the commute, live on your own, you are 33, its time, move into something you can afford, and most importantly, do not get into there drama, its just not your place
 milt_n_bradley
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 16
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 2/4/2010 8:46:08 AM
Time to move.
If your friend's relationship is in so much trouble that he and his girlfriend can't respect the fact that you now live w/ them and they should curtail their arguments,then you'll soon be moving anyway.
Bottom line: Find a cheap place and move on w/ your life.
 forumrun4
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 17
Drama at home - what should I do?
Posted: 5/7/2011 1:31:01 PM
Look dan...your roomies have anger problems...you have to get them on the same page...get them to be angry at a third party

They have to team up and be all entwined and angry at something else as a diversion.

Get them to start suspecting a nieghbour or a guy across the lane...they must pool
thier hatred together towards that supposed bastage dude across the way whom keeps leaving notes pinned to the car...get what i am saying stranger

dang..this is from 2008...guess dan is hanging his oparents wash on the line...lol
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